MDR
by Yilena
Summary: Marinette liked not knowing much about her online friends. With the arrival of a newcomer to their group chat, they suddenly start to believe that she has a crush on herself, no matter how obvious she tries to make it that she likes someone else. AU.
1. 01

**AN:** Okay, the plan with this is for the chapters to be a lot shorter than my other stories. There'll be a mixture of different chats, mostly group and a few one-on-ones, all revolving around Marinette (meaning only her private chats will be shown, and group chat after she's joined). It's just an experiment to try and have short chapters and have a fully chat-centric story, really.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: wtb a brain for nino  
** ** **marinara has joined the chat****

 **marinara:  
** I'm not trying to start a war or anything  
but she looked me dead in the eye and asked for a milkshake  
full well knowing that the blender is fucking faulty

 **Alyarr:  
** arch nemesis back at it again?

 **marinara:  
** she fucking knows, I'm telling you  
those coffee shop au stories are lying to you guys  
it's not all sunshine and rainbows

 **Thani:  
** Mari.

 **marinara:  
** don't fucking mari me  
you haven't experienced true pain until ice cream hits you in the face  
at full speed

 **Alyarr:  
** I thought the worst was burning your fingers last week  
what did I miss?

 **marinara:  
** I got milkshake in my eye

 **Thani:  
** I thought it was your face?  
It sounds like you're making it all up now, Mari.

 **marinara:  
** listen  
I'll fucking fight you if you want

 **Alyarr:  
** irl or not

 **marinara:  
** both  
I can take him

 **Thani:  
** You probably come up to my shoulder.

 **marinara:  
** protect your knees

 **Thani:  
** I'll punt you without hesitation.

 **Alyarr:  
** careful  
almost sounds like you two are flirting

 **marinara:  
** I'm not into that

 **Thani:  
** It was a long time ago, okay.  
I'm completely over her.

 **marinara:  
** nath, it was last month

 **Thani:  
** Please leave me alone.

 **marinara:  
** I can't take you seriously when you type like a nun

 **Thani:  
**...Isn't a nun a bit extreme?  
I'd like to think I sound like a teacher.

 **Alyarr:  
** nath  
you sound like you sip tea really obnoxiously

 **marinara:  
** I second that  
you're like the old man that comes in on wednesdays

 **Thani:  
** Sometimes, I wonder why I'm even here.

 **Alyarr:  
** you like mari  
and gaming with us  
it's a package deal

 **Thani:  
** Past tense.  
I realised the error of my ways when she started fangirling.

 **marinara:  
** I resent that.

 **Thani:  
** Was that period really necessary?  
I can't tell if you're mocking me or not.

 **marinara:  
** I would never.

 **Alyarr:  
** Why would anyone ever do that?

 **Thani:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** anyway  
let's go back to my crisis  
unless you two have spice to tell me

 **Alyarr:  
** go back to complaining  
I'm fucking bored

 **marinara:  
** my pain is your entertainment?

 **Alyarr:  
** at least I'm honest

 **Thani:  
** My day always pales in comparison to you.

 **marinara:  
** aw

 **Thani:  
** I meant yours.  
You really don't have to reject me all over again.

 **marinara:  
** what if I was about to ask you to sleep with me?  
that could've been your chance, man

 **Thani:  
** Mari, you told me you'd never be able to love someone without a soul.

 **Alyarr:  
** to be fair  
you didn't have to tell her you're ginger

 **Thani:  
** We were sharing details.

 **marinara:  
** I was drunk  
stop judging me

 **Alyarr:  
** it was a pretty brutal rejection

 **marinara:  
** I thought he was joking!

 **Thani:  
** I'd really appreciate it if we went back to talking about your day.  
Spare me the embarrassment.

 **marinara:  
** you're cute but it's like  
younger brother cute?  
I wouldn't be able to look at you and think mm

 **Alyarr:  
** mari  
you've never even seen him

 **marinara:  
** what's your point?  
he's never seen me but he wanted to bone

 **Thani:  
** I can't believe I ever thought you were cute.

 **marinara:  
** honestly same?  
it was pretty wild

 **Alyarr:  
** I can confirm you're missing out  
nath's pretty cute

 **Thani:  
** We need to stop using the word cute.  
I'm starting to wince whenever I see it.

 **marinara:  
** you just said it yourself!  
why won't anyone show me their selfies

 **Alyarr:  
** because you refuse to show yours  
we've got a pact

 **Thani:  
** You've only been here two months.

 **marinara:  
** two months earns me a bad nickname  
but not your pictures?

 **Thani:  
** Don't try to talk to me about bad nicknames.

 **marinara:  
** I was drunk  
I didn't mean to call you thani

 **Alyarr:  
** you're marinara for life  
I don't make the rules

 **ninny has joined the chat**

 **ninny:  
** hey, losers  
i come with great news

 **Alyarr:  
** finally got some common sense?

 **Thani:  
** You didn't put your milk in the dishwasher today?

 **ninny:  
** no but  
im not a complete animal  
have some faith

 **marinara:  
** I believe in you, ninny

 **ninny:  
** the nickname ruined it but thanks  
youre a true pal, mari

 **Alyarr:  
** she just doesn't know how dumb you are yet  
don't get too cosy

 **marinara:  
** are you marking your territory or what

 **Thani:  
** What's the news, Nino?

 **ninny:  
** thanis got my back  
what a good bud

 **Thani:  
** I'm starting to feel like a dog.

 **marinara:  
** are you a good boy?

 **Alyarr:  
** mari stop  
he'll start dreaming of you asking that

 **Thani has left the chat**

 **ninny:  
** anyway  
moving on  
guess who made a new friend last night

 **marinara:  
** …  
did you even make it into work on time?

 **Alyarr:  
** what do you mean last night?  
you told me you were going to bed

 **ninny:  
** i did go to bed  
but then i woke up and couldnt go back to sleep  
so i soloqueued

 **marinara:  
** is this how you introduced me to the group  
just out of nowhere

 **Alyarr:  
** it wasn't night but yes  
he was salty you kept killing him

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** moving  
on

 **Alyarr:  
** is this you asking permission to invite someone again?

 **ninny:  
** i dont need permission, alya  
im in charge

 **marinara:  
** okay, bossman  
who have you got for us?  
I'm ready not to be the new guy

 **ninny:  
** idk he seems pretty chill  
we played for like four hours

 **Alyarr:  
** that's longer than anyone can put up with you  
dude deserves an award

 **ninny:  
** that hurts, alya

 **Alyarr:  
** someone has to tell you the truth

 **ninny:  
** my heart is broken  
how can i go on like this  
give me your eyepatch to put it on my wound

 **Alyarr:  
** I actually have glasses  
not an eyepatch

 **ninny:  
** thats what you want us to think  
anyway  
im adding him in, dont scare him off

 **marinara:  
** I don't like what you're implying there

 **ninny has invited plagg to the chat  
plagg has joined the chat**

 **Alyarr:  
** don't be so mean to us ninny

 **ninny:  
** this is plagg  
be nice to him

 **marinara:  
** plagg  
how did you manage to play with him for so long?

 **plagg:  
** hello  
what

 **Alyarr:  
** ninny  
he usually quits after dying too much  
we only get like five games together

 **ninny:  
** ignore them  
my names still nino, please remember that

 **plagg:  
** ok  
i'll try

 **marinara:  
** he seems innocent  
how did you even convince him to be your friend?

 **ninny:  
** i didnt have to convince anyone  
why are you all so mean to me

 **plagg:  
** he offered to help me get better  
so i took him up on the offer?

 **Alyarr:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** im regretting this

 **plagg:  
** oh, was i not supposed to say that?  
sorry i'm new  
to the game, i mean

 **Alyarr:  
** nino

 **plagg:  
** and here, i guess  
this is very weird

 **marinara:  
** nino  
you found someone worse than you?

 **ninny:  
** please leave me alone

 **Alyarr:  
** nath's gonna fucking love this  
I can't believe it

 **plagg:  
** wait  
you aren't all new too?

 **marinara:  
** nino what have you been telling this poor dude!

 **plagg:  
** he said we could learn together?  
but if that's not the case  
i don't mind leaving?

 **Alyarr:  
** no you're precious  
you can stay plagg

 **marinara:  
** you might want a different teacher tho  
ninny's terrible

 **plagg:  
** is that you offering?  
because i'm not really picky  
i've only been playing like three days

 **ninny:  
** stop stealing my friends

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
I'm probably the best player here?

 **Alyarr:  
** don't be so modest  
it makes me want to murder you

 **marinara:  
** you're not too bad

 **ninny:  
** youve never offered to teach me, mari

 **plagg:  
** i'm starting to think i was lied to

 **marinara:  
** you called me a hacker

 **ninny:  
** that was before i got to know you  
now i know youre just annoying!

 **Alyarr:  
** you're welcome to play with us whenever plagg  
but it's pretty rare for everyone to be on at the same time  
might have to pick and choose

 **marinara:  
** move over, ninny  
I'm gonna mentor plagg  
so he'll fucking murder you

 **plagg:  
** but i don't want to murder anyone

 **Alyarr:  
** that'll change soon

 **plagg:  
** i don't even know you guys  
why would i want to cause you harm?

 **marinara:  
** …

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm adopting him

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** hey  
you okay, nath?

 **Thani:  
** I'm fine.

 **marinara:  
** you sure?  
sorry if we pissed you off or anything

 **Thani:  
** Honest.  
I left the chat because I wanted to concentrate a bit.

 **marinara:  
** then you would've said bye like normal  
I'm onto you

 **Thani:  
** I'm not mad.

 **marinara:  
** there's more emotions than just mad  
do you want me to lay off with the teasing?  
I get that I might not  
be all that aware at times?  
but I don't want to annoy you

 **Thani:  
** I don't want you to treat me any differently.  
You don't have to change just because you don't like me back.

 **marinara:  
** but like  
if it's making it awkward between us

 **Thani:  
** Mari, it was just a crush.  
I'll get over it.

 **marinara:  
** idk man  
I am pretty amazing

 **Thani:  
** Stop fishing.

 **marinara:  
** for real, though  
if you ever want me to stop doing something  
don't be afraid to say!

 **Thani:  
** I promise I'll tell you if anything ever happens.

 **marinara:  
** I'm holding you to that!

 **Thani:  
** You really don't have to change.  
I'll still be up at night working, so we can continue talk then.

 **marinara:  
** you sure?

 **Thani:  
** You're a nice distraction from work.

 **marinara:  
** are you ever going to tell me what you do?  
because I'm leaning towards mortician

 **Thani:  
** If you ever guess right, I'll tell you.

 **marinara:  
** fair

 **Thani:  
** Alya's not going to tell you, so don't even try bribing her.

 **marinara:  
** I'm offended you think I'd ever do that?

 **Thani:  
** Don't even try.  
Even offering to help her rank up won't work.

 **marinara:  
** it's not my fault she doesn't want to play ranked without nino  
and we all know how that goes!

 **Thani:  
** With a lot of caps lock?  
I'm just glad we don't play with microphones.

 **marinara:  
** you don't want to hear my sweet voice?

 **Thani:  
** I hope you sound like a gargoyle so I'll be able to sleep easier at night.

 **marinara:  
** is that you saying I keep you up at night?  
because you're the one that started talking to me first

 **Thani:  
** It was a terrible joke.

 **marinara:  
** I'll have you know I have a beautiful voice  
and you're missing out

 **Thani:  
** I really don't want to hear you and Nino screaming at each other.

 **marinara:  
** honestly  
that sounds like a great time  
but I don't have a mic

 **Thani:  
** Let's keep it that way.

 **marinara:  
** have you heard him?

 **Thani:  
** Yeah.  
He had a microphone before, but he spilled his drink on it.

 **marinara:  
** truly a ninny

 **Thani:  
** Pretty much.  
It was mostly just him and Alya talking, though.  
No one else could get a word in.

 **marinara:  
** I'm still betting nino will confess first

 **Thani:  
** You're wasting your time.

 **marinara:  
** someone has to believe in them  
while you're rooting for them to be useless forever

 **Thani:  
** They've been like this for over a year.  
Alya's never confessed to anyone in the past, this won't be an exception.

 **marinara:  
** fucking pessimistic

-x-  
 ** **  
group chat: wtb a brain for nino  
** marinara has joined the chat**

 **plagg:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** plagg stop  
dont do this, buddy  
you were doing so well

 **plagg:  
** i will not listen to this!

 **marinara:  
** did I come at a bad time?

 **ninny:  
** you should leave  
right now

 **plagg:  
** please don't leave me with him  
tomato please

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** nevermind  
you can stay, tomato

 **marinara:  
** I know I was missing for two days  
but I hoped I'd at least made an impression

 **plagg:  
** marinara's made with tomatoes?

 **marinara:  
** my parents aren't tomatoes

 **ninny:  
** im

 **marinara:  
** shut up, ninny  
it's just a stupid nickname  
everyone has one

 **plagg:  
** oh  
i don't?

 **marinara:  
** yeah but you're new  
need to befriend a few of us first

 **plagg:  
** with the promise of a nickname in the future?

 **ninny:  
** only bad ones allowed  
dont get your hopes up

 **marinara:  
** please just call me mari

 **plagg:  
** ok ok  
sorry if i offended you!

 **ninny:  
** mari, youve missed out on this pure child  
he almost made alya cry yesterday

 **marinara:  
** alya cries at puppies  
now what were you arguing about?

 **ninny:  
** no

 **plagg:  
** we were talking about streamers!  
do you watch any?

 **marinara:  
** oh

 **plagg:  
** nino was asking why i started playing so late  
i told him about accidentally finding a stream  
and he's being so mean!

 **marinara:  
** that's because he's an idiot  
and doesn't understand the appeal of watching someone else play

 **ninny:  
** i am right here!

 **marinara:  
** hey, dumbass

 **ninny:  
** fucking rude

 **plagg:  
** i've always loved watching others!  
i never had the time to actually play until recently  
so it's really strange being so bad

 **marinara:  
** cute

 **plagg:  
** do you know if anyone else watches?  
i tried to get my friend into it but she found it boring

 **marinara:  
** some of us do, yeah  
not all of us are haters like nino

 **plagg:  
** is that why he has no brain?

 **ninny:  
** i wont stand for this abuse  
im going to work

 **ninny has left the chat**

 **marinara:  
** nice guess but no  
he's just really dumb

 **plagg:  
** he seems so smart though  
everyone does!

 **marinara:  
** like  
don't take this the wrong way  
but you're not a kid, are you?

 **plagg:  
** huh

 **marinara:  
** it's just the vibe you're giving off?

 **plagg:  
** oh wow  
no, no! i'm not!  
i'm twenty, i promise

 **marinara:  
** what

 **plagg:  
** was i not supposed to say that?  
i'm not really sure how this all goes  
do we not give our personal info?

 **marinara:  
** it doesn't really matter  
it's not like we're ever gonna meet up or anything  
I mean  
the others don't even know my actual name?

 **plagg:  
** i know it's not tomato!

 **marinara:  
** yes, thank you for that  
I wanted to die

 **plagg:  
** is that sarcasm?

 **marinara:  
** you'll never find out, p

 **plagg:  
** p?

 **marinara:  
** I fucking shuddered  
I just wanted to give you a nickname but  
that was gross

 **plagg:  
** oh! does this mean i'm advancing to the next stage?

 **marinara:  
** you're pretty likeable

 **plagg:  
** nice

 **marinara:  
** I still feel like I'm talking to a kid

 **plagg:  
** is it because of the name?  
it's actually my cat's name  
i wanted something original since everyone has cool screennames

 **marinara:  
** if coolness to you means being your cat  
we might need to have a chat

 **plagg:  
** but i've already got a cat

 **marinara:  
** stop

 **plagg:  
** you can call me adrien  
if you want!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
that's your name?

 **plagg:  
** yes  
is it okay to call you mari?

 **marinara:  
** go for it

 **plagg:  
** ok cool  
are you busy now?

 **marinara:  
** it's almost midnight

 **plagg:  
** that's not an answer

 **marinara:  
** I'm awake

 **plagg:  
** me too  
do you wanna play?

 **marinara:  
** sure, why not  
I don't have a mic though

 **plagg:  
** i'm used to using my fingers  
i'm fine with typing!

 **marinara:  
**?

 **plagg:  
** i  
i meant i play piano

 **marinara:  
** I'm fucking dead

-x-

 **private chat: Alyarr and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** how could you not tell me how cute he is?  
like  
he's so fucking useless but it's endearing  
he's even worse than nino  
I didn't know that was possible  
he saw my level and was so excited  
I think I have an admirer

 **Alyarr:  
** mari  
it's five am

 **marinara:  
** I know  
I just stopped playing with adrien

 **Alyarr:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** plagg  
that's his real name  
he's like a little kid

 **Alyarr:  
** can you maybe  
tell me all this later?

 **marinara:  
** oh  
my bad!

-x-

 ** **group chat: wtb a brain for nino  
** marinara has joined the chat**

 **plagg:  
** leave me alone!

 **marinara:  
** who's harassing you this time

 **Thani:  
** I haven't done anything.

 **marinara:  
** that doesn't sound convincing  
adrien, watch out for this dude  
he's a tricky one

 **plagg:  
** mari!  
i was so worried about you  
are you okay

 **marinara:  
** wait what

 **plagg:  
** you've been gone all day  
i thought something happened

 **marinara:  
** because you kept me up all night?

 **Alyarr:  
** saying this in front of poor nath?  
how could you guys

 **Thani:  
** I hope your love never becomes requited, Alya.

 **marinara:  
** burn  
I've just been busy at work  
didn't anyone tell you about my weird times?

 **Alyarr:  
** he didn't ask

 **Thani:  
** He's crying because Alya insulted his favourite streamer.

 **marinara:  
** don't ruin the kid's day  
what's wrong with you, alya  
you fucking pirate

 **Alyarr:  
** kid?

 **plagg:  
** but i'm twenty

 **Alyarr:  
** oh same

 **plagg:  
** that's cool!

 **marinara:  
** what do you mean same?

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
what do you think I mean

 **marinara:  
** I thought you were older!

 **Alyarr:  
** idk if that's a compliment or not  
nath's the same age as me

 **marinara:  
**?  
how old is nino  
does anyone know?

 **Thani:  
** No.

 **marinara:  
** this is fucking shocking  
what is going on

 **Alyarr:  
** tell us about your day  
enlighten adrien why we always ask you

 **marinara:  
** my arch nemesis came in again today

 **plagg:  
** wait what?

 **marinara:  
** it's some bitchy girl  
that comes into the café and orders a milkshake  
and it always ends in disaster with her looking all superior  
while I get milkshake splattered on me

 **Alyarr:  
** I have a question

 **marinara:  
** no

 **Alyarr:  
** why not ask for a new blender?  
it's obviously not working well  
you've complained about it the whole two months I've known you

 **marinara:  
** because the owners would get upset about that  
and I don't want that

 **Thani:  
** That means you're only going to suffer instead.  
It's only a blender, Mari. I'm sure they'll replace it.

 **marinara:  
** it was a present from a dead relative of theirs  
they're never going to part with it willingly  
unless I smash it or something

 **plagg:  
** do it when there's no witnesses  
your arch enemy can't see you

 **marinara:  
** alya, your son's trying to plot with me  
is this how you raised him?

 **Alyarr:  
** he's dadless  
I'm doing my best

 **plagg:  
** when did i get adopted?

 **marinara:  
** probably minutes after you first joined  
nino's the creator but she pulls the strings

 **ninny has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** alya just won't pull his trousers strings, sadly  
so we're all suffering

 **ninny:  
** excuse me?

 **Alyarr has left the chat**

 **marinara:  
** …  
oh, come on

 **ninny:  
** do i even want to know

 **Thani:  
** Probably not.

 **plagg:  
** i am very confused

 **marinara:  
** I was just trying to get you a dad  
anyway hi nino  
how old are you?

 **ninny:  
** too old for this shit


	2. 02

**AN:** We'll get to the summary eventually. They need to actually be friends for a bit first, sorry.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: wtb a brain for nino  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** what up my friends  
I've got a cold so you're being graced with my presence  
no night job

 **plagg:  
** mari!

 **Thani:  
** Still got that headache?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
but now I sound like death so I've gotta be poor instead  
disappointing

 **Thani:  
** I'm sure you don't sound that bad.

 **plagg:  
** you're not supposed to flirt!

 **Thani:  
** That's not flirting.

 **plagg:  
** i'm not listening to your lies  
this is a platonic place!  
there is no romance allowed!

 **marinara:  
** if alya was the one to tell you that  
it's because she thinks you're a child

 **plagg:  
** i'm the oldest here

 **marinara:  
** no one's ever going to believe that

 **Thani:  
** Everyone considers you the baby.

 **plagg:  
** that's just because i'm new!

 **marinara:  
** who told you that lie?  
don't listen to them, baby

 **Thani:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** I feel gross  
let's forget I said that  
please?

 **plagg:  
** this is a no flirt zone!

 **marinara:  
** I can't flirt with you  
I'd get arrested

 **Thani:  
** Mari, are you trying to groom him?  
Stop playing with little boys online.

 **marinara:  
**!

 **plagg:  
** i'm not little

 **Thani:  
** That's exactly what a little boy would say.

 **marinara:  
** I'm regretting logging on  
it's just you two but I'm already suffering

 **plagg:  
** really i'm not  
i'm really big

 **marinara:  
** you really  
need to think twice before you send anything  
hasn't anyone taught you this?

 **plagg:  
** what?  
i got told the rules by nino before

 **marinara:  
**...and have you stuck to these rules for the past week?

 **Thani:  
** I have a feeling he'd be really happy to earn a gold star from you.

 **marinara:  
** that would require typing like you  
and my ass is fine stickless, thanks

 **plagg:  
**?  
isn't it just to play together?

 **Thani:  
** Give him his sticker for playing with you so well.

 **marinara:  
** I'm not a teacher!  
I can't even look after myself  
how can I care for this child too?

 **plagg:  
** but you are teaching me the game?  
you've helped me so much already  
even though we've only played a few times!

 **Thani:  
** You heard the kid, teacher.

 **plagg:  
** i'm older than you

 **Thani:  
** You've told us you attend university, but we've got no proof.  
Keep trying.

 **marinara:  
**?  
when did you find this out?

 **Thani:  
** In the our hours of freedom.

 **plagg:  
** when you were working!  
which is a lot  
i've barely seen you since i've joined

 **marinara:  
** oh  
you think i'm bad?  
you probably haven't even met everyone here

 **Thani:  
** Neither have you.

 **plagg:  
** yeah but  
i don't wanna spend time with them?

 **marinara:  
** this is a no-flirt zone, you monster

 **plagg:  
** i

 **Thani:  
** We're so disappointed in you.  
The rules need to be enforced.

 **plagg:  
** but i'm not flirting  
it would be really obvious if i was flirting

 **marinara:  
** oh?

 **plagg:  
** everyone says i'm bad at it  
i'm sure that would show online too!

 **marinara:  
** you sure have faith in yourself

 **Thani:  
** You haven't got a long-time friend to out you here.  
You're safe to pine in peace.

 **plagg:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** cough  
alya

 **Thani:  
** Yes, thank you, Mari.  
Name the traitor.

 **marinara:  
** it's not my fault I didn't realise you were flirting with me  
blame her!

 **plagg:  
** is this a romantic backstory?

 **Thani:  
** No.

 **marinara:  
** I've been told his face goes as red as his hair  
when alya makes fun of him

 **plagg:  
** you've shared pictures?  
should i do that too

 **Thani:  
** Again, no.

 **plagg:  
**?  
no?  
you don't show each other pictures?

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
this is the friend group where you could be in a fursuit  
and feel safe because no one will ever ask to see you

 **plagg:  
** what

 **Thani:  
** That's wrong but also right.  
A few of us have shared pictures, but Mari hasn't.

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

 **Thani:**  
We made a deal that we'd show her when she gives us one.  
But she's very reluctant, so it'll never happen.

 **plagg:  
** oh are you shy?  
it's okay your typing is cute  
your image won't be completely ruined if you're in a fursuit!

 **marinara:  
** I'm not here for this abuse!

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** I want to die.

 **marinara:  
** relatable  
what up's, buttercup?

 **Thani:  
** I hurt my wrist so I have to stop working for a few weeks.

 **marinara:  
** camboy  
that's my guess now

 **Thani:  
** I can't have a good personality and a good body.

 **marinara:  
** don't shame yourself in front of me  
I've been told you're quite the treat

 **Thani:  
** By my friend that's known me since I was twelve.

 **marinara:  
** I didn't know it was that long!  
doesn't that mean you're not gonna be up at nights with me now?

 **Thani:  
** Yeah, probably.  
I'll try and make my sleep schedule healthier for classes.

 **marinara:  
** rip  
I'll miss you

 **Thani:  
** You could try and do the same.

 **marinara:  
** that's a bad idea  
night is like  
primetime?  
I make so much more money then

 **Thani:  
** What if I think you're the camboy now?

 **marinara:  
** then I'd have one more viewer  
xo

 **Thani:  
** I regret everything again.

 **marinara:  
** my parents agree whenever they see the bags under my eyes

 **Thani:  
** Oh, no.  
Do you see them often?

 **marinara:  
** everyday, nath  
like they're supportive  
but everyone else is very judging and it's really annoying

 **Thani:  
** Mari.

 **marinara:  
** I'm going to bed  
see ya

-x-

 **group chat: wtb a brain for nino  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hello friends

 **plagg:  
** mari!

 **Alyarr:  
** hey

 **plagg:  
** i've missed you!  
it's been so long

 **marinara:  
** we spoke yesterday

 **plagg:  
** for like half an hour  
so so long

 **marinara:  
** my cold's bad enough to banish me from my day job now  
so I'm wondering whether to go to bed or not

 **Alyarr:  
** you're really not good with illness

 **plagg:  
** that's terrible!  
naps are good though would that help you?

 **marinara:  
** eh  
I don't get ill often  
but if I do it lasts forever

 **plagg:  
** do you have medicine and everything?

 **marinara:  
** I forgot to buy some  
extra suffering

 **plagg:  
** i could send you some!

 **marinara:  
** if this is just lead up  
to you doing some witchcraft chant  
maybe don't do that

 **Alyarr:  
** don't summon any demons

 **plagg:  
** no! i meant real medicine  
you can order it online right

 **marinara:  
** the thought is appreciated  
thank you

 **plagg:  
** no?

 **marinara:  
** I'm not giving out my address?

 **plagg:  
** oh  
oh right!

 **marinara:  
** the thought's sweet but no thank you?

 **plagg:  
** it's ok

 **Alyarr:  
** what are you even going to do with your day  
I swear you never have all of it off  
ever

 **marinara:  
** you've only known me two months

 **Alyarr:  
** ever!

 **marinara:  
** idk  
I might go play  
gives me something to do, I guess

 **Alyarr:  
** no talking required for that

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
definitely

 **Alyarr:  
** wanna play together?

 **marinara:  
** sure  
why not?

 **Alyarr:  
** adrien?

 **marinara:  
** might've left for a bit

 **Alyarr:  
** we'll wait five min

 **marinara:  
** he can always sign on if he wants to play?  
he'll see these messages anyway

 **Alyarr:  
** you're dead but still smarter than nino

-x-

 **group chat: wtb a brain for nino  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **ninny:  
** mari

 **Thani:  
** Hey.

 **Alyarr:  
** good timing  
help us decide

 **marinara:  
** what

 **plagg:  
** they're trying to give me a name!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
happy birthday, kiddo

 **plagg:  
** but it's not my birthday

 **marinara:  
** …  
so pure

 **Alyarr:  
** I raised him right

 **ninny:  
** we literally can't come up with anything good  
with either name  
he's cursed

 **marinara:  
** what's the best so far then

 **Thani:  
** They're terrible.

 **marinara:  
** gimme

 **plagg:  
** plague!  
but that's kinda mean  
you're already ill and i don't want to make it worse!

 **marinara:  
** yeah, you monsters  
don't give me the plague

 **Alyarr:  
** you're saying you don't want him?

 **marinara:  
** is this how it was back then  
plague-filled rats looking all cute  
and enticing?

 **plagg:  
** i can confirm i am very cute

 **Thani:  
** Definitely a rat.

 **ninny:  
** i think anyone would be fine  
with dying because of him

 **plagg:  
** i think that's the nicest thing  
anyone's ever said about me!

 **Alyarr:  
** we'll give you more compliments ok  
you just focus on not being the plague

 **plagg:  
** mari called me something else before!

 **marinara:  
** don't tell your mother i'm bullying you  
what the fuck

 **plagg:  
** what

 **Alyarr:  
** no no  
tell me all about it

 **plagg:  
** she called me p!

 **Thani:  
** You're right. That's definitely bullying.

 **Alyarr:  
** you're right about it being terrible

 **marinara:  
** I was just trying to be cute, ok?  
we were having a moment  
and he didn't have a nickname  
I tried, guys

 **Alyarr:  
** having moments with my son  
when he's supposed to be in bed?

 **plagg:  
** i always stay up past my bedtime though!

 **Thani:  
** That's really not a good response.

 **marinara:  
** I can't tell if he's serious or not  
and that scares me

 **plagg:  
** i used to have a designated bedtime  
until i quit  
now i have all the free time in the world

 **Alyarr:  
** other than your classes

 **marinara:  
**?  
you never told me you have classes?

 **plagg:  
** because i thought you'd tell me to go to bed!  
it ok i liked staying up with you  
it was worth the yawns

 **Thani:  
** Mari, everyone but you has classes here.  
Are you really that surprised?

 **marinara:  
** way to make me sound like a deadbeat  
what the fuck

 **Thani:  
** None of us have two jobs.  
Are you saving up for university or anything?

 **Alyarr:  
** you know she's not going to answer that dude  
she won't even tell us how old she is

 **marinara:  
** is it really that big of a deal?  
I'm an ageless and sexless being  
I can be anything you want

 **Alyarr:  
** sounds like the start of a kinky roleplay

 **plagg:  
** that sounds so mysterious!  
but you're a girl  
aren't you?

 **marinara:  
** I don't know  
am I

 **Thani:  
** You are.

 **marinara:  
** I clearly didn't start this roleplay soon enough

 **plagg:  
** is roleplaying something you guys do often here?  
i heard someone on mic trying to be their character yesterday  
it was kinda scary

 **marinara:  
** don't you worry, pboy  
we're into not using our mics

 **Alyarr:  
** there's no sexy roleplaying here whatsoever

 **Thani:  
** Or the non-sexy kind, sorry.

 **plagg:  
** is pboy my name  
it sounds like i'm gonna start rapping

 **Alyarr:  
** if that's your rapper name you might want to rethink it

 **plagg:  
** why!  
i'm used to performing with my real name  
let me have this

 **Thani:  
** Performing?

 **marinara:  
** I feel like I know more about him  
than everyone else combined

 **Alyarr:  
** pboy you're very open

 **plagg:  
** i've changed my mind **  
**i don't want that name

 **Thani:  
** We can't do much with your real name, sadly.

 **marinara:  
** stop being salty because i called you a vagina

 **Thani:  
** You really didn't need to get Thani from Nathaniel.

 **marinara:  
** I don't really need to do anything  
but causing you to suffer is my favourite hobby

 **plagg:  
** no flirt zone!

 **Alyarr:  
** skljgdh  
honey they're not flirting

 **plagg:  
**?  
are we not reading the same chat

 **marinara:  
** let's go back to the real reason I'm here  
to ruin adrien's life next

 **plagg:  
** but i like you in my life?

 **Alyarr:  
** somehow  
I just want him to have a nice name

 **ninny:  
** i afk for like ten minutes  
and this is what happens

 **marinara:  
** sorry for showing mercy

 **Thani:  
** I can't even think of anything good for Adrien.

 **plagg:  
** if it helps  
my friend calls me adrikins when i annoy her  
or when she wants to embarrass me

 **ninny:  
** …  
itll do as a placeholder

 **marinara:  
** now you'll be cool on your own  
instead of being your cat

 **Alyarr:  
** can we maybe change the no pics rule  
so I can see his cat?

 **plagg:  
** he's a little brat!

 **Thani:  
** So are you.

 **ninny:  
** dont be jealous  
just because you dont get any pussy

 **marinara:  
** mine specifically

 **Thani:  
** I need new friends.

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** hey are you feeling better?  
i noticed you weren't on this afternoon  
so you were either sleeping  
or at work!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
yeah, I went back to work  
but I was in the back instead of making drinks up front

 **adrikins:  
** where do you work?

 **marinara:  
** a café  
well it's supposed to be that?  
it's more like a bakery with a few tables

 **adrikins:  
** that means it smells nice right

 **marinara:  
** sure  
you wanna sniff me?

 **adrikins:  
** is this a no flirt zone as well

 **marinara:  
** alya's not here to enforce it  
specifically just for you  
anyway what's up

 **adrikins:  
** nothing!  
i just wanted to see how you're feeling  
since you're barely online

 **marinara:  
** yeah, sorry about that  
I'm not really the most active here

 **adrikins:  
** i admit i have too much time now  
so i don't really know what i'm doing

 **marinara:  
** for real, I'm fine  
just sneezing a lot now

 **adrikins:  
** bless you

 **marinara:  
** thanks, adrikins

 **adrikins:  
** i regret saying this name!

 **marinara:  
** too late, buddy  
what made you stop performing?  
don't answer if it makes you uncomfortable  
you don't have to tell me

 **adrikins:  
** oh no! it's fine  
i just got fed up with it?  
i'm studying it as well but i just  
cancelled the performances

 **marinara:  
** still doing the ones needed for your classes?  
you won't fail right

 **adrikins:  
** oh no i'll be fine!  
just not entering competitions and stuff  
i'm done with that

 **marinara:  
** asking if you're any good is kinda useless right

 **adrikins:  
** i could show you my medals!

 **marinara:  
** and you actually mean medals  
don't you?

 **adrikins:  
** that's weird  
what else would i mean?

 **marinara:  
** don't change

 **adrikins:  
** mari **  
**we're friends right?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
you've been gifted the bad nickname  
you're stuck with us now

 **adrikins:  
** i meant me and you!

 **marinara:  
** that should be obvious  
yeah, we are

 **adrikins:  
** can i know your name?

 **marinara:  
** you still remember that?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
i asked the others when you were working  
and they said it's true

 **marinara:  
** starting to sound like a stalker

 **adrikins:  
** no no  
i just want to know you!

 **marinara:  
** you do though?

 **adrikins:  
** i could tell you my full name in exchange?

 **marinara:  
** no, don't do that  
I don't want that

 **adrikins:  
** no?

 **marinara:  
** no!  
I like how anonymous this is?  
It's pretty freeing when no one knows me

 **adrikins:  
** but you just said i knew you  
i'm getting mixed signals

 **marinara:  
** not like that  
just  
ugh

 **adrikins:  
** am i making you uncomfortable?  
i'm sorry

 **marinara:  
** no no  
some people just tend to recognise me?  
but it's not like giving you my name  
will change anything

 **adrikins:  
**!  
does that mean you'll tell me?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, sure  
just don't tell the others  
let them suffer

 **adrikins:  
** absolutely!

 **marinara:  
** it's marinette

 **adrikins:  
** is that why you're marinara?

 **marinara:  
** well it was this or marijuana  
you can see which is best

-x-

 **group chat: wtb a brain for nino  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **ninny:  
** adrien  
i love you dude, but i really dont care  
please

 **Thani:  
** Don't be so mean to the baby.

 **marinara:  
** don't be mean  
I'll fight you

 **ninny:  
** go away mari

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** yes, hello  
what's going on here

 **adrikins:  
** nino just called my favourite streamer lucky trash

 **Thani:  
** He did a lot more than that, but yes.

 **marinara:  
** at least he didn't accuse them of hacking  
right?

 **ninny:  
** leave me alone!  
i learned my lesson

 **marinara:  
** yeah because I spawncamped you  
then you decided to befriend me

 **adrikins:  
** he's so mean!

 **marinara:  
** why are you ruining his life  
what did adrien ever do to you, ninny?

 **ninny:  
** he became alyas son

 **marinara:  
** that's a terrible reason for abuse  
shouldn't you be bribing him  
to get an in with his mom

 **adrikins:  
** he's so mean whenever i bring her up!

 **Thani:  
** It's a knee-jerk reaction from hearing Mari fangirl.

 **marinara:  
** who what

 **adrikins:  
** you fangirl?  
that means you like something right?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
who we on about  
who's the lucky trash?

 **adrikins:  
** ladybug!

 **ninny:  
** please no

 **marinara:  
**!  
hell yeah  
I love her

 **adrikins:  
** she got rank one earlier!  
i was so excited

 **marinara:  
** yes!  
I was watching that  
she did really well

 **ninny:  
** stop

 **adrikins:  
** she's my favourite!

 **marinara:  
** is she the one that got you  
into the game?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
i really like her dumb jokes  
honestly i stayed watching for them at first

 **marinara:  
** some people here  
don't appreciate them

 **Thani:  
** Some people just don't like watching streams.

 **marinara:  
** I'm looking at nino here.

 **ninny:  
** keep your bad decisions away from me  
i dont need to watch someone constantly better than me  
thats terrible for morale

 **adrikins:  
** but she always gives tips!  
between her and marinette i'm really learning a lot

 **Thani:  
** Marinette?

 **ninny:  
** marinette?

 **marinara:  
**...

 **adrikins:  
** please ignore that  
i'm a bad bad boy

 **ninny:  
** im screenshotting all of this  
alya will never believe me

 **Thani:  
** I can't beleibe you'd tell him but not us.

 **marinara:  
** beleibe

 **ninny:  
** beleibe

 **Thani:  
** No!

 **adrikins:  
** beleibe?

 **Thani:  
** Even the new guy's teaming up on me.

 **adrikins:  
** was i not supposed to?

 **group chat: wtb a brain for nino is now group chat: beleibe**

 **Thani:  
** This is betrayal.

 **marinara:  
** let's focus on your bad spelling  
instead of my name  
forever

 **ninny:  
** no way  
how did he get it out of you  
what did he bribe you with?

 **adrikins:  
** bribing is bad  
i'd never do that

 **marinara:  
** honestly  
he just told me so much I felt bad  
gotta try and make it a little even

 **adrikins:  
** sharing is caring right?

 **ninny:  
** maybe dont share so much  
we could be murderers

 **adrikins:  
** but if i befriend you  
that means i'm safe?

 **Thani:  
** Only if you're nice and don't mock typos.

 **marinara:  
** nath straight up threatening you  
watch out

 **adrikins:  
** mari  
your boyfriend is scary

 **marinara:  
** my boyfriend?

 **ninny:  
** akldgjdfhd

 **Thani:  
**?

 **adrikins:  
** aren't you dating?

 **marinara:  
** no!

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
are you sure?

 **ninny:  
** im cry

 **Thani:  
** Really sure, Adrien. Really sure.

 **marinara:  
** there's more of a chance of nino  
finally confessing his love for alya

 **ninny:  
** please dont bring me into this  
I cant beleibe whats going on

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sorry!  
i really thought you were  
and that's why the no flirt thing is there!

 **Thani:  
** That rule doesn't exist.  
Alya was just messing with you.

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
now i really feel silly


	3. 03

**AN:** I thought it was really obvious that Marinette's Ladybug but some are questioning it? I'm sorry for not being super clear. Anyway, here's an introducion to two new characters, even though only one appears.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: beleibe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Thani:  
** And look who the cat dragged in.

 **marinara:  
** I'm very close to murdering someone  
my neighbour just bought a dog

 **adrikins:  
** puppy!

 **marinara:  
** devil  
loud devil

 **Thani:  
** Shouldn't you be overjoyed that you live near an animal?  
I remember you moaning that you've never had a pet.

 **ninny:  
** thats just because shes jealous of plagg  
the actual plagg  
the living breathing plagg  
who i can confirm is very adorable

 **marinara:  
**?  
when have you been sharing pictures

 **Thani:  
** Marinette, we do it whenever you aren't here.  
You really didn't think the whole no picture rule was real, did you?

 **marinara:  
** it clearly is real if you're avoiding show me them  
what the fuck

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: black-coloured cat curled up on a pillow)_

 **Alyarr:  
** oop  
you're not supposed to do that son

 **adrikins:  
** but she wanted to see

 **marinara:  
** asdlgkddh?  
look at him  
why have you held this from me for so long

 **ninny:  
** shes wanted to see a lot more and weve all said no  
you weakling

 **Thani:  
** Honestly, I'm surprised he's lasted this long.  
Thank you for keeping your cat a secret until now, Adrien.

 **adrikins:  
** you're welcome?  
but it really should've been clearer  
that the rules aren't actually real!

 **ninny:  
** i thought we were pretty clear

 **Alyarr:  
** crystal clear  
flirting makes us all vomit  
so that's why it's banned here

 **Thani:  
** You're just saying that so Nino will private message you.

 **ninny:  
** …

 **Alyarr:  
** nath  
I know where you live

 **Thani:  
** I should hope so, you were here yesterday.

 **ninny:  
** like  
id totally talk to you elsewhere  
if you ever want to

 **marinara:  
** neither of you are subtle

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
why would I want that  
we've known each other two years

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
but do you know each other in private

 **Alyarr:  
** I know more about him than you mari  
I mean  
than I know about you

 **marinara:  
** honestly  
both meanings are right  
I don't know any of you and that's fine

 **ninny:  
** mari  
not to be blunt or anything  
but youre giving off major serial killer vibes

 **adrikins:  
** but she likes us so we're fine  
we've been over this!

 **Thani:  
** Is this your way of trying to ask us to tell you things, Mari?

 **adrikins:  
** i can show you my cat again  
if you want

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah mari  
marinette  
let him show you his cat

 **adrikins:  
** that's something i'm good at!

 **marinara:  
** what  
no no  
I like you guys as faceless beings

 **Thani:  
** So the only one who deserves a face in your mind is Plagg?

 **marinara:  
** you're a red blob  
you're welcome

 **ninny:  
** for real though  
its a bit weird that youre so private?

 **marinara:  
** I'm the only one who listened to the internet safety talk  
I beat nath at that class

 **Thani:  
** I've never been the top of my class.

 **Alyarr:  
** fake but ok

 **adrikins:  
** i've read a few stories about  
dating online and what happens!  
i completely understand why you didn't want to give out your address

 **marinara:  
** thank you for understanding?

 **Thani:  
** Honestly, if I didn't know your sleeping schedule, I'd think you were a kid.

 **ninny:  
** what about a big kid  
she could be in school still

 **Alyarr:  
** that's true  
we don't know what you do outside of the café

 **marinara:  
** of which I'm never telling you the address of either  
private life is private thank you

 **adrikins:  
** i live in paris

 **ninny:  
** yo dude!  
same here what are the odds

 **Thani:  
** That was really abrupt.

 **ninny:  
** alya and nath live like two hours away

 **Alyarr:  
** you still remember that?  
fuck we haven't talked about that for months

 **ninny:  
** yeah, of course  
it was really cool when you told me

 **Thani:  
** She thought it was cool, too.

 **Alyarr:  
** nath pls  
I really don't need a wingman

 **ninny:  
** does that mean you really do want me to message you

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
I never said you couldn't

 **ninny:  
** yeah but  
you never want to play with me

 **Alyarr:  
** I'd rather talk than watch you die a thousand times  
is that so hard to believe

 **ninny:  
** but maybe I wouldnt die if you healed me

 **marinara:  
** and that's any chance of romance ruined  
clap clap

 **adrikins:  
** i do not know what to think here

 **Thani:  
** I think you should send another cat picture.

 **adrikins:  
** i can do that!  
 _(image: plagg on his back on the bed, paws in the air)_

 **marinara:  
** majestic creature

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** you always have such good timing!  
i just wondered what to do  
and your name popped up  
it's a sign!

 **marinara:  
** a sign that I'm awake  
what up

 **adrikins:  
** are you up for long?  
i don't have any classes tomorrow

 **marinara:  
** is that your way of asking me to play with you

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
i've missed spending time with you

 **marinara:  
** try and phrase it  
less like I'm a pedo

 **adrikins:  
** but what if you're a child  
with two jobs

 **marinara:  
** that's illegal

 **adrikins:  
** so is being a pedo!

 **marinara:  
** …  
dog is barking so I'm up until I fall asleep on my keyboard

 **adrikins:  
**!  
that is the best thing i've heard all day

 **marinara:  
** my ego is satisfied  
we'll start on that new character  
you mentioned wanting to learn last time

 **adrikins:  
** you remembered!

 **marinara:  
** yeah of course  
gotta train you to be ladybug the second

 **adrikins:  
** i'd be happy just to be murdered by her  
but that means i have to get to her skill level!

 **marinara:  
** a noble goal in life  
I wish she'd kill me too

 **adrikins:  
** someday!

-x-

 **group chat: beleibe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
please please tell me you were watching

 **marinara:  
** be more specific

 **ninny:  
** dont even pretend you dont know  
hes been spamming screenshots  
until like half an hour ago

 **marinara:  
** how are you still alive then

 **Thani:  
** Alya was here until the end.

 **marinara:  
** oh, I missed her?

 **ninny:  
** first of all  
fuck off, thani  
and yeah she left like five minutes ago

 **adrikins:  
** she stayed up with me!

 **Thani:  
** Don't even pretend you don't know what we're on about.

 **marinara:  
** but I don't  
gimme the gossip

 **ninny has left the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** oh no  
i didn't get to say bye!

 **Thani:  
** It's a miracle he stayed up this late.

 **marinara:  
** yeah it's usually just me and you  
now adrien, I guess  
that's a weird change

 **adrikins:  
** you don't have to include me  
it's okay

 **marinara:  
** yeah, we do  
now what did you wanna tell me?

 **Thani:  
** Marinette.

 **marinara:  
** you saying my full name  
is fucking terrifying

 **adrikins:  
** did you watch ladybug's stream?

 **marinara:  
** hell yeah  
we're truly blessed

 **adrikins:  
** i can't believe i was here to see her face reveal!  
idk i just thought she'd never do it  
or something  
since she's been playing so long?

 **marinara:  
** well the game's been out two years

 **adrikins:  
** and i'm only just here!

 **Thani:  
** If you're going to gush about Ladybug here...  
I'd like to remind you of something, Mari.

 **marinara:  
** can you not

 **adrikins:  
** nath you know so many secrets?  
it is okay for me to call you nath right  
i don't want to be rude!

 **Thani:  
** It's fine, Adrien.  
I have screenshots of her drunkenly fangirling.

 **marinara:**  
within the same conversation where I rejected you  
right  
do you really want to relive that

 **Thani:  
** My feelings are steel now, nothing can hurt me.

 **adrikins:  
** i can't tell whether this is serious or not  
i'm really sorry for thinking you're dating!  
but this is very misleading!

 **marinara:  
** sweet child  
it's okay

 **Thani:  
** We're over it, it's okay.  
I'm not going to start crying.  
Yes, Marinette, I'm telling the truth.

 **marinara:  
** if you say so  
anyway  
what was nino's reaction to ladybug  
I must know

 **adrikins:  
** he just kept telling me to stop!

 **Thani:  
** And yet, he stayed because of Alya.  
Truly a miracle.

 **marinara:  
** nice  
his hate for streamers fuels me

 **adrikins:  
** what's up with that?

 **marinara:  
** oh  
I'm not the best person to tell that  
beautiful story  
the best tragic backstory anyone could ever have

 **adrikins:  
** i'm very hyped!

 **Thani:  
** It was a dark and rainy night.  
A man was sat at his computer.

 **marinara:  
** nino has a laptop  
get the details right  
it's why he says he's so bad at playing  
come on, nath

 **Thani:  
** Fuck off.

 **marinara:  
** xo

 **adrikins:  
** is this a bedtime story

 **marinara:  
** yeah, sure  
get into bed with you

 **adrikins:  
** i'm already there!  
i was watching in bed to be comfy

 **marinara:  
** did you make a fucking nest

 **adrikins:  
** it is my fortress!

 **Thani:  
** Okay, kiddo.  
Basically, some streamer made fun of him years ago.  
It was before we knew each other.

 **marinara:  
** a hatred that's lasted for years  
you'll never cure him of it

 **Thani:  
** The clip went viral and a lot of people made fun of him.  
He deleted his account after he kept getting friend requests.

 **marinara:  
** salty for life  
it was pretty mean though  
I remember the clip

 **adrikins:  
** you remember it after years?

 **marinara:  
** like  
roughly  
not every single detail

 **Thani:  
** That was your bedtime story.

 **adrikins:  
** pls don't make me sleep

 **marinara:  
** you're a terrible child  
listen to your  
idk  
uncle

 **Thani:  
** I am not Uncle Nath.

 **marinara:  
** he could be the uncle with the weird goatee  
we just don't know  
what does he look like?  
it's a mystery

 **adrikins:  
** but i've seen him!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
oh right  
I forgot you're all fucking  
traitors!

 **Thani:  
** That can be easily remedied, you monster.

 **marinara:  
** fight me

 **adrikins:  
** i could describe everyone to you!

 **Thani:  
** No.  
You really shouldn't do that, Adrien.  
We're waiting it out.

 **adrikins:  
** but i know better now  
the rules aren't real!  
there are no rules!

 **marinara:  
** imagining you cackling like a villain right now  
maybe some thunder too  
is this your dramatic backstory to you turning evil?

 **adrikins:  
** if evil is being nice to you  
then yes!

 **marinara:  
** sweet

 **Thani:  
** You're both terrible.

 **adrikins:  
** he had a picture with a goatee!

 **Thani:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** a red blob with a goatee only  
what a beautiful person you are, nath

 **adrikins:  
** then he shaved it off!  
and looked younger  
it was like an illusion

 **marinara:  
** that is some magic  
tell me more about nath's body hair

 **Thani:  
** I think that's my cue to leave.

 **marinara:  
** I'll miss you, moustache man

 **Thani has left the chat**

 **marinara:  
** and then there were two

 **adrikins:  
** three!  
plagg's in bed with me

 **marinara:  
** extremely jealous  
but I'm gonna try and sleep

 **adrikins:  
** see you!

 **marinara:  
** I wanna know all the secrets you've learned  
please tell me them tomorrow

 **adrikins:  
** so you'll be on tomorrow?

 **marinara:  
** yeah for a bit in the evening

 **adrikins:  
** have a good day!

 **marinara:  
** don't roll on your cat

-x-

 **group chat: beleibe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **ninny:  
** oh no

 **marinara:  
** oh yes  
I've come with great news

 **Alyarr:  
** you killed your arch nemesis?

 **marinara:  
** I wish  
no, I haven't seen her for a while  
fingers crossed she got hit by a car

 **adrikins:  
** mari! that's so mean!

 **marinara:  
** bumped by a car  
gently  
enough to bruise

 **adrikins:  
** bruises hurt!

 **marinara:  
** so does your judgement  
stop it

 **ninny:  
** whats the news?

 **marinara:  
** it's more of a question  
a genuine one

 **adrikins:  
** we are a very knowledgeable lot!

 **Alyarr:  
** it doesn't even sound true when adrien says it

 **marinara:  
** adrien's our mascot  
our best member

 **ninny:  
** stop grooming our children

 **Alyarr:  
** our? child?

 **ninny:  
** he needs a dad right

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah but you just want a healer  
what makes you think you can worm your way in here?

 **adrikins:  
** i do have a dad tho!

 **ninny:  
** who else would be his dad  
nath?

 **Alyarr:  
** maybe his dad's away for work  
in the army for months  
I'm working as a single mom for now

 **adrikins:  
** but

 **marinara:  
** you two either have to be married  
or nino can't be the dad  
don't give the poor kid an absent dad

 **Alyarr:  
** maybe I'll start taking applications  
and review them

 **adrikins:  
** can anyone enter?

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm not going to find you a dad in soloqueue

 **marinara:  
** let nino submit his cv

 **ninny:  
** let mari ask her question

 **marinara:  
** great timing then  
if you two kissed with your glasses  
do they like  
clash?

 **Alyarr:  
** aslfksgjkg

 **adrikins:  
** what if it's like in a film  
and there's a romantic noise!

 **marinara:  
** a noise of pain

 **adrikins:  
** that's not the film i meant!

 **ninny:  
** im not even going to reply to that

 **marinara:  
** is that a yes?  
I think it is  
don't you, adrien?

 **adrikins:  
** i don't understand anything  
please don't look at me

 **marinara:  
** I'm a mysterious being  
I don't have eyes that need glasses

 **ninny:  
** why do you know this

 **Alyarr:  
** I doubt it was nath  
that means I need to disown my own son

 **adrikins:  
** she's taught me more than you!

 **ninny:  
** the betrayal

 **adrikins:  
** there are no rules to be followed!

 **marinara:  
** I know everything  
I have an unlimited source of power  
in the form of what might really be a child

 **adrikins:  
** but i think you're the child  
an illegal one  
working away

 **Alyarr:  
** I don't like you two talking  
it brings out the worst in you both

 **ninny:  
** hey, alya

 **Alyarr:  
**?

 **ninny:  
** do you wanna get married and have no children

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah, sure  
that sounds good right about now

 **marinara:  
**!

 **adrikins:  
** oh!  
wait  
that means you want to kill me  
doesn't it

 **marinara:  
** it means they don't want you to exist  
you must delete yourself

 **ninny:  
** or you two could go away for a bit

 **marinara:  
**?  
there's something called private chat  
fuck off

 **Alyarr:  
** he hasn't used that yet

 **adrikins:  
** yet!

 **ninny:  
** this is a lot of pressure  
on my broad shoulders

 **Alyarr:  
** did you really have to specify

 **ninny:  
** did i not

 **marinara:  
** I'm screenshotting this for nath

 **ninny:  
** farewell  
im going to go sleep forever

-x-

 **private chat: Alyarr and marinara**

 **Alyarr:  
** I don't want to say thank you  
but I should  
just don't mention this elsewhere

 **marinara:  
** yeah, sure  
I'll keep your secrets

 **Alyarr:  
** nino's asking to meet up

 **marinara:  
** that  
came out of nowhere?  
what the fuck

 **Alyarr:  
** pms doing good  
he actually has my number now  
two years and he's just fucking asked for it

 **marinara:  
** you could've always done it instead?  
I just got here so I dunno what the real deal is  
but like  
you've known each other two fucking years

 **Alyarr:  
** idk  
fuck knows what's going on  
don't tell nath tho otherwise he'll turn up for the date  
I'm not even kidding

 **marinara:  
** no goatees for the third wheel  
got it

 **Alyarr:  
** thank you

 **marinara:  
** I'm not saying I'll lie for you  
don't get me wrong  
I'm happy you're gonna go on a date with nino  
but I'm probably closest to nath here than anyone else?

 **Alyarr:  
** snake  
yeah it's fine  
I'll tell him myself  
the day before or something

 **marinara:  
** good luck with that  
and the flirting  
proud of you

 **Alyarr:  
** what a rare thing that is

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

-x-

 **group chat: beleibe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Thani:  
** Really?

 **marinara:  
**?  
what going on

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **leks:  
** yo

 **Alyarr:  
**!  
mari meet juleka

 **marinara:  
** oh, hey  
I've heard about you

 **leks:  
** that sounds weird  
why are u telling people about me

 **Alyarr:  
** maybe because you ditched us for months?

 **leks:  
** i was busy

 **adrikins:  
** i got to meet her before you mari!

 **marinara:  
** I don't have a medal to give you  
just know that you're a shining star  
in my eyes

 **adrikins:  
** but you don't have eyes

 **leks:  
** what

 **Alyarr:  
** ignore them  
anyway you met our newest bean adrien  
that loser is marinette

 **leks:  
** yo

 **marinara:  
** hi

 **leks:  
** what's going on

 **marinara:  
** idk  
I just got here

 **leks:  
** ok bit rude

 **marinara:  
** oh  
my bad  
not much I burnt my hand today  
you?

 **leks:  
** i hurt my ankle  
so i'm taking time off

 **Alyarr:  
** it's not too serious is it?

 **leks:  
** nah  
i'll get back to dancing soon it's fine  
i'm just bored  
so i thought i'd come here and talk to you guys

 **adrikins:  
** dancing?

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck juleka

 **leks:  
**?  
do i know u  
what did i do

 **marinara:  
**!  
what did you do  
what did you do!

 **leks:  
**?

 **marinara:  
** is your girlfriend called rose

 **leks:  
** yes  
why

 **marinara:  
** i'm marinette

 **leks:  
** oh  
what are u doing here mari

 **marinara:  
** wondering the fucking same for you?  
do you know these people

 **leks:  
** they're friends

 **marinara:  
** please be more specific

 **leks:  
** not irl if that's what u mean  
but i've known them like a year  
how are u here

 **marinara:  
** …  
i made a new account online

 **leks:  
** yeah that much was obvious  
please be more specific

 **marinara:  
** stop being a brat  
idk I met them while levelling my new account  
then I decided to keep it separate

 **leks:  
** from the stream  
?

 **marinara:  
** yeah

 **leks:  
** does that mean luka doesn't know

 **marinara:  
** that I have other friends?  
of course he does what the fuck

 **leks:  
** so no showing him up  
fine  
what u want tho

 **marinara:  
** don't tell them you know me

 **leks:  
** is that all

 **marinara:  
** or the stream thing  
please

 **leks:  
** ok

-x-

 **group chat: beleibe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** sorry missclick

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
that's not even believable

 **marinara:  
** sorry, I'm blind now  
don't know what you just said

 **Thani:  
** I'm sure.

 **marinara:  
** all I can see is darkness

 **adrikins:  
** welcome back mari!  
i thought you died or something

 **marinara:  
** the assassin was unsuccessful  
tragic  
hi adrien

 **Alyarr:  
** …

 **leks:  
** hey

 **Thani:  
** Hello.

 **leks:**  
i know ladybug irl  
heard there's some fans here

 **adrikins:  
** really?

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** i have a picture  
 _(image: girl with dark-coloured hair caught mid-sneeze)_

 **Alyarr:  
**?

 **Thani:  
** That's definitely a little convincing.

 **adrikins:  
** that's actually her!  
is she as nice as she is on stream?

 **leks:  
** yeah  
she sends me cake when i'm sad  
and i'm so sad right now

 **marinara:  
** wow you must be such a great friend!

 **leks:  
** the best


	4. 04

**AN:** These chapters are just a build up from when I've been at work, by the way. I've got about 20k worth of it so far and just posting them while working on requests.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: beleibe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** fucking end me

 **leks:  
** why

 **marinara:  
** wow you're really here a lot  
what a surprise  
yes, hello

 **leks:  
** gotta make up for lost time  
u know  
the usual

 **Thani:  
** Hey, Mari.  
How was work?

 **marinara:  
** my arch enemy came back  
and ordered two milkshakes  
two

 **leks:  
** is this a thing  
because it sounds like a thing

 **marinara:  
** it's a thing  
I don't like it but it's a thing

 **Thani:  
** Apparently, it's been going on for months.  
Two milkshakes is a really big deal.

 **marinara:  
** the second wasn't for her  
but it was still an outrageous flavour

 **leks:  
** wow mari  
u have an interesting life

 **marinara:  
** we can't all have streamers for friends  
please don't be mean to me

 **leks:  
** no need to be jealous

 **Thani:  
** We've all been noticing the jealousy here.

 **marinara:  
** it's been a long week  
leave me alone

 **leks:  
** but u seem fun

 **marinara:  
** I'm really not fun  
you don't want to know me  
not at all

 **leks:  
** mm

 **Thani:  
** Please, tell us more of the story.  
Two milkshakes?

 **marinara:  
** they were takeaway  
so I didn't have to stare at her from the limited tables

 **Thani:  
** That sounds like good news, for once.  
Why is this a bad story?

 **marinara:  
** facing the wrath of the blender twice  
no really I just have a blister  
it hurts

 **leks:  
** oh i know that feeling  
rip

 **Thani:  
** You still don't work weekends, right?

 **marinara:  
** not for that job  
night one yeah

 **leks:  
** what's ur night job

 **marinara:  
** it's a secret

 **Thani:  
** She won't tell any of us.

 **marinara:  
** you won't tell me yours!

 **leks:  
**?  
what do u mean he won't tell u

 **marinara:  
** exactly what I just said

 **leks:  
**?  
dude's an artist

 **Thani:  
** Juleka, please.

 **leks:  
** i go for a few months  
and everyone has secrets?

 **Thani:  
** Only because Mari's so secretive herself.  
It's an even trade.

 **marinara:  
** life's not fair  
tell me more, juleka

 **leks:  
** what's in it for me

 **marinara:  
** what do you want

 **Thani:  
** You really shouldn't be bonding.

 **leks:  
** play ranked with me

 **marinara:  
** …  
you don't even play this game

 **leks:  
** ye i do  
how else would i have met nino?

 **marinara:  
** what

 **leks:  
** this is my secret identity  
and i've heard ur pretty good

 **marinara:  
**?  
you just want me to play with you

 **Thani:  
** Juleka, you haven't logged on the game for four months.

 **leks:  
** ok ok  
no i'm good i don't want anything

 **marinara:  
** that was a quick turn

 **leks:  
** nath does art commissions  
my brother's used him before

 **Thani:  
** What?

 **marinara:  
** what

 **Thani:  
** I didn't know you have a brother?

 **leks:  
** ye he's how i know ladybug

 **marinara:  
** so are you the annoying sibling

 **leks:  
** no i'm cute  
anyway nath's good if u want anything  
including nsfw art

 **Thani:  
** I regret telling you anything.

 **marinara:  
** what did your brother ask for?

 **leks:  
** emotes for his stream

 **Thani:  
** That's not very specific, I do that for a lot of people.  
And no one's ever mentioned you.

 **leks:  
** ya because why would he  
not like it would get him a discount

 **Thani:  
** It probably would've, honestly.

 **leks:  
** oh  
i'll tell him that for the future

 **marinara:  
** I can't believe I never guessed that

 **Thani:  
** I did say my wrist hurt before.

 **marinara:  
** yeah, but I wanted you to be a camboy  
sadness

 **Thani:  
** Does that mean you'll tell us what you do?  
It seems only fair.

 **marinara:  
** it's on the internet  
that's all I'll say

 **leks:  
** thrilling job  
must be hard work

 **Thani:  
** So mean.

 **leks:  
** maybe she's shy  
i'm shy

 **Thani:  
** You say that but it doesn't really come across online.

 **leks:  
** i'm bad irl

 **marinara:  
** you should seem really blunt online  
I mean  
from what I've seen so far

 **leks:  
** maybe i should come back more often  
if ur here to spy on me

 **marinara:  
** it's not spying if you're aware I'm here

 **leks:  
** mm

 **adrikins has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** hello!

 **leks:  
** yo

 **marinara:  
** adrien!

 **Thani:  
** Hey, Adrien.

 **adrikins:  
** my classes were so boring  
but now i'm free!

 **leks:  
** did u also know nath does art commissions

 **adrikins:  
** oh wow!  
does he really?

 **Thani:  
** Yes, and we still don't know what Marinette does.  
That's all you've missed.

 **leks:  
** no my brother is also friends with ladybug  
u missed that too

 **adrikins:  
** i am very jealous of your brother!

 **leks:  
** u shouldn't be  
he's a giant dork

 **adrikins:  
** i am also a giant dork!

 **marinara:  
** I can confirm that

 **leks:  
** do u want another picture fanboy

 **adrikins:  
** my name is adrien but yes!

 **marinara:  
** why

 **leks:  
** i'm a giving person  
 _(image: ladybug staring cross-eyed at camera)_

 **adrikins:  
** quality content!

 **Thani:  
** I'm just surprised you never told us all this before.  
And about your brother.

 **leks:  
** didn't really see the point  
but it seems to make fanboy happy

 **marinara:  
** yes, that's definitely it

 **leks:  
** i am a good person

 **Thani:  
** If you say so, Juleka.

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **leks:  
** ur probably freaking out  
stop

 **marinara:  
** why are you doing this to me  
we're friends

 **leks:  
** ye i'm just teasing  
i'm not gonna out u  
calm down

 **marinara:  
** calm down?  
is this revenge for your birthday present

 **leks:  
** sure  
it's just me having fun  
i'll be busy again soon anyway

 **marinara:  
** this is the worst fun  
this isn't fun  
I'm going to have a heartattack

 **leks:  
** well if u didn't do that face reveal  
i wouldn't have this leverage

 **marinara:  
** so it's leverage now!  
I'm not sending another free cake  
you're only allowed one

 **leks:  
** it was a really good cake  
anyway ur invited to dinner tomorrow

 **marinara:  
** …  
thanks for the invite

 **leks:  
** u have to accept

 **marinara:  
** I will just so I can glare at you  
while eating slowly

 **leks:  
** that's very specific  
can i take a picture

 **marinara:  
** to post in group chat?  
fine

 **leks:  
** maybe i'll start a ladybug fan account  
and just post pics of u everywhere

 **marinara:  
** no please  
the day someone finds me at work  
is the day I kill myself

 **leks:  
** why  
the apron's cute on u

 **marinara:  
** I'll tell your brother you're bullying me

 **leks:  
** that means telling him i'm here  
and he'll be jealous of missing out

 **marinara:  
** fuck

-x-

 **group chat: beleibe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hey

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!  
mari you're here!

 **marinara:  
** yeah, hey  
what's going on

 **Thani:  
** He's just a bit excitable.  
Like a puppy.

 **marinara:  
** why

 **Alyarr:  
** juleka just left after blessing us with pictures  
really weird ones  
now we know who her brother is at least

 **marinara:  
** oh  
she showed that?

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: ladybug chewing while glaring at camera)_

 **Thani:  
** He plays with Ladybug a lot, apparently.

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: ladybug elbowing a boy with dark-coloured hair)_

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
ladybug's cute as heck so really are blessed  
second  
did you save them adrien

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: ladybug and juleka's brother laughing)  
_ of course i did  
that's a silly question!

 **Thani:  
** It's still a bit weird.

 **Alyarr:  
** that juleka has magical connections  
that we never knew about?  
absolutely

 **marinara:  
** to be fair  
why would she tell you

 **Alyarr:**

don't come at me with your logic  
I'll fight you

 **marinara:  
** save the one on one action for nino

 **Alyarr:  
** I can spare you a kick

 **adrikins:  
** i imagine it's weird for her!  
i get recognised sometimes and that's so odd  
so imagine your friend getting recognised!  
even weirder

 **marinara:  
** you get recognised?

 **adrikins:  
** don't forget about my medals mari!

 **marinara:  
** oh, right  
award winning... something

 **Alyarr:  
** something indeed  
what was it again

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sad you've forgotten!

 **Thani:  
** They're terrible people, Adrien.  
Tell us again?

 **marinara:  
** that's him admitting he's forgotten

 **adrikins:  
** i am crying!

 **marinara:  
** piano  
don't cry

 **adrikins:  
** so you do remember  
i was almost heartbroken!

 **Alyarr:  
** don't break his heart, mari  
what's wrong with you

 **marinara:  
** you made him cry  
not me

 **Thani:  
** It was clearly all you, Marinette.  
How dare you accuse us.

 **adrikins:  
** it was piano!

 **marinara:  
** look at that  
I did it  
you're all fucking losers

 **adrikins:  
** even me?

 **marinara:  
** that wasn't directed at you  
you're safe

 **adrikins:  
** oh that's a relief!  
i thought you didn't like me for a moment

 **Thani:  
** Does she actually like anyone, Adrien?

 **Alyarr:  
** other than you

 **adrikins:  
** she likes ladybug!  
that's why we get along

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
the rest of you are haters like nino

 **Alyarr:  
** I think we watch a lot more than nino

 **Thani:  
** You mean because we actually watch for more than giveaways.

 **adrikins:  
** but what if he wins a giveaway  
doesn't that go against his moral code  
of hating them!

 **Alyarr:  
** the day he wins anything will be the apocalypse

 **marinara:  
** even your heart?

 **Thani:  
** Are you so sure he'll ever win that?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm rooting for them!

 **marinara:  
** I'm sure nino will thank you for the support  
even though you don't want him for a dad

 **adrikins:  
** i have no parents now  
that's my tragic backstory

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** everyone needs one, right?  
nino's got his stream one  
nath's bad at flirting!

 **Alyarr:  
** klsdjgdhdh

 **marinara:  
** I don't think bad at flirting covers everything

 **Thani:  
** It's a pretty good summary, actually.

 **adrikins:  
**!  
see!

 **marinara:  
** so what's alya's backstory

 **adrikins:  
** she abandoned her son

 **Thani:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** I wasn't expecting that  
but it's not wrong  
nice job

 **Alyarr:  
** you were adopted!

 **adrikins:  
** and i got unadopted  
do you see why this story is tragic!

 **marinara:  
** sdlgkdhh

 **Thani:  
** You're a terrible person, Alya.  
How could I be so blind?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, alya  
what's wrong with you

 **Alyarr:  
** this is called bullying  
and I'm not here for it!

 **marinara:  
** nino's not here for it  
you're fine

 **Thani:  
** Does Marinette have a tragic backstory?

 **marinara:  
** I'm still living it  
it's working at the café

 **adrikins:  
** maybe someday you'll find love!  
that's always a happy end right

 **Alyarr:  
** but what if she's happy single

 **adrikins:  
** then platonic love  
like i have for plagg!

 **marinara:  
** that does sound like a happy end  
much better than the barking dog  
that I'm thinking about killing

 **Thani:  
** Mari, you can't murder a dog.

 **marinara:  
** it's me or the dog

 **adrikins:  
** i'd pick you wearing earmuffs!

 **Alyarr:  
** the dog

 **Thani:  
** The dog.

 **marinara:  
** gonna kill myself anyway  
since only adrien loves me  
the betrayal hurts

 **adrikins:  
** no don't die!

 **marinara:  
** it's my destiny  
to finally sleep in peace  
forever

 **adrikins:  
** then i'll be sad!

 **marinara:  
** you have to live on  
and glare at barking dogs for me

 **Alyarr:  
** can't you die without the monologue

 **marinara:  
** bite me

-x-

 **group chat: beleibe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** guess what

 **Thani:  
** Oh, no.  
What?

 **Alyarr:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** what?

 **adrikins has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** well, that's what  
adrien's officially promoted

 **adrikins:  
** a promotion!

 **ninny:  
** bit weird  
but ill bite  
whats going on

 **marinara:  
** our little boy's all grown up

 **Alyarr:  
** he's no one's boy!

 **Thani:  
** This is getting mean now.  
I'm sure you'll be loved someday, Adrien.

 **adrikins:  
** thanks!

 **ninny:  
** i think that was sarcasm dude

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
not thanks!

 **marinara:  
** stop bullying him  
he's now officially  
a higher rank than nino

 **ninny:  
** wtf

 **Thani:  
** With your help?

 **adrikins:  
** no no!  
we can't play together  
she's too high!

 **marinara:  
** you heard the dude  
he beat you all by himself

 **Alyarr:  
** like that's hard

 **marinara:  
** I'm sure nino would like to show you  
what else is hard

 **ninny:  
** leave me out of this please

 **adrikins:  
** but nino only plays ranked with her  
so isn't that hard already?

 **Thani:  
** Adrien's truly been promoted.  
He's so smart now.

 **marinara:  
** does that mean he's too good to be our mascot

 **Alyarr:  
** he's lethal now

 **adrikins:  
** it sounds like you're talking about a dog  
not me

 **marinara:  
** do you think the puppy next door  
is called adrien?

 **Thani:  
** It is a fitting name.

 **marinara:  
** adrien, shut up

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not talking!  
you've never heard me!

 **Alyarr:  
** adrien be quiet  
you're keeping mari up at night

 **adrikins:  
** that's just us playing!

 **ninny:  
** you're too young for that  
listen to your elders

 **marinara:  
** please stop implying I'm a pedo  
he's not a little boy!

 **Alyarr:  
** I hear you  
but I don't believe you

 **ninny:  
** words mean nothing  
when you're an ageless sexless being

 **Thani:  
** No, we know she's a girl.

 **adrikins:  
** started roleplaying too late!

 **marinara:  
** somehow  
I've come to like you fucking weirdos  
so I have something to tell you

 **Thani:  
** Are you going to confess to your crimes?

 **Alyarr:  
** give us that backstory

 **marinara:  
** I'm living my backstory  
stop expecting more than I'm willing to give  
peer pressure is bad!

 **adrikins:  
** so so bad!

 **marinara:  
** adrien's got my back

 **ninny:  
** you two are the worst pair

 **marinara:  
** that's sweet of you to say  
thank you, nino

 **adrikins:  
** i think that was sarcasm

 **marinara:  
** you're getting good at that  
anyway, buddies  
are you ready for the grand reveal?

 **Alyarr:  
** knowing you it's something dumb  
so go for it  
give it to us

 **ninny:  
** we have such faith

 **Thani:  
** To be fair, we think like this for a good reason.

 **adrikins:  
** good reason?

 **Alyarr:  
** she only told you her name  
that's more than any of us!

 **marinara:  
** I can taste the salt from here  
calm down

 **adrikins:  
** what's the reveal?

 **marinara:  
** adrien's not the baby

 **Thani:  
** As he's been telling us.

 **marinara:  
** no, for real  
I'm nineteen

 **Alyarr:  
**?

 **Thani:  
** And you're actually telling us that?

 **adrikins:  
** nineteen!  
that's younger than me!

 **ninny:  
** why are you telling us  
are you dying

 **Thani:  
** Do you have a fever?

 **Alyarr:  
**?

 **marinara:  
** I told you  
I like you guys  
stranger danger has lessened

 **adrikins:  
** that makes you the baby!

 **marinara:  
** are you going to call me baby  
because it was awkward when I said that to you  
please don't

 **Alyarr:  
** I can't believe this

 **adrikins:  
** but mari!

 **marinara:  
** don't mari me

 **Thani:  
** Clearly marry her instead.  
It's the only way we'll ever find stuff out.

 **ninny:  
** work on her night job next  
were dying to know

 **adrikins:  
** i can't marry someone unless they love plagg!

 **marinara:  
** it's on the internet  
and everyone loves plagg  
don't be dumb

 **Alyarr:  
** is that you proposing

 **ninny:  
** it sure sounds like it  
adrien already knows her name and age  
what more does he need

 **marinara:  
** a face would be good  
but he's never getting that

 **adrikins:  
** i like you just fine faceless!

 **marinara:  
** are you proposing now

 **adrikins:  
** maybe

 **Thani:  
** I can't deal with another couple here.

 **Alyarr:  
** we're not dating!

 **ninny:  
** please dont bring me into this  
lets go back to mari marrying

 **adrikins:  
** you gotta meet plagg first  
i'm sorry mari!

 **marinara:  
** why does it feel like I'm getting rejected?  
I didn't do anything

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sure you're very nice!  
no! you are very nice  
but it's not enough

 **marinara:  
** you're making it even worse  
break my heart easier please

 **Thani:  
** This seems pretty mild, actually.

 **Alyarr:  
** because he's not drunk?

 **ninny:  
** she has a point there  
you're in no place to complain mari

 **marinara:  
** sdkfjdhh  
I'm not even confessing to adrien!

 **adrikins:  
** you gotta confess to my cat instead!  
then we'll go from there!

 **marinara:  
** no!

 **adrikins:  
** no?

 **ninny:  
** the backwards rejection  
the turn around

 **Alyarr:  
** the comeback!

 **marinara:  
** I will stay where I am  
without meeting your cat  
and just enjoy your friendship

 **adrikins:  
** but he's so cute!

 **marinara:  
** not cute enough to make me not be a hermit  
therefore  
we shall never marry

 **ninny:  
** how could this happen

 **Alyarr:  
** I was just starting to ship it

 **marinara:  
** ship yourselves instead

 **Thani:  
** That's asking for too much.

 **ninny:  
** shut up thani

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: plagg staring at camera with wide pupils)  
_ look how cute he is!

 **marinara:  
** not cute enough to make me leave my lair  
I'm here for life now

 **Alyarr:  
** or until adrien the puppy drives you insane  
which won't be long

 **Thani:  
** I bet you'll last a few weeks before knocking on their door.

 **Marinara:  
** I can't just tell someone to make their dog shut up  
pets don't work like that

 **adrikins:  
** telling plagg to shut up makes him meow more!  
it really doesn't work!

 **ninny:  
** adrien shut up

 **adrikins:  
** what

 **Alyarr:  
** you can't test things out on him  
hoping it'll work on the dog

 **ninny:  
** theyre so alike

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
are you also tiny and yell at loud noises?

 **adrikins:  
** no i'm pretty tall!  
but i do yell when i'm surprised  
so maybe yes to the second one!

 **Alyarr:  
** how tall is tall

 **adrikins:  
** idk tall!

 **ninny:  
** informative

 **adrikins:  
** i've grown since i last measured!

 **marinara:  
** let's just say he's tall  
and hope the puppy doesn't follow

 **adrikins:  
** oh!  
juleka's brother is live

 **ninny:  
** do you recognise him yet nath

 **Thani:  
** Give me the link and I'll tell you.

 **adrikins:  
** _(link)_

 **Alyarr:  
** definitely the dude from the pictures  
and look how many viewers he's got?

 **marinara:  
** well, yeah  
he's ladybug's friend right

 **adrikins:  
** i never really paid attention to others!  
did you draw all these emotes nath?

 **Thani:  
** Half or so.  
The ones with the thicker outlines are mine.

 **adrikins:  
** they're so good!

 **Alyarr:  
** you'll make him get all shy  
give him a bit of criticsm

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
why aren't they mine!

 **ninny:  
** thats not really criticism?

 **Thani:  
** Pay me.

 **adrikins:  
** love me enough to give me them!

 **Alyarr:  
** not how this works  
nice try though  
b for effort

 **marinara:  
** he deserves lower than that  
didn't even proposition him

 **ninny:  
** are you saying youd slut for emotes

 **marinara:  
** you see those crisp lines?  
I'd do a lot for those

 **Alyarr:  
** careful  
you're probably making his cold heart flutter

 **adrikins:  
** don't be mean!

 **Thani:  
** I'd much prefer money.

 **marinara:  
** the rejection...  
I can't handle any more  
first adrien  
now thani!

 **Alyarr:  
** you're losing your touch  
soon you'll be washed up  
with no charm

 **ninny:  
** are you trying to say she had charm before?

 **adrikins:  
** she's very charming!

 **Thani:  
** That's what she wants you to think, buddy.

 **marinara:  
** all those nights we've stayed up  
and I'm now charmless?  
I see how it is

 **Thani:  
** You're just bad at sleeping.

 **marinara:  
** that's why we bonded  
and you're throwing it all away  
because of emotes

 **adrikins:  
** this is all my fault!

 **Alyarr:  
** absolutely  
everything is your fault

 **ninny:  
** this is why you were unadopted

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
isn't it luka's

 **ninny:  
** who

 **marinara:  
** …  
juleka's brother

 **Alyarr:  
** oh!

 **adrikins:  
** it's in his description!  
did you guys not even look at his stream properly  
that's so mean!

 **Thani:  
** Gotta support Juleka's family properly.

 **marinara:  
** you're just feeling high and mighty  
even though you didn't know who he was

 **Thani:  
** Honestly, I barely even remember talking to him.

 **adrikins:  
** but he seems nice!

 **Alyarr:  
** so do you  
but I'm waiting for something bad to happen

 **marinara:  
** all the badness went to adrien the puppy


	5. 05

**AN:** Reminder that this is all from Marinette's point of view, meaning she'll only learn about whatever she's told. I won't be swapping away from the chats, so even if she meets up with anyone in the future, it'll only be mentioned in messages.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: beleibe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** adrien!

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** good you're here  
I've got a few hours free  
you wanna play?

 **adrikins:  
**!  
i thought you'd never ask!

 **ninny:  
** what am i  
air?

 **marinara:  
** well, you are an airhead

 **Thani:  
** Burn.

 **Alyarr:  
** you walked right into that one  
but I've gotta agree  
are we not gotta enough for you any more?

 **adrikins:  
** but i'm her mintee!

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** like  
mentor  
but mentee!

 **ninny:  
** dude you said mintee

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
oh no!

 **group chat: beleibe is now group chat: mintee**

 **Thani:  
** I hope this stays for two weeks.

 **marinara:  
** stop being salty  
I'll remember beleibe forever

 **Thani:  
** Can you not?

 **Alyarr:  
** I printed it out  
and I'm gonna give it to him framed

 **ninny:  
** for his birthday?

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah

 **Thani:  
** I hate you.

 **marinara:  
** that's such a thoughtful gift  
you're wonderful  
anyway do you nerds wanna play with us

 **Alyarr:  
** so it's us now is it?

 **adrikins:  
** we're a package deal now!

 **ninny:  
** didnt you already graduate though  
why you still training him mari

 **marinara:  
** is it really training when you're there  
to hold him down?

 **ninny:  
** good point  
count me in

 **Alyarr:  
** I can't  
going out with nath soon

 **Thani:  
** With other friends, Nino.

 **marinara:  
** I like that you specified that  
you're so nice, nath

 **adrikins:  
** oh what are you going to do?

 **Alyarr:  
** we're gonna touch balls  
lots of balls

 **Thani:  
** Bowling.

 **ninny:  
** enjoy your dirty balls traitor

 **marinara:  
** yours are too clean for her  
sorry

 **Alyarr:  
** mari no

 **marinara:  
** mari yes

 **ninny:  
** but i shower daily

 **marinara:  
** do you hear that alya  
he's seducing you

 **adrikins:  
** but i shower daily too!

 **marinara:  
** adrien shut up

 **adrikins:  
** stop talking to the dog!

 **Thani:  
** I think that really was for you this time.

 **marinara:  
** I feel bad now  
don't shut up, adrien

 **adrikins:  
** i'll think about it  
i'm heartbroken now!

 **Alyarr:  
** good luck winning games  
tell me if nino rages

 **ninny:  
** im raging that youre leaving us

 **Alyarr:  
** that's so sweet  
bye!

 **Thani:  
** Yeah, see you, guys.

 **Alyarr has left the chat**

 **marinara:  
** bye  
be safe and use protection

 **Thani has left the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** do you mean the railings on the side  
is that the protection?

 **ninny:  
** it might be  
well never know

 **marinara:  
** I haven't been bowling for so fucking long  
I accidentally threw the ball backwards last time

 **ninny:  
** that sounds like you got banned  
instead

 **adrikins:  
** how did you manage that?

 **marinara:  
** we can't all be talented at everything  
shut up

 **ninny:  
** nice  
go bowling with me someday  
im amazing at it

 **adrikins:  
** don't invite mari to play balls with you!

 **marinara:  
** yeah, save that for alya  
you already know she likes it

 **ninny:  
** but will she like balls with me

 **marinara:  
** don't you mean your balls

 **adrikins:  
** can i be a kid again!  
this is too much  
too soon!

 **marinara:  
** adrien, you've been here for  
like a month  
you should be used to this

 **adrikins:  
** i'm bad at change

 **ninny:  
** its not a change  
ive been crushing on her for like  
over a year

 **adrikins:  
** oh!

 **ninny:**  
you cant be that oblivious right

 **marinara:  
** alya  
he means alya  
before you get confused

 **adrikins:  
** i already apologised for mistaking you and nath!

 **marinara:  
** poor poor nath cried himself to sleep  
all because of you

 **adrikins:  
** i'll cry myself to sleep!

 **marinara:  
** can we play first though  
that's why I'm here remember

 **adrikins:  
** ok ok  
we can do that!

 **ninny:  
** lets go then

 **leks has joined the chat**

 **leks:  
** yo  
i can see u guys online  
stop ignoring me  
i've been here half an hour already  
hello  
ur terrible

 **ninny:  
** oh hey  
when did you get here

 **leks:  
** long ago  
ur too busy ignoring me

 **adrikins:  
** juleka!  
hello!

 **leks:  
** yo adrien  
just the person i logged on for

 **adrikins:  
** me?

 **leks:  
** ye  
ur pretty chill

 **adrikins:  
** that's so sweet!

 **marinara:  
** oh, hey  
how are you, juleka?

 **leks:  
** impatient

 **ninny:  
** sorry we had good games

 **adrikins:  
** he didn't ragequit!

 **leks:  
** what a feat that is  
anyway  
adrien ur a big ladybug fan

 **adrikins:  
** yes!

 **ninny:  
** dude it wasnt a question  
we know the answer

 **adrikins:  
** still yes!

 **leks:  
** u should watch my brother's stream soon  
there's a surprise

 **marinara:  
** wait what

 **leks:  
** ye  
it's an irl one  
i'm not allowed to say any more  
but it'll be something u want to watch

 **marinara:  
** oh fuck!  
I'm late for work we played too long

 **leks:  
** oh no ur gonna miss out

 **adrikins:  
** mari run!

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** you could've just told me!

 **leks:  
** ur fucking late mari

 **marinara:  
**!

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** mari you're so unlucky!  
idk if you're gonna watch it back  
since the music will make the stream muted!  
but i'm here to tell you what's going on  
i think you'll appreciate it!  
anyway  
luka hit his goal for subscribers so  
ladybug's dying his hair blue!  
or some of it  
she's not putting bleach over all of it  
since he's scared of it burning!  
 _(image: ladybug dramatically holding her gloved hands up while luka cringes in his seat)_  
juleka's not seen but i think i heard her voice?  
there was someone off screen  
and he said that's just his sister!  
she was so quiet i couldn't hear her over the music  
ladybug ruined her shirt with bleach  
and is screaming!  
 _(image: ladybug kneeling on the floor and frowning at camera)  
_ i dunno what to say!  
it's like when they play together really  
but no game!  
the blue is kinda two different colours though  
i don't think it's intentional!  
doesn't look too bad but still  
 _(image: luka laughing as he looks into the mirror ladybug's holding)  
_ oh they're done!  
i'm sorry if this was annoying i know you're at work!

 **marinara:  
** oh that's a lot of messages  
hang on lemme scroll up

 **adrikins:  
** mari hi!

 **marinara:  
** hey  
that's really sweet of you, thank you!  
it's not annoying at all

 **adrikins:  
** really?

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
I had a bit of a panic attack at the notifications  
I thought you were dying or something

 **adrikins:  
** my first thought would be to message you  
if dying  
yes!

 **marinara:  
** maybe don't do that  
I know I live close but go for an ambulance instead

 **adrikins:**  
?

 **marinara:  
**?

 **adrikins:  
** you live close?

 **marinara:  
** I  
no  
what are you on about

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!  
you live close to me!

 **marinara:  
** no I don't  
I don't live in france at all  
I don't speak french

 **adrikins:  
**!  
you live close to me!

 **marinara:  
** you have no proof

 **adrikins:  
** close like alya and nath or close close like nino?

 **marinara:  
** I'm not from this planet

 **adrikins:  
** ok ok  
i can take a hint!  
i'm not super oblivious!

 **marinara:  
** sorry  
I don't like talking about that stuff much

 **adrikins:  
** it's okay marinette who's nineteen  
that's all i need to know!

 **marinara:  
** that I'm legal?  
bit weird, adrien

 **adrikins:  
** asfkjgdhh  
not like that!  
but that is good  
i'm glad you're legal

 **marinara:  
** …  
I'm also glad you're legal  
good job

 **adrikins:  
** good job being born?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
your parents must love you

 **adrikins:  
** i think my dad does  
but my mom's dead!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
I'm sorry to hear that

 **adrikins:  
** it ok!  
i'm okay!

 **marinara:  
** you sure?  
you don't have to tell me if it'll  
make you sad  
but I'm here if you ever want to talk  
about that kinda stuff, you know

 **adrikins:  
** really?

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
yeah?  
we're friends

 **adrikins:  
** won't it feel like a confessional  
since i know nothing about you?

 **marinara:  
** sdlgkjdh  
well, nath's never said that  
but you do know stuff about me!

 **adrikins:  
** tiny bits  
i know more about my neighbours than you!

 **marinara:  
** is that you asking to get to know me

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
i'd love to  
you're pretty cool, mari

 **marinara:  
** tell me something I don't know

 **adrikins:  
** i'm blond

 **marinara:  
** asgskgjs?  
you really are  
I meant I already know I'm cool

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
that's embarrassing!

 **marinara:  
** it's okay, blondie

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** and you know that I live near you  
but I'm not giving you any more than that

 **adrikins:  
** i'll guard that secret with my life!

 **marinara:  
** maybe don't go that far  
just not telling the group chat would be nice  
but then you messed up with my name before  
can you really be trusted?

 **adrikins:  
** please trust me!

 **marinara:  
** I'm thinking about it...

 **adrikins:  
** please!  
i'll be the wise older brother!

 **marinara:  
** who says I haven't got one already?

 **adrikins:  
** wise... older friend!

 **marinara:  
** I don't have a brother  
or sister  
there you go, you're learning a lot

 **adrikins:  
**!  
i am blessed with such knowledge!

 **marinara:  
** what about you?

 **adrikins:  
** no siblings!  
i grew up really close with my best friend  
so she might as well be family

 **marinara:  
** who was the annoying sibling

 **adrikins:  
** her!  
she's very demanding!

 **marinara:  
** stop badmouthing your sister  
you're a terrible sibling

 **adrikins:  
** i'm allowed to  
she's kicked me out of bed before!

 **marinara:  
** tmi

 **adrikins:  
** when we were eleven

 **marinara:  
** not tmi  
okay

-x-

 **group chat: mintee  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** I tripped  
I fucking tripped  
and got cream all over me

 **ninny:  
** rip buddy

 **marinara:  
** maybe not all over me  
but when I fell it went into my  
neck?

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm guessing your apron doesn't go that high

 **marinara:  
** wet  
so no

 **adrikins:  
** does that mean  
your complexion was creamy?

 **marinara:  
** …

 **ninny:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** now is not the time  
for such jokes

 **adrikins:  
** i thought it was good

 **Alyarr:  
** you also thought nino was good  
and now look at you

 **adrikins:  
** he's still not bad!

 **marinara:  
** there's a difference between good and bad  
for everyone

 **adrikins:  
** we can't all be amazing!

 **ninny:  
** stop flirt

 **Alyarr:  
** flirt with me instead

 **marinara:  
** …  
go away

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **ninny:  
** i mean  
sure?

 **marinara:  
** I didn't come here to be repulsed

 **Alyarr:  
** everyone ships us  
don't fucking lie

 **marinara:  
** now that it's becoming real I'm having second thoughts

 **ninny:  
**?  
thats so rude  
ive supported you all this time

 **marinara:  
** no you haven't  
what the fuck

 **ninny:  
** i ship you and milkshake

 **marinara:  
** milkshake is not my type

 **adrikins:  
** there is a lot of aggression for milkshake!

 **marinara:  
** becomes she brings destruction  
every time she appears

 **Alyarr:  
** destruction in your heart?  
sounding like some prime romance material

 **ninny:  
** shipping it even more

 **marinara:  
** please don't  
I want to vomit

 **adrikins:  
** milkshake's a cute name  
what would that make you together?

 **marinara:  
** no!

 **ninny:  
** milknette is not a concept

 **Alyarr:  
** milknet sounds like a spooky site

 **marinara:  
** it'll have pictures of your murders  
if you don't stop soon

 **adrikins:  
** it'll be a relationship that's  
good for the bones!

 **ninny:  
** of all sorts?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!

 **marinara:  
** milk doesn't work like that

 **Alyarr:  
** there's no boners to keep healthy between you  
you'll be fine

 **ninny:  
** i think we might just be bad at naming  
would you ship it if you had a different name?

 **marinara:  
** no!

 **Alyarr:  
** you might have a point  
juleka was proof of that

 **adrikins:  
** what does that mean?

 **Alyarr:  
** it means nino was offensive  
without meaning to be

 **ninny:  
** leave me alone

 **Alyarr:  
** no way they need to know this  
your dark past

 **ninny:  
** my dark past is being rejected by you

 **Alyarr:  
** we can bring it back if you want

 **marinara:  
**?  
does that mean you'll go back to rejecting him?

 **adrikins:  
** did he even do anything to be rejected?

 **ninny:  
** i do not like this subject

 **Alyarr:  
** he tried to call her jewlicker

 **ninny:  
** end me

 **marinara:  
** that's better that milknette

 **adrikins:  
** i am glad she's leks instead!  
how could you nino

 **ninny:  
** can i say i was drunk

 **Alyarr:  
** no one will ever believe you  
anyway  
milknet's better

 **ninny:  
** milknet is my favourite couple

 **marinara:  
** please stop  
she's too tall for me

 **adrikins:  
** you don't like tall people?

 **marinara:  
** I don't like her!

 **Alyarr:  
** but you said she's too tall!

 **marinara:  
** it doesn't matter that she's tall  
the milkshake ruined any potential there

 **ninny:  
** so you were thinking about it

 **marinara:  
** no!  
you guys were!

 **adrikins:  
** mari are you small!

 **marinara:  
** leave me alone

 **ninny:  
** you cant just ask her so directly dude  
youre our only hope here  
sweeten her up first

 **adrikins:  
** marinette

 **marinara:  
** stop

 **adrikins:  
** you're already sweeter than any milkshake!  
so i must ask  
are you small!

 **Alyarr:  
** nice attempt  
poor delivery  
think you need to work on the question marks

 **marinara:  
** why!

 **ninny:  
** but shes the same

 **adrikins:  
** i want to know!

 **marinara:  
** I want a lot of things  
like milkshake disappearing from my life  
I don't care that my mom likes her

 **ninny:  
**?

 **Alyarr:  
** your mother?  
knows milkshake?

 **adrikins:  
** what!

 **marinara:  
** fuck

 **Alyarr:  
** tell us more!

 **marinara:  
** no

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sorry!  
is it a superpower i have  
that makes you tell me too much?

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** it keeps happening!

 **ninny:  
** stop showing off  
show some modesty

 **adrikins:  
** but it's true!  
i need to only use this for good  
and not tell you guys things!

 **marinara:  
** yes, do that  
absolutely  
I'm a fan of that idea

 **Alyarr:  
** we'll bribe the secret out of him one day  
just you wait marinette

 **ninny:  
** marinette whos nineteen

 **marinara:  
** try and sound less serial killery  
please

 **adrikins:  
** marinette who's nineteen  
and an unknown height!

 **marinara:  
** …  
small

 **ninny:  
** this is starting to feel like favouritism  
weve been together two months mari  
does that mean nothing to you?

 **marinara:  
** we're not dating

 **Alyarr:  
** nino  
we've known each over a year  
and you're only just telling me shit

 **ninny:  
** oh no  
lets go back to talking about mari  
how small is small

 **marinara:  
** bigger than your dick

 **ninny:  
**?

 **Alyarr:  
** aggressive

 **marinara:  
** sorry reflex  
idk what do you want me to compare to

 **Alyarr:  
** I'd say a tape measure but I doubt you'd be that easy

 **marinara:  
** confirmed not easy  
stick that sign on me for parties

 **ninny:  
** since when do you party

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
offensive  
I see my friends all the time

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah us

 **marinara:  
** I haven't even seen you  
adrien's just described you  
so that's rejected

 **ninny:  
** whats the second

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** you said first of all  
im waiting!

 **marinara:  
** fuck you  
that was it

 **Alyarr:  
** bit disappointing

 **adrikins:  
** what about in comparison to this!  
 _(image: ladybug standing beside luka, coming up to his shoulder)_

 **ninny:  
** how is that a good comparison  
julekas not here to confirm how big he even is

 **Alyarr:  
** nino **  
**stop comparing yourself to other men  
it'll just make you sad

 **ninny:  
** alsjksghdh

 **marinara:  
** burn

 **adrikins:  
** but she's so small!  
i never realised from her streams since she's always sat down

 **marinara:  
** other than standing up to leave the room  
you mean

 **adrikins:  
** that doesn't count!

 **ninny:  
** was that saved or did you go look for that  
specifically

 **adrikins:  
** it wasn't saved!

 **Alyarr:  
** but it probably is now right  
I guess she looks pretty small there?  
not really much to compare her to

 **ninny:  
** do you match up mari

 **marinara:  
** idk  
guess I'm around that height?  
not small enough to be a problem at work  
but barely ever not the smallest in a room  
with adults  
ok sometimes teenagers

 **adrikins:  
** cute!

 **marinara:  
** ladybug is cute, I agree

 **adrikins:  
** right!  
it's still so weird seeing her with facecam now!  
i didn't think she'd be that cute

 **marinara:  
** that's offensive  
of course she's cute as fuck  
she's amazing

 **Alyarr:  
** where was all this love for milkshake

 **marinara:  
** milkshake can get hit by a car

 **ninny:  
** you might have anger issues

 **marinara:  
** coming from you?  
mister ragequit?

 **adrikins:  
** sir ragequit!  
a respected knight!

 **marinara:  
** I don't even want to know  
what you two talk about for that to happen

 **ninny:  
** please leave me alone

 **Alyarr:  
** his feelings are very fragile  
can only handle being murdered so many times

 **marinara:  
** how is he still alive

 **ninny:  
** im a ghost  
ill come haunt you at work  
unless youre nice to me

 **marinara:  
** but you're not nice to me  
where's the fairness here

 **ninny:  
** im undead

 **adrikins:  
** does a ghost count as undead?  
i only ever see zombies classed as that

 **Alyarr:  
** idk

-x-

 **private chat: Alyarr and marinara**

 **Alyarr:  
** hey  
you there?

 **marinara:  
** you caught me on my break  
what up

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm meeting nino in an hour  
I left nath a message but he's in class  
so maybe get ready for some damage control

 **marinara:  
** you said you'd talk to him!

 **Alyarr:  
** I did say I was meeting up with nino!  
but he laughed and thought I was joking  
it's not my fault  
he doesn't take me seriously

 **marinara:  
** and when did you tell him this

 **Alyarr:  
** last week  
I was a good boy

 **marinara:  
** are you sure about that  
because damage control doesn't sound good at all

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah but he likes you  
talk to him if he comes online

 **marinara:  
** why would he come online  
when he can just text and call you?

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm assuming he's going to  
to check if nino's online or not

 **marinara:  
** right  
to check if you were joking  
I can't believe you!

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah yeah  
anyway if you don't hear from me again  
nino lahiffe is my murderer

 **marinara:  
**?

 **Alyarr:  
** do you want his phone number too  
to go to the police with

 **marinara:  
** is it really stranger danger time

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm being safe  
what if he's been a catfish all along

 **marinara:  
** you've seen pictures of him right

 **Alyarr:  
** catfishes lie  
what if I turn up and it's an old man

 **marinara:  
** have you seen him... move

 **Alyarr:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** good luck getting murdered  
have you got an umbrella or something to hit him with

 **Alyarr:  
** mari it's june

 **marinara:  
** are you telling me you don't bring an umbrella in your bag  
no wonder you're about to be murdered  
you aren't prepared for anything?

 **Alyarr:  
** what the fuck  
why would I do that  
it's just taking up space

 **marinara:  
** don't you take your glasses case with you

 **Alyarr:  
** no?

 **marinara:  
** oh  
ok you're terrible  
does nath bring an umbrella?

 **Alyarr:  
** no  
we're not weirdos like you

 **marinara:  
** I'm prepared for the rain apocalypse  
unlike you losers

 **Alyarr:  
** you can't use it as a boat to ride  
if it rains enough to end the world

 **marinara:  
** maybe I have a banana boat in there  
ready to inflate

 **Alyarr:  
** you're ridiculous  
thanks for helping me calm down

 **marinara:  
** yeah, no problem  
I told my boss I have diarrhea  
so please don't spread that

 **Alyarr:  
**!  
you're such a good friend

 **marinara:  
** you're not sharing my umbrella

 **Alyarr:  
** so fucking rude!  
we were having a moment

 **marinara:  
** I know your ulterior motives

 **Alyarr:  
** my bus is here  
remember  
nino lahiffe

 **marinara:  
** nino lahiffe  
twenty  
lives in paris

 **Alyarr:  
** sounds like a description for murder

 **marinara:  
** gotta get revenge for you right

 **Alyarr:  
** good luck with nath

 **marinara:  
** kick him in the shins if he does anything bad  
or steal his glasses  
dunno how blind he is  
but it might buy you some time

 **Alyarr:  
** great advice  
real good

 **marinara:  
** thanks


	6. 06

_Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: mintee  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** okay, I'm back  
restarted and everything's fine now

 **Thani:  
** You didn't miss much.

 **marinara:  
** you mean you're not freaking out any more?

 **adrikins:  
** he never was!

 **marinara:  
** did he bribe you to say that

 **Thani:  
** Excuse you.

 **marinara:  
** I'm excused

 **adrikins:  
** mari no  
he didn't mean it like that!

 **Thani:  
** I told you, it's fine.  
I'm just waiting at her place.

 **marinara:  
** excuse me

 **Thani:  
** You're excused.

 **adrikins:  
** oh no

 **marinara:  
** is that a joke  
tell me that's a joke  
you're not really in her room are you

 **Thani:  
** We live near each other.

 **marinara:  
** can you be more specific  
I'm worried about you

 **Thani:  
** It's not that bad.

 **adrikins:  
** how close is near?

 **Thani:  
** We're in the same dorm building.

 **marinara:  
** and what  
someone let you into hers?

 **adrikins:  
** or do you have a key

 **Thani:  
** No key, sadly. We use cards that we scan to get inside.

 **marinara:  
** so you can't get in her room right

 **Thani:  
** Of course not.  
The security's not that bad.

 **adrikins:  
** then why are you there  
what's going on?

 **Thani:  
** You two really have no faith in me.  
Alya asked me to make dinner for us.

 **marinara:  
** are you two gonna gossip  
and do facemasks

 **Thani:  
** More like eat food and watch some crappy television show.

 **adrikins:  
** i'm jealous!

 **marinara:  
** what's wrong child

 **adrikins:  
** i haven't got anyone to watch with me

 **Thani:  
** Can't watch with your cat?

 **adrikins:  
** that's not the same thing!  
he just wants to sleep  
i do too but i wanna watch  
i can't do both

 **marinara:  
** you know it's bad when you're jealous of thani  
the apocalypse is coming

 **Thani:  
** Marinette.

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **Thani:  
** You tell me on a regular basis that you're jealous of my friendship with Alya.

 **marinara:  
** listen  
don't expose me like this

 **Thani:  
** Aren't you in the same position as Adrien?

 **adrikins:  
** you're the same as me?

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
kinda  
but this is very rude

 **Thani:  
** I'm sorry I'm so enviable.

 **marinara:  
** I want to kick you

 **adrikins:  
** that doesn't seem sincere at all!  
i thought we were friends

 **marinara:  
** you thought so so wrong

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sad

 **marinara:  
** adrien

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!

 **marinara:  
** wanna leave this sad boy and go watch something together?

 **adrikins:  
** then he'll be  
the jealous one!

 **Thani:  
** What?

 **marinara:  
** we're plotting against you  
go make your sad meal  
alone

 **Thani:  
** Alya's back in ten minutes.

 **adrikins:  
** alone!

 **Thani:  
**...Okay.

 **marinara:  
** evil deed for the day done  
but I really am leaving to spend time with adrien  
peace

 **Thani:  
** Have fun?

 **adrikins:  
** oh you're serious!  
ok ok

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** there you are!  
you weren't late today right

 **marinara:  
** hey dude  
no, it was fine  
thanks for staying up with me last night

 **adrikins:  
**?  
i asked you to stay up  
not the other way!

 **marinara:  
** minor details  
we still on for next week?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
i signed up for that site  
so i'm prepared

 **marinara:  
** we could just watch something else  
it's fine  
you don't have to indulge me too much

 **adrikins:  
** no no!  
i wanna watch your favourite thing  
it's fine!

 **marinara:  
** okay, weirdo  
you weren't late to classes today, right?

 **adrikins:  
** oh no  
i wasn't!  
my friend came to pick me up  
so i didn't have to use my driver  
which was very very nice

 **marinara:  
** wait  
driver?

 **adrikins:  
** are you sure you want to know?  
you might tell me something right back  
and regret it  
it is my superpower!

 **marinara:  
** tell me, dork  
it's fine

 **adrikins:  
** if you're sure you're willing  
to take that risk!

 **marinara:  
** I trust you

 **adrikins:  
** your worst decision yet!  
my dad's just very  
protective

 **marinara:  
** you're twenty

 **adrikins:  
** i am!  
thank you for remembering

 **marinara:  
** what did you do to deserve  
his protectiveness?  
I was allowed to walk home from school alone  
when I was like twelve  
it was a tough time

 **adrikins:  
** i didn't do much!  
after my mom died he's very  
ahhh  
what's the word

 **marinara:  
**?  
protective?

 **adrikins:  
** i guess, yeah  
i was all set to live in the dorms and everything  
but then stuff happened and i'm at home  
and still being babied all the time!

 **marinara:  
** oh, you live at home?  
I think everyone else lives in dorms

 **adrikins:  
** where do you live?

 **marinara:  
** in a home

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** kidding  
well, not kidding  
I live in an apartment

 **adrikins:  
** not with your parents?

 **marinara:  
** nah  
my night job's too loud  
so I moved out as soon as I was getting enough money

 **adrikins:  
** isn't it lonely?  
or do you live with anyone

 **marinara:  
** alone  
I'm considering getting a place with a friend  
but he doesn't want to leave his sister yet

 **adrikins:  
** i'm very jealous again!

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** i really want to leave!

 **marinara:  
** i mean  
can't you talk to your dad  
or try to?

 **adrikins:  
** he says no to everything  
i only got plagg because i didn't ask  
i just came home with him

 **marinara:  
** and how did that  
even work?

 **adrikins:  
** i hid him in my room  
for two weeks

 **marinara:  
**?

 **adrikins:  
** i told the maids that i'd do it myself  
and my dad never comes in anyway  
so it was a good plan!

 **marinara:  
** then how did you get found out

 **adrikins:  
** i didn't shut the door properly  
so my dad found plagg  
climbing a plant in the hallway

 **marinara:  
** …  
and he's still there  
so he must've made a great first impression

 **adrikins:  
** they don't hate each other  
which is a surprise!  
but he likes to bring that up as a point of me being  
aaaah... irresponsible

 **marinara:  
** I'd offer you my couch but  
I'm scared of your dad arresting me for kidnapping

 **adrikins:  
** asksgdh  
he would totally do that!

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck

 **adrikins:  
** it ok  
i'll be out of here after uni  
i just have to hold on until then!

 **marinara:  
** isn't that a while though

 **adrikins:  
** don't ruin my mood!

 **marinara:  
** ok ok  
you'll be out soon!

 **adrikins:  
** thank you for your support!

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
real support would be offering you my couch  
but from the maids and drivers  
I think my couch might be too bad for you

 **adrikins:  
** i told you  
i'm not the spoiled sibling!

 **marinara:  
** are you saying she's worse?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm nice!

 **marinara:  
** and she's not?  
you fucking  
monster  
how could you be so mean

 **adrikins:  
** you'll see one day!  
i'm trying to covince her to play with us  
but she thinks games are stupid

 **marinara:  
** okay, you're the best sibling

 **adrikins:  
** but i see her tabbing out on her laptop  
trying to hide that she's playing it

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** i think she's embarrassed?

 **marinara:  
** I do not understand her  
and I don't understand you  
so you might as well be related

 **adrikins:  
** that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!

 **marinara:  
** cute

 **adrikins:  
** nevermind  
that is!

 **marinara:  
** you're not actually catfishing me  
are you?  
because I still think you're precious and small  
and it makes me very uncomfortable to think that you're not

 **adrikins:  
** but i'm not small!

 **marinara:  
** small and cute  
and all the sweet things  
that's you

 **adrikins:  
** i'm big!

 **marinara:  
** your responses are only making me see it more  
I have this need to talk to your future  
boyfriend or girlfriend  
and threaten them to treat you right

 **adrikins:  
** that's so nice of you!  
you'd actually do that?  
but you're an faceless being  
that's not very threatening

 **marinara:  
** I'll find a way

 **adrikins:  
** it ok  
you won't have to do it any time soon

 **marinara:  
** what  
are you sad?  
adrien what's wrong

 **adrikins:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** you didn't use any punctuation  
I got worried

 **adrikins:  
** you're silly

 **marinara:  
** worrying about you is silly?  
that's offensive

 **adrikins:  
** i think you're the cute one!

 **marinara:  
** I'll fight you

 **adrikins:  
** adorable!

 **marinara:  
** I'll take the hint  
and not push any more

 **adrikins:  
** adorable!

-x-

 **group chat: mintee  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** my friends

 **Alyarr:  
** bye  
I'm not here

 **Thani:  
** Yes, you are.

 **Alyarr:  
** no  
I'm going over to nath's now  
I don't belong here

 **ninny:  
** you cant just leave me like this  
what kind of girlfriend are you

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **marinara:  
**!  
girlfriend!

 **Alyarr:  
** can we move on now

 **Thani:  
** No, Marinette wants to know.

 **Alyarr:  
** I already told you everything nath  
what more do you want from me

 **Thani:  
** Tell your children.

 **ninny:  
** when did we adopt marinette

 **Thani:  
** Are you saying you don't want her?  
She's a cute baby.

 **Marinara:  
** do you want to feel my fist

 **Alyarr:  
** first of all  
kinky

 **ninny:  
** we disowned adrien  
we have no children

 **adrikins:  
** take me back daddy

 **marinara:  
** aafasljkslg  
please never say that again

 **adrikins:  
** i have daddy issues  
please don't make it any worse  
my pride is weak!

 **ninny:  
** now i just want to leave

 **Alyarr:  
** glad you're on board with my plan  
let's leave and be childless forever

 **Thani:  
** Don't be mean to the children.  
Without parental supervision, they're staying up watching horror films.

 **marinara:  
** stop

 **Alyarr:  
** that's very irresponsible  
well done  
keep it up

 **ninny:  
** was it at least good

 **Thani:  
** Considering they stayed up until five, I think so.

 **marinara:  
** why do you even  
know that

 **Alyarr:  
** he was up  
stalking you two

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **ninny:  
** seething with jealousy  
his lonely nights with mari  
taken

 **Thani:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** you could've joined us!

 **marinara:  
** you didn't even reply to me dude  
wtf

 **Alyarr:  
** he was working

 **marinara:  
** so what  
he's always working

 **Thani:  
** He is right here.

 **marinara:  
** explain then!  
you didn't reply to anything  
so I thought you might've just left it on  
but clearly not?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sorry!

 **ninny:  
** why are you apologising

 **adrikins:  
** is this my fault

 **Alyarr:  
** they're an old married couple  
leave them be

 **adrikins:  
** but they're not a couple!

 **Thani:  
** I really was working, though.

 **marinara:  
** again  
so what

 **Thani:  
** I didn't want to disturb you two?  
You seemed up and ready to leave to go watch together.

 **marinara:  
**!  
yeah, because you were cooking  
but you could've replied when you got back  
you were on for like eight hours more

 **Thani:  
** Yeah, but so were you two.  
It seemed like you wanted to be alone.

 **marinara:  
**?  
just because we weren't in the group chat  
doesn't mean I was ignoring you  
dude

 **Thani:  
** Don't dude me.

 **marinara:  
** dude.

 **ninny:  
** i feel like im witnessing something intimate  
something so private

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm shipping it again  
my cold dead heart can't take this

 **marinara:  
** fuck you both

 **Thani:  
** I promise to reply next time.

 **marinara:  
** you better

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** Hello, it's midnight and I'm here to bother you.  
Like you wanted.

 **marinara:  
** good  
still working so replies might be slow

 **Thani:  
** On your phone?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
whenever I can  
thanks for being here to keep my sanity

 **Thani:  
** I still have no idea what you do.  
You're fine, though, right?  
I wasn't trying to be a dick earlier.

 **marinara:  
** not mad just sad

 **Thani:**  
That's never good.

 **marinara:  
** like  
you're my closest friend here?  
And I'm not going to ignore you for someone new  
out of nowhere

 **Thani:  
** I wasn't thinking like that.  
Okay, maybe I was.  
But I thought you'd want to be alone since you two continued for so long?

 **marinara:  
** we were having fun, yeah  
but did you not see the messages I sent you?  
you could've at least replied, dude

 **Thani:  
** Not dude.  
Sorry, I'll reply next time.

 **marinara:  
** good

 **Thani:  
** Adrien was pretty worried that you were actually annoyed.

 **marinara:  
** wait what

 **Thani:  
** Yeah.  
He messaged me earlier to ask whether we were okay.  
He also offered not to talk to you at night, which was pretty amusing.  
I think he was serious.

 **marinara:  
** tell me you told him he was being dumb

 **Thani:  
** Of course.  
He just felt bad and thought it was his fault.

 **marinara:  
** idiot

 **Thani:  
** An idiot that stays up with you.  
You've got two of them now.

 **marinara:  
** I attract them  
it's my curse

 **Thani:  
** Nice.  
Did you get anything out of Alya today?

 **marinara:  
** nah  
didn't want to bug her or nino  
if they wanna tell us they will  
I mean  
they were nice enough to say they're dating  
that's enough

 **Thani:  
** You're a good friend.

 **marinara:  
** of course I am?  
how dare you think otherwise

 **Thani:  
** A good friend who would never ignore anyone.

 **marinara:  
** yes  
bring yourself down  
you're nothing compared to me

 **Thani:  
** Maybe tone down the attitude.  
You're coming across very monologuey.

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

 **Thani:  
** Love you, too.

 **marinara:  
** shit  
people are asking what I'm doing  
bye

 **Thani:  
** Good luck with your secret job.

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

 **Thani:  
** You've already said that.

-x-

 **group chat: milknet is my otp  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** okay  
which one of you fuckers changed the name

 **ninny:  
** i dont know what youre talking about  
hello marinette  
long time no see

 **Alyarr:  
** hello dear  
did you have a good day at work

 **marinara:  
** you two are being creepy  
what's going on

 **Alyarr:  
** we're that couple  
get used to it

 **marinara:  
** you've been dating two days

 **Alyarr:  
** what's your point

 **marinara:  
** …

 **ninny:  
** did you see anyone  
special today

 **marinara:  
** what are you hinting at

 **Alyarr:  
** we've decided your aggression  
is actually sexual frustration

 **marinara:  
** do you want to die

 **ninny:  
** dont threaten my girlfriend

 **marinara:  
** do you want nino to die

 **Alyarr:  
** why nino

 **marinara:  
** he's closer  
I can get to him in record time

 **ninny:  
** ok  
is that a lie or

 **marinara:  
** oh

 **Alyarr:  
** can we forget where you live and go back to milkshake  
because we've all agreed

 **marinara:  
** agree to leave me alone  
I'm perfectly happy alone

 **ninny:  
** are you

 **marinara:  
** I want the dog next door to go away  
and then I'd be so very happy  
so pleased

 **ninny:  
** mm  
im sure

 **marinara:  
** die

 **Alyarr:  
** you're dumb  
anyway adrien's with his friend  
so that's why he's not here

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
but I didn't ask

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah but you were probably going to

 **marinara:  
** shhh

 **ninny:  
** naths working on a project  
so hes not gonna be here for like two days

 **marinara:  
** is this why you're asking about milkshake  
because of my upcoming lonely nights?

 **Alyarr:  
** aren't we nice?

 **ninny:  
** the best friends

 **marinara:  
** the best  
speaking of friends  
where's juleka at

 **Alyarr:  
** dunno  
haven't seen her in a while

 **ninny:  
** it's been like two days

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
does she know you're dating yet  
I think she'd be happy

 **Alyarr:  
** that's true  
but no  
I don't have her number

 **ninny:  
** rip leks

 **marinara:  
** poor girl  
missing out

 **Alyarr:  
** oh well  
how was your day?

 **marinara:  
** it was fine  
no accidents  
no milkshake  
the best kinda day

 **ninny:  
** lame

 **marinara:  
** you're lame  
the two of you are lame

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah yeah  
anyway  
adrien wanted me to ask if you watched ladybug last night

 **marinara:  
** no  
I was busy at work  
why?

 **ninny:  
** idk  
i wasnt here at that point

 **marinara:  
** then why answer me  
ninny

 **ninny:  
** i wanted to be involved in the convo  
sue me

 **marinara:  
** I'll shoot you

 **ninny:  
** what up with threatening to murder me today  
you sure youre okay

 **marinara:  
** yeah, my bad  
you can live

 **ninny:  
** thanks

 **Alyarr:  
** okay I had to scroll up to find up  
please stop threatening nino we haven't even kissed yet

 **marinara:  
** …

 **ninny:  
** why

 **marinara:  
** okay, I'll murder him after  
thanks

 **ninny:  
** i want to die now

 **marinara:  
** we already reached an agreement  
you can't break it

 **Alyarr:  
** anyway!  
people think ladybug has a boyfriend?  
or girlfriend?  
she got kicked for inactivity because she was too busy  
texting someone

 **marinara:  
** that sucks

 **Alyarr:  
** I know you love her  
but why can't you be happy for anyone

 **marinara:  
** I meant the kick sucks  
but yes, I love her very much

 **Alyarr:  
** adrien seems to think it's luka  
because he wasn't streaming at the time

 **marinara:  
** what

 **Alyarr:  
** idk?  
I'm not up to date with this  
it could've just been her mother  
I don't really care

 **ninny:  
** i dont get all the hype

 **marinara:  
** shut it ninny  
you're just a bitter old man

 **ninny:  
** i am older than you, yes  
what a great thing that is

 **marinara:  
** do you still want to be murdered

 **ninny:  
** i want to kiss alya first  
can you wait a bit

 **marinara:  
** a bit?  
when are you two next meeting

 **Alyarr:  
** in a few weeks  
it's expensive

 **ninny:  
** i can come to you

 **Alyarr:  
** no nath will glare at you  
it's fine  
I'll have the money soon

 **ninny:  
** if youre sure  
i really dont mind

 **marinara:  
** otp

 **group chat: milknet is my otp is now group chat: niya rise!**

 **Alyarr:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** look at that  
adorable  
and you can be weeaboos together

 **ninny:  
** why are you like this

 **marinara:  
** my heart can't take your cuteness  
I have to ruin it a bit somehow

 **Alyarr:  
** thanks for your support  
but can you not

 **marinara:  
** sorry you're not my parents!  
I don't have to listen to you

 **Alyarr:  
** wow

 **ninny:  
** youre sounding like adrien

 **marinara:  
** we're a package deal now  
love us

 **Alyarr:  
** I'll only love adrien  
you're a menace

 **marinara:  
** my heart hurts  
why would you say that

 **ninny:  
** i wonder why

 **marinara:  
** someday

I'll do something amazing  
and you'll be like  
damn we should've adopted her  
but no

 **Alyarr:  
** you can keep dreaming  
but unless you have more followers than nath  
you're nothing to me

 **marinara:  
** sounds easy

 **ninny:  
** nath is our resident celeb  
you cant take his place

 **marinara:  
** shouldn't it be juleka  
because of luka

 **ninny:  
** she cant just leech fame  
thats terrible

 **Alyarr:  
** when she shows herself on his stream  
then maybe

 **marinara:  
** the bar is set very high  
how will I ever reach it

 **ninny:  
** im sure adrien will love you  
for your failures

 **marinara:  
** how kind of you


	7. 07

_Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** adrien, no  
that person isn't going to win  
just give up

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
you can't make me choose otherwise  
i am loyal!

 **marinara:  
** you don't even know them  
this is a tv show

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sticking with my choice!  
even if he loses  
he's a winner in my heart!

 **marinara:  
** look at this  
his voice is breaking  
you're absolutely wrong!

 **adrikins:  
** shut up!  
you have no faith!

 **marinara:  
**?  
my singer didn't fuck up

 **adrikins:  
** but you didn't even like her last round  
you're just a meanie!

 **marinara:  
** I'm sorry  
did you just call me a meanie?  
meanie?

 **adrikins:  
** meanie!

 **marinara:  
** why do you revert to being twelve  
to insult me

 **adrikins:  
** because you're a meanie

 **marinara:  
** I'm starting to believe it  
what's going on here

 **adrikins:  
** I'll lose my point!

 **marinara:  
** well, yeah  
you're too loyal to your picked contestants  
I don't even understand  
why did we start watching this

 **adrikins:  
** because you wanted winner or losers

 **marinara:  
** true

 **adrikins:  
** i'll still have my pride!  
unlike you

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
not emotionally attached

 **adrikins:  
** my pride is fine!

 **marinara:  
** adrien, you just lost

 **adrikins:  
** where's your proof?

 **marinara:  
** look at your screen  
I won  
you're terrible at this

 **adrikins:  
** oh no  
oh no!

 **marinara:  
**?

 **adrikins:  
** it's okay  
i'm okay with losing if it's with you!

 **marinara:  
** but I won  
so that's not right

 **adrikins:  
** don't ruin the moment!

 **marinara:  
** there's no moment  
you're a loser!

 **adrikins:  
** i'm never betting with you again

 **marinara:  
** there's still like  
two more people to bet on  
it's fine

 **adrikins:  
** you're a meanie

 **marinara:  
** my heart.

 **adrikins:  
** meanie.

 **marinara:  
** we should've just stuck to watching films  
if you were gonna get this sassy  
I'm not ready for this

 **adrikins:  
** but this is better!  
a long time commitment

 **marinara:  
** that sounds like marriage

 **adrikins:  
** you rejected me!

 **marinara:  
** that's two out of  
idk  
however many in our chat  
I'm on a roll

 **adrikins:  
** am i allowed to ask about that?  
or is it  
just too private  
i don't wanna push you for anything

 **marinara:  
** are you asking about nath  
or why I rejected you  
because that was just a joke

 **adrikins:  
** no no  
nath!

 **marinara:  
** ahhh  
what do you want to know?

 **adrikins:  
** why you're not together?  
is that weird to ask  
because you're like  
really close?

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
if you think me and him are close  
he's closer with alya?  
they see each other all the time

 **adrikins:  
** but alya never flirts with him!

 **marinara:  
** are you accusing me

 **adrikins:  
** i've seen it!

 **marinara:  
** yeah, as a joke  
he's fine with it  
it's okay

 **adrikins:  
** that's not my question

 **marinara:  
** you mean why it didn't work out?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!

 **marinara:  
** we didn't really  
know each other?  
he didn't even know my age or first name  
little bit weird right

 **adrikins:  
** but you've told me that

 **marinara:  
** you've got superpowers  
idk you're pretty good at getting me comfortable  
we're pals

 **adrikins:  
** you're pals with nath!

 **marinara:  
** I am!  
but we never really talked about  
anything person?  
it's always random stuff or about alya  
you know  
that kinda thing

 **adrikins:  
** but why?  
you're so nice  
but so so private  
i don't understand!

 **marinara:  
** idk  
I just like it  
I guess

 **adrikins:  
** am i too open?

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
yes

 **adrikins:  
** oops

 **marinara:  
** it's kinda cute  
also makes me feel very  
awkward?  
maybe not awkward  
idk  
I'm jealous of how open you are  
with everything

 **adrikins:  
** that can be you too!

 **marinara:  
** you know enough!

 **adrikins:  
** i know more than enough to like you  
so nath does too!

 **marinara:  
** are you like  
trying to wingman right now

 **adrikins:  
** maybe!

 **marinara:  
** adrien no

 **adrikins:  
** mari why

 **marinara:  
** that was like  
two months ago?

 **adrikins:  
** but i'm shipping it

 **marinara:  
** I will leave!

 **adrikins:  
** ok ok  
you need to pick btw!

 **marinara:  
** yeah yeah  
get ready to lose again

 **adrikins:  
** meanie.

 **marinara:  
** I'm only winning bragging rights  
you'll be fine

-x-

 **group chat: niya rise!  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** my pals

 **leks:  
** gross

 **marinara:  
** oh, hey  
where have you been?

 **leks:  
** do u really care

 **marinara:  
** that sounded very aggressive  
I do care!  
I have no idea where you've been  
whatsoever

 **leks:  
** bit weird  
idk i was too lazy to come online

 **marinara:  
** that  
that doesn't sound real but ok

 **leks:  
** spent time with my girlfriend  
my brother  
that everyone here loves apparently

 **marinara:  
** your brother luka  
right

 **leks:  
** ye  
not like i have another brother  
right

 **Thani:  
** I actually can't tell if you two dislike each other or not.  
It's so hard.

 **marinara:  
** oh someone else is here  
hey, nath

 **leks:  
** were great friends  
how dare you

 **marinara:  
** ye

 **leks:  
** are u mocking me

 **marinara:  
** ye

 **Thani:  
** I'm tabbing back out.

 **marinara:  
** why are you even here if you're ignoring us  
I'm so offended

 **leks:  
** he's doing more emotes  
for luka

 **marinara:  
** oh did he get the discount?

 **leks:  
** ye it's a juicy one  
i got praised for having friends

 **marinara:  
** did he pat your head

 **leks:  
** ye  
it was nice

 **marinara:  
** that's good  
when are you back at school  
and ignoring everyone?

 **leks:  
** rude  
idk my ankles pretty much  
fine now?

 **marinara:  
** congrats!

 **leks:  
** but ur nice  
i'm here to befriend u mari

 **marinara:  
** how about no  
let's not

 **leks:  
** maybe u really do dislike me  
what ever will i do

 **marinara:  
** that sounds vaguely threatening

 **leks:  
** why would i do that

 **marinara:  
** I'm terrified.

 **leks:  
** i'm a nice person

 **adrikins has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** adrien!

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
guess what  
guess what!

 **marinara:  
** what

 **leks:  
** yo

 **adrikins:  
** hi juleka!  
i got home and plagg was being all cute  
now he's on me and i don't want to move

 **marinara:  
** where is this going

 **adrikins:  
** no that's it  
that's the story!

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
happy for you

 **adrikins:  
** look at him!  
 _(image: plagg stretched out across a bare male's chest)_

 **leks:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** sdlgjhdas?

 **adrikins:  
** he's so cute!  
and i would murder for him!

 **marinara:  
** nipple

 **leks:  
** ye  
what she said

 **adrikins:  
** o  
is that bad?

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
you just showed us your nipples

 **leks:  
** not plural  
only one  
but thats more than i ever wanted to see

 **adrikins:  
** look at that cat instead!

 **leks:  
** i want to  
i'm so gay

 **marinara:  
** nipple

 **adrikins:  
** please look at plagg!

 **leks:  
** u just sent a shirtless pic  
to the group chat

 **adrikins:  
** no it was meant for mari!  
i'm sorry! **  
**  
 **leks:  
** what kinda relationship  
are u two in

 **marinara:  
** no!

 **adrikins:  
** my cat!  
not my nipple!

 **marinara:  
** he's a very nice cat  
but now I'm scarred  
my innocent eyes

 **leks:  
** innocent  
eyes?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm so sorry!

 **marinara:  
** I'm now tainted  
what do I do

 **leks:  
** pray  
hope for the best

 **marinara:  
** thank you for your suggestions  
I will now ignore them

 **leks:  
** o

 **Thani:  
** Do I even want to scroll up?

 **marinara:  
** not unless you wanna see  
adrien's nipples  
nipple  
singular

 **leks:  
** or some pussy

 **Thani:  
** …  
What?

 **marinara:  
** adrien posted a nude

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** we were giving him tips  
on how to make it look better

 **leks:  
** he's pretty amateur  
he'll get better in the future

 **marinara:  
** we're helping

 **Thani:  
** I don't believe you, but I don't want to scroll up.  
I'm scared it's true.  
What will Alya say about her child?

 **marinara:  
** that that's why he's disowned  
but also that she's happy they're not related

 **leks:  
** why would she be happy

 **marinara:  
** your gay ass can't tell that's a nice chest

 **Thani:  
** Are you actually close enough to say that?

 **leks:  
** homophobic

 **marinara:  
** what

 **Thani:  
** Are you two just fucking around?

 **leks:  
** no  
he really posted a nude

 **marinara:  
** we're friends  
it's okay, nath  
I'm not a complete dick

 **Thani:  
** If you're sure.

 **leks:  
** ye it's fine  
thanks for white knighting or whatever  
but i'm so gay

 **marinara:  
** thanks

 **leks:  
** adrien  
where u at

 **Thani:  
** He's probably embarrassed by you two.

 **marinara:  
** we're innocent

 **leks:  
** how dare u  
i'm an angel

 **Thani:  
** Yeah, I'm sure.  
I scrolled up.

 **marinara:  
** what do you think about the chest  
back me up here

 **Thani:  
** How about I'll answer that if Adrien ever asks?  
I don't want to make him uncomfortable.

 **leks:  
** lame

 **marinara:  
** thani the mood ruiner

 **Thani:  
** Do you see Adrien here?

 **marinara:  
** adrien!  
where'd you go!

 **leks:  
** is that how u communicate

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
it usually works  
adrien!

 **Thani:  
** Actual children.

 **marinara:  
** adopt us

 **Thani:  
** Stop trying to find someone to call daddy, it's weird.

 **marinara:  
** maybe that's why we didn't work out  
you and your kinks

 **leks:  
** what  
wait what

 **marinara:  
** nath's lame  
that's all you need to know

 **Thani:  
** Are you going to recite what happened to everyone?

 **marinara:  
** maybe I should copy paste it  
save it  
tell everyone new

 **leks:  
** ive been here longer than u

 **marinara:  
** you disappeared  
I didn't even know you existed

 **leks:  
** rude

 **marinara:  
** adrien!  
do I need to do some satanic ritual  
to summon him

 **leks:  
** we could just have a funeral

 **marinara:  
** nath, get the flowers

 **leks:  
** he is the flower

 **marinara:  
** did you hear that nath  
you're pretty

 **Thani:  
** Thanks.  
My confidence is boosted.

 **marinara:  
** a beautiful red flower  
a real rose

 **Thani:  
** I'm so happy.

 **marinara:  
** calm down with the sarcasm  
it's hurting my eyes

 **leks:  
** i have an idea

 **marinara:  
** what

 **leks:  
** adrien  
i've got news for u

 **marinara:  
** omnious but ok

 **leks:  
** ladybug news  
 _(image: ladybug smiling with her fingers in a peace sign)_

 **Thani:  
** I almost forgot that you know her.

 **marinara:  
** you are blessed  
use that power well

 **leks:  
** don't give me the superhero talk  
 _(image: ladybug face-down on a bed with her face covered by a pillow)  
_ adrien come back

 **Thani:  
** How many candid pictures do you even have?

 **leks:  
** enough  
 _(image: ladybug eating ice cream, tongue visible)  
_ does this count as a nude

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck

 **leks:  
** legit question

 **adrikins:  
** what is going on!

 **Thani:  
** The nude worked, then.

 **marinara:  
** it's not a nude!  
it's an innocent ice cream picture!

 **leks:  
** mari  
are ur gay senses tingling

 **marinara:  
** not a nude!

 **adrikins:  
** it makes me feel better tho!  
ladybug didn't think that through either  
that is great!

 **marinara:  
** no!

 **leks:  
** i took it tho

 **adrikins:  
** thank you!

 **leks:  
** np it fine  
welcome back

 **adrikins:  
** sorry i got really shy  
then plagg wanted to play  
so we did

 **marinara:  
** did you put on a shirt

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
i'm sorry about that still  
please forget

 **Thani:  
** But Mari likes your chest.

 **marinara:  
** shut

 **leks:  
** ye but  
she also likes ladybug's tongue  
what does that say to u

 **adrikins:  
** that she has good taste!  
in ladybug  
not me  
ladybug!

 **marinara:  
** why

 **Thani:  
** At least he's modest.  
How was your day, Adrien?

 **adrikins:  
** it was fine  
now it's great!  
thank you for the pictures  
juleka  
i love them

 **leks:  
** ur welcome  
but that's not what i'm here for

 **marinara:  
** being annoying is  
right

 **leks:  
** rude

 **adrikins:  
** be nice!

 **marinara:  
** we're pals  
don't worry

 **leks:  
** we get on because were gay

 **marinara:  
** excuse you

 **Thani:  
** I'm still worried about you two.

 **leks:  
** nath stop being a dad  
it's weird

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not allowed to call anyone that

 **leks:  
** exactly  
so stop it nath

 **marinara:  
** back to uncle nath

 **Thani:  
** Leave me alone.

 **leks:  
** anyway  
adrien

 **adrikins:  
** hello!  
how can i help you

 **leks:  
** no  
let me help u

 **marinara:  
** sounds creepy

 **adrikins:  
** what does this mean!

 **leks:  
** ur prob wondering about the ladybug rumour  
right  
it's been spammed in luka's chat for days

 **adrikins:  
** you actually know?

 **leks:  
** ye  
i live with him  
i know everything

 **marinara:  
** why

 **leks:  
** why what

 **marinara:  
** why must you tell adrien this  
or any of us  
for that matter

 **leks:  
** it ok  
u can say ur were jealous  
and want to know if ladybug's single  
i understand ur feelings

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** are they dating?  
not that it's bad  
if they are!  
i'd be very happy for them!  
especially since it's your brother!

 **leks:  
** nah  
they've been friends since they were like  
idk  
five

 **adrikins:  
** that long?

 **leks:  
** ye  
ladybug was in my class  
but luka stole her  
it was rude

 **marinara:  
** maybe  
your brother was cooler

 **leks:  
** shut ur mouth

 **marinara:  
** fight me

 **leks:  
** my legs will be longer  
than ur lifespan  
if u don't shut up

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** be nice!  
i can't handle fighting

 **marinara:  
** I'm cry

 **leks:  
** fuck u  
anyway  
there u go adrien  
cheer up about ur nipple

 **adrikins:  
** please forget the nipple!

 **leks:  
** it's seared in my gay mind  
hanting me

 **adrikins:  
** no one's ever said  
my nudes haunt them before!

 **marinara:  
** so you admit it was a nude  
huh!

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **leks:  
** tell us more about the nudes  
how often do u send em

 **adrikins:  
** never!

 **marinara:  
** incorrect  
you tried to seduce us earlier

 **leks:  
** too innocent to realise  
mari's only got eyes for ladybug

 **marinara:  
** like  
I will actually fight you

 **leks:  
** but we're pals  
why would u do that

 **marinara:  
** stop bully!

 **leks:  
** ok ok  
pls forgive me

 **marinara:  
** that sounds sarcastic  
so no

 **leks:  
** don't be mean  
accept it

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** who's the dick now

 **marinara:  
** no wonder you don't like me  
what the fuck

 **leks:  
**!

 **adrikins:  
** am i supposed to say get a room here  
is that what we do?

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** no

 **adrikins:  
** but

 **leks:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** stop shipping me with people  
I feel like you're my dad  
trying to marry me off

 **adrikins:  
** i want the best for my baby!

 **marinara:  
** please no  
don't call me baby  
we agreed on this

 **adrikins:  
** little mari!  
baby!

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** gross

 **adrikins:  
** i want to protect you

 **marinara:  
** that's literally what I said to you  
don't copy me, loser

 **adrikins:  
** fight me!

 **marinara:  
** okay

 **adrikins:  
** no don't  
i'm fragile

 **marinara:  
** but you asked me to

 **adrikins:  
** i regret  
don't do it!

 **leks:  
** can i say get a room now

 **marinara:  
** I'll kick you

 **leks:  
** only my girlfriend gets to do that

 **adrikins:  
** scary

 **leks:  
** kidding  
or am i  
who knows

 **marinara:  
** my image of you is terrible  
why are you like this

 **leks:  
** love me

 **adrikins:  
** no!

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** hello  
hi  
hiya  
what up

 **adrikins:  
** you missed ladybug  
you missed out!

 **marinara:  
** work sucks  
did I miss anything good

 **adrikins:  
** not really!  
i mean  
it's all good!  
but you missed her playing with luka

 **marinara:  
** nice  
coincidentally or on purpose?

 **adrikins:  
** purpose!  
they queued together for a few hours  
it was really fun to watch!  
you missed out

 **marinara:  
** I miss out on everything  
including making fun of you

 **adrikins:  
** don't be a meanie  
but i heard juleka!

 **marinara:  
** you did?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
luka's mic picked her up  
they were talking to each other!

 **marinara:  
** talking  
to his sister  
who knew that happened!

 **adrikins:  
** no bully!  
it was just  
really cool?  
he didn't have push to talk on so i heard it all on her stream  
and thought oh wow that's juleka!  
i know her!  
and so many people are listening to her!

 **marinara:  
** that does sound cool though  
is she as blunt as online

 **adrikins:  
** she seems really nice!  
maybe she's bad at typing

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
you're bad at typing

 **adrikins:  
** no i'm not!

 **marinara:  
** yes, you are  
your typing makes you sound twelve

 **adrikins:  
** at least i'm a cute twelve year old  
right

 **marinara:  
** saying yes to that will get me arrested  
it wasn't me officer

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** you are cute  
I can confirm that  
even with your chest

 **adrikins:  
** forget the nipple!

 **marinara:  
** I can't  
it haunts me too now

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** sorry for not being on  
sometimes I can be while at work  
but others it's just too busy

 **adrikins:  
** it's okay!  
nath and nino were there to keep me company  
but then nino went to bed

 **marinara:  
** nath too busy to amuse you?

 **adrikins:  
** he tried!

 **marinara:  
** cute

 **adrikins:  
** do you mean me or nath

 **marinara:  
** plagg

 **adrikins:  
** the traitor!

 **marinara:  
** much better looking than your nipple  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** is that because you're gay?

 **marinara:  
** aksjfsgh

 **adrikins:  
** was that phrased badly  
i'm sorry?  
i wasn't trying to be mean!

 **marinara:  
** no, your chest is very nice  
I said that already  
stop fishing for compliments

 **adrikins:  
** ok ok!  
my bad!

 **marinara:  
** I hope you know  
I fucking choked

 **adrikins:  
** i've never wanted that for you!

 **marinara:  
** thanks?  
that's nice of you

 **adrikins:  
** would you like a plagg picture  
to cheer you up

 **marinara:  
** will it include a nipple

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** what if I wanted it to?

 **adrikins:  
** you need to flirt with me first!  
this nipslip was a mistake  
please forget!

 **marinara:  
** okay, okay  
I'll bury it in my mind

 **adrikins:  
** please and thank you

-x-

 **group chat: niya rise!  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** murder me

 **ninny:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** rude?  
why wouldn't you murder me  
I've had a bad day  
put me out of my misery

 **ninny:  
** because i want to make you jealous first  
are you ready for this

 **Alyarr:  
**!  
she's gonna lose her shit!

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** adriens not here so you gotta fill him in  
later  
if im not here

 **marinara:  
** what?

 **ninny:  
** im serious  
i called alya up to confirm this  
and im like  
really sure its real

 **marinara:  
**?  
what is going on

 **Alyarr:  
** nino was blessed  
his hatred made it so you and adrien will murder him  
isn't that great?

 **marinara:  
** what  
maybe I should just leave

 **ninny:  
** dont you dare  
let me gloat first

 **marinara:  
** go on then

 **ninny:  
** are you ready

 **Alyarr:  
** are you ready!

 **marinara:  
** go on, I guess  
idk what I'm preparing for

ninny:

i saw ladybug

 **marinara:  
** yeah, same

 **ninny:  
** no i mean  
i saw her irl

 **marinara:  
** …  
what  
where?

 **Alyarr:  
** at his work!

 **marinara:  
**?  
I don't even know where you work?

 **ninny:  
** because nothing interesting happens  
until today  
i just work in a tech shop or whatever you wanna call it  
i fix shit **  
**  
 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** i fixed her phone screen

 **marinara:  
** and like  
you just saw her?  
or did you talk to her?

 **Alyarr:  
** is that jealousy

 **marinara:  
** yes  
absolutely jealous

 **ninny:  
** idk i didnt meet her when she came in  
i just fixed the screen and gave it back to her  
like an hour ago  
it was surreal

 **marinara:  
**?  
so you spoke to her

 **ninny:  
** like two sentences  
didnt realise it was her until after she walked out  
wouldve asked for a pic to make all of you jealous  
but im dumb apparently

 **marinara:  
** yeah, you are dumb  
so dumb

 **Alyarr:  
** my dumb

 **marinara:  
**...gross

 **ninny:  
** your reaction sucks  
adriens gonna lose his shit


	8. 08

**AN:** i see you lurking, _venturlous_ and i love you! also shout out to _shirosagii_ for helping me with dumb puns (you're wonderful).

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: marinara and adrikins**

 **adrikins:  
** am i bothering you?

 **marinara:  
** what  
no

 **adrikins:  
** but you're taking so long to reply!  
and i feel bad  
we can just talk later!

 **marinara:  
** it's fine  
I'm just replying when I have a break at work

 **adrikins:  
** why do you keep working so late?  
is that insensitive  
am i allowed to ask about the two jobs?  
oh no maybe i'm not  
maybe i'm being annoying!  
what if you're just humouring me

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
shut up

 **adrikins:  
** see!

 **marinara:  
** no, I mean  
don't think like that  
I'm online because I want to talk to you

 **adrikins:  
** but work!

 **marinara:  
** there's a lull every now and then  
besides nath's not here  
do you really want to leave me all alone?

 **adrikins:  
** i'll never leave you!

 **marinara:  
** not what I asked  
focus, man  
focus!

 **adrikins:  
** ok ok!  
i'd never want you to be sad  
be happy mari!

 **marinara:  
** you're so much cuter than adrien the dog

 **adrikins:  
** my greatest achievement  
how is the dog?

 **marinara:  
** loud  
I can hear him right now

 **adrikins:  
** really?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
thankfully my microhpone doesn't  
that would be awkward

 **adrikins:  
**?  
but you don't have a mic?

 **marinara:  
** aah  
I do but it's for work  
I can't use it outside of that

 **adrikins:  
** what do you mean!

 **marinara:  
** it's bugged  
the government will know

 **adrikins:  
** are they watching you

 **marinara:  
** a lot of people are watching me  
it's a scary thing

 **adrikins:  
** i'll remember you if you get murdered

 **marinara:  
** real sweet of you  
thanks, adrien  
you make my heart feel warm

 **adrikins:  
** that sounds bad!

 **marinara:  
** in a good way  
but not a I want to bone way  
we're not at that point yet

 **adrikins:  
** yet!

 **marinara:  
** idk  
you've gotta show me more than a nipple  
to get me into bed

 **adrikins:  
** leave me alone!

 **marinara:  
** it haunts me, adrien  
it pops into my mind at night  
behind my eyelids when I close my eyes

 **adrikins:  
** stop!

 **marinara:  
** plagg cannot heal me

 **adrikins:  
** meanie!

 **marinara:  
** really  
ten minutes and all you say is meanie?

 **adrikins:  
** meanie.

 **marinara:  
** mmm

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!

 **marinara:  
** what's up

 **adrikins:  
** how much longer are you working?  
i'm tired but i want to watch

 **marinara:  
** ladybug's stream?  
I've got it on in my background  
but muted

 **adrikins:  
** you're missing out!

 **marinara:  
** probably  
and it'll be muted due to music  
tomorrow

 **adrikins:  
** the music's only played during queues!  
she listened to us!

 **marinara:  
** oh, when did that change?

 **adrikins:  
** it's like you don't even care  
should i call you nino?

 **marinara:  
** are you calling me a ninny

 **adrikins:  
** yes

 **marinara:  
** gasp  
why are you even keeping me company then

 **adrikins:  
** i'm here for ladybug!  
not you

 **marinara:  
** it hurts

 **adrikins:  
** it's okay  
i still like you, mari  
it's just a bit less

 **marinara:  
** a bit

 **adrikins:  
** getting smaller!

 **marinara:  
** ouch

 **adrikins:  
** i'm kidding!  
please don't leave me  
i love you mari!

 **marinara:  
** idk do you  
my heart's broken  
I don't believe in love now

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: male with blond hair pouting)_

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** that's how much i love you!

 **marinara:  
** wait  
is that you?

 **adrikins:  
** now you've seen more than my nipple!

 **marinara:  
** I never asked!

 **adrikins:  
** that's why it's proving my love!  
we're friends  
a friendly love

 **marinara:  
** why are you pouting

 **adrikins:  
** i got taught to selfie

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** my best friend!

 **marinara:  
** your best friend  
taught you to selfie?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
she's popular online  
and taught me so i can be in pictures with her!

 **marinara:  
**?  
are you trying to tell me  
you're a model now

 **adrikins:  
** no, my friend is!  
the one who's like my sister  
it's strange!  
seeing all the gross comments

 **marinara:  
** why am I only just hearing this now  
you let nath believe he was popular

 **adrikins:  
** because i trust you!  
and i didn't want to tell everyone  
it's weird

 **marinara:  
** weird?

 **adrikins:  
** when i mention her at uni  
some people are kinda rude?  
or ask for her number  
which i am not for at all!

 **marinara:  
** but do they ask for your number

 **adrikins:  
** yes?

 **marinara:  
** just checking

 **adrikins:  
** why  
why?  
marinette!  
don't go afk and answer me!

 **marinara:  
** okay, you big baby  
I was just busy  
I'm not running away from embarrassment  
I don't have feelings

 **adrikins:  
** i'll feel enough for the both of us!

 **marinara:  
** cute  
your face is as nice as your chest  
so good job

 **adrikins:  
** i've been taught well!

 **marinara:  
** have some modesty

 **adrikins:  
** but the pictures with me in them  
are very popular!

 **marinara:  
** it's all going to your head  
forget it  
and your blond hair  
it's all fake

 **adrikins:  
** but i'm real

 **marinara:  
** no  
you're catfishing me

 **adrikins:  
** why would i do that!

 **marinara:  
** you tell me, adrien  
if that's your real name

 **adrikins:  
** it is!  
you've seen my cat!

 **marinara:  
** I've seen a cat  
on a chest!

 **adrikins:  
** my chest!

 **marinara:  
** no.

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: plagg sitting on adrien's shoulder)_

 **marinara:  
** fake

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!

 **marinara:  
** okay, okay  
you're real  
but I don't understand how

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: plagg on pillow beside adrien's head)  
_ what don't you understand  
look how cute we are!

 **marinara:  
** I've never imagined you as cute

 **adrikins:  
** i was a faceless blob!

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
but now only you and juleka have faces

 **adrikins:  
** juleka?

 **marinara:  
** she was on a stream  
I swear

 **adrikins:  
** are you sure?

 **marinara:  
** let's go back to you being cute  
because you are  
and it's weird

 **adrikins:  
** that's how i feel about chloe!

 **marinara:  
** chloe?

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
that's my friend's name!  
the model one  
well no  
she's not a model

 **marinara:  
** what is she

 **adrikins:  
** a brat!  
she just does whatever she wants  
and it's very odd!

 **marinara:  
** because you can't do what you want?  
are you okay with piano still?

 **adrikins:  
** not really  
it's okay!  
but i don't enjoy it any more  
it's just a thing  
i need to do

 **marinara:  
** rip  
I feel like that sometimes with my work  
I get really burned out when I play for hours on end

 **adrikins:  
** play?  
what do you play

 **marinara:  
** a sad song  
while I contemplate killing myself

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** you've gotta stay, adrien  
you keep me strong  
I have a reason to live when you're here

 **adrikins:  
** but that's a lot of pressure!

 **marinara:  
** look  
if you can be a model with your friend  
you can do this

 **adrikins:  
** that's  
not very inspirational?

 **marinara:  
**?  
fucking rude?

 **adrikins:  
** get good!

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

-x-

 **group chat: delete nino  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** why has the name changed  
what did I miss?

 **ninny:  
** bullying

 **marinara:  
** nothing new

 **adrikins:  
** betrayal!

 **ninny:  
** its not betrayal if i never said otherwise, dude

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **ninny:  
** pls forgive me

 **marinara:  
** gay

 **ninny:  
** ship us

 **adrikins:  
** i'll never be shipped with you!  
niya is in our hearts!

 **marinara:  
** I've moved on  
to better things  
nino, adrien will treat you so much better  
you should listen to him

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** rejected

 **ninny:  
** hes just salty  
because i said ladybug didnt come back

 **marinara:  
** but like  
why would she go back?  
it's not like she'd break her phone again

 **adrikins:  
** it was an honest question!

 **ninny:  
** you asked it before asking  
about my feelings, dude?  
now theyre hurt

 **adrikins:  
** you're a dramatic baby!

 **ninny:  
** how dare you say that to marinette  
you monster

 **adrikins:  
** leave her out of this!

 **ninny:  
** adrien pls

 **marinara:  
** are you two going to kiss and make up  
because you're both dumb  
is this what happens when it's just you two?

 **adrikins:  
** you're supposed to be on my side!

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
stop being blond

 **adrikins:  
** why would you say that!

 **marinara:  
** sorry!  
I saw my chance and I took it  
now I'm basic

 **ninny:  
** when were you not basic

 **adrikins:  
** mari do you hear the wind!

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
we're typing

 **ninny:  
** who's the ninny now

 **marinara:  
** still you  
anyway you two being childish makes me want to vomit  
can you not

 **ninny:  
** you make a compelling point  
but no **  
**

 **adrikins** :  
don't get sick!

 **marinara:  
** you're making me sick  
being cute won't stop it

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sorry!

 **ninny:  
** now you two are making me sick  
pls stop

 **marinara:  
** you wish you and alya  
were as cute as us

 **adrikins:  
**!  
i'm very adorable!

 **marinara:  
** try and have some modesty  
come on  
we talked about this!

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
i've been told to be confident  
so i will!

 **marinara:  
** do you believe it  
or is it fake confidence

 **ninny:  
** youre pretty cool, dude  
believe it

 **adrikins:  
** i'm gonna cry

 **marinara:  
** not my intention  
sorry for making fun of your hair!

 **adrikins:  
** it ok  
i like you!

 **ninny:  
** get a room

 **marinara:  
** die

 **ninny:  
** wait  
his hair?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, adrien showed me a pic  
now he's no longer faceless  
isn't that exciting

 **ninny:  
** did you give him anything in return?

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: plagg sitting on adrien's shoulder)  
_ here!

 **marinara:  
** not the first picture but ok

 **adrikins:  
** but i took that one for you!  
not for nino's eyes

 **marinara:  
** not for your friend's acc either?

 **adrikins:  
** she doesn't let me have solo pics often!  
it steals her spotlight  
she needs it to live

 **ninny:  
** do i even want to know  
but cool face  
nice, dude

 **marinara:  
** is that a bro compliment  
or something

 **adrikins:  
** bro!

 **ninny:  
** what up bro  
your face is good  
but are you good?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm okay!  
but do you know what's better!

 **ninny:  
** what is it

 **adrikins:  
** it's you!

 **marinara:  
** like  
can you not

 **ninny:  
** ship us

 **marinara:  
** neither of you have said no homo

 **ninny:  
** dont be uncultured  
we are pro homo

 **adrikins:  
** get with the times!

 **marinara:  
** ok ok  
my bad  
I'm a terrible person

 **adrikins:  
** liking you is like  
having a guilty pleasure!

 **ninny:  
** so she gives you pleasure?

 **marinara:  
** …  
pls

 **adrikins:  
** so much!

 **marinara:  
** why

 **adrikins:  
** oh!  
in a no homo way?

 **marinara:  
** adrien no

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not hip!

 **ninny:  
** we accept you for your faults

 **marinara:  
** you literally invited him  
because he played worse than you

 **ninny:  
** hey

 **adrikins:  
** that's true!

 **ninny:  
** he was nice

 **marinara:  
** and now he's better than you  
how does it feel?

 **adrikins:  
** maybe i can teach you now  
ladybug's really taught me!

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** her streams are so informative!  
you're really missing out  
nino why!

 **ninny:  
** but ive seen her real face  
a few metres away from me

 **adrikins:  
** and you didn't appreciate her!

 **ninny:  
** of course i didnt  
i have alya for that

 **marinara:  
** so alya can appreciate ladybug?  
how kind of her

 **adrikins:  
** i love alya!

 **ninny:  
** youre both idiots  
go away

-x-

 **group chat: delete nino  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** milkshake is back

 **ninny:  
** is anyone in your yard

 **leks:  
** gross

 **marinara:  
** shut the fuck up  
I know your full name

 **ninny:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** alya gave me it  
when you were meeting  
so I could give it to the police

 **ninny:  
** shes so smart?  
im blessed

 **marinara:  
** let's go back to me  
instead of you gushing

 **leks:  
** go on  
i like ur suffering

 **marinara:  
** hello juleka  
when did you get here

 **leks:  
** before you

 **marinara:  
** thanks

 **ninny:  
** like half an hour ago  
ive got the day off and no ones been online

 **leks:  
** am i just no one to u  
is that it?

 **ninny:  
** yes

 **leks:  
** fair

 **marinara:  
** I can feel the love

 **leks:  
** speaking of love  
tell me ur woes

 **ninny:  
** smooth  
but yes

 **marinara:  
** she actually spoke to me today  
to tell me my shoes don't match my outfit

 **leks:  
** was she right

 **marinara:  
** that is not the point  
you absolute idiot

 **ninny:  
** thats a yes  
isnt it

 **marinara:  
** I was running late  
okay?  
it's not my fault

 **leks:  
** how can she see ur shoes  
over a counter

 **ninny:  
** yeah?  
dont you work at a coffee shop

 **marinara:  
** I have to step out to deliver the drinks  
you know  
I'm not bound to one small section  
stuck behind the counter for life

 **leks:  
** so u stepped out  
and got insulted

 **marinara:  
** pretty much  
if I dress up really pretty in the future  
is it petty

 **leks:  
** it's gay

 **marinara:  
** shut

 **ninny:  
** idk i feel like youd  
do all that effort and she would ignore you  
is it worth it

 **marinara:  
** for my pride  
yes?  
absolutely?

 **leks:  
** is milk fashionable

 **marinara:  
** milkshake  
never looks a mess

 **ninny:  
** gay

 **marinara:  
** no homo

 **ninny:  
** we are pro homo here  
remember

 **leks:  
** u could ask her for fashion advice  
next time

 **marinara:  
** and why would I do that?

 **leks:  
** u talk about her enough  
make her talk to u  
be the gay u want to be

 **marinara:  
** why

 **ninny:  
** for real  
you do talk about her a lot

 **marinara:  
** she's my arch nemesis  
she must be known

 **ninny:  
** what if you turn into best friends  
wouldnt that be great

 **marinara:  
** stop trying to get rid of me!

 **leks:  
** can i come befriend her

 **marinara:  
** you're banned

 **leks:  
** no i'm not

 **ninny:  
** tell me so i can come  
i live near juleka

 **marinara:  
** that's nice  
good for you two

 **leks:  
** nino let's meet up  
i know a good place to eat cake

 **ninny:  
** are you not on like  
a diet or something

 **leks:  
** no  
i was before but i gave up  
i'm fine

 **ninny:  
** last time i said we should meet up  
you told me to fuck off

 **leks:  
** ur right  
let's not

 **ninny:  
** im saving my money to go see alya

 **leks:  
** nice

 **ninny:  
** thanks

 **leks:  
** is it expensive

 **ninny:  
** my wallet is pitiful  
im bad at saving

 **marinara:  
** didn't you buy a new keyboard last week

 **ninny:  
** an accident happened

 **leks:  
** u broke it

 **ninny:  
** in my defense  
thats why i dont have wireless ones  
they fall too easily

 **marinara:  
** or you're too heavy  
and you broke it

 **ninny:  
** accidentally  
it wasnt even a rage move

 **marinara:  
** are you telling me you've purposely broken shit?

 **ninny:  
** what  
no  
never

 **leks:  
** ye  
he threw his mouse before

 **ninny:  
** wireless!

 **marinara:  
** nice excuses

 **ninny:  
** go back to mooing over milkshake

 **marinara:  
** excuse you

 **leks:  
** mooing

 **marinara:  
**?

 **ninny:  
** i meant mooning

 **marinara:  
** too late  
I'm a cow and offended

 **leks:  
** dont have a cow man

 **marinara:  
** nino  
do you hear the wind?

 **ninny:  
** fuck off

 **group chat: delete nino is now group chat: moo**

 **marinara:  
** moo

 **leks:  
** speaking of mooing  
wheres adrien

 **marinara:  
** with his friend

 **ninny:  
** you didnt even have to think about that

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
of course?  
we talk daily

 **leks:  
** gross

 **marinara:  
** you say that but really  
you think I'm cute

 **leks:  
** gross

 **marinara:  
** xo

 **ninny:  
** gross

 **marinara:  
** you can't just join in like this  
how dare you?

 **leks:  
** moove over

 **ninny:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** wise words  
from a wise person

 **leks:  
** thank  
i'm really smart

 **marinara:  
** so smart

 **ninny:  
** why are you two like this

 **marinara:  
** like what?  
nino?

 **ninny:  
** so  
chummy

 **leks:  
** are u jealous  
u don't have anyone but alya

 **marinara:  
** truth is pain

 **ninny:  
** adrien likes me!

 **leks:  
** where is he  
not here

 **marinara:  
** he's abandoned you  
left you to the dogs

 **ninny:  
** you just called yourself bitches

 **marinara:  
** die

 **leks:  
** this is why u have no friends

 **ninny:  
** you two are literally my friends  
this is my friend group

 **leks:  
** not any more

 **marinara:  
** times have changed  
we're taking over  
this is no longer a nino-friendly place

 **ninny:  
** honestly  
was it ever

 **leks:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** sorry we can't answer that  
we don't talk to ninos here

 **ninny:  
** youre answering me now

 **marinara:  
** juleka  
my friend  
how are you today?

 **leks:  
** bored  
luka's ignoring me

 **marinara:  
** you mean he's streaming

 **leks:  
** ye  
same thing

 **marinara:  
** rip  
 **  
ninny:  
** how old are you two

 **leks:  
** do u wanna do something

 **marinara:  
** what do you have in mind?  
you still haven't played in months  
so it can't be that

 **leks:  
** ignoring nino is good

 **marinara:  
** is it tho

 **leks:  
** it's amoosing  
it'll do

 **marinara:  
** every pun makes my opinion of you  
get even lower

 **leks:  
** why is it low  
i'm cute

 **marinara:  
** gross

-x-

 **private chat: marinara and leks**

 **leks:  
** u know ur almost at ur subgoal  
right

 **marinara:  
** what

 **leks:  
** u know  
the goal u said as a joke

 **marinara:  
** …  
the one when I was mocking luka?

 **leks:  
** ye  
so u gotta dye ur hair soon

 **marinara:  
** can I pretend that didn't happen?

 **leks:  
** people will spam the clip at u  
u gotta do it  
or u suck

 **marinara:  
** you think I suck anyway  
does it really matter

 **leks:  
** yes  
u gotta be ahead of luka  
to give him a reason to stream twice a day

 **marinara:  
** is that his excuse?

 **leks:  
** yes

 **marinara:  
** aaaah  
I don't want to!  
I was joking!

 **leks:  
** too late  
you said it  
the internet is forever

 **marinara:  
** but luka's hair is so patchy  
and like  
two different colours

 **leks:  
** u did it

 **marinara:  
** he'll get his payback

 **leks:  
** probably  
or u could ask rose to do it  
not like u said that it would be streamed  
ur safe

 **marinara:  
** but I still have to dye my hair pink?

 **leks:  
** not my problem  
do u want me to ask rose or not

 **marinara:  
** I guess  
when I get there

 **leks:  
** mari ur 13 subs away

 **marinara:  
** can people stop subscribing to me  
thanks

 **leks:  
** i'm gonna go renew mine

 **marinara:  
** why

 **leks:  
** 12 away  
what a good countdown

 **marinara:  
** I don't want pink hair

 **leks:  
** don't wimp out and have pink highlights  
all or nothing

 **marinara:  
** this is hell

 **leks:  
** it's ur fav colour right  
ur fine

 **marinara:  
** it's going to look so dumb?

 **leks:  
** so like u  
suitable

 **marinara:  
** bye

 **leks:  
** don't leave me  
i'm bored

 **marinara:  
** then just come over here  
I've got a couple of hours

 **leks:  
** nice

 **marinara:  
** my parents wanna see you

 **leks:  
** ye **  
**that's because they love me

 **marinara:  
** there's also leftover pastries that need to go today  
so you can bring them home

 **leks:  
** i love ur parents

 **marinara:  
** they know


	9. 09

**AN:** _ikihiyori_! you're so sweet and i want you to know that i love you! also it should be 100% obvious who milkshake is by now, right? we're so very close to the summary now and i'm not saying it's all juleka's fault.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: moo  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Thani:  
** That's not what I'm saying.  
But I'm saying not not saying that.

 **Alyarr:  
** I'll fucking fight you  
bring it on

 **marinara:  
** what

 **Thani:  
** You wouldn't.

 **Alyarr:  
** do you wanna bet

 **Thani:  
** Alya, you only ever kick my shins.

 **Alyarr:  
** is that a bad thing?  
it gets you to scream  
so it clearly works  
doesn't it nath

 **Thani:  
** If you want to look at it this way.  
I just don't understand why you want this so much.

 **Alyarr:  
** because you picked last time and it was shit  
deal with it

 **marinara:  
** did I come at a bad time  
or something  
because I'm so lost

 **ninny:  
** nah  
im just watching  
wishing i had popcorn

 **Alyarr:  
** nino

 **ninny:  
** hello  
that is me

 **Alyarr:  
** you'd eat any food with me  
wouldn't you?

 **ninny:  
** i mean  
within reason  
im picky sometimes

 **Alyarr:  
** useless

 **marinara:  
**?

 **Thani:  
** Hello, Mari.  
It's been a while.

 **marinara:  
** we spoke last night

 **Thani:  
** So long.  
I've missed your calming presence.

 **marinara:  
** literally less than twelve hours

 **Thani:  
** You keep me sane.

 **marinara:  
** thanks, I guess  
any chance you wanna explain

 **Thani:  
** Well, those two are talking in private now.

 **marinara:  
** and you know this how

 **Thani:  
** Alya's across the room from me.

 **marinara:  
** …  
so why are you on here  
be social

 **Thani:  
** Because she wanted to talk to Nino until dinner.  
Except we're not able to agree on what to get.

 **marinara:  
** what a dilemma

 **Thani:  
** I'm sensing the sarcasm.  
We usually take it in turns to pick, but she's being a dick.

 **marinara:  
** strong words from a not strong boy

 **Thani:  
** Are you trying to fight me now?  
I'll go die and never come online again.  
You'll be alone again.

 **marinara:  
** dramatic

 **Thani:  
** A bad threat since you have Adrien now.  
Where has your boy ran off to?

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
gross  
he's not here

 **Thani:  
** So you don't know.

 **marinara:  
** I never claimed to know everything!  
get off my back, thani  
I don't appreciate all your weight

 **Thani:  
** I'd crush you.

 **marinara:  
** exactly  
pls stop

 **Thani:  
** I'm trying to crush you with my thoughts.

 **marinara:  
** heavy thoughts then

 **Thani:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** sorry, couldn't resist  
anyway  
my sweet thani

 **thani:  
** Please, never say that again.

 **marinara:  
** sweet sweet boy

 **Thani:  
** I hate it.  
Thanks.

 **marinara:  
** xo  
I'm here to tell you important news

 **Thani:  
** What?

 **marinara:  
** just that I'll be busy for most the weekend  
don't think I'll be able to make it online

 **Thani:  
** Oh, really?

Have fun. I'll miss you.

 **marinara:  
** maybe that'll be sincere by next week  
you'll regret being mean to me

 **Thani:  
** We'll see.

 **marinara:  
** I might come on a bit during work  
but not promising anything  
it's going to be really busy

 **Thani:  
** Something big happening?

 **marinara:  
** I guess  
don't really want to get into it

 **Thani:  
** Okay, okay.  
Still, I hope it's not too bad.

 **marinara:  
** me too  
but we'll see  
tell the others when they log on

 **Thani:  
** Wait.  
You're going now?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
gonna sleep over at a friend's house  
before all the work hassle

 **Thani:  
** Bye, Mari.  
I'll probably be online in the evenings if you do make it online.

 **marinara:  
** counting on you to keep me sane

 **Thani:  
** That's my line to you.

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** nath  
I want to die  
pls  
come back and talk to me  
I'm so tired?

 **Thani:  
**?  
Go to sleep?

 **marinara:  
** I'm working!

 **Thani:  
** How long for?

 **marinara:  
** ahhh  
some  
hours more

 **Thani:  
** That's very specific.

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
I'm losing my mind

 **Thani:  
** Is that why you're appearing offline?

 **marinara:  
** listen  
I can only handle so much right now  
okay? **  
**I trust you  
you'd never make fun of me

 **Thani:  
** I wouldn't?  
Are you sure about that?

 **marinara:  
** you've suffered and stayed up with me before  
it's fine  
we're pals

 **Thani:  
** It's almost four.

 **marinara:  
** and you're up  
thanks

 **Thani:  
** I was about to go to bed, honestly.

 **marinara:  
** fuck  
abandoning me  
just like everyone else

 **Thani:  
** Mari, you're not even online.  
How long did you take to talk to me?

 **marinara:  
** not long  
I wasn't just lurking  
that's weird

 **Thani:  
** I'm sure.

 **marinara:  
** go to sleep  
sleep for the both of us  
imagine I'm sleeping with you

 **Thani:  
** That's a terrible thought now.  
Times really do change.

 **marinara:  
** do you know what I wish would change  
my clothes  
into pyjamas  
some cosy as pyjamas

 **Thani:  
** You work online.  
From home.

 **marinara:  
** I'm in a uniform today, okay  
it's needed

 **Thani:  
** I'm really concerned about you.

 **marinara:  
** go to sleep  
weirdo

 **Thani:  
** Good luck not losing your mind.  
Are you going to be on tomorrow at all?

 **marinara:  
** probably not  
working a bit more then sleeping for an eternity  
in pyjamas!

 **Thani:  
** Hope it's not too hot for you.

 **marinara:  
** august can eat my ass

 **Thani:  
** I'm not changing my name.

 **marinara:  
** you can't eat my ass  
that's banned

 **Thani:  
** Now I'm really going to leave you alone.  
You can't even bribe me to stay with ass.

 **marinara:  
** I stick to me word  
my ass is truthful

 **Thani:  
** Bye, Mari.

 **marinara:  
** see ya  
peace  
I'm crying

 **Thani:  
** Nice.

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** hi yes it's like  
ten in the morning  
but can you please come and bring me food  
or something  
I am dying

 **leks:  
** …  
do u want luka to come

 **marinara:  
** sure?  
chat would like that  
so go for it

 **leks:  
** i'll wake him up

 **marinara:  
** wait no  
he went to bed like two hours ago  
what are you doing  
it's too late isn't it  
you're gone  
fuck

 **leks:  
** he's coming

 **marinara:  
** thanks but also not thanks

 **leks:  
** ur welcome pinky

 **marinara:  
** I regret everything  
why am I doing this for so long?

 **leks:  
** ur an idiot  
u said ud do it  
so u have to

 **marinara:  
** I also said I'd dye my hair pink  
and that actually happened  
so why am I playing for twenty-four hours

 **leks:  
** pink looks good on u  
idiot  
luka's gone out the door

 **marinara:  
** aah did he remember my key

 **leks:  
** ye  
but his clothes don't match  
make sure to get that on cam

 **marinara:  
** I think my chat's too focused on my breakdown  
to even notice that

 **leks:  
** nice  
i'm gonna watch

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
gotta go back now  
I lied and said I needed a pee break

 **leks:  
** let me be ur secret girlfriend  
wtf

 **marinara:  
** bye

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
where are you?  
wait you're at work  
i'm so sorry for you  
ladybug dyed her hair!  
it's pink and really cute  
everyone's dying their hair?  
should i dye my hair  
will i be a cool kid then?  
fuck you're a work right  
i'll stop spam!

-x-

 **group chat: moo  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!  
mari!

 **Alyarr:  
** mari  
you've returned

 **marinara:  
** kill me  
I'm not fully dead yet

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** hi  
sorry, I can't show much more excitement  
I'm regretting everything

 **adrikins:  
** was work that bad?  
i really missed you!

 **marinara:  
** dead

 **Alyarr:  
** you also missed adrien fanboying  
the whole time

 **adrikins:  
** you missed so much!

 **Alyarr:  
** by so much he means one thing  
well two  
if you don't include him

 **marinara:  
** if I don't respond  
I've fallen asleep

I fucked up so many orders today

 **Alyarr:  
** rip

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sorry for the spam!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
it was cute  
sorry I haven't replied yet

 **adrikins:  
** it's okay!  
have you been sleeping well?  
and drinking water?

 **Alyarr:  
** babying the baby

 **marinara:  
** I'm bad  
I'll try and be healthy  
also shut up, Alya  
I'll fight you

 **Alyarr:  
** you're too tired to fight

 **marinara:  
** true

 **adrikins:  
** sleep!

 **marinara:  
** I might  
got a couple of hours before work  
but I wanted to check in with you guys

 **adrikins:  
** sleep is more important!

 **Alyarr:  
** such love  
what do you want from us

 **marinara:  
** to hear adrien fanboy  
go on

 **adrikins:  
** really?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, sure  
it'll make me happy  
you're cute when you're excited

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **Alyarr:  
** you've said the magic words  
unleashed the beast

 **marinara:  
** good

 **adrikins:  
** did you watch any of it!

 **marinara:  
** I caught some bits  
but I was mostly too busy

 **adrikins:  
** it was so good!  
i didn't think she'd actually  
do the pink hair?  
but she just turned on the cam after an hour  
and it was there!

 **marinara:  
** it's done really nice  
right!  
unlike luka's

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
juleka said her girlfriend did it!  
there's so many people that know her  
it's so weird!

 **marinara:  
** maybe you really know her  
without realising it  
wouldn't that be weirder

 **adrikins:  
** so weird!  
but i'd be so happy  
just to tell her thanks

 **marinara:  
** what would you be thanking her for?

 **adrikins:  
** finding her stream really cheered me up!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
it's hard to think of you as happy?  
maybe because of how you type

 **adrikins:  
** i guess!  
but i didn't really know what to do with my time  
then i found her!  
and i'm so glad i did!

 **marinara:  
** you could always  
type in chat and say that?

 **adrikins:  
** nononono  
no way!  
it moves too fast  
and what if she really does see it  
i'd die!

 **marinara:  
**?  
you don't want her to know?

 **adrikins:  
** yes but!  
not in front of everyone!  
maybe i'll get to say it if she ever goes to a con  
but that's probably never happening

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
she did kind of just do a face reveal  
maybe she will?

 **adrikins:  
** she doesn't even list her personal details  
unlike luka!

 **marinara:  
** privacy is good

 **adrikins:  
** i just want her to be happy!  
that's enough for me

 **marinara:  
** you sound like a proud parent right now

 **adrikins:  
** maybe i am!  
no one knows how old she is  
it's a mystery!

 **marinara:  
** luka's older

 **adrikins:  
**?  
what!

 **marinara:  
** juleka told me

 **adrikins:  
** juleka's telling you things!  
she only told me about the hair  
and nothing more!

 **marinara:  
** she likes me more  
sorry, buddy

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** I don't know much more  
sorry!  
but I'm glad you enjoyed the stream without me  
you didn't stay up too late, did you?

 **adrikins:  
** no no!  
but i did have it on when i fell asleep  
then i woke up to her screaming  
it was scary

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** plagg got scared too  
wait i have a picture  
 _(image: blackness)_

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
I can't make anything out?

 **adrikins:  
** he blends in with the darkness!  
isn't he cute!

 **marinara:  
** adorable

 **adrikins:  
** right!  
i'm so lucky

 **Alyarr:  
** can I stop lurking now  
because it feels really gross  
like I'm intruding on something

 **marinara:  
** you are  
go away

 **Alyarr:  
** ouch

 **adrikins:  
** alya!  
i thought you died!

 **Alyarr:  
** almost

 **marinara:  
** speaking of dying  
I'm gonna go sleep for a few hours  
see ya

 **adrikins:  
** sweet dreams!  
don't wake up to screams!

 **marinara:  
** it'll be me  
screaming about waking up

 **adrikins:  
** no!

-x-

 **group chat: moo  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **ninny:  
** mari  
are you dead

 **leks:  
** she ded

 **Alyarr:  
** dead

 **adrikins:  
** ghost!

 **marinara:  
** boo

 **Alyarr:  
** ew  
not a fan of that

 **marinara:  
** boo  
you whore

 **adrikins:  
** how are you!  
you're on later than usual  
did you get kept at work?

 **marinara:  
** oh  
yeah, for a bit  
had to talk to someone

 **Alyarr:  
** everything okay?  
unless this is you requesting new blenders  
because I'm all for that

 **marinara:  
** sadly not

 **ninny:  
** where you been  
we've missed you

 **leks:  
** have we

 **marinara:  
** hello to you too  
juleka

 **leks:  
** hi

 **marinara:  
** what are you doing here

 **leks:  
** being friendly  
is that ok

 **marinara:  
** ye

 **leks:  
** ye

 **ninny:  
** ye

 **Alyarr:  
** no bullying allowed

 **adrikins:  
** ye!

 **marinara:  
** no blenders  
sorry, pals

 **ninny:  
** you quit then

 **marinara:  
** what  
no  
I'm not quitting

 **ninny:  
** but you get milkshaked over  
and not in the sexy way

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** that's  
probably a really specific porn!

 **Alyarr:  
** don't look it up  
please  
stay innocent

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not the baby!

 **Alyarr:  
** your typing is

 **marinara:  
** okay  
I was talking to milkshake

 **ninny:  
** what

 **Alyarr:  
** bitch  
don't joke about this

 **leks:  
** that's not like u

 **marinara:  
** no  
for real

 **ninny:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** but you don't like her!

 **marinara:  
** I don't like you guys  
but I'm here

 **Alyarr:  
** wow

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** okay  
I like some of you

 **leks:  
** ye  
me

 **marinara:  
** definitely you  
and adrien  
that's about it

 **group chat: moo is now group chat: milknet!**

 **marinara:  
** definitely just you two  
fuck the others  
what the fuck

 **ninny:  
** love you

 **Alyarr:  
** platonically  
absolutely

 **marinara:  
** gross  
no thanks

 **Alyarr:  
** xo

 **adrikins:  
** what did you talk about!

 **marinara:  
** well  
do you want long or short  
because they're both weird?

 **ninny:  
** hit us with both

 **marinara:  
** no  
don't be greedy

 **leks:  
** long  
tell me everything

 **marinara:  
** bit too full on  
calm down

 **adrikins:  
** i want to know!  
you're not in a bad mood after  
are you?  
you usually dislike her

 **marinara:  
** I'm fine  
for once  
no anger  
it's like she was body swapped today?

 **Alyarr:  
** how bad

 **marinara:  
** well, no  
that's exaggerating  
she just spoke more than two words  
and didn't insult my clothes

 **ninny:  
** rare  
what happened?  
dont leave us hanging

 **marinara:  
** blender was shit as always  
but she stared me in the eyes  
when I passed her her drink?

 **Alyarr:  
** intense  
tell me more while I write this down  
to make fanfics

 **leks:  
** was it a stare of hatred  
or what

 **marinara:  
** idk  
but basically  
she asked to take me shopping?

 **adrikins:  
** what?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
so I'm going with her at the weekend

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
but you don't like her?

 **ninny:  
** my heart cant take this  
my otp is thriving

 **marinara:  
** fuck off  
it seemed like she was trying to be my friend  
or something  
so I thought why not?

 **adrikins:  
** you're nice!

 **marinara:  
** thank you for noticing?

 **ninny:  
** like  
not as a joke  
but did she ask as a date  
or friend  
because theres no context here

 **marinara:  
** friend  
your otp is dead  
live with it

 **ninny:  
** are you sure

 **leks:  
** ye  
like  
are u absolutely sure  
because ur kinda dumb

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck  
yes  
I'm very sure

 **adrikins:  
** are you though!

 **marinara:  
** yes!

 **leks:  
** are u

 **marinara:  
** yes  
fuck off  
my heart will never want milkshake

 **leks:  
** ye but  
what about ur vagina

 **marinara:  
** what the actual fuck  
juleka

 **ninny:  
** honest question  
less awkward coming from her  
so thanks juleka

 **leks:  
** np  
it's why i'm here  
to make everything not awk

 **marinara:  
** I hate you

 **leks:  
** answer the question

 **adrikins:  
** leave the baby alone!  
she's innocent!

 **marinara:  
** …  
thanks  
I think

 **adrikins:  
** i will protect you!

 **Alyarr:  
** you're not really able to  
sorry adrien

 **marinara:  
** you're all awful?

 **leks:  
** love u too  
so  
who does ur heart want then

 **marinara:  
** you to leave me alone

 **adrikins:  
** i second that!

 **ninny:  
** adrien  
youre too young to be a dad  
stop it

 **adrikins:  
** she's cute!  
and needs to be saved from all of you!

 **Alyarr:  
** we're only about about what her vagina wants  
it's not that bad

 **marinara:  
** vagina hurts my eyes

 **leks:  
** learn to use ur mouth then  
what are u doing

 **marinara:  
** end me

 **ninny:  
** juleka  
never leave

 **Alyarr:  
** I think mari wants to leave forever

 **marinara:  
** yes  
absolutely

 **leks:  
** now i just wanna know who she likes  
come on mari  
tell ur supportive friends

 **marinara:  
** not u

 **leks:  
** does that mean it's ladybug

 **ninny:  
** lame

 **marinara:  
** I will end you, nino  
ladybug is great and doesn't deserve your hate

 **ninny:  
** she dyed her hair pink

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah  
and I've dyed mine  
what's your point here?

 **ninny:  
** i  
i apologise

 **leks:  
** idiot  
stop hating on streamers  
ur being petty

 **ninny:  
** idk it just feels weird

 **marinara:  
** admiring someone isn't weird  
you're weird  
stop being mean about ladybug

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!

 **ninny:  
** is this an intervention

 **leks:  
** ye  
since she and luka are my friends  
stop being a dick

 **marinara:  
**!

 **leks:  
** mari

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **leks:  
** since ur not into milkshake

 **marinara:  
** I am not  
confirmed  
absolutely not into her  
we're going as friends  
because we're potential friends  
who could be friendly  
so please don't ship us

 **leks:  
** defensive but ok  
do u want me to find u a date

 **Alyarr:  
** juleka the matchmaker  
I thought I'd never see the day

 **leks:  
** i got a girlfriend before all of u  
so i'm the dating expert

 **ninny:  
** we're dating

 **leks:  
** gross

 **marinara:  
** what

 **leks:  
** do u want me to hook u up

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck  
no  
who even says that any more  
what are you doing

 **Alyarr:  
** being the chosen one

 **leks:  
** i have a friend u might like

 **marinara:  
** you don't know where I live  
or anything about me

 **ninny:  
** we know a little  
marinette  
nineteen

 **adrien:  
** works in a bakery and online!

 **Alyarr:  
** and your mother knows milkshake  
so that's a lot

 **marinara:  
** that's nothing

 **leks:  
** ur cool  
that's enough  
do u want me to introduce u to ladybug or not

 **adrikins:  
**!  
but you said you'd never do that!

 **marinara:  
** why are you doing this  
what

 **leks:  
** you like her right

 **marinara:  
** adrien likes her

 **leks:  
** adrien can fuck off

 **adrikins:  
** what!

 **leks:  
** what if i said she's allergic to cats

 **adrikins:  
**!  
i will fuck off!

 **marinara:  
** what  
no  
adrien

 **adrikins:  
** i will admire her from a safe distance!  
while loving plagg!

 **marinara:  
** this is ridiculous  
you are not setting me up with anyone  
and I am only maybe friends with milkshake  
nothing else is happening

 **ninny:  
** but it could be happening  
why deny fate  
marinette

 **marinara:  
** fate is not called juleka

 **ninny:  
** i meant milkshake but i see where your mind went  
very telling

 **Alyarr:  
** we're all supportive parents!

 **marinara:  
** do I have your support  
to leave and never come back?

 **leks:  
** only if u tell us about ur date  
later

 **marinara:  
** it is not a date!

 **adrikins:  
** are you okay!  
mari are they bullying you?  
do you need me to help

 **marinara:  
** you contributed!

 **adrikins:  
** nooo!  
i was just trying to blend in

 **leks:  
** u became evil  
well done

 **adrikins:  
** my dark backstory!

 **marinara:  
** you absolute monster


	10. 10

**AN:** nico. i hope someday you'll get a pet and unknowingly name it after someone you love. happy anniversary!

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** you said i could talk to you  
if i was upset right  
does that still stand

 **marinara:  
** yeah, of course!  
my replies might be a little slow  
because of work  
but absolutely, adrien

 **adrikins:  
** this might sound a bit weird  
but i'm happier talking to you here  
than when i'm actually with friends lately  
and i don't understand why that is  
i'm  
i don't hate them or anything  
but they seem to ask all the wrong things  
and it's really frustrating  
but you're not like that  
you've never made me sad

 **marinara:  
** you don't have to force yourself to hang out with them  
all the time, you know?  
you can take a break for a bit  
or say that you're busy  
if you're worried about offending them  
but friends should be fine with you saying no?

 **adrikins:  
** idk  
the ones at uni are all quite full on  
and they don't understand me  
not really  
they're really judging

 **marinara:  
** judging?  
what do you mean by that?

 **adrikins:  
** like  
they don't get why i stopped performing  
and keep pushing me to do it  
since it would give our department attention

 **marinara:  
** if you don't want to  
you don't have to  
can't one of them do it?

 **adrikins:  
** they've only been in a few comps  
and never the ones i was in  
so it wouldn't be enough  
that's their words

 **marinara:  
** you're still doing what's required for your classes, right?  
can't have you failing out of nowhere

 **adrikins:  
** no  
i'm doing that  
just nothing more which is why they're being so weird  
like one got mad at me the other day  
because i didn't want to play during our break

 **marinara:  
** that's  
kinda rude?  
idk much about your friends but that's not really  
a good reason to get mad  
even if you said you would and backed out  
it's nothing serious

 **adrikins:  
** idk

 **marinara:  
** are you doing okay out of classes?  
we don't really  
talk about our lives much so you don't have to tell me

 **adrikins:  
** aah when i'm not online?  
i guess  
it's really awkward at home

 **marinara:  
** any worse than at school?

 **adrikins:  
** about the same  
i think  
just in different ways

 **marinara:  
** at least you've got plagg right  
sorry, I'm not  
I don't know what to say when comforting someone?

 **adrikins:  
** you're listening  
that's enough!

 **marinara:  
** of course!  
I'll always listen to you  
even when you say dumb shit

 **adrikins:  
** you're sweet  
i know people grieve in different ways but  
i wish my dad would listen to me

 **marinara:  
** he doesn't?

 **adrikins:  
** not really  
he's clammed up since mom died  
and it's so fucking stifling at home  
even when he's not home

 **marinara:  
** he wanted to keep you at home, didn't he?  
instead of going to a dorm

 **adrikins:  
** yeah but  
that was even before she died  
now he's just enforcing it more  
despite not being home

 **marinara:  
** I don't really know what to say here  
sounds like your friends are kinda shitty  
honestly  
so there's not much escape for you?

 **adrikins:  
** talking to you is good  
and the others  
it's nice

 **marinara:  
** what about chloe?

 **adrikins:  
** o  
yeah  
she's great too but  
i don't see her like every day  
unlike the others

 **marinara:  
** you could just text her  
and tell her what's going on

 **adrikins:  
** no because then she'd actually say it to my dad  
and that'll be awkward

 **marinara:  
** she sounds like a good friend

 **adrikins:  
** yeah  
the best

 **marinara:  
** I'm glad you have her  
sorry that I can't give you any good advice  
I'm not in classes or anything  
to know how you feel

 **adrikins:  
** honestly you just did more  
than anyone else?

 **marinara:  
** but can I make you  
type cutely again?

 **adrikins:  
** maybe

 **marinara:  
** you're also cute  
not only your typing  
just so you know

 **adrikins:  
** you're a liar  
you're great at this comforting thing

 **marinara:  
** I hope that's sarcasm  
I'm so bad at this

 **adrikins:  
** i really appreciate it

 **marinara:  
** sorry for the slow replies  
what are you doing now?

 **adrikins:  
** idk  
might go to sleep

 **marinara:  
** don't want to watch ladybug?  
you normally do for a bit before bed

 **adrikins:  
** not really feeling it today

 **marinara:  
** really?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah  
just gonna go to bed  
thanks for listening to me

 **marinara:  
** oh, you're already gone  
but any time, adrien  
I wasn't kidding about us being friends

-x-

 **group chat: milknet!  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Thani:  
** How are you feeling about your date tomorrow?

 **marinara:  
** die  
you shouldn't listen to them

 **Alyarr:  
** how dare you?

 **marinara:  
** I fucking dare  
you jerk

 **ninny:  
** so mean  
so hurtful

 **Alyarr:  
** are you  
picking a bone with us

 **marinara:  
** don't start with another milk joke  
I fucking swear

 **Thani:  
** I'd never.

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm offended you think that we'd do that

 **marinara:  
** you've been doing it all week?

 **ninny:  
** no proof

 **marinara:  
** my suicidal thoughts are proof  
of you all bullying me

 **Alyarr:  
** we love you

 **marinara:  
** yeah, I'm sure  
adrien not here yet?

 **ninny:  
** he went afk just before you got here  
probably because of plagg  
but thats just my guess

 **marinara:  
** oh no  
not plagg

 **Alyarr:  
** let's be real  
it's always plagg?

 **Thani:  
** Plagg needs his attention.

 **Alyarr:  
** true

 **marinara:  
** do you know who doesn't need attention?  
adrien the puppy

 **Alyarr:  
** did you see him!

 **marinara:  
** adrien's a girl

 **ninny:  
** no!  
keep her name as adrien!

 **marinara:  
** I will  
since I wasn't paying attention to the owner  
to actually know her real name

 **Alyarr:  
** where did you meet them?

 **marinara:  
** going up the stairs

 **ninny:  
** did you pet the puppy

 **marinara:  
** honestly I was talking on the phone  
and not really paying attention  
so she might've scared me

 **Alyarr:  
** nice

 **marinara:  
** adrien the puppy is big  
big girl

 **ninny:  
** big girl!

 **Thani:  
** Does she feel big compared to you?

 **Alyarr:  
** wow way to make her feel good about herself  
poor adrien's gonna get a big ego

 **marinara:  
** leave me alone

 **Thani:  
** You know I love you.

 **Alyarr:  
** is that the police I hear  
ready to arrest you both  
stop it

 **marinara:  
** you literally started it?

 **ninny:  
** alya  
you know i love you right

 **Alyarr:  
** I mean  
you should?

 **ninny:  
** pls dont call the police on me

 **Alyarr:  
** be nice and we'll see

 **marinara:  
** why is the group chat name this

 **ninny:  
** because we ship it  
stupid question

 **marinara:  
** no  
I mean  
why not milknette

 **Thani:  
** You should just accept it.

 **Alyarr:  
** nath's already made that complaint  
we're sticking with it

 **ninny:  
** just to annoy him

 **marinara:  
** …  
poor nath

 **adrikins:  
** what?

 **marinara:  
** adrien!

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
you're here!

 **marinara:  
** yeah!  
sorry I had to go shopping before I came home

 **Alyarr:  
** why don't you ever apologise to me

 **marinara:  
** you never deserve an apology

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
I'm your number one fan

 **ninny:  
** isnt it adrien now

 **adrikins:  
** no, it's me!  
mari likes me more too

 **marinara:  
** you don't become the number one fan  
by being liked the most  
that's kinda mean

 **ninny:  
** poor nath would never be classed as a fan

 **marinara:  
** I like nath second best

 **Thani:  
** I'm touched.

 **marinara:  
** scratch that  
third

 **ninny:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** sorry it was weird

 **adrikins:  
** i will fight you alya!

 **Alyarr:  
** no need  
I give it up  
you can love mari most

 **adrikins:  
** good!

 **Alyarr:  
** but you need to know  
adrien's a girl

 **Thani:  
** A big girl.

 **ninny:  
** the biggest girl

 **adrikins:  
** aren't we past the bad insults?  
i haven't been called a girl for years!  
we're done with it!

 **marinara:  
** adrien the puppy  
is a girl

 **Thani:  
** You had to ruin it quickly.

 **marinara:  
** I promised adrien we'd go play  
can't let him get caught up in drama  
and ditch me

 **Alyarr:  
** selfish

 **adrikins:  
** did you get a picture!  
please please tell me you did

 **marinara:  
** nah  
I was preoccupied

 **Alyarr:  
** talking to lover girl on the phone

 **marinara:  
** I will actually end you

 **adrikins:  
** talk to me instead!  
i want the attention!

 **marinara:  
** at least you're honest  
let's ditch these losers

 **ninny:  
** my feelings hurt

 **adrikins:  
** bye!

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** thanks for the other night!

 **marinara:  
** yeah, of course  
whenever you want  
well  
not when you want  
since you shouldn't want that

 **adrikins:  
** i do want to talk to you  
so it counts!

 **marinara:  
** talk to me when you're happy

 **adrikins:  
** i'll even talk to you when i'm  
not happy or sad!

 **marinara:  
** that's a big promise to try and keep

 **adrikins:  
** i'll pinky promise it

 **marinara:  
** I just had a heart attack

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** why are you so cute?

 **adrikins:  
** it's my charm!

 **marinara:  
** so self-aware  
dangerous

 **adrikins:  
** being honest is good!  
besides  
chloe wouldn't lie to me

 **marinara:  
** about being cute?  
I'm sure you were told that before her

 **adrikins:  
** i always got told it with her!  
then a lot more growing up  
it was a bit weird

 **marinara:  
** oh no  
could your fragile masculinity take being called cute?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
i got called pretty boy a lot too  
which i didn't realise was supposed to be an insult first!

 **marinara:  
** people are lame  
especially kids  
kids really suck

 **adrikins:  
** were they mean to you too?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
of course

 **adrikins:  
** i hope it wasn't too bad!

 **marinara:  
** aah, I got used to it?  
some were racist so that was lame  
but teachers usually caught onto that  
just awkward going home and asking about a slang word  
not realising it was an insult

 **adrikins:  
** that's worse than pretty boy!

 **marinara:  
** well  
I get called pretty girl now so it's fair

 **adrikins:  
**!  
i'm sure you are a pretty girl!

 **marinara:  
** you haven't seen me

 **adrikins:  
** no but  
your personality is pretty!  
i feel happy just talking to you  
so seeing your face would do that and more!

 **marinara:  
** how are you so?  
smooth?

 **adrikins:  
** i shaved today

 **marinara:  
** I shaved last night  
you've beaten me

 **adrikins:  
**!  
i'm sure you're still smooth  
smooth and pretty!

 **marinara:  
** nothing compared to you

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
that's bad talk  
you are beautiful!

 **marinara:  
** stop!

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
i am so lucky to have you as a friend  
and i need you to feel appreciated!

 **marinara:  
** I feel more than appreciated right now

 **adrikins:  
** good!  
and  
and if you ever need to talk  
i'm here for you!

 **marinara:  
** thanks, adrien  
that's sweet of you

 **adrikins:  
** i won't feel jealous if you go to nath instead!

 **marinara:  
** that doesn't sound sincere this time

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not jealous!

 **marinara:  
** are you sure

 **adrikins:  
** okay  
i am a bit!  
when i go to bed and you two stay up talking  
i feel like i'm missing out!

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
you'd be missing out on sleep  
don't be like us with our bad schedules

 **adrikins:  
** but you're so close!

 **marinara:  
** I'm also close with you!  
comparing yourself to anyone else is dumb  
you're great, adrien  
you don't need to change

 **adrikins:  
**!  
now i feel appreciated!

 **marinara:  
** well  
good  
I like you

 **adrikins:  
** I like you too!

 **marinara:  
** but I should make dinner soon  
that means leaving you

 **adrikins:  
** nooo  
i'd suffer from hunger just for you

 **marinara:  
** no  
you only do that if plagg's sitting on you

 **adrikins:  
** moving him is a sin!  
he's a big baby and screams if i do!

 **marinara:  
** are you sure it's not you  
who screams?

 **adrikins:  
** i only scream at how beautiful you are!

 **marinara:  
** pls stop

 **adrikins:  
** noo!

 **marinara:  
** I'm going to go stuff my face  
farewell

 **adrikins:  
** i'll count the moments until i see you again!

 **marinara:  
** stop!

-x-

 **group chat: milknet!  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** what up

 **Alyarr:  
** mari!  
how'd it go

 **marinara:  
** oh  
right  
I cancelled so it didn't happen

 **ninny:  
** what?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm so sorry!

 **marinara:  
** it's fine  
I wasn't feeling good this morning  
so I've just been in bed all day

 **Alyarr:  
** you feeling better now?

 **marinara:  
** a bit  
just came on to tell you guys  
so I don't get hassled

 **ninny:  
** we would never hassle you  
how dare you

 **marinara:  
** mmm

 **group chat: milknet! is now group chat: adrien's a big girl**

 **marinara:  
** more appropriate

 **Alyarr:  
** you didn't reschedule?

 **marinara:  
** nah  
she's busy and I don't really care that much  
we'll go back to our angry stares at work  
it's fine

 **ninny:  
** aw  
sorry that happened  
you couldve been pals

 **marinara:  
** already got you losers  
it's all good

 **adrikins:  
** please get better!

 **marinara:  
** I'll be fine

 **leks has joined the chat**

 **leks:  
** hi

 **ninny:  
** hey juleka  
how you

 **leks:  
** cold

 **marinara:  
** it's almost august

 **leks:  
** do u know what august means  
adrien

 **adrikins:  
**?  
no i do not!  
what does it mean!

 **ninny:  
** tell us oh wise one

 **leks:  
** not u nino  
ur a cuck

 **ninny:  
** …  
did you just call me a cuck

 **Alyarr:  
** do you need glasses  
oh wait

 **ninny:  
** you wear them too?

 **Alyarr:  
** not the point

 **leks:  
** ladybug birthday  
is in august

 **adrikins:  
** no way!  
it is?

 **leks:  
** ye  
but even if u type it on stream  
no one will believe u  
but she will know u mean it

 **ninny:  
** ladybug will think youre a fucking stalker  
dont do that

 **leks:  
** or i can give her a warning  
don't be a cuck

 **ninny:  
** stop calling me that!

 **leks:  
** then stop cuck

 **Alyarr:  
** wise words  
truly the wise one

 **leks:  
** i'm smart

 **adrikins:  
** absolutely!  
you promise you'll warn her so she's not scared?

 **leks:  
** ye  
she knows i've told u few about her  
so it's fine

 **adrikins:  
** nice!

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **leks:  
** why aren't u telling me off

 **marinara:  
** because it won't make you stop  
so what's really the point

 **leks:  
** wat

 **marinara:  
** idk sorry  
just kinda pissed off

 **leks:  
** what happened  
do u want me to come over  
or luka

 **marinara:  
** no no  
I have to stream soon anyway  
it would be pointless

 **leks:  
** why

 **marinara:  
** why what

 **leks:  
** why u being emo  
what's wrong

 **marinara:  
** I lied earlier

 **leks:  
** idk what ur on about  
i just logged on

 **marinara:  
** oh right  
I went out with milkshake today

 **leks:  
** o ya  
that was a thing  
didn't go well?

 **marinara:  
** it was nice  
she was a bit blunt at times but then she like  
tried to apologise?  
so she wasn't the bitch I thought she was

 **leks:  
** so what

 **marinara:  
** so  
she asked to take a picture of the two of us  
then asked which id of mine to tag it to

 **leks:  
** o

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
I tried to play it off  
like  
do you mean you want my id  
but she asked if she wanted it on ladybug or not

 **leks:  
** o  
wait

 **marinara:  
** she didn't mention it  
like at all  
I'm not even kidding?  
I had no idea that she even knew?

 **leks:  
** ye but  
u had a good time right

 **marinara:  
** idk  
she only asked to be my friend after I dyed my hair  
so that means she recognised me

 **leks:  
** but she's seen u  
before

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
what if she was just racist and thought I looked like ladybug  
that would've been offensive

 **leks:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** just a bit pissed that she only thought I was worth her time  
after confirming it was me  
like  
she's the first fan to meet me irl too

 **leks:  
** but she didn't freak out  
did she  
or what

 **marinara:  
** not really?  
it was pretty chill like I said  
we ate cake and everything

 **leks:  
** so why are u mad

 **marinara:  
** I already said  
she didn't want to before she knew I was actually ladybug

 **leks:  
** so what  
do u think she could be ur friend or not

 **marinara:  
** idk  
she hasn't texted me since after  
and I haven't checked to see which id she's used  
I really don't want people to harass my parents

 **leks:  
** ur overreacting  
stop

 **marinara:  
** make me

 **leks:  
** i would but u told me not to come over  
rude

 **marinara:  
** true

 **leks:  
** luka says to talk to him

 **marinara:  
**?  
you told him?

 **leks:  
** why wouldn't i  
use ur brain

 **marinara:  
** I guess I didn't say not to

 **leks:  
** ur welcome  
anyway  
he's met fans irl so he gets it  
talk to him  
i'm just the lame not famous one here

 **marinara:  
** you're famous in my heart

 **leks:  
** ok future birthday girl

 **marinara:  
** you're the worst

-x-

 **group chat: adrien's a big girl  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hey

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!

 **marinara:  
** hi  
yes  
that's me

 **ninny:  
** just in time for his breakdown  
welcome  
adriens going to die

 **Alyarr:  
** don't kill him

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** mariertsejte!

 **marinara:  
** hi  
that might be me  
yes

 **adrikins:  
** marisgsgs!

 **marinara:  
** sure

 **Alyarr:  
** nice

 **marinara:**  
what

 **adrikins:  
** aklsjgshdgjhdh!  
maranree!

 **marinara:  
** ahh  
what

 **ninny:  
** i like that one

 **group chat: adrien's a big girl is now group chat: maranree**

 **leks:  
** mari

 **marinara:  
** yeah?

 **leks:  
** u might wanna leave

 **marinara:  
** why  
what

 **adrikins:  
**!  
i'm so? jealous?

 **marinara:  
** why

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: blonde-haired girl smiling beside ladybug)  
_!

 **leks:  
** that's ur friend right

 **adrikins:  
** my best! friend!  
and she didn't even tell me?  
i'm so upset?

 **ninny:  
** promote me  
i told you

 **Alyarr:  
** he's been like this for  
like twenty minutes

 **leks:  
** ye  
dramatic

 **adrikins:  
** i knew chloe played in secret!  
but this  
this betrayal!  
i cannot take it!  
she never said she liked ladybug

 **leks:  
** everyone likes ladybug  
she's nice

 **ninny:  
** youre biased

 **leks:  
** shut ur mouth

 **Alyarr:  
** did they just meet on the street or what  
you haven't told us

 **adrikins:  
** idk she's not answering me!  
the description just said they had cake together!  
and another pic of ladybug drinking!

 **marinara:  
** what?

 **adrikins:  
** _(image: ladybug sipping from a mug)  
_!

 **Alyarr:  
** the jealousy is rising

 **leks:  
** that looks candid

 **adrikins:  
** i'm so jealous!  
everyone's meeting her!

 **ninny:  
** is it anything to boast about tho  
she's just a gamer?

 **adrikins:  
** stop!  
i appreciate her!

 **leks:  
** i'll end u nino

 **ninny:  
** biased

 **Alyarr:  
** wait  
you're friends with chloé?  
with the é?

 **adrikins:  
** best friends!

 **Alyarr:  
** adrien she has almost a million followers?  
wtf  
adrien is this you  
 _(image: adrien laughing with his shirt wet)_

 **adrikins:  
** oh no!  
my nipples!

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** fuck


	11. 11

**AN:** guessing how _hilzabub_ almost directly quoted this chapter as a shitpost keeps me up at night? i'm never going to sleep again.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **leks:  
** so

 **marinara:  
** so

 **leks:  
** did she come into ur work

 **marinara:  
** chloé?  
no, she didn't  
honestly surprised at that  
but relieved, I guess

 **leks:  
** what do u mean u guess  
u were panicking

 **marinara:  
** because I like what we have going on  
with everyone  
I mean  
I don't want to change that?

 **leks:  
** pussy

 **marinara:  
** fuck off  
idk it's  
it's not very appealing?

 **leks:  
** u like them right

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
but we've only known each other for  
ahh  
I think it's three months now?  
almost four

 **leks:  
** ok  
and u just  
don't want them to ever meet u?  
i'm not one to even talk about that  
but they asked why u were so off yesterday

 **marinara:  
** could just be an off day  
they didn't ask me directly so  
whatever

 **leks:  
** have u talked to milkshake

 **marinara:  
** she text me this afternoon  
but I was working so I didn't reply

 **leks:  
**?  
u always reply to me

 **marinara:  
** I like you

 **leks:  
** gross  
but i like u too  
even tho u pick my brother over me

 **marinara:  
** he's cool

 **leks:  
** ye  
he's the best

 **marinara:  
** he's telling me to talk to chloé  
to see whether she actually wants to be my friend

 **leks:  
** he didn't phrase it like that  
right  
because that's dumb

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
for your wonderful response  
no, I just summed it up that way

 **leks:  
** ok ok  
try not to be so emo  
people think ur depressed

 **marinara:  
**?  
think

 **leks:  
** calm down there  
buddy  
no life story time

 **marinara:  
** hilarious

 **leks:  
** i am

 **marinara:  
** I'll try my best

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** hey  
mari?  
are you there

 **marinara:  
** aah  
yeah, I am  
what's up?

 **adrikins:  
** you're quiet so i thought  
you might've left yourself online or something

 **marinara:  
** oh, no  
just looking at the chat  
trying to find a good place to jump in  
I guess  
don't really feel like talking right now

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
i can go?  
if you don't want to

 **marinara:  
** no, no  
this is fine?  
it's just us two so it's not as overwhelming

 **adrikins:  
** i understand!  
i was so lost when i first joined  
especially because of the nicknames!  
i think you whenever i see your sauce

 **marinara:  
** why are you looking at my sauce

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sorry!

 **marinara:  
** you okay, adrien?  
are things better at uni now  
or not?

 **adrikins:  
** aaah  
let's not talk about that!  
i'm here to check on you  
not rant about my problems!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
but you've already checked on me?

 **adrikins:  
** and it's very clear you're not okay!

 **marinara:  
** I'm fine, really  
it'll pass

 **adrikins:  
** remember  
i am here if you want to talk!  
but i could try and beat up whoever's made you sad  
i can't say i'll succeed  
but i'll try!

 **marinara:  
** as sweet as that is  
I really don't think you should do that

 **adrikins:  
** i'd do it for you!

 **marinara:  
** careful  
you're going to make me swoon

 **adrikins:  
** that's the dream!

 **marinara:  
** cute

 **adrikins:  
** no, you!

 **marinara:  
** I'm not getting into this with you  
but you really did make me laugh  
so, thank you

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
that's my job now  
offical job title  
forget my skillful fingers  
it's making you smile that my life's about

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
you could make me smile with your fingers?

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** just stating the truth

 **adrikins:  
** bad!  
you're an innocent baby

 **marinara:  
** that shouldn't be corrupted by your fingers?  
That's a shame  
wait  
is piano fingers actually a thing  
do you get compliments on them

 **adrikins:  
** idk!  
this isn't a comfortable subject!

 **marinara:  
** sorry, sorry  
I'd never want to make you uncomfortable

 **adrikins:  
** i didn't mean you!  
you'd never do that  
i'm not  
very good at noticing when people flirt with me?

 **marinara:  
** oh, yeah  
you said that before

 **adrikins:  
** i'm awful!  
chloe has to tell me most of the time  
and that's so awkward!  
she's so mean

 **marinara:  
** oh  
is she?

 **adrikins:  
** in the best way  
but it makes me want to curl into a ball  
and die!

 **marinara:  
** poor baby

 **adrikins:  
** you're the baby here!  
a sad baby  
it's my duty to cheer you up

 **marinara:  
** you really don't have to  
idk how to talk about it  
but I appreciate you trying

 **adrikins:  
** would you like it  
if i told you about my day?

 **marinara:  
** sure?  
that'll be nice

 **adrikins:  
** okay!

-x-

 **group chat: maranree  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **leks:  
** mari

 **marinara:  
** hey

 **Alyarr:  
** mari!  
there you are  
did you work late today?

 **marinara:  
** oh, no  
just took my time coming online  
that's all

 **ninny:  
** lazy ass  
where have you been

 **marinara:  
** sat on my sofa  
wondering whether to get a bigger dog than adrien

 **ninny:  
** to make more noise than him?  
good plan

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
I thought so

 **Alyarr:  
** that'll just keep you up even more  
and you've never had a pet  
right

 **marinara:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** oh  
maybe dont start out of nowhere

 **leks:  
** u can barely take care of urself  
no pet

 **marinara:  
** supportive

 **leks:  
** no pets

 **Alyarr:  
** rip  
if juleka can't trust you  
how can any of us?

 **ninny:  
** juleka is the wisest of us all

 **leks:  
** ye  
worship me

 **marinara:  
** that is the response of a child

 **leks:  
** do u wanna fight me

?

 **marinara:  
** give me your address

 **leks:  
** i said fight  
not stalk

 **marinara:  
** I'm not meeting you down some alley  
you'll just stab me

 **leks:  
** u didn't say no knives

 **marinara:  
** it's implied?

 **ninny:  
** what the fuck

 **marinara:  
** no scissors either

 **leks:  
** but i'm good at scissoring

 **Alyarr:  
** get your gay ass out of here  
this isn't safe for the children to read

 **marinara:  
**?  
I am not a child

 **ninny:  
** youre a grumpy child

 **marinara:  
** a grumpy child who can spawncamp you again  
do you want that?

 **ninny:  
** are you threatening me

 **marinara:  
** maybe

 **ninny:  
** how dare?

 **marinara:  
** do you wanna play  
any of you?

 **leks:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** you haven't touched your account in months  
you don't count

 **leks:  
** ouch  
don't delete me

 **marinara:  
** I don't even have you on my friends list?

 **leks:  
** am i in ur heart tho

 **marinara:  
** sadly

 **Alyarr:  
** lowkey gonna start shipping you two soon  
calm down

 **marinara:  
** …  
why can't I be happy alone  
stop shipping me with people

 **leks:  
** ye  
she's busy pining as it is

 **ninny:  
** right  
an actual ladybug fangirl

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

 **leks:  
** i lied before

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
lied?

 **leks:  
** ye  
i know mari irl

 **ninny:  
** what

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
excuse you?

 **leks:  
** she actually knows ladybug  
idk why she's being so weird here  
probably because of u nino

 **ninny:  
** me?  
what  
mari?

 **marinara:  
**?

 **leks:  
** i've seen them flirt  
if u know what i mean

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
so you know mari

 **leks:  
** ya  
we're friend

 **Alyarr:  
** just friend  
not friends

 **leks:  
** good friend

 **marinara:  
** stop talking shit

 **leks:  
** best friend

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
I don't believe you?  
mari would've told us

 **leks:  
** u don't believe a lot of things  
adrien wasn't admitting  
he knew his friend right

 **Alyarr:  
** that's completely different

 **leks:  
** not really?  
his friend has a few followers online  
ladybug has close to six thousands viewers a night

 **marinara:  
** stop?

 **ninny:  
**?  
mari are you gonna confirm this or what

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **leks:  
** i knew her before this chat  
that's why she's so  
weird with me

 **ninny:  
** i thought you two just had tension  
sometimes

 **leks:  
** it's called banter

 **Alyarr:  
** that  
kinda makes? sense?  
but I'm still not seeing a confirmation

 **marinara:  
** no, I have not flirted with ladybug  
yes, I know juleka

 **ninny:  
** dude  
what the fuck

 **marinara:  
** I didn't know she was in here  
it was weird

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah but  
you haven't even shown us a picture yet?

 **marinara:  
** probably still not going to  
stranger danger and all that

 **leks:  
** good luck  
she's private as fuck

 **ninny:  
**?  
im not sorry for talking shit about your friend

 **marinara:  
** I never expected an apology?  
you're fine  
there's always gonna be  
idiots

 **Alyarr:  
** babe  
she means you

 **ninny:  
** thanks for clearing that up  
it really wasnt obvious

 **leks:  
** otp

 **Alyarr:  
** I thought your otp was milknet

 **leks:  
** milknet is dead  
spoiled  
spoiled milk

 **marinara:  
** let's not bring it back to that

 **ninny:  
** lets go back to your private ways  
not telling us if were being jerks

 **Alyarr:  
** he means him

 **marinara:  
**?  
no?  
really, it's fine  
I've heard worse

 **ninny:  
** yeah but  
now i feel awkward as fuck  
two of you are her friends now?

 **marinara:  
** it's fine?  
not like we're telling her shit you say  
or that she'd even care  
it's nothing

 **ninny:  
** awkward still

 **marinara:  
** nevermind  
let's go back to milknet  
because it's dead

 **leks:  
** dead and buried  
in my garden

 **marinara:  
** thanks

 **Alyarr:  
** wait  
so if you two know each other  
is it like  
close friends  
or you knew each other before  
and text sometimes

 **leks:  
** why

 **ninny:  
** we need context  
you seem pretty chill here

 **marinara:  
** I've met her girlfriend

 **leks:  
** aa  
close i guess  
ladybug buys me cakes from her bakery

 **ninny:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** no discount

 **ninny:  
** mari why  
are you  
like  
in the middle of everything

 **Alyarr:  
** mari makes the world go round  
everyone knows that

 **leks:  
** we love mari

 **marinara:  
** I'm grossed out

 **ninny:  
** nevermind  
i hate you mari

 **marinara:  
** xo

 **Alyarr:  
** cute

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck was that

 **leks:  
**?  
being smart

 **marinara:  
**?  
how the fuck was that smart

 **leks:  
** because ur not  
gonna tell them anything  
are u

 **marinara:  
** that's my choice?  
they're online friends  
not irl ones

 **leks:  
** online friends that live near u

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** mari

 **marinara:  
** I'm mad at you  
that wasn't yours to say?

 **leks:  
** ur not mad at me

 **marinara:  
** I can try to be

 **leks:  
** it's not like i'm saying  
hey look she's ladybug  
isn't that cool  
i'm not a dick

 **marinara:  
** you're a little dick

 **leks:  
** tiny dick

 **marinara:  
** yeah

 **leks:  
** nice

 **marinara:  
** they're online  
they're like  
my other friends?  
I don't want to mix them up

 **leks:  
** …  
mari

 **marinara:  
** I didn't phrase that right

 **leks:  
** u mean u don't want  
them involved with stream right

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
that's already stressful as it is  
I don't really want them knowing

 **leks:  
** weird but ok

 **marinara:  
** stop judging

 **leks:  
** i'm just confused  
u have like  
two friends

 **marinara:  
** thanks for that

 **leks:  
** am i wrong

 **marinara:  
** no  
but still

 **leks:  
** mari  
other than work  
u only leave the house to see me or luka

 **marinara:  
** not seeing the problem there  
they're my friends online?  
they aren't asking me for anything  
and I love that

 **leks:  
** ye  
but i just say no when they ask to meet up  
it's simple?  
u don't have to create like  
a whole new identity

 **marinara:  
** I haven't created a new one  
that's ridiculous  
I've just excluded some things

 **leks:  
** things that milkshake can just tell them?

 **marinara:  
** aaa  
yeah

 **leks:  
** clap clap

 **marinara:  
** is that fucking sarcasm

 **leks:  
** u dug a fucking hole  
because ur stubborn

 **marinara:  
** you're so supportive

 **leks:  
** i haven't outed u  
have i

 **marinara:  
** we're best friends irl now  
so yes

 **leks:  
** i'm sorry is that wrong?  
am i being demoted

 **marinara:  
** I like it better  
when you're quiet in person

 **leks:  
** fuck u

 **marinara:  
** fight me

 **leks:  
** do u wanna get dinner somewhere  
after i finish practice

 **marinara:  
** aah  
as long as I'm back for stream?  
should be fine

 **leks:  
** cool

-x-

 **group chat: maranree  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
you're back!

 **marinara:  
** from a riverting day of work  
with milkshake on my clothes

 **ninny:  
** otp

 **marinara:  
** fuck off  
not that milkshake  
other people order them too

 **adrikins:  
** i've been waiting for you!

 **marinara:  
** I'm scared now  
why

 **adrikins:  
** to show you this!  
 _(image: plagg staring wide-eyed at the camera)_

 **Alyarr:  
** aw  
he's cute

 **adrikins:  
** right!

 **marinara:  
** my woes have been cleansed  
I am pure now  
heaven will accept me

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **ninny:  
** what does his meow sound like  
is it deep  
is it high  
is it a squeak?

 **adrikins:  
** oh!  
why don't you come here and find out?  
he makes ridiculous sounds

 **Alyarr:  
** are you  
asking him there to murder him  
or is that a legit invite

 **marinara:  
** it's adrien  
it's legit

 **ninny:  
** hell yeah, dude  
id be up for that

 **adrikins:  
** really!

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
we live near right?  
sounds good to me

 **adrikins:  
** great!

 **Alyarr:  
** I want to meet plagg  
take pictures for me

 **marinara:  
** can you get a video  
I wanna hear him

 **adrikins:  
** I'd invite you all!  
but you probably wouldn't come

 **Alyarr:  
** not visiting for like a month  
is the offer open for then

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
it can be whenever!

 **ninny:  
** pm me so we can sort this out  
mari already knows too much about me

 **marinara:  
** I'm watching you  
lahiffe

 **ninny:  
** see  
look at that  
i dont even know anything about her  
its unfair

 **adrikins:  
** you know that she's cute!  
that counts

 **Alyarr:  
** cute baby

 **marinara:  
** die

 **adrikins:  
** for real, alya!  
you really can come over if you want  
my dad won't mind

 **Alyarr:  
** is he a nice dad  
or what

 **adrikins:  
** that's  
a good joke!

 **ninny:  
** understood

 **marinara:  
** please give me pictures

 **ninny:  
** of his dad?  
thats fucked up mari

 **marinara:  
** what  
no  
I meant of plagg

 **Alyarr:  
** stop being into older men  
it's weird

 **marinara:  
** when have I ever been into anyone?

 **ninny:  
** milkshake

 **marinara:  
** purely your imagination?  
fuck off

 **leks has joined the chat**

 **Alyarr:  
** look at that  
her gay senses were tingling

 **leks:  
** wat

 **marinara:  
** oh, fuck off  
I don't deserve this treatment

 **ninny:  
** adrien

 **adrikins:  
** nino?

 **ninny:  
** did you know these two gays  
are friends irl

 **adrikins:  
** who?

 **Alyarr:  
** juleka and mari  
they duped us all

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** really?  
wow you must live close by juleka!

 **marinara:  
** you know all these secrets  
lahiffe  
why are you complaining

 **ninny:  
** complaining gives me life  
its how i stay alive

 **Alyarr:  
** I thought I gave you a reason to live?

 **ninny:  
** and a reason to complain  
thanks babe

 **Alyarr:  
** true love

 **adrikins:  
** wait!  
do you really know each other irl?

 **leks:  
** ye  
she's just shy

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

 **leks:  
** look at that

 **adrikins:  
** that!  
is adorable!

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** no wonder you're so mean!  
to each other!  
it all makes sense now!

 **leks:  
** adrien  
u ok

 **ninny:  
** hes found the meaning of life  
give him a minute

 **Alyarr:  
** you mean another connection to ladybug

 **adrikins:  
** ladybug!

 **marinara:  
** …  
yes, I know her  
we're friends  
no, I'm not telling any of you about her  
let's leave it at that

 **adrikins:  
** you know her!

 **leks:  
** intimately  
if u get me

 **marinara:  
** juleka!

 **ninny:  
** im choking

 **leks:  
** real intimate

 **adrikins:  
**!  
but  
she's a baby?

 **Alyarr:  
** a baby who can't be shipped with milkshake any more  
slutty baby

 **marinara:  
** I  
was never with milkshake  
can you not

 **ninny:  
** sluttiest baby

 **leks:  
** a loose woman

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
you're so blessed!

 **marinara:  
** stop

 **adrikins:  
** you're cute!  
and so nice!  
and you know so many cool people!

 **Alyarr:  
** look at that  
someone's complimenting you juleka  
isn't that rare

 **leks:  
** he just wants me to meet his cat  
no adrien  
i will not

 **adrikins:  
** you'll love him one day!

 **leks:  
** ill love him from afar

 **ninny:  
** tragically romantic  
now please tell me more

 **Alyarr:  
** of mari's love life?  
yes please  
do grace us with that knowledge

 **marinara:  
** there is none  
I am dating no one

 **leks:  
** they share a sofa  
when everyone's together

 **adrikins:  
** cute!  
i don't know who's luckier  
mari or ladybug!

 **marinara:  
** she's telling lies?

 **Alyarr:  
** mari  
you're not trusted to tell us anything about yourself  
we get our info elsewhere

 **ninny:  
** from adrien and juleka  
our trusted sources

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **leks:  
** they're together a lot  
one on one  
if u know what i mean

 **marinara:  
** no!

 **ninny:  
** my third eye is opening  
im understanding the universe

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **leks:  
** that's why mari is so good  
at game

 **Alyarr:  
** is that my third eye  
or is it a headache from all this info  
idk I'm not used to learning anything about her  
it's overwhelming

 **adrikins:  
** so!  
ladybug taught mari?  
and mari taught me?

 **leks:  
** ye

 **adrikins:  
** therefore!  
i am partly ladybug's protégé! **  
**

**marinara:  
** …  
what  
u can put an accent on that but not chloé?

 **leks:  
** don't shame him  
he's having an awakening

 **adrikins:  
** that's? so? cool?  
mari how did you meet!

 **Alyarr:  
** you're asking the wrong person  
direct it at juleka instead

 **leks:  
** idk  
friends since they were little  
practically shared a womb

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **ninny:  
** but you didnt tell me to stop talking shit  
about your friend

 **Alyarr:  
** she did  
you just didn't listen

 **ninny:  
** true

 **marinara:  
** …

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** as much as I hate you for yesterday  
chloé came in today

 **leks:  
** o  
ye?  
i'm on my break so u have like five mins

 **marinara:  
** that's fine  
she's not gonna tell adrien  
I think

 **leks:  
** wat  
how did u get her to agree to that

 **marinara:  
** I didn't?  
she kinda apologised?  
didn't outright say sorry  
but it was implied?

 **leks:  
** why

 **marinara:  
** because she came in to ask  
if I wanted to meet up again  
because I wasn't replying to her

 **leks:  
** ok  
what u say

 **marinara:  
** I asked if she just wanted to post pictures online

 **leks:  
** not like you to be so blunt

 **marinara:  
** I was annoyed  
let me live  
anyway  
she said no?

 **leks:  
** no?

 **marinara:  
** said that she wouldn't post about it  
if we spent time together

 **leks:  
** not seeing the apology here

 **marinara:  
** idk  
she said she understood  
since some people recognise her in person

 **leks:  
** her tiny following

 **marinara:  
** almost a million  
it's not tiny

 **leks:  
** tiny

 **marinara:  
** I want to believe her?  
she wasn't that bad  
other than pissing me off at the end

 **leks:  
** idk  
go for it  
i guess

 **marinara:  
** she's adrien's best friend  
it's a bit weird

 **leks:  
** you're the one being weird about this  
they'd be ur friends irl too

 **marinara:  
** yeah let's  
not find out

 **leks:  
** fuck off


	12. 12

**AN:** we'll get to the romance soon, my friends, don't worry. and nino's redemption since he's not always such a cuck.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** sorry for being so off last week  
I was just worried about irl stuff

 **adrikins:  
** secret things i can't know?

 **marinara:  
** aah, yeah  
I guess  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** it's okay!  
i forgive you

 **marinara:  
** I wasn't really asking for forgiveness

 **adrikins:  
** i forgive!  
as long you're happy  
that's all that matters to me!

 **marinara:  
** I can see why people flirt with you  
when you're this nice

 **adrikins:  
** is this you complimenting my face again

 **marinara:  
** no

 **adrikins:  
** no?  
i'm offended

 **marinara:  
** no to your ego  
stop that

 **adrikins:  
** but mari!  
i was in another photo with chloe today  
she's gonna post it tomorrow

 **marinara:  
** and why are you telling me this

 **adrikins:  
** it's  
something you and juleka will want to see!

 **marinara:  
**...why

 **adrikins:  
** you'll see!

 **marinara:  
** I'm terrified

 **adrikins:  
** fear me!

 **marinara:  
** just a little

 **adrikins:  
** that's enough  
are you okay now?

 **marinara:  
** I'm fine, I promise  
had a few stressful days  
then I was sad about stupid shit

 **adrikins:  
** it's not stupid if it upsets you!

 **marinara:  
** it was dumb  
I'm over it now  
I think

 **adrikins:  
** are you sure?

 **marinara:  
** aah  
maybe?

 **adrikins:  
** you can sit on my lap  
and tell me your problems!

 **marinara:  
** make it less sexual  
and I'll think about it

 **adrikins:  
** a blanket on my lap first!

 **marinara:  
** it's august

 **adrikins:  
** a thin blanket!

 **marinara:  
** good plan  
I don't know how to say this  
without sounding really sad?

 **adrikins:  
** don't be sad!

 **marinara:  
** not that kinda sad  
well, maybe  
both work well

 **adrikins:  
** what do you mean?  
you deserve the world  
not sadness!

 **marinara:  
** you say the sweetest things  
but you sound ten

 **adrikins:  
** you mean pure and innocent!

 **marinara:  
** yes

 **adrikins:  
** it's to keep you that way!

 **marinara:  
** …  
moving on

 **adrikins:  
** i refuse to see you as anything else!

 **marinara:  
** you're just begging me to tell you my kinks  
which I'm not going to do  
we're not that close

 **adrikins:  
** are you saying we're not close?  
i'm so offended  
how could you mari

 **marinara:  
** you're not  
guilting me into my kinks  
that's definitely not one of them

 **adrikins:  
** worth a try!  
do you want to know mine?

 **marinara:  
** no!  
you can only share yours when I give mine  
so it's fair

 **adrikins:  
** i'll await the day

 **marinara:  
** don't hold your breath

 **adrikins:  
** so you're not into choking?

 **marinara:  
** you're lethal

 **adrikins:  
** just trying to cheer you up!  
now tell me about your sadness  
i demand it

 **marinara:  
** I'd really rather not

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
you promised!

 **marinara:  
** I didn't promise  
but fine  
I don't  
really have that many friends?

 **adrikins:  
** me neither!

 **marinara:  
** that's ridiculous  
you're amazing

 **adrikins:  
** so are you!  
please tell me more  
not because i like your sadness  
or anything  
but i want you to vent!

 **marinara:  
** mmm, I'll try  
you already know that I know juleka  
and luka because of that

 **adrikins:  
** and ladybug!

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
other than that, I don't really see anyone?  
I didn't continue with school  
and I lost contact with anyone else I used to go to school with  
there's no one from work that could be classed as a friend

 **adrikins:  
** friends fall out of contact sometimes!  
it happens all the time  
you could try and reach out to some  
if you wanted to?  
not that you have to  
but it might be good

 **marinara:  
** idk  
it's awkward trying to reconnect  
and I barely leave my home as it is?  
just for work  
sometimes to go to juleka's

 **adrikins:  
** do you not enjoy it?

 **marinara:  
** idk  
it's effort to do anything  
I can focus on work  
but when I have free time  
I just like  
shrivel up and want to die  
that's a good way to explain it

 **adrikins:  
** you have us to talk to on here!  
if it's ever too much to talk to everyone on the group chat  
you can always just message me?  
if you want to  
i'd entertain you at any time  
if i can!

 **marinara:  
** I wouldn't want to bother you  
idk  
it's overwhelming sometimes  
but I like that it's only  
online

 **adrikins:  
** what do you mean with that?

 **marinara:  
** aah  
as nice as you guys are  
really, you are  
I'd just feel pressured if we ever met up?  
to try and get you all to like me again  
probably better to stay like this

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
how could we ever not like you  
you're so sweet?  
and nice and supportive  
you've helped me out so much!  
it's like the highlight of my day talking to you!

 **marinara:  
** I only helped you with the game?

 **adrikins:  
** and all the talks!  
i will not have you putting yourself down  
you're the best person i know  
even if it only is online

 **marinara:  
** exaggeration

 **adrikins:  
** you're my best online friend!  
and i won't let you say otherwise!

 **marinara:  
** don't tell nath  
but you might be mine

 **adrikins:  
** he's busy crying!

 **marinara:  
** honestly me

-x-

 **group chat: maranree  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **leks:  
** there  
she's here now

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **ninny:  
** hi mari  
fancy seeing you here

 **marinara:  
**...what

 **leks:  
** say it  
we're busy

 **Alyarr:  
** you just want to leave us

 **leks:  
** nath left u ten minutes ago  
i want to be him

 **ninny:  
** said no one ever

 **marinara:  
** I'd like to be nath  
I think it would be pretty fun

 **Alyarr:  
** said no one ever

 **marinara:  
** good friend

 **leks:  
** the best  
now get on with it

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
i know you're with your friends right now!

 **leks:  
** me

 **Alyarr:  
** yes  
that's why we asked you to get her online  
which is still hard to get used to

 **marinara:  
** yes?

 **adrikins:  
** please tell ladybug to look at chloe's pics!  
i know she doesn't follow her  
which chloe is very upset about!  
but there's something there!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
is this what you meant  
when you said you were gonna post something with her?

 **adrikins:  
** that was last week!

 **leks:  
** i told him the actual date  
ur welcome

 **adrikins:  
** you're the best!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
is it a birthday present for her?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!

 **ninny:  
** adrien out here living the dream  
blackmailing friends into talking to his idol for him

 **marinara:  
** how is it blackmail

 **Alyarr:  
** he's cute  
would you really deny him?

 **leks:  
** is that everything  
because we have a time limit

 **ninny:  
** are the streamers still  
doing their thing

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm sensing less hostility

 **ninny:  
** im not that bad

 **leks:  
** ye  
they're steaming together in like  
two hours for ladybug's birthday  
we gotta have dinner first

 **adrikins:  
** ok ok!  
sorry for keeping you from it  
have a good night!

 **ninny:  
** enjoy  
while we wallow and wait for adrien to spam us about the stream

 **Alyarr:  
** have fun!

 **leks:  
** i'll sneak in there nino  
and hold up a sign calling u lame

 **ninny:  
** just lame?  
thats not an insult

 **adrikins:  
** and mari!

 **leks:  
** should it just say ninny

 **marinara:  
** yeah?

 **adrikins:  
** have fun, ok!  
you deserve some fun!

 **ninny:  
** how about you fuck off  
wait  
is adrien telling mari to get laid  
or what

 **leks:  
** o

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** no no!  
i was not!  
but if that's fun for you then do that  
there's no shaming here!

 **Alyarr:  
** you literally call her a baby

 **adrikins:  
** she's my baby

 **marinara:  
** still not calling you daddy  
and I'm not having sex?  
stop being so invested in my love life

 **leks:  
** they're taking it slow

 **adrikins:  
** just have fun!  
no matter what you do!  
i will support you  
like a good father!

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
no

 **ninny:  
** adrien yes  
go get some mari

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **Alyarr:  
** live your dreams  
tap that streamer  
nino's shipping it

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **leks:  
** ur making ladybug wait  
that's rude mari

 **marinara:  
** …  
bye

 **Alyarr:  
** get it!

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** I know it's late  
but I just wanted to tell you that  
ladybug  
really liked that picture  
she thought it was cute that you were wearing her merch t-shirt  
don't kill yourself because of that  
please live on

-x-

 **group chat: nath but naff  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** are you bullying him already?  
he's only come back to us for like  
three days  
what are you doing

 **ninny:  
** making up for lost time?  
hes a giant and deserves everything

 **Thani:  
** Do you still want to hear that song I was talking about, Nino?

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
hit me up

 **marinara:  
** stop having three way calls  
it's supposed to be a relationship with just him and alya

 **Thani:  
** You heard her, Nino.

 **marinara:  
** wrong

 **ninny:  
** i cant help it  
theres something about him that makes me go wild

 **marinara:  
** that's the worst thing I've ever heard

 **Thani:  
** Be thankful you're not actually listening to him.

 **ninny:  
** says you?  
you always come and talk to me  
when im on call with alya

 **Thani:  
** Maybe Alya texts me an SOS message.  
It appears whenever you're on webcam together.

 **ninny:  
** admit it  
you wanna be included

 **Thani:  
** I really don't.  
It's bad timing, I assure you.  
Besides, Alya's always the one telling me to sit down and join in.

 **marinara:  
** I'm getting a lot of information right now  
and all of it is very  
unsettling  
what has happened to you

 **Thani:  
** Terrible, terrible things.

 **ninny:  
** nath saw me shirtless once

 **marinara:  
** yeah?  
and why were you shirtless?

 **ninny:  
** no  
no  
lets focus on him

 **Thani:  
** Alya thought it would be a good idea to get him to strip.  
I was in her kitchen.

 **marinara:  
** tell me more

 **Thani:  
** Her room's the one beside the kitchen.

 **ninny:  
** i didnt completely strip  
so i have that going for me

 **Thani:  
** I could hear them talking through the walls at time.  
They're pretty thin.

 **marinara:  
** sounds good  
so why did you go in

 **Thani:  
** I said at times.  
I didn't know he'd be shirtless.

 **ninny:  
** can we move on  
im getting embarrassed again  
and i thought that was impossible

 **marinara:  
** we thought you dating alya was impossible  
and now look at you?  
stripping on cam together

 **Thani:  
** Alya didn't strip at all, thankfully.

 **ninny:  
** because you walked in!

 **Thani:  
** I was there before you?

 **marinara:  
** burn

 **Thani:  
** We were supposed to go out before you text her.  
She even told you that.

 **ninny:  
** she said she wasnt busy!

 **Thani:  
** Because we had a few minutes before we left.  
We ended up missing ten minutes of the film.

 **ninny:  
** id say sorry but we both know it wouldnt be sincere  
so  
i wont do it next time

 **marinara:  
** don't do alya over the internet  
especially not while nath's there  
that's the moral of this story

 **ninny:  
** the moral is that nath is fucking tall  
so fucking tall

 **marinara:  
** does he make you feel  
small

 **ninny:  
** feeling small is my life

 **marinara:  
** preach

 **ninny:  
** but im usually tall  
lets find out next week whether adriens taller than me too  
thatll be fun

 **marinara:  
** you really are meeting up?

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
finally got some time off work  
so we're both free that day

 **marinara:  
** what are you even planning to do?

 **Thani:  
** Slowly, we're all going to meet up, it seems.  
Are to you ready to stop hiding, Marinette?

 **marinara:  
** no  
let me be

 **Thani:  
** Juleka knows you.

 **marinara:  
** juleka knew me before I had breasts  
there's a difference

 **Thani:  
** I knew you before I knew you had breasts.

 **marinara:  
** are you  
saying you thought I was a guy?

 **Thani:  
** Not sure, really. I didn't think about it much.

 **marinara:  
** I introduced myself as mari?

 **ninny:  
** names can be unisex  
get with the times mari

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **Thani:  
** No wonder you don't want to meet us.  
You're so insensitive.

 **marinara:  
**?

 **ninny:  
** shame on you  
shame on your... idk  
what do you like  
other than adrien

 **marinara:  
** juleka  
shame her  
or her brother

 **ninny:  
** shame on your milkshake

 **marinara:  
** oh, fuck off  
let it die

 **ninny:  
** my otp will go on strong  
itll come back with a vengeance

 **Thani:  
** What are you two actually planning to do?  
You and Adrien, I mean, Nino.  
Not you, Mari.  
I don't want to know what you get up to with him.

 **marinara:  
** we watched a horror film last night  
plagg got spooked by a jumpscare

 **ninny:  
** nice  
idk i think well just be at his house?  
not really planned anything  
just hanging out

 **marinara:  
** tell us if he's a baby irl

 **ninny:  
** youre the baby?  
but yeah  
i got you

 **marinara:  
** best of luck to you  
don't die if he turns out to be a murderer

 **ninny:  
** ive seen his nipple  
i trust him

-x-

 **group chat: nath but naff  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hello!

 **adrikins:  
** you're excitable!  
mari hello!

 **marinara:  
** ye

 **Alyarr:  
** hey  
what are you doing on

thought you were busy tonight

 **marinara:  
** i am  
i'm on a date

 **Thani:  
** No, you're not.

 **marinara:  
** why not

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
how could you keep this from us?

 **Thani:  
** Because you told me what you were doing last night.

 **marinara:  
** forget that  
naffaniel

 **Alyarr:  
** oh my

 **Thani:  
** And that's not Mari.

 **marinara:  
** what  
i am

 **Thani:  
** Mari doesn't find that nickname funny.

 **Alyarr:  
** no one finds anything to do with you funny

 **ninny:  
** babe  
so cruel  
his face is a bit funny

 **Thani:  
** Feeling the love.

 **adrikins:  
** leave nath alone!

 **marinara:  
** fine  
u win  
i'll give the phone back

 **adrikins:  
** oh?

 **Alyarr:  
** huh  
you were actually right

 **Thani:  
** That wasn't Marinette's typing.

 **ninny:  
** honestly blanked over the ye  
its fucking weird

 **marinara:  
** let's just say juleka is fucking weird  
hello!  
I said she could be me until you guys guessed  
I'm actually shocked?

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!  
are you two together right now?  
wait  
of course you are  
are you having fun!

 **marinara:  
** ahh, yeah  
everyone's here

 **ninny:  
** does everyone include your crush

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
fuck you

 **adrikins:  
** so sassy!

 **marinara:  
** just for you  
xo  
luka's here

 **Alyarr:  
** ooo  
does that mean ladybug too

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
she's here

 **adrikins:  
** cool!  
you're having fun right?

 **ninny:  
** is there a reason why you're on here with us tho  
are you okay  
you always ignore us when youre with friends?

 **marinara:  
** but now you know my friends?  
idk they're having an argument  
well  
not argument?  
heated words  
enthusiastic!

 **Alyarr:  
** and you're  
typing to us in a corner?

 **marinara:  
** sipping at my drink  
watching the show

 **ninny:  
** nice  
thanks for blessing us with your presence

 **marinara:  
** gonna ignore the sarcasm in that one  
anyway  
do you guys wanna know something!

 **Alyarr:  
** what?

 **adrikins:  
** sure!

 **Thani:  
** I'm just going to say yes to blend in.  
Aren't you supposed to be out for dinner?

 **marinara:  
** we ended up going for drinks instead  
so I'm still hungry  
sad

 **adrikins:  
** give us the info!

 **marinara:  
** okay, okay  
wait  
I'm shy

 **ninny:  
** is it time for your first selfie

 **marinara:  
** no

 **Alyarr:  
** aw

 **marinara:  
** I'm ladybug

 **Alyarr:  
** no you're not  
nice joke

 **adrikins:  
** hello ladybug!  
it's nice to meet you but  
please give mari her phone back!

 **ninny:  
** oh  
that is actually possible?

 **Alyarr:  
** bullshit

 **Thani:  
** Either that or Juleka's gotten better at pretending to be Mari.  
There hasn't been a ye yet.

 **marinara:  
** but I'm ladybug

 **ninny:  
** sorry for talking shit about you  
but can we have mari back  
we like her

 **Alyarr:  
** nino  
that's literally you saying you dislike her

 **ninny:  
** oh  
no, youre okay ladybug  
but i just like mari more

 **Thani:  
** Almost a confession from you.

 **adrikins:  
** mari come back!

 **leks has joined the chat**

 **leks:  
** nice  
 _(image: ladybug staring down at a phone screen)_

 **adrikins:  
** give us marinette!

 **leks:  
** mari  
has made the decision to drink some more  
because you all rejected ladybug

 **Alyarr:  
** we didn't reject her  
she hasn't been formally invited  
you can't just push famous friends in here  
they have to beat nino to earn their place

 **leks:  
** ladybug is very hurt  
how could u

 **Thani:  
** I highly doubt that.

 **leks:  
** mari needs support  
how else can she date ladybug

 **Alyarr:  
** ladybug can come on her own account  
no imposters allowed  
ps please say hi for me  
I'm a fan

 **marinara:  
** you're  
the worst

 **adrikins:  
** is that mari yet!

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
I'm mari  
not ladybug

 **adrikins:  
** i missed you!  
are you staying out for long  
or do you want to reschedule our plans?

 **marinara:  
** aaah  
I think I might be a few hours more?  
you can go to bed  
we can do it tomorrow instead

 **ninny:  
** dont ditch your date for adrien  
ill take care of him for you

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** I was right  
you'd be a great father

 **ninny:  
** you cant have him tomorrow  
im stealing him for the day

 **adrikins:  
** bro!

 **marinara:  
** I'm leaving

-x-

 **private chat: ninny and marinara  
**

 **ninny:  
** morning  
youre up for work right

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
what's up

 **ninny:  
** not hungover?

 **marinara:  
** not really  
why

 **ninny:  
** im meeting up with adrien in like  
an hour if you want to come

 **marinara:  
** no thanks  
I'll stay on the internet

 **ninny:  
** worth a try  
would juleka say no if i asked her

 **marinara:  
** probably  
she's using the excuse that  
she'll only go if I do now  
so good luck with that?

 **ninny:  
** awful

 **marinara:  
** let me stay faceless

 **ninny:  
** so  
i wanted to apologise

 **marinara:  
**?  
you apologised last night

 **ninny:  
** not really to you  
i was a dick, yeah  
so sorry about that

 **marinara:  
** dude  
it's fine  
I know what you're like

 **ninny:  
** still  
if you said youre friends with ladybug  
i wouldnt have been such a shit

 **marinara:  
** nino  
if I thought you were really serious  
I would've told you to fuck off

 **ninny:  
** o  
thats good then

 **marinara:  
** you're cool  
it's fine

 **ninny:  
** so if you want to get together with her  
you dont have to keep it a secret  
i wont be a jerk about it

 **marinara:  
** …  
are you kidding me

 **ninny:  
** lowkey shipping it

 **marinara:  
** why

 **ninny:  
** juleka sent us some juicy pics  
its growing on me

 **marinara:  
** I hate everyone

 **ninny:  
** stop hating on our support

 **marinara:  
** I literally said I was ladybug last night  
and no one believed me

 **ninny:  
** what if said i was popular online  
out of nowhere  
youd never believe me

 **marinara:  
** glad you've got that faith in yourself

 **ninny:  
** jerk

 **marinara:  
** says you?  
you'll never believe me when I tell the truth now

 **ninny:  
** drunk mari can never be trusted  
remember what happened with nath

 **marinara:  
** I wasn't that drunk  
you saw how coherent I was typing

 **ninny:  
** autocorrect

 **marinara:  
** …  
why

 **ninny:  
** idk seems like you  
anyway  
sure you dont want to meet adrien?  
you could just come for the kitten  
hes cute

 **marinara:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** adrien will be heartbroken

 **marinara:  
** oh, I'm sorry  
my heart's taken by ladybug

 **ninny:  
** sarcasm isn't appreciated


	13. 13

**AN:** i'm aiming to update this weekly but too many customers come in and ask me whether i'm new because i bleached my hair. i'm suffering. did i not matter to u fred with the two grandkids. how could u forget me so soon.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** So.

 **marinara:  
** so

 **Thani:  
** I got a strange commission earlier.

 **marinara:  
** that's a bit rude  
you know that it's me right

 **Thani:  
** Yes, I gathered that.  
Thank you.

 **marinara:  
** no problem  
get that sweet money

 **Thani:  
** But still.  
You paying me to make emotes for Ladybug?  
I never saw it coming.

 **marinara:  
** no one did to be fair

 **Thani:  
** I'm still not used to you being friends with Ladybug.

 **marinara:  
** I'm not used to having friends at all  
isn't that weird

 **Thani:  
** What am I?  
Invisible?

 **marinara:  
** neglectful and absent  
you'd be a good parent

 **Thani:  
** I was busy, but I'm online more now.  
Just not interested in playing.

 **marinara:  
** how dare?  
no, really  
it's fine, nath  
talking to you is just fine

 **Thani:  
** It sure sounds like you missed me.

 **marinara:  
** of course  
who else keeps me company  
well, adrien  
but he's not very sane  
he gets a bit weird when he's tired

 **Thani:  
** And that sounds terrifying.  
I'll stick to only messaging you at night, thank you.

 **marinara:  
** am I not weird at night

 **Thani:  
** You're weird all the time.

 **marinara:  
** clearly in a good way  
otherwise why would you have fancied me  
am I right

 **Thani:  
** Can we forget about that?  
It's been months.  
I just thought you were cute.

 **marinara:  
** you're cute  
in a brother kind of way  
wouldn't want to bang you

 **Thani:  
** I didn't want to bang you!

 **marinara:  
** what a lie

 **Thani:  
** Your confidence astounds me.

 **marinara:  
** same  
but only when it doesn't matter  
other things cause my self-confidence to plummet

 **Thani:  
** I did want to hold your hand, but that was it.  
Take that how you will.

 **marinara:  
** cutely  
idk  
do you think it would even work online?  
not between us!  
I mean in general

 **Thani:  
** If you're committed, sure.  
I don't see any reason why it wouldn't.

 **marinara:  
** I  
I don't really see how it would?  
I get too nervous even thinking about meeting you guys normally  
how would I get a relationship from that

 **Thani:  
** Try and get a friendship first, of course.  
Mari, it is nice talking to you.  
But I'd love to put a face to your name.

 **marinara:  
** ahh  
let's not

 **Thani:  
** Would this help?  
 _(image: male with shoulder-length red hair smiling)_

 **marinara:  
**?  
no!

 **Thani:  
** Adrien's only told you before, right?  
I could show you everyone else, if it'll make you feel better.

 **marinara:  
** why would this ever  
make me feel better

 **Thani:  
** Well.  
You're worried about meeting us, right?

 **marinara:  
** yes?

 **Thani:  
** You can run away if you ever see me.  
I won't be offended.

 **marinara:  
** I can't believe you  
what

 **Thani:  
** Mari, you do know that I really consider you a friend, right?  
I understand that you're very private.  
But if you'd ever like to open up, I want you to know you can trust me.  
Not to show Alya your picture, that is.  
I'm not trying to pressure you or anything.  
I just feel weird that I barely know anything about you.

 **marinara:  
** you know quite a lot?  
it's not like I'm  
idk some fake identity  
I've told you guys some things  
but they weren't believed  
so I don't know whether to do that again or not

 **Thani:  
** Well, if you ever do, I'm here.

 **marinara:  
** you're nice  
why are you so nice

 **Thani:  
** I was brought up right?

 **marinara:  
** okay, bit rude  
stuck up boy

 **Thani:**  
You're also nice.

 **marinara:  
** too late  
I know I'm not  
you've nailed my coffin shut

 **Thani:  
** Please stop talking about dying so much.

 **marinara:  
** it's my life  
sorry

-x-

 **group chat: nath but naff  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hey

 **ninny:  
** _(image: plagg licking his paw)_

 **marinara:  
** stop?

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah not happening  
he's stuck

 **ninny:  
** _(image: plagg with his tongue sticking out)_

 **marinara:  
** how are we supposed to talk  
if you refuse to actually type

 **ninny:  
** _(image: plagg's face with the text hello above)_

 **Alyarr:  
** …  
I hate that I laughed

 **marinara:  
** is this supposed to be an upgrade  
whatever  
I'll take it

 **Alyarr:  
** honestly  
he's only doing this because you got annoyed yesterday

 **marinara:  
** he wouldn't stop?

 **Alyarr:  
** he won't stop now  
he knows your hatred for plagg

 **marinara:  
** I don't hate plagg  
how dare you?

 **ninny:  
** _(image: plagg with eyes closed with the text what's up above)_

 **marinara:  
** you're horribly behind when you do this  
hello, nino  
I'm glad you had fun with adrien before  
but that was three days ago  
can you fuck off

 **Alyarr:  
** he really won't  
they're meeting up again at the weekend

 **marinara:  
** why

 **Alyarr:  
** that's what friends do when they live nearby mari  
can you believe it

 **marinara:  
** okay  
bit rude

 **Alyarr:  
** it's okay  
we don't live near each other

 **marinara:  
** yeah, but I live near nino

 **Alyarr:  
** oh right  
that's a thing  
I always forget you're a real person

 **marinara:  
**?

 **Alyarr:  
** I feel like you're a bot sometimes  
tell me more mari  
I wish to know

 **marinara:  
** I hate you

 **Alyarr:  
** I knew that already

 **ninny:  
** _(image: plagg stretched out with the text fuck you above)_

 **marinara:  
** I also hate him  
is that enough

 **Alyarr:  
** fair

 **marinara:  
** I commissioned nath earlier

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah!  
he's really excited about that  
real sweet of you

 **marinara:  
** his emotes are cute  
I've always liked the ones he did for luka  
I just didn't know it was him

 **Alyarr:  
** thanks for caring about checking out the artists  
you monster

 **marinara:  
** my bad!

 **Alyarr:  
** you should be ashamed

 **marinara:  
** I am  
terribly  
how can you ever forgive me

 **Alyarr:  
** mmm  
tough question

 **marinara:  
** please  
I can't continue this life of sin

 **Alyarr:  
** I don't have all the answers to life  
but

 **ninny:  
** _(image: plagg asleep with the text i hate you too mari above)_

 **marinara:  
** I didn't log in for this  
abuse

 **Alyarr:  
** is it really abuse when plagg is so cute  
he's our mascot now

 **marinara:  
** is this how nino's going to lure new people in  
with a cute cat?

 **Alyarr:  
** well  
that or adrien's nipple  
he's a good incentive to join

 **marinara:  
** poor boy  
he doesn't deserve to be known for such a thing

 **Alyarr:  
** anyone that joins after him  
will be told about the nipslip

 **marinara:  
** and then how nath walked in on nino topless?

 **Alyarr:  
** yes  
what a good story

 **marinara:  
** I think I liked it better when you weren't together

 **Alyarr:  
** don't even get me started about the pining  
I wanted to die

 **marinara:  
** idk  
never really experienced it much

 **Alyarr:  
** what  
because ladybug actually likes you back?  
fuck off

 **marinara:  
** what

 **Alyarr:  
** don't shove your accomplishments  
in my face mari!

 **marinara:  
** …  
you know what  
yes, I am madly in love with ladybug  
we're dating  
she's amazing

 **Alyarr:  
**!  
don't you dare say joke!  
I'm not even kidding I am close to crying  
we ship it

 **marinara:  
** we're everyone's otp  
amazing  
best couple  
wow couple goals

 **Alyarr:  
** anyone that says they're couple goals is lying  
I'm doubting everything now  
don't do this to me

 **marinara:  
** I love her  
and she loves me  
it's a good system  
all the love  
wow

 **Alyarr:  
** don't you dare say joke!

 **marinara:  
** ask juleka how much I love ladybug  
so much  
she's the best part of my life

 **Alyarr:  
** oh my god?

 **marinara:  
** so much

 **ninny:  
** _(image: plagg sleeping with the text omg above)_

 **marinara:  
** does this not warrant  
you actually typing  
like wow I'm telling you so much about myself  
and how I love ladybug  
so much  
I put your relationship to shame  
you're both idiots

 **Alyarr:  
** bit aggressive but ok

 **ninny:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** that'll do

 **ninny:  
** is this why  
you didnt want to date milkshake!

 **marinara:  
** milkshake was never an option  
we've moved on

 **Alyarr:  
** my heart has moved on but I remember it  
vividly  
the ship was real

 **marinara:  
** stop

 **ninny:  
** when did you get together?  
please tell us  
dont leave me waiting  
im so sorry for being mean to her  
ill apologise if you want

 **marinara:  
** you already apologised  
it's fine  
idk it feels like we've been together  
all my life  
it's that natural  
you know?

 **ninny:  
** not really  
ive only known alya two years

 **Alyarr:  
** listen  
you told me you've been crushing on me for two years  
isn't that a lifetime

 **ninny:  
** a bit  
had a heartattack whenever you did something cute

 **Alyarr:  
**!  
nino are you flirting with me

 **ninny:  
** babe  
always

 **Alyarr:  
** wait  
wait!  
mari!

 **marinara:  
** what  
what do you want  
you ridiculous couple

 **Alyarr:  
** do you want to invite ladybug in here?  
we can if you want  
unless that's too much for you

 **marinara:  
** no thanks  
she's already in my heart

 **ninny:  
** tone it down a bit

 **marinara:  
** no  
she's a part of me

 **Alyarr:  
** you're so corny?  
why didn't we know this

 **marinara:  
** it took me so long to realise  
how dumb you both are  
so that's why I guess

 **ninny:  
** so aggressive  
what did we do mari

 **marinara:  
** I'm grumpy  
I'm gonna go nap

 **Alyarr:  
** think of your true love!

 **marinara:  
** ahhh  
yeah

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **leks:  
** why am i being asked to check on u  
what going on

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
dating ladybug  
did you know that  
I can't possibly be ladybug when they're too different people  
without telling them everything

 **leks:  
** so do it

 **marinara:  
** but then they'll treat me differently?  
nino might not be as bad  
but adrien like  
idolises me?

 **leks:  
** mari  
ur a fucking idiot  
get over it

 **marinara:  
** people are stupid when they're in love

 **leks:  
** ur not in love with urself

 **marinara:  
** that's rude

 **leks:  
** ur great  
maybe just tell one of them  
see how they take it  
whatever

 **marinara:  
** hello I've been lying to you  
they didn't believe me last time  
why would they now

 **leks:  
** mari  
u didn't even try last time  
fuck off

 **marinara:  
** I don't like your comforting  
you're terrible at this

 **leks:  
** i'm like  
a voice of reason  
because ur ridiculous

 **marinara:  
** I take offence to this

 **leks:  
** good

 **marinara:  
** no but  
they literally think ladybug is another person  
showing a picture will do nothing  
holding up a piece of paper  
saying hello I'm marinette  
will do nothing

 **leks:  
** idk  
don't look at me

 **marinara:  
** and I'm not going to come out on stream  
no thanks  
there's a reason I barely post on my personal accounts

 **leks:  
** meet them then  
hello i'm mari  
i love myself

 **marinara:  
** I hate that idea

 **leks:  
** u met one already

 **marinara:  
** …  
are you telling me to go into nino's work

 **leks:  
** u were most scared of him right

 **marinara:  
** I wouldn't say scared  
but yes?  
that was before adrien  
I really like him  
he's either going to be happy or really  
disappointed

 **leks:  
** then stop digging this hole  
it's fun but it's making it worse

 **marinara:  
** you started it?

 **leks:  
** i never said i was smart  
idk just be honest  
see what happens

 **marinara:  
** I hate this idea

 **leks:  
** sue me  
it'll just be a bit awkward  
then they'll get over it  
all good  
all fine  
no more being weirdly into urself

 **marinara:  
** you started this?

 **leks:  
** u already said that  
so what

 **marinara:  
** I just gave up and played along  
and now you're shaming me for it

 **leks:  
** i shame u for everything  
it's what friends do

 **marinara:  
** why are we friends

 **leks:  
** idk  
you ditched me for my brother anyway  
why am i even here

 **marinara:  
** no  
you don't get to have the crisis  
it's my time

 **leks:  
** it's my time  
my classes start again next week

 **marinara:  
** same for everyone else right  
I think?

 **leks:  
** lonely mari

 **marinara:  
** it's okay  
I still have your brother

 **leks:  
** gross  
anyway are u still coming over

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
be there soon

-x-

 **private chat: ninny and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** hello, friend

 **ninny:  
** what do you want  
this is too weird

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** talking to me here  
its scaring me, mari

 **marinara:  
** I regret starting this

 **ninny:  
** i regret inviting you  
whats up

 **marinara:  
** when are you working

 **ninny:  
** forever

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
your shift

 **ninny:  
** are you trying to stalk me  
because i have to tell you  
i have a girlfriend who i love very much

 **marinara:  
** tell me  
nerd

 **ninny:  
** rude  
in like  
two days  
why

 **marinara:  
** okay thanks

 **ninny:  
** i said why

 **marinara:  
** okay thanks

 **ninny:  
** mari are you coming to see me!

 **marinara:  
** okay thanks

 **ninny:  
** im gonna be on lookout  
ready to see anyone  
who looks like a marinette

 **marinara:  
** okay thanks

 **ninny:  
** _(image: plagg stretched out with the text fuck you above)_

 **marinara:  
**... **  
**why do you still have that

 **ninny:  
** they make me happy

 **marinara:  
** shocking

-x-

 **group chat: nath but naff  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** milkshake  
ordered not a milkshake today

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** yes  
absolute blasphemy

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
but that's her namesake  
she can't ditch that!

 **marinara:  
** she did  
because she's on a diet  
and we didn't have skinny milk

 **adrikins:  
** poor milkshake!  
denied the only thing that makes her happy

 **marinara:  
** I'm sure something makes her happy  
other than critiquing my outfit

 **adrikins:  
** did she do that again?

 **marinara:  
** no  
she said it was passable today  
I am blessed

 **adrikins:  
** sounds like you're friends?

 **marinara:  
** not really  
but not not?  
if that makes sense  
we're talking now when she comes in  
and since it was a slow day  
she stayed at the counter to talk to me

 **adrikins:  
** character development!

 **marinara:  
** she's not such a heinous bitch after all

 **adrikins:  
** that's a real compliment from you!

 **marinara:  
** do you wanna hear  
a real compliment

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
hit me with it  
gently!  
i'm not into abuse

 **marinara:  
** it's okay  
I'm soft for you anyway

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!  
are you flirting with me?

 **marinara:  
** no  
I'm complimenting you

 **adrikins:  
** o  
i'm soft for you too!

 **marinara:  
** sweet

 **adrikins:  
** i think you are!

 **marinara:  
** coming from you?

 **adrikins:  
** i heard that song you hate on the radio today  
and i thought about you!  
it cheered me up

 **marinara:  
** why were you sad  
I'm going to cry  
cry from you thinking about me  
and you being sad  
all the cry

 **adrikins:  
** no no no!  
I was just a bit  
upset that my classmates didn't invite me out with them?  
they posted pictures of them all meeting up  
before we have classes again?

 **marinara:  
** they didn't message you at all?

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** I'll murder them

 **adrikins:  
** no no!  
i need you out of jail so i can spend time with you!  
it's okay  
i just waited for you to be home!

 **marinara:  
** you're cuter than adrien the puppy

 **adrikins:  
** good!  
you can't replace me with a puppy mari  
i'll cry

 **marinara:  
** I'd never

 **adrikins:  
** promise?

 **ninny:  
** like  
why do i come back to you two being gross  
whats up with that

 **marinara:  
** hello, nino  
nice to see you  
how are you doing

 **ninny:  
** _(image: plagg stretched out with the text fuck you above)_

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** cute!  
he was a brat this morning  
that picture makes him look like an angel!

 **ninny:  
** he is an angel  
so pure  
so loud

 **adrikins:  
** yes!

 **marinara:  
** your bonding is the worst thing to ever happen

 **ninny:  
** don't be jealous

 **adrikins:  
** i still like you lots mari!  
the most here!

 **ninny:  
** bit rude  
dont be so open with your hate for alya

 **adrikins:  
** what  
no!  
i like alya!

 **ninny:  
** no no  
shes surely crying with naff right now

 **marinara:  
** aren't they just afk

 **ninny:  
** crying  
yes

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** terrible

 **adrikins:**

it's not like that!

 **ninny:  
** the worst  
anyway  
hey dudes

 **marinara:  
** hello, nino

 **adrikins:  
** hi!

 **marinara:  
** what's up

 **ninny:  
** im meeting up with adrien again  
are you jealous yet

 **marinara:  
** I'm not coming

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** someday  
not today  
enjoy yourselves

 **ninny:  
** bring ladybug along with you

 **adrikins:  
** bring alya  
then it's a doubledate!

 **marinara:  
** and what  
you're just not there?

 **adrikins:  
** triple date  
i'm dating myself!

 **marinara:  
** that sounds fun  
sure wish I could date myself

 **adrikins:  
** i'd recommend it!

 **ninny:  
** dude  
are you recommending dating you

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
i guess it sounds like that?

 **marinara:  
** powerful

 **adrikins:  
** i can promise i'm a good person

 **marinara:  
** and you have a good cat  
a lot of plus points there

 **ninny:  
** i can confirm that  
id take you for plagg

 **marinara:  
** same

 **adrikins:  
** date me for me!

 **marinara:  
** are you asking me out

 **adrikins:  
** are you gonna look past plagg?

 **marinara:  
** I can do that

 **ninny:  
** stop  
this flirting isnt allowed

 **marinara:  
** is it really flirting when you're here

 **ninny:  
** youre probably just as gross in private  
i dont want to know  
dude already wont shut up about you

 **marinara:  
** excuse me?

 **adrikins:  
** nino!

 **ninny:  
** i  
what

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny has left the chat**

 **marinara:  
** what?

 **adrikins:  
** ignore him!  
he's dumb!

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
when isn't he

 **adrikins:  
** rude, mari!

 **marinara:  
** rude but true  
anyway  
do you wanna play?

 **adrikins:  
** hell yeah!  
i'd do anything with you right now!

 **marinara:  
** only right now?  
I'm offended

 **adrikins:  
** any time!

 **marinara:  
** same  
for you  
not for me

 **adrikins:  
**!  
then get online!

-x-

 **private chat: ninny and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** you're working today right

 **ninny:  
** this stalking is getting out of control  
do you want my whole life schedule  
is that when you want from me  
marinette from paris

 **marinara:  
** what time

 **ninny:  
** im there now  
are you coming in  
its empty  
im excited

 **marinara:  
** have an open mind

 **ninny:  
** is that a yes!  
wait  
youre not a dude are you  
like  
thats cool  
but also not cool at the same time

 **marinara:  
** I'm not a boy

 **ninny:  
** mmm  
im sure

 **marinara:  
** _(image: plagg stretched out with the text fuck you above)_

 **ninny:  
** fucking stolen?

 **marinara:  
** xo

 **ninny:  
** wait  
do u need directions or something

hello


	14. 14

**AN:** To be fair, I only write this story at work. I had some time off and then my bosses went on holiday, so it's not like I intended for it to be this long! It really wasn't because it was left on a "cliffhanger", I promise.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: ive seen the light  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** do I want to know about the name change?

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
the apocalypse has happened

 **Alyarr:  
** that's one way to describe it

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** god gave me a sign

 **Alyarr:  
** it wasn't a sign honey  
you just got your head out of your ass

 **ninny:  
** a true sign

 **adrikins:  
** where have you been all day?  
we've missed you

 **marinara:  
** busy  
had dinner out

 **Alyarr:  
** so did nino  
but I think his story is more interesting than yours

 **marinara:  
** you haven't even asked for me story?

 **Alyarr:  
** I doubt yours includes ladybug

 **marinara:  
** …

 **ninny:  
** ladybugs my bro  
ok

 **marinara:  
** ok

 **adrikins:  
** why!

 **ninny:  
** we are pals now  
her number is in my phone

 **marinara:  
** and why  
are you telling me this

 **ninny:  
** because you were there  
what the heck

 **marinara:  
** don't heck me

 **adrikins:  
**!  
mari?

 **ninny:  
** it wasnt a date babe, i swear  
i was the third wheel

 **Alyarr:  
** I  
didn't think you were on a date in the first place?

 **ninny:  
** oh  
just gotta make sure then  
yes

 **adrikins:  
** what?

 **ninny:  
** mari was on a date with ladybug  
and they asked me to join

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: ninny and marinara**

 **ninny:  
** nooo  
come back to us

 **marinara:  
** no?  
what the fuck nino?

 **ninny:  
** let me have some fun  
let me be juleka

 **marinara:  
** fun?

 **ninny:  
** fun!

 **marinara:  
** what do you  
just  
what

 **ninny:  
** youre gonna tell them anyway right

 **marinara:  
** that's the plan?

 **ninny:  
** then i need to have some fun first  
dont restrain me like this  
mother

 **marinara:  
** I'm not your mother?

 **ninny:  
** ill adopt you again

 **marinara:  
** you never adopted me in the first place  
I didn't sign up for this

 **ninny:  
** adrien is losing his mind  
youre missing out

 **marinara:  
** I want to die

 **ninny:  
** oh pls  
this is hilarious  
i see why you did this

 **marinara:  
** nino?

 **ninny:  
** what  
im not mad  
i wasnt lying when i said that

 **marinara:  
** but  
why

 **ninny:  
** white lies right  
not like you hurt anyone

whats the harm

 **marinara:  
** are you fucking with me

 **ninny:  
** chill out, my dude  
its cool  
now im fine with you kicking my ass

 **marinara:  
** you're just bad?

 **ninny:  
** and youre fucking yourself  
glad we had this talk

 **marinara:  
** no?  
oh my god  
pls

 **ninny:  
** fine  
fingering yourself

 **marinara:  
** can you stop thinking about this  
you're supposed to be a third wheel

 **ninny:  
** im now your greatest shipper  
ive moved on in the world

 **marinara:  
** I hate you

 **ninny:  
** cool  
hey can i come meet adrien the dog

 **marinara:  
** …  
fine

 **ninny:  
** yes!

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** what up  
I'm at work so slow replies

 **adrikins:  
** isn't that every night?

 **marinara:  
** just making sure  
hi, adrien  
how are you doing?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm okay!  
but i'm a bit  
jealous?  
jealous is definitely the right word here

 **marinara:  
** oh  
what happened?

 **adrikins:  
** you met nino?

 **marinara:  
** oh  
that

 **adrikins:  
** oh!  
we don't have to talk about it  
if you don't want to?  
i'm assuming that's why you haven't been in chat all day!

 **marinara:  
** a bit  
I didn't think he'd mention it?  
idk that's dumb

 **adrikins:  
** no no, you're never dumb!  
i'm just very jealous of him?  
idk you're always so secretive  
but i'd hoped that you'd meet up with me  
someday

 **marinara:  
** oh

 **adrikins:  
** not that you owe me anything!  
it was just  
wishful thinking?

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
I didn't plan to meet nino?  
it kind of just happened and I rolled with it  
now we're here

 **adrikins:  
** can i ask  
why nino?

 **marinara:  
** known him the longest here  
but I'm  
the least close with him, I guess?  
so it wouldn't be that bad if he didn't like me

 **adrikins:  
** what?  
mari no!  
you're so sweet?  
how could anyone not like you  
don't think like that

 **marinara:  
** but that really was what I was thinking  
at the time  
if I met you first  
it would've been the opposite?

 **adrikins:  
** opposite?

 **marinara:  
** as in  
ahhh  
I like you best here?

 **adrikins:  
**!  
best?  
marinette you're gonna make my heart explode!

 **marinara:  
** calm down, buddy  
you know what I mean

 **adrikins:  
** i also like you best!

 **marinara:  
** ok ok  
confession time over  
but I'll get there eventually  
to meet you, okay?  
I'm just  
gonna work my way up

 **adrikins:  
** i can't wait!

 **marinara:  
** you kind of have to  
sorry?

 **adrikins:  
** absolutely worth it!  
i really really love you mari  
i mean  
in a platonic way?  
don't worry!  
i won't crash your dates as a third wheel!

 **marinara:  
** I'd never make you a third wheel

 **adrikins:  
** cool!

-x-

 **group chat: ladybug is god  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **Thani:  
** marinette  
my love  
it's been three days since I've been blessed by your presence  
I've been wasting away

 **adrikins:  
** i second that

 **marinara:  
** hello alya

 **Thani:  
** was it that obvious

 **marinara:  
** yes

 **ninny:  
** told you  
need to work on your caps  
loser

 **Thani:  
** love you too

 **ninny:  
** hi mari  
long time see

 **marinara:  
** literally all of you have talked to me  
just not here

 **ninny:  
** its not the same if we cant all tease you

 **adrikins:  
** we've missed you!  
but now you're back  
and never leaving!  
right?

 **marinara:  
** I might have to leave  
to sleep  
you know  
the usual

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** okay, nerd  
I'm here forever  
I'll waste away and die

 **ninny:  
** you can type and eat  
dont lie

 **marinara:  
** ye ye  
anyway  
anyone wanna play?

 **adrikins:  
** me!

 **ninny:  
** pls teach me

 **marinara:  
** be nice and I'll think about it

 **ninny:  
** i prefer your girlfriend

 **adrikins:  
** that's rude!

 **ninny:  
** ive seen the light now you cant change me

 **marinara:  
** no.

 **ninny:  
** no what  
mari  
no?

 **marinara:  
** just no.

 **adrikins:  
** marinette  
i still love you most!

 **marinara:  
** that's good to know  
I won't cry myself to sleep now  
thank you

 **ninny:  
** stop kissing her ass  
shes taken

 **marinara:  
** and you'll be taken by death in a minute

 **ninny:  
** kinky

 **adrikins:  
** can it be violent?

 **marinara:  
** just for you?  
absolutely

 **ninny:  
** this isnt the couple i ship  
stop it  
you two

 **adrikins:  
** ship us as friends

 **ninny:  
** thats literally  
not a thing

 **marinara:  
** it's a thing if we want it to be a thing

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!

 **ninny:  
** now i know why alyas gone silent  
mari joining has ruined everything

 **marinara:  
** _(image: plagg stretched out with the text fuck you above)_

 **ninny:  
** you need new content?

 **adrikins:  
** i'll take more pictures!  
a photoshoot!  
he got a new collar and it looks very nice on him

 **marinara:  
** is it cute

 **adrikins:  
** so cute!  
a little bandanna

 **marinara:  
** aw  
that is cute

 **ninny:  
** ill be the judge of that

 **adrikins:  
** you're not suddenly the judge of what's good or not!  
just because you're friends with ladybug now!

 **ninny:  
** i am the authority  
do you have ladybugs number?  
no, you dont  
listen to me.

 **group chat: ladybug is god is now group chat: fuck off, nino  
marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** have you got any plans for halloween?

 **marinara:  
** that's in like  
three weeks

 **adrikins:  
** planning is good!  
do you not  
plan anything?  
how do you live

 **marinara:  
** by bringing an umbrella in my bag  
I'm smart

 **adrikins:  
** i think you're very smart!

 **marinara:  
** stop kissing my ass, adrien

 **adrikins:  
** make me!

 **marinara:  
** cute

 **adrikins:  
** you really don't have any plans?  
chloe always has this big party  
and makes such a big deal about it!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
yeah, she's mentioned that

 **adrikins:  
** what?

 **marinara:  
** to  
ladybug, I mean

 **adrikins:  
** do you know if she's coming?  
that would be  
so weird?

 **marinara:  
** what do you mean?

 **adrikins:  
** everyone's like  
meeting her and i'm not?  
what if i'm cursed and something happens when i finally do  
like her not liking me  
or something

 **marinara:  
** I think that's pretty impossible  
you're great?

 **adrikins:  
** who's kissing ass now!

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
would you really complain about that

 **adrikins:  
** about what?

 **marinara:  
** me  
kissing your ass?

 **adrikins:  
**!  
you're a taken woman!  
how dare you propose to cheat like this!

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** shame on you!  
shame on your family!

 **marinara:  
** why are you like this

 **adrikins:  
** you threatened to kiss my ass

 **marinara:  
** I did no such thing

 **adrikins:  
** you must be strong!  
you must stay faithful!

 **marinara:  
** who's preaching now  
it's certainly not nino

 **adrikins:  
** this isn't preaching!

 **marinara:  
** you're dumb

 **adrikins:  
** but what's how you like me  
right?

 **marinara:  
** it would be a bit weird if you were smart  
but I think I'd still like you

 **adrikins:  
** aw  
that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me!

 **marinara:  
**...I don't think it is

 **adrikins:  
** let me have this!

 **marinara:  
** okay, fine  
now tell me about your halloween plans

 **adrikins:  
** idk  
i need a good costume

 **marinara:  
** pretty sure if you went shirtless that would be best

 **adrikins:  
** excuse you?

 **marinara:  
** what  
I'm honest?  
and I have eyes  
you're welcome

 **adrikins:  
** i'm seeing you in a new light!  
and it's terrifying!

 **marinara:  
** xo

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** how big of a party  
is it

 **adrikins:  
** ahhh  
a little big?  
idk if you know but her dad  
owns a hotel?

 **marinara:  
** wait  
really?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
that's why she has no job  
other than taking pictures

 **marinara:  
** I wish I had that life

 **adrikins:  
** don't we all?  
but he lets her have it there  
and she pays the bill for people she likes  
so sometimes they just suck up to her?

 **marinara:  
** that's a bit rude

 **adrikins:  
** right?  
so i try and stop that  
most of the time  
if i can!

 **marinara:  
** that's nice of you  
good she has someone looking out for her

 **adrikins:  
** she just calls it friendblocking a lot!

 **marinara:  
** but you're nice  
I'd forgive you

 **adrikins:  
** you're sweet!

 **marinara:  
** no, that's really you  
and I'll fight you on that

 **adrikins:  
** you can't fight me  
you just wanna kiss my ass!

 **marinara:  
** maybe I'll kiss something else?

 **adrikins:  
** that's even worse!

 **marinara:  
** clearly I've won the fight then?

 **adrikins:  
** …  
this was your plan all along!  
you tricked me!

 **marinara:  
** it  
wasn't really a trick  
you're kind of dumb

 **adrikins:  
** how dare you?

 **marinara:  
** sorry for dating

 **adrikins:  
** we're not dating!

 **marinara:  
** I  
I meant daring  
we're definitely not dating?  
but at that I'm not dating ladybug

 **adrikins:  
** you'll get there!  
don't worry marinette  
she'd be a fool to reject you!

 **marinara:  
** thanks

 **adrikins:  
** and if it doesn't work out  
i'll get chloe to punch her!

 **marinara:  
** you really  
don't need to do that

 **adrikins:  
** it's not like i can?  
i'd get arrested!  
you don't want that  
do you?

 **marinara:  
** no, adrien  
I don't want you to get arrested

 **adrikins:  
** exactly!  
so i have to use chloe to my advantage  
and turn her into an assassin

 **marinara:  
** I thought it was just a punch

 **adrikins:  
** that depends on how much she hurts you!

-x-

 **private chat: ninny and marinara**

 **ninny:  
** so

 **marinara:  
**...yes?

 **ninny:  
** i mightve messed up

 **marinara:  
** what does  
that even mean

 **ninny:  
** i mightve told alya

 **marinara:  
** that means you did  
doesn't it

 **ninny:  
** maybe

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
why?  
I thought you were going to let me do it?

 **ninny:  
** it was a mistake ok  
but shes not mad  
so thats ok

 **marinara:  
**?

 **ninny:  
** she was laughing?  
its fine  
shes in on it

 **marinara:  
**?

 **ninny:  
** shes also going to pretend she doesnt know  
until you tell her  
so thats a thing

 **marinara:  
** are you kidding me

 **ninny:  
** no  
im sending her screenshots of this  
but shes still going to do that

 **marinara:  
** why

 **ninny:  
** because she respects you  
or some shit  
idk

 **marinara:  
** I cannot believe this

 **ninny:  
** on the plus side  
look  
no one hates you!

 **marinara:  
** I hate you.

 **ninny:  
** no, you dont  
dont lie to me

 **marinara:  
** you're the actual worst  
thank you

 **ninny:  
** can i still come over tomorrow

 **marinara:  
** …  
fine

 **ninny:  
**!

-x-

 **private chat: Alyarr and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** hello  
you've seen the screenshots

 **Alyarr:  
** what screenshots  
I've seen nothing  
what are you talking about?  
hello marinette  
fancy seeing you here

 **marinara:  
** hi

 **Alyarr:  
** okay fine  
I admit it  
you got me to crack  
you're a real hardass

 **marinara:  
** all I said was hi

 **Alyarr:  
** that's all that was needed!

 **marinara:  
** was it

 **Alyarr:  
** yes!  
so why are you dating yourself  
is this a self-love thing I don't know about  
I'm not saying it's weird  
but maybe don't marry yourself

 **marinara:  
** …

 **Alyarr:  
** I'd still come to the wedding  
I promise  
but my heart won't be fully in it

 **marinara:  
** alya

 **Alyarr:  
** I can't pretend like this

 **marinara:  
** alya

 **Alyarr:  
** hi yes  
that'sme

 **marinara:  
** I'm not dating myself  
in any way  
I was just fucking around

 **Alyarr:  
** with yourself?  
oh my god give yourself some credit  
you're not that easy  
wait maybe you are  
if it's yourself  
you can't be frigid for selfcest right

 **marinara:  
** …

 **Alyarr:  
** sorry I'm not good at being serious  
it makes me nervous  
please don't hate nino  
he didn't mean to

 **marinara:  
** yeah, he said so  
I'm not mad?  
I probably wouldn't have worked up  
the courage to tell you for ages  
so he did me a favour, I guess

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm a bit  
sad that you didn't tell me  
but I get it?  
you probably just wanted everything separate  
right

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
I met nino on what was supposed to be my smurf account

 **Alyarr:  
** thanks for sticking around with us  
you're pretty cool  
without the whole  
internet persona thing

 **marinara:  
** thank you  
I think?

 **Alyarr:  
** nath is literally  
drawing emotes of your face  
for you

 **marinara:  
** I'm paying for them!

 **Alyarr:  
** he's going to shit a brick

 **marinara:  
** that's what I'm worried about

 **Alyarr:  
** rip it off  
like a plaster  
it'll be fine  
we all like you  
and I'm not mad right?  
so why would anyone else

 **marinara:  
** idk this is just  
really weird

 **Alyarr:  
** weird that I know your face now?  
congrats mari  
you're hot

 **marinara:  
** …

 **Alyarr:  
** what  
someone had to say it

 **marinara:  
** no one had to say it

 **Alyarr:  
** I have no problem shipping you with anyone now  
anyone would be lucky to have that face

 **marinara:  
** stop

 **Alyarr:  
** will you marry my son  
when you're done fingering yourself?

 **marinara:  
** you don't have a son?

 **Alyarr:  
** I want you as a daughter-in-law  
I'll readopt him  
just for the wedding

 **marinara:  
** I am not marrying adrien?

 **Alyarr:  
** why not  
keep it in the chat  
follow in mine and nino's footsteps

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **Alyarr:**  
but you're always flirting  
and now I know you're not actually  
taken?

amazing  
my ship

 **marinara:  
** you ship me with everyone?

 **Alyarr:  
** and adrien is a part of everyone  
perfect

 **marinara:  
** no, he's not  
he's like  
special

 **Alyarr:  
** so are you  
in a bad way

 **marinara:  
** fuck you

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm kidding  
I promise to keep your dirty secret  
don't worry

 **marinara:  
** it's not dirty

 **Alyarr:  
** your white lie

 **marinara:  
**...thanks

 **Alyarr:  
** but pls tell nath when I'm there  
so I can see his reaction

 **marinara:  
** I'll think about it

-x-

 **group chat: fuck off, nino  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!

 **marinara:  
** adrien!

 **adrikins:  
** you're home!  
i've missed you  
you went early last night

 **marinara:  
** I was tired  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** i was so lost without you

 **marinara:  
** but you made it through  
well done!

 **adrikins:  
** only because i knew you'd be here!  
today!

 **marinara:  
** I'm online every day!

 **adrikins:  
** isn't that good news?

 **ninny:  
** hi mari

 **marinara:  
** hey

 **leks:  
** nothing has changed i see

 **ninny:  
** what

 **leks:  
** adrien  
stop flirting with a taken woman

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not!  
she must be strong and faithful!

 **ninny:  
** what a friendship

 **marinara:  
** what the heck

 **leks:  
** hi

 **marinara:  
** juleka no  
there's no flirting

 **leks:  
** i've seen ur chatlogs

 **marinara:  
** …

 **leks:  
** talking about  
kissing

 **marinara:  
** why

 **ninny:  
** is that why you wouldnt show me her phone?

 **leks:  
** uve known her five mins  
the phone is mine

 **marinara:  
** the phone is  
mine?  
not either of yours?

 **adrikins:  
** can i please be included!  
i'll sell my soul!

 **ninny:  
** thats too pure and innocent  
no demon will accept it

 **marinara:  
** aren't they supposed to like innocent things

 **ninny:  
** everyone loves adrien  
too much

 **adrikins:  
** then why can't i meet juleka

 **leks:  
** i don't know u

 **adrikins:  
** my heart!

 **leks:  
** ur weird  
besides  
wouldn't u just fangirl over ladybug

 **adrikins:  
** i want to meet mari!  
not ladybug!  
like  
i won't complain if she's there but that's not why?

 **ninny:  
** theyre a set deal  
a meal deal that you cant be rejected

 **marinara:  
** I am not dating ladybug

 **leks:  
** then why are u two like  
glued together then

 **marinara:  
** ha  
ha

 **leks:  
** unhealthy relationship

 **marinara:  
** it's not a relationship  
I like someone else

 **ninny:  
** mari no  
you cant have a triad?

 **marinara:  
** that's  
not what I just said

 **adrikins:  
** be faithful!  
don't sway away!

 **marinara:  
** I haven't got anyone to be faithful to!

 **leks:  
** stop sinning

 **marinara:  
** I love ladybug platonically!

 **ninny:  
** oh my god  
thats such a harsh way to break up  
why would you do this

 **leks:  
** mari no  
u can't lie like that

 **marinara:  
** we're just friends?  
you're all awful

 **adrikins:  
** your story is changing too much!  
until you're willing to me honest  
i'll pray for you!

 **marinara:  
** you're not even religious

 **ninny:  
** ladybug is god

 **marinara:  
** I hope she smites you

 **ninny:  
** is that what you call it in bed

 **marinara:  
** don't fantasise about cheating on alya?

 **ninny:  
** its ok  
alyas all for me being a third wheel  
in any way

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** it's ok to like someone, marinette!  
we'll cheer for you!  
just like we did with milkshake

 **ninny:  
** does milkshake still go to you  
you havent mentioned her

 **leks:  
** ye  
she does

 **adrikins:  
** why do you know that and not us!

 **leks:  
** mari texts me at work

 **adrikins:  
** the betrayal?  
why won't you text me at work

 **marinara:  
** I don't have your number

 **adrikins:  
** do you want it

 **marinara:  
** …  
sure

 **adrikins:  
** ok  
let me find it

 **ninny:  
** you never said yes to me asking like that

 **marinara:  
** you're not cute

 **ninny:  
** yo what the hell  
youre only saying that because my nipples are mysterious

 **marinara:  
** can they stay that way please

 **ninny:  
** idk  
might show you next time  
third wheel and all

 **marinara:  
** fucking gross


	15. 15

**AN:** Will I ever write the scenes where they actually meet? Probably not, no. I'm keeping this story strictly chat-based, not including the texts. It was my intention from the beginning and I'm sticking with it.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** nino's crying because he thinks you hate him  
please talk to him

 **leks:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** pls  
he's spamming

 **leks:  
** he should've thought about that  
before hugging me

 **marinara:  
** you like hugs

 **leks:  
** i didn't agree to getting mauled

 **marinara:  
** you didn't seem to mind at the time?

 **leks:  
** jk  
i'm busy right now

 **marinara:  
** you're talking to me

 **leks:  
** exactly  
why do u think i left the chat for so long  
it's exhausting  
keeping up with everything

 **marinara:  
** you're just lazy

 **leks:  
** ye  
but u respond faster here than texts

 **marinara:  
** adrien's found that out already

 **leks:  
** he was lowkey crying earlier

 **marinara:  
** I thought you didn't pay attention to chat

 **leks:  
** i had a break ok  
it's amusing to just lurk

 **marinara:  
** I see how it is  
you fucking stalker

 **leks:  
** i could tell u so many things  
but ur being ungrateful right now

 **marinara:  
** okay, wise one  
tell me all about it

 **leks:  
** well  
nath's having a breakdown over uni

 **marinara:  
** what's new

 **leks:  
** he's almost finished with ur emotes

 **marinara:  
** oh, yeah  
he sent me an update message to say that

 **leks:  
** he also had five energy drinks this morning

 **marinara:  
** nath?

 **leks:  
** ye  
a bad choice  
but he stayed up after u left last night

 **marinara:  
** …  
I'm glad I'm not him

 **leks:  
** me too  
don't u ever change

 **marinara:  
** what do you want

 **leks:  
** wat

 **marinara:  
** you're being nice  
and it makes me anxious  
so what do you want?

 **leks:  
** can't i just be nice

 **marinara:  
** no.

 **leks:  
** fine  
rose wants u to come stay at hers  
so she can do ur roots

 **marinara:  
** oh  
are you  
inviting me to a sleepover

 **leks:  
** not in a sexy way  
there will be no pillow fights  
not any that involve u

 **marinara:  
** that's  
really cute

 **leks:  
** she likes u  
shut up

 **marinara:  
** yeah, I'll come  
I'll just cancel stream that day

 **leks:  
** blessed

-x-

 **group chat: halloweeners  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hello  
I am here

 **Thani:  
** Hey, Mari.  
How was work?

 **Alyarr:  
** you're like  
three hours late

 **marinara:  
** milkshake bought me dinner  
platonically  
before you all start

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah because you're taken right  
gosh

 **marinara:  
** do you want to fucking fight

 **Thani:  
** You're awfully aggressive already.  
I thought you didn't meet up with Milkshake before?

 **marinara:  
** we're pals now  
it's all good

 **Alyarr:  
** is a condition of the friendship  
that she doesn't ask for milkshakes

 **marinara:  
** no  
she just knows that I'm going to glare at her now  
I'd swear but other customers might hear  
and then tell my mom

 **Alyarr:  
** your mom?

 **marinara:  
** it's an expression?

 **Thani:  
** I'm glad you finally have a friend.  
I feel like a proud parent.

 **marinara:  
** if anything  
you're the weird uncle

 **Thani:  
** I get that a lot.

 **Alyarr:  
** understandable  
you did have that weird facial hair for a bit

 **Thani:  
** I did not.

 **Alyarr:  
** I have pictures  
why even try and lie about it

 **Thani:  
** It wasn't weird.

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah sure  
you're not the one that heard all the comments people made  
about you

 **Thani:  
** I hear them when they're from you.

 **Alyarr:  
** everything from me is loving

 **Thani:  
** I'd never describe you as loving.

 **Alyarr:  
** nino would  
so you're wrong

 **Thani:  
** Well, Nino sucks.

 **Alyarr:  
** honestly  
we suck each other

 **Thani:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** good relationship  
an equal exchange

 **Alyarr:  
** sometimes it's mathematical

 **Thani:  
** I really don't want to know.

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah you do  
don't lie  
you ask me about it all the time

 **Thani:  
** I ask how you're doing, not who.

 **Alyarr:  
** it's nino  
I'm not a cheater like mari

 **marinara:  
** I did not come here to be bullied?  
I'm single and sometimes I mingle

 **Alyarr:  
** no you don't  
juleka tells us you're sad and lonely

 **marinara:  
** then how am I dating ladybug

 **Alyarr:  
** you're right  
my bad  
you're sad and sometimes lonely

 **marinara:  
** all the time lonely  
so lonely  
I've only got the company of adrien the dog

 **Alyarr:  
** that bitch

 **marinara:  
** she's not too bad  
when she's quiet

 **Thani:  
**...She's barely ever quiet.

 **marinara:  
** mmm  
exactly

 **adrikins has joined the chat**

 **Alyarr:  
** hey adrien

 **marinara:  
** adrien!  
you're later than me  
where have you been  
mister

 **adrikins:  
** mari!  
i had to stay late today  
to try and finish something  
i'm sorry!

 **marinara:  
** it's ok  
I was late too

 **Thani:  
** She was busy with Milkshake.  
Can you believe that?

 **marinara:  
** let me have friends

 **Alyarr:  
** we're your friends  
how dare you not tell us

 **adrikins:  
** oh!  
did you have fun?  
you don't usually go out

 **Thani:  
** I'm sure she's a lot better now you're here.

 **marinara:  
** you're right but like  
is it really my fault that adrien's the best person here  
the rest of you suck

 **Alyarr:  
** and you just wish you were sucking

 **marinara:  
**?  
no?

 **adrikins:  
** don't be lonely, mari!  
i'll keep you company!

 **marinara:  
** I'm not lonely?

 **Thani:  
** She's only lonely sometimes.

 **adrikins:  
** then i'll only keep you company sometimes!  
that sums up our days well  
because you didn't reply to me?

 **marinara:  
** I'm bad at responding to texts?  
I warned you about this

 **adrikins:  
** my heart wasn't prepared!  
you haven't even responded to me from this morning?

 **marinara:  
** we're talking right now

 **adrikins:  
** this is a different conversation!

 **marinara:  
** well  
I don't remember what you even said

 **adrikins:  
** that's even worse?  
you don't remember me!

 **marinara:  
** you're a bit  
unforgettable

 **adrikins:  
** but you forgot me!

 **marinara:  
** I'm bad at messages?  
I always forget to respond  
or think that I already did  
everyone knows this, okay

 **adrikins:  
** you forgot me!  
did i not even matter to you  
is that it?  
mari? **  
**

 **marinara:  
** you matter very much

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** please  
I'm sorry for not responding  
but it did make me smile  
so my heart responded?

 **Alyarr:  
** I was happy just watching  
but that was gross

 **marinara:  
** fuck off?

 **Thani:  
** Things have sure gotten mushy around here.  
Are you going to confess your undying love soon, Mari?

 **marinara:  
** fuck you too?

 **Alyarr:  
** don't cheat x3

 **marinara:  
** you are all the worst

 **Alyarr:  
** wrong

 **marinara:  
** right

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** You're sure?

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
if I have the money, yeah

 **Thani:  
** I can pay if you're short.

 **marinara:  
** I swear to god  
if that's a short joke

 **Thani:  
** No, I mean for real.  
If you don't have enough money, I'll cover you.

 **marinara:  
** thanks but I don't need a sugar daddy

 **Thani:  
** I'm trying to stop you cancelling.

 **marinara:  
** I'm not gonna cancel

 **Thani:  
** Well, now I'm just concerned about your health.  
What happened to being all mysterious?

 **marinara:  
** I'm a big girl now

 **Thani:  
**...Are you?

 **marinara:  
** are you fucking kidding me

 **Thani:  
** Okay, okay.  
Seriously, though. What's up?

 **marinara:  
** you're my friend  
and I want to meet you  
is that so bad?

 **Thani:  
** You've been refusing to even send us pictures.  
Now you're hanging out with Nino and asking everyone to meet up.

 **marinara:  
** so  
you've all been doing this?

 **Thani:  
** Not that it's bad.  
I'm glad that you've changed your mind, but I don't get it?

 **marinara:  
** juleka talked me into it  
go big or go home

 **Thani:  
** Time to go home for you.

 **marinara:  
** one more height joke and I will absolutely leave  
fucking try me

 **Thani:  
** Love you.

 **marinara:  
** I will punch you

 **Thani:  
** That requires meeting me.

 **marinara:  
** which is the fucking plan  
if you'll actually believe me

 **Thani:  
** I'll think about it.  
I agreed to stay at Nino's with Alya for that weekend anyway, so it works out.

 **marinara:  
** that's why I'm fucking asking?

 **Thani:  
** Are you planning a family get-together, Mari?  
It sure sounds like it.

 **marinara:  
** everyone but you and alya live near

 **Thani:  
** That's a yes.

 **marinara:  
** it's not my fault you fuckers aren't here  
we've gotta work around you

 **Thani:  
** I feel like I don't even know you any more.  
You're so open.

 **marinara:  
** I'm a good person  
now can you please finish those ladybug emotes  
luka's taunting me about them  
please

 **Thani:  
** You can't rush me.

 **marinara:  
** chop chop  
I'll pay extra

 **Thani:  
** You're not even paying me.  
My wrist hurts so I'm not doing anything today.

 **marinara:  
** fine, I won't pay you anything  
but only because I pity you

 **Thani:  
** You're so caring.

 **marinara:  
** gotta be in tip top shape for november  
so I can highfive you

 **Thani:  
**...I'm not going to not highfive you just because my wrist hurts.

-x-

 **group chat: halloweeners  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** what up  
my guy

 **ninny:  
** bit of a weird entrance  
but ok

 **marinara:  
** hello nino

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** yes, hello  
that's me

 **adrikins:  
** heyy!

 **marinara:  
** what goin on

 **ninny:  
** adrien no  
you cant do this

 **adrikins:  
** what?

 **ninny:  
** the extra y means you want to fuck  
this isnt like you

 **adrikins:  
** no it doesn't?

 **marinara:  
** how could you say that to him

 **ninny:  
** how could he?  
mari is a classy gal  
shes not gonna fall for your fuckboy ways

 **marinara:  
** adrien is not a fuckboy?  
how dare you?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm  
very confused?

 **marinara:  
** don't you listen to him  
nino's just salty

 **ninny:  
** why would i be salty

 **marinara:  
** when was the last time alya said heyy to you

 **ninny:  
** she  
never has

 **adrikins:  
** she hasn't?

 **ninny:  
** oh my god  
alya doesnt want to fuck

 **marinara:  
** I'm sorry you had to find out this way  
but now you know

 **ninny:  
** my life is ruined

 **adrikins:  
** what?

 **marinara:  
** get you someone who cares  
and dares to do the second y

 **ninny:  
** its my only goal in life

 **marinara:  
** it's a good goal  
I wish to have that

 **ninny:  
** you literally just did?  
ungrateful

 **marinara:  
** adrien doesn't want to fuck

 **adrikins:  
** what the fuck?

 **marinara:  
** see  
doesn't even know what fucking is  
a pure angel

 **ninny:  
** fucking rejected mari **  
**

 **adrikins:  
** i am very concerned?

 **marinara:  
** I'll recover  
and move on  
I'll find someone better

 **adrikins:  
** you're making it sound like i'm dead?

 **marinara:  
** you're dead to me  
so pretty close

 **adrikins:  
** why?

 **ninny:  
** you used the y  
and didnt think why not

 **marinara:  
** be careful with it

 **adrikins:  
** i thought we were fine?  
how could you do this to me

 **marinara:  
** how  
could I make you reject me?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
i wouldn't reject you  
but you twisted everything!

 **ninny:  
** is that you saying youre down to fuck

 **adrikins:  
** fuck off!

 **marinara:  
** language, young man  
save the foulness for halloween

 **adrikins:  
** chloe still won't tell me what she's dressing me up as!

 **marinara:  
** did you tell her my suggestion

 **adrikins:  
** i specifically told her to let me have a shirt!  
it's october, mari!  
i'll freeze  
do you want that for me?

 **marinara:  
** I want things for me instead, adrien  
that's my whole point

 **adrikins:  
** you just wanna laugh at the pictures!

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
you're not wrong  
but I'm also going  
so

 **adrikins:  
** you're  
going?  
to chloe's?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
invite got extended to me

 **adrikins:  
** you?

 **marinara:  
** you're hurting my feelings here  
is that so hard to believe

 **adrikins:  
** you don't even know chloe?

 **marinara:  
** I do but  
not that well  
so I've never mentioned it

 **adrikins:  
** you know chloe?  
and you never told me?

 **marinara:  
** it didn't seem that important

 **adrikins:  
** i  
what?

 **marinara:  
** we're not  
besties or anything

 **adrikins has left the chat**

 **ninny:  
** that wasnt smooth at all

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
fuck off, nino

 **ninny:  
** im just saying

 **marinara:  
** I gathered that  
thank you!

 **ninny:  
** welcome

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** adrien?  
I wasn't trying to be mean there or anything  
I just meant  
it got extended to me and I wanted to surprise you?  
my plan was to not  
say anything  
but then I realised that that's a terrible idea  
and it only works out in the movies

 **adrikins:  
** why wouldn't you tell me about chloe?

 **marinara:  
** ahh  
it's not a big deep reason, okay?  
she doesn't even know  
that I know you  
I swear

 **adrikins:  
** that's not an answer

 **marinara:  
** she's milkshake

 **adrikins:  
** bothers you at work  
milkshake  
milkshake that you went to dinner with  
tonight

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
that milkshake  
so I got invited along to her party  
surprise?

 **adrikins:  
** that's chloe?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
so like  
sorry for bitching about her in front of you?  
I kind of cut back on that after finding out

 **adrikins:  
** i  
like your milkshakes

 **marinara:  
** thanks?

 **adrikins:  
** she got me one before

 **marinara:  
** sounds about right

 **adrikins:  
** i know where you work

 **marinara:  
** honestly  
you know pretty much everything about me now?  
is it really that big of a deal

 **adrikins:  
** yes?  
i actually have proof you exist

 **marinara:  
** what is that supposed to mean

 **adrikins:  
** you could've been  
idk  
a bot or something?  
someone trolling with me

 **marinara:  
** I'd never troll you?  
how dare you

 **adrikins:  
** i've had my doubts?  
but now i'm just  
sad

 **marinara:  
** don't be sad?  
I'm sorry for not telling you  
I did say I wanted to surprise you  
badly  
but I guess I screwed it up just now  
bad reveal, I guess

 **adrikins:  
** you're meeting  
everyone?  
even chloe?

 **marinara:  
** it kind of just  
happened

 **adrikins:  
** no no  
you don't get it!

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** chloe teases me about you  
like  
daily?  
and now she's met you?

 **marinara:  
** to be fair  
I knew her before all of you

 **adrikins:  
** and that's even worse?  
I don't even know  
what you look like  
but chloe does?

 **marinara:  
** it's nothing special?

 **adrikins:  
** how can you say that?  
you are so special mari?  
you're so sweet and  
i love talking to you but  
am i doing something wrong here?

 **marinara:  
** no no  
it's not you, I swear

 **adrikins:  
** "it's not you, it's me"?  
really?

 **marinara:  
** for real  
you're amazing, adrien  
I'm just  
shy

 **adrikins:  
** shy?  
I've never even seen a picture of you  
but you're meeting everyone else

 **marinara:  
** nath hasn't seen

 **adrikins:  
** that's even weirder?  
didn't you say he was closest to you?

 **marinara:  
** well  
before you, yeah

 **adrikins:  
** i don't get it  
you say you like me best  
but then you do this?

 **marinara:  
** I did tell you I'm working my way up  
before  
and you seemed to get it

 **adrikins:  
** i  
don't really understand?  
not after chloe

 **marinara:  
** what was I supposed to say?  
only juleka knows it's chloé

 **adrikins:  
** always juleka?

 **marinara:  
** I've known juleka since I was a gremlin  
she knows everything

 **adrikins:  
** and i know nothing?

 **marinara:  
** but like  
only for a bit more?  
halloween remember

 **adrikins:  
** that's in like  
a week

 **marinara:  
** can you maybe  
not come into my work or something  
I will literally scream if I see you

 **adrikins:  
** you're forgetting i don't know  
what you look like?

 **marinara:  
** oh, you'll know  
since I'm mostly alone at the front anyway  
plus I doubt you'd come in without chloé

 **adrikins:  
** if it was to see you  
i'd come whenever you want

 **marinara:  
** then after halloween  
you can come anytime  
I swear  
but I do want to be able to talk to you first  
and I can't do that at work

 **adrikins:  
** not even if we went out after your shift?

 **marinara:  
** is that you asking me out for dinner

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
since you have dinner with everyone else  
i'm clearly missing out!

 **marinara:  
** you want the marinette experience  
I understand

 **adrikins:  
** if it can charm chloe into inviting you  
you must be something amazing!

 **marinara:  
** don't you normally say that  
you already knew that

 **adrikins:  
** i was trying to let you be modest?  
but i see how it is  
you know your worth!

 **marinara:  
** I know that I like you  
and I'm looking forward to meeting you

 **adrikins:  
** is that you  
trying to get me shirtless?

 **marinara:  
** maybe  
would that be a problem

 **adrikins:  
** the weather is still a problem!

 **marinara:  
** fine, fine  
chloé still not given you a hint for your outfit?

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
but you're dressing up  
right?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
she said I wouldn't be let in otherwise  
right?

 **adrikins:  
** very right!  
i tried to get away with it one year  
so she just dressed me up badly instead!

 **marinara:  
** sounds fun  
you poor thing

 **adrikins:  
** this was when i was still a baby!  
no chest that was worth looking at!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
you're worth looking at, are you?  
try and be modest, adrien  
gosh

 **adrikins:  
** sorry!  
a cute girl told me i look good  
it went to my head

 **marinara:  
** can you specify which pls

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** I'm kidding  
please don't hurt me

 **adrikins:  
** you already decided i don't want to fuck!  
so you can't ask stuff like that

 **marinara:  
** asdlgjdhd  
I forgot about that  
I got so confused

 **adrikins:  
** cute

 **marinara:  
** you're cute

 **adrikins:  
** do you want this fight?

 **marinara:  
** I will say it until you accept it

 **adrikins:  
** well  
i'll say it on halloween!

 **marinara:  
** you're being very optimistic

 **adrikins:  
** your milkshake skills are giving me hope!

 **marinara:  
** if the others find out about chloé  
they'll be even worse

 **adrikins:  
** i think even worse would be inviting her here!

 **marinara:  
** …  
I forgot she plays in secret  
doesn't she

 **adrikins:  
** it can be not so secret  
if you want me to ask?

 **marinara:  
** maybe  
it depends on you?  
I mean  
she's your friend  
if you want her here, talk to nino

 **adrikins:  
** i do talk to nino!  
i meet him  
and you meet him  
and juleka meets him

 **marinara:  
** and we're all meeting up for dinner in november  
do you want to come

 **adrikins:  
** yes?  
all as in  
all?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
arranging it for the weekend  
alya and nath are staying at nino's

 **adrikins:  
** and you're only just telling me?

 **marinara:  
** I got asked to?  
nino thought you'd like it

 **adrikins:  
** you could've told me this before the whole  
chloe thing?

 **marinara:  
** I never said I was smart?  
don't judge me

 **adrikins:  
** i only judge you in the  
best way!

 **marinara:  
** I'm sure

 **adrikins:  
** wow i'm going to see you eat  
insane?

 **marinara:  
** I'll prove I'm not a robot  
with my mouth

 **adrikins:  
** mari?  
i'm pretty sure a robot with a mouth would be loved?

 **marinara:  
** keep your kinks away from me

 **adrikins:  
** i'm just saying!

 **marinara:  
** say it away from me  
your invite is cancelled  
I can't have you leering at me

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!


	16. 16

**AN:** A few of you have expressed your concerns for me after _bite me (politely)_. The comments have had me cackling awfully and the reaction of regulars vs new readers has made me cry. Also, it's my birthday on the 20th. I'm very excited.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: halloweeners  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **ninny:  
** mari  
can you please work your voodoo powers

 **marinara:  
** what

 **ninny:  
** and make adrien shut up

 **marinara:  
** he's not saying anything

 **Thani:  
** His delivery just came.  
He's very excited.

 **ninny:  
** youll see soon  
hes annoying

 **marinara:  
** so annoying that you met up yesterday  
right

 **ninny:  
** thats different  
i needed someone to play with

 **marinara:  
** and your first choice was that  
annoying creature

 **Thani:  
** That's a pretty accurate description.  
How was work, Mari?

 **marinara:  
** okay, I guess  
bit busy  
my back hurts from heavy lifting

 **ninny:  
** dont you work in a bakery

 **marinara:  
** don't you want to live

 **ninny:  
** ok my bad

 **Thani:  
** That sounds about right.  
Alya's at work, but she wants you to know that she loves you.

 **ninny:  
** i love her too

 **Thani:  
** No, I meant Mari.

 **marinara:  
**!  
good  
I love alya with all my heart

 **Thani:  
** If she wanted you to know, she'd just text you.  
Dumbass.

 **marinara:  
** yeah, nino  
use your fucking brain

 **ninny:  
** im gonna tell her youre both bullying me

 **marinara:  
** you deserve it

 **ninny:  
** ive helped you through so much  
been there  
thick and thin  
and this is how you repay me

 **marinara:  
** we've known each other  
eight months

 **Thani:  
** You've almost got a baby together.  
And this is how you treat him?  
For shame, Marin.

 **marinara:  
** who that

 **ninny:  
** yeah!  
marin!

 **marinara:  
** I am not marin?

 **Thani:  
** You're Marin now.  
I don't make the rules.

 **marinara:  
** what the heck  
no

 **ninny:  
** dude is right  
youre doomed now  
sorry

 **marinara:  
**?  
let's address our baby instead

 **ninny:  
** no  
it still has a month left

 **marinara:  
** don't call our baby an it  
what's wrong with you?

 **ninny:  
** me?  
youre the bad parent, marin  
im taking the child and leaving

 **marinara:  
** now its the child huh

 **Thani:  
** It, Marin?  
How dare you.

 **marinara:  
** are you fucking bullying me

 **ninny:  
** tell alya so she can laugh at you

 **marinara:  
** I don't have her number  
but I'm sure she'd defend me

 **ninny:  
** oh right  
because you only exchange it with adrien  
huh

 **marinara:  
** I  
literally have your number

 **ninny:  
** but that was in person  
so it didnt mean anything  
im so offended

 **Thani:  
** Will I ever get your number?  
It's a mystery.

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
go away  
we're meeting in like two weeks

 **Thani:  
** Two weeks too late.  
How will I make it through such harsh times?  
Without your number to comfort me, I'm doomed.

 **marinara:  
** you're reeking of virginity  
stop

 **ninny:  
** hey  
hey  
he's our virgin  
be nice

 **Thani:  
**...I've been in relationships before.

 **ninny:  
** calm down, kiddo  
im trying to defend you here  
no need to lie

 **marinara:  
** we accept you as our child  
innocent and protected

 **Thani:  
** I'm not your child.  
Isn't Adrien supposed to be the innocent one?

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
he showed us his nip  
who knows what he's into

 **ninny:  
** probably anal  
the absolute madman

 **adrikins:  
** excuse me?

 **marinara:  
** adrien!

 **ninny:  
** there he is  
can you confirm or deny the  
alligators

 **adrikins:  
**?

 **Thani:  
** Allegations.

 **ninny:  
** both

 **adrikins:  
** why?

 **marinara:  
** nothing  
nevermind  
ignore us  
hello, adrien!  
what did you get delivered?

 **adrikins:  
**...okay?  
i'll trust you  
an extra piece for my costume for chloes!  
go big or go home am i right

 **ninny:  
** you are at home

 **adrikins:  
** you're  
right...  
what do i do with my life now?

 **Thani:  
** Pretend that your friends didn't contemplate about you having anal or not.

 **adrikins:  
** ok  
i can do that

 **Thani:  
** Great.

 **adrikins:  
** but like  
is everyone else doing it then?

 **marinara:  
** adrien no!

 **adrikins:  
** ok ok  
sorry  
i just curious?

 **ninny:  
** buy me dinner first

 **adrikins:  
** i  
bought dinner for us yesterday?

 **ninny:  
** …  
you right

 **marinara:  
** you can buy me dinner without the question

 **adrikins:  
** o  
cool yeah!  
i can do that

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
I was feeling left out

 **adrikins:  
** it's ok!  
nino's just a friend

 **Thani:  
** Marinette's not a friend?  
Stone cold, Adrien.

 **adrikins:  
** i

 **ninny:  
** nath shut up  
let the children flirt

 **marinara:  
** adrien's older than you

 **ninny:  
** im more mature

 **adrikins:  
** mature?  
you cried from spicy food

 **ninny:  
** listen, man  
i looked death in the eyes while eating that  
leave me be

 **marinara:  
** pussy boy

 **Thani:  
** Nino, I don't think anyone would call you mature.

 **ninny:  
** what the hell, man  
i thought we had something special  
that youd have my back

 **Thani:  
** I'm not having a baby with you.

 **ninny:  
** too late  
its already born

 **marinara:  
** stop calling babies it  
it's so fucking rude

 **ninny:  
** go back to flirting  
leave me alone

 **adrikins:  
** this family is so confusing?  
i don't even know who's what any more

 **Thani:  
** You're all idiots.

 **marinara:  
** you're included  
don't kid yourself

 **Thani:  
** I want to leave.

 **marinara:  
** you're trapped  
bound by fate

 **ninny:  
** yeah dude  
youre stuck with me  
until alya dumps my ass

 **adrikins:  
** don't say that!

 **ninny:  
** what  
its true  
theres no way im leaving her  
unles she like  
turns out to be a murderer?

 **marinara:  
** is that the only reason

 **ninny:  
** its my main concern  
ive seen her eyeing the cutlery

 **Thani:  
** A knife would look good in you.

 **ninny:  
** now i know why youre friends

 **adrikins:  
** rip!

 **marinara:  
** I'll miss you, nino

 **ninny:  
** liar  
but the thought counts  
thanks  
really appreciate it

 **marinara:  
** I'll put flowers on your grave

 **adrikins:  
** i'll put spicy food on it!

 **ninny:  
** my best friends

 **Thani:  
** You should really get better ones.

 **ninny:  
** idk  
maris the one with connections here  
hook us up

 **adrikins:  
** you're taken!

 **ninny:  
** hook in the bro way  
you know

 **Thani:  
** Desperate.

 **ninny:  
** wtf  
you told me to get friends

 **Thani:  
** Yes, by yourself.  
Don't use others to accomplish it.

 **ninny:  
** was that supposed to be inspirational  
because i just wanna punch you in the face  
real gentle

 **adrikins:  
** be a motivational speaker!  
give us the advice we need

 **Thani:  
** Okay, I can do that.

 **marinara:  
** sensei  
what do you have for me

 **Thani:  
** I have some advice you really need to take to heart, Mari.

 **marinara:  
** do it  
hit me

 **Thani:  
** Stop flirting with Adrien.

 **adrikins:  
** but i like it!

 **ninny:  
** yeah, man  
he likes it  
fuck off with your wise words

 **marinara:  
** unhit me

 **Thani:  
** It's too late.  
The words have been spoken.

 **adrikins:  
** take them back!

 **marinara:  
** am I really flirting  
or are you just seeing things  
huh

 **ninny:  
** ive seen you with ladybug

 **marinara:  
** die.

 **ninny:  
** gasp  
so hurtful

 **adrikins:  
** it's okay, mari!  
it's just our friendship  
they don't get it!

 **marinara:  
** yes, absolutely  
you're right

 **Thani:  
** You did tell him to take you on a date.

 **marinara:  
** no  
I asked for dinner  
completely different

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
a date would be  
me cooking for her!

 **ninny:  
** dude  
youve never cooked for me?

 **adrikins:  
** we've never been on a date  
gomen

 **marinara:  
** pls don't gomen

 **Thani:  
** You mean you and Nino aren't dating?  
Colour me surprised.

 **ninny:  
** im heartbroken  
i thought we were a thing

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sorry!  
you're the light of my life!

 **ninny:  
** but only like  
a nightlight  
not a ceiling one

 **adrikins:  
** but you make my nights brighter!

 **marinara:  
** you don't talk at night

 **ninny:  
** dont ruin our moment  
mari

 **marinara:  
** ok  
my bad, please continue  
I'll just be here  
knowing that adrien talks to me at night  
so if anyone's the nightlight  
it's me.

 **Thani:  
** I'm sure you'll be more than a nightlight to someone one day.

 **marinara:  
** that's the dream  
isn't it

 **adrikins:  
** no no no!  
i wasn't trying to compare you  
pls i love you all!  
don't make me pick?

 **marinara:  
** it's too late  
I'm heartbroken

 **ninny:  
** hey  
i just said that

 **marinara:  
** suck it

 **ninny:  
** wtf

 **adrikins:  
** i'm gonna cry!

 **Thani:  
** I'm already crying.

 **ninny:  
** i hate you, marin

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** last chance!

 **marinara:  
** to ruin the surprise?  
hah  
no way, boy

 **adrikins:  
** am i at least a good boy

 **marinara:  
** idk  
are you

 **adrikins:  
** well  
i'd like to be for you?

 **marinara:  
** then, yes  
you are a good boy.

 **adrikins:  
** heck yes!  
i've gotta go soon  
you're gonna text me, yes?

 **marinara:  
** I text you daily

 **adrikins:  
** yeah but  
tonight's the night!

 **marinara:  
** are you gonna tell me your outfit yet

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
you can probably check soon  
for chloe to post a pic of us!  
she normally does that

 **marinara:  
** are you giving me  
permission to stalk you

 **adrikins:  
** i mean  
go right ahead?  
you can add me if you want!

 **marinara:  
** maybe  
I'll think about it

 **adrikins:  
** text me before you come!  
ok?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, I promise  
I will

 **adrikins:  
** if not  
i'll  
kick you?

 **marinara:  
** you don't sound too sure

 **adrikins:  
** i'll kick your head!

 **marinara:  
** threatening

 **adrikins:  
** watch out!

 **marinara:  
** I'm quaking  
in my boots

 **adrikins:  
** does that mean  
you're wearing boots?

 **marinara:  
** I don't know  
am I

 **adrikins:  
** mari pls!

 **marinara:  
** what a mystery

 **adrikins:  
** mean

 **marinara:  
** if you really need a clue  
I'll tell you later

 **adrikins:  
** pls!  
aaahhhh  
gotta go now

 **marinara:  
** ok!  
good luck

 **adrikins:  
** pls text

 **marinara:  
** who knows  
I might even call you

 **adrikins:  
** teasing isn't nice!

-x-

 **group chat: halloweeners  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Alyarr:  
** there she is  
the infamous  
marinette  
the mystery girl of the hour

 **marinara:  
** what do you want

 **ninny:  
** did you really skip work

 **marinara:  
** do you even realise  
how hungover I am  
I am literally dying

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
same as adrien  
he says hi but he's gone to bed

 **marinara:  
** yeah, he was texting me

 **Alyarr:  
** you weren't here?

 **marinara:  
** yes?  
I was texting  
from bed

 **ninny:  
** and now hes in bed  
why not be in bed together

 **leks:  
** ew

 **marinara:  
** fuck you all

 **leks:  
** that's mean  
why are u like this

 **marinara:  
** idk  
maybe because  
my head hurts right now

 **leks:  
** how is that my fault

 **ninny:  
** bitch pls  
we didnt force you to stay out and drink

 **Alyarr:  
** without even giving us updates

 **marinara:  
** who says I didn't

 **ninny:  
** you ignored my texts

 **marinara:  
** so?

 **ninny:  
** so adrien already told me last night  
that u were meeting  
dumbass

 **leks:  
** ya

 **Alyarr:  
** there's no secrets here  
we know everything

 **marinara:  
** other than anal  
right

 **Alyarr:  
** what?

 **ninny:  
** you be quiet

 **marinara:  
** make me  
bitch

 **ninny:  
** youre mean when youre hungover

 **leks:  
** she always is  
sry

 **marinara:  
** juleka  
can I come over for dinner

 **leks:  
** u just wanna mooch off of me

 **marinara:  
** literally what I just asked

 **leks:  
** fine  
but only if u message nath

 **ninny:  
** kuleka can i come over for dinner

 **Alyarr:  
** kuleka

 **marinara:  
** no wtf  
you're not welcome

 **ninny:  
** pls im starving

 **leks:  
** idk  
luka doesn't rly want to meet u

 **ninny:  
** wtf  
why not

 **leks:  
** he has to fight u for marinette

 **marinara:  
** is it to the death

 **Alyarr:  
** like  
I think you might have a weird obsession  
with death?

 **marinara:  
** maybe  
can I get rehab for that or what

 **ninny:  
** dont think so  
sorry

 **marinara:  
** guess I'm fucked

 **Alyarr:  
** I mean  
you wish you were

 **marinara:  
** excuse me?

 **Alyarr:  
** bitch  
you got your biggest fan mooing over you

 **marinara:  
** mooing

 **ninny:  
** mooing!

 **Alyarr:  
** shut the fuck up  
kuleka boy

 **leks:  
** tell u what  
donate to luka  
and u can come to dinner

 **ninny:  
** what no  
my moneys going to mari

 **marinara:  
** I'll refund it  
I don't want your dirty money

 **ninny:  
** wtf  
then ill give it to nath  
and ask for a bad pic

 **leks:  
** i like that idea  
do that

 **ninny:  
** a romantic painting  
of mari and adrien

 **marinara:  
** why

 **ninny:  
** wait  
alya can u text nath

 **Alyarr:  
** what  
you do it

 **ninny:  
** babe  
pls  
my phone is so far away

 **Alyarr:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** come on

 **Alyarr:  
** he's busy

 **ninny:  
** fucking fine  
im so sad

 **marinara:  
** you took the words right out of my mouth

 **leks:  
** ur literally depressed  
of course ur sad

 **marinara:  
** wtf

 **Alyarr:  
** shocking

 **ninny:  
** lets make a sad club  
sad bros

 **marinara:  
** worst name ever

 **ninny:  
** you dont wanna be bros with me?  
after everything?

 **marinara:  
** I'm almost giving birth  
to our child  
and you want to be bros?

 **Alyarr:  
** excuse me  
what

 **marinara:  
** you scoundrel

 **ninny:  
** mari, no  
dont leave me

 **marinara:  
** it's too late, nino  
I'm leaving  
and I'm taking the dog

 **ninny:  
** no!  
not adrien

 **marinara:  
** I must  
he's mine now

 **Alyarr:  
** bitch  
what the heck

 **leks:  
** as interesting as this is  
i'm gonna go see my girlfriend  
bye

 **ninny:  
** everyone is leaving me  
soon i will be alone  
so alone

 **Alyarr:  
** babe  
I'm right here

 **ninny:  
** alone...

 **marinara:  
** bye

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** You do know you could've gotten a discount if you told me?

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
I wanted to pay full price?  
it shows I appreciate you  
right

 **Thani:  
** I think the tip did that just fine.

 **marinara:  
** you right

 **Thani:  
** So.

 **marinara:  
** so

 **Thani:  
** You really have pink hair, huh?

 **marinara:  
** that's  
how you're starting this?

 **Thani:  
** I'm awkward, sorry.

 **marinara:  
** well  
I'm the awkward one in this situation  
right?  
I could've been upfront from the beginning

 **Thani:  
** But you didn't want to be Ladybug, it's fine.

 **marinara:  
** I lied?

 **Thani:  
** To be honest, Mari.  
It was a little rude, yeah.  
But I'd probably do the same, if I was in your shoes.  
I can't resent you for that.

 **marinara:  
** sorry for telling you last

 **Thani:  
** It's fine.  
Not like Juleka ever mentioned about her brother, right?

 **marinara:  
** her brother's a separate person?  
I'm literally the same

 **Thani:  
** Kind of.  
But I like the bakery worker Marinette more than Ladybug.

 **marinara:  
** is that  
a compliment or not  
because I literally am the same person  
I just didn't want anyone to freak out since you all seemed so nice?

 **Thani:  
** I get it, really.  
Nino probably would've told you to fuck off.

 **marinara:  
** there's that  
and idk how anyone else would've  
reacted  
if I just straight up told them  
it's not like I put them on stream or anything?  
only all my free time

 **Thani:  
** You're not... ashamed of it or anything, are you?

 **marinara:  
** of  
streaming?

 **Thani:  
** Yeah.

 **marinara:  
** what  
no  
it's literally how I make my money  
I do love it but  
some people only really want to befriend me to try and get popular  
or appear on my stream

 **Thani:  
** And you thought we'd worm our way in?

 **marinara:  
** it could've happened  
I mean  
it has in the past?

 **Thani:  
** That can't be good for your self-esteem.

 **marinara:  
** thanks for caring about that, I guess  
idk  
I thought adrien's friend  
you know  
his best friend that's like a sister?  
I met her and I thought it was just to  
boast about it  
but she's actually quite nice

 **Thani:  
** Well, I'm glad that worked out for you.  
And that you have a new friend, I think.

 **marinara:  
** I guess

 **Thani:  
** I'm going to be honest.

 **marinara:  
** shoot

 **Thani:  
** I'm not going to stop talking to you or anything because of this.  
It fills in the blanks of why you didn't tell us much about yourself.  
But did you really not trust me?

 **marinara:  
** no, I do  
really  
I just  
idk  
thought you'd get mad or something?  
and you're like one of my best friends, nath  
I really didn't want that

 **Thani:  
** Then you'd know that I wouldn't do that.  
How many hours have we stayed up together?  
I know Adrien's in the picture now, and that's fine.  
I'm not upset.

 **marinara:  
** what  
I'm not replacing you or anything

 **Thani:  
** Not what I meant.  
I know you wouldn't do that.  
But you like him, don't you?  
Since you can't really date yourself, you know.

 **marinara:  
** what  
no  
I don't like him?

 **Thani:  
** I'm sure.

 **marinara:  
** can we go back to being  
mad at me

 **Thani:  
** I'm not mad.  
I'm just disappointed.

 **marinara:  
** okay, mother

 **Thani:  
** I'd be the best mother you'd ever have.

 **marinara:  
** okay, mommy  
is that your kink

 **Thani:  
** Yeah, definitely turned off right now.  
Sorry, Mari. You're not my type any more.

 **marinara:  
** what  
not into me now?

 **Thani:  
** I haven't been for a while, sorry.

 **marinara:  
** I'm offended

 **Thani:  
** I'm friend-zoning you.

 **marinara:  
** but I did that to you

 **Thani:  
** And it's my time to do it right back to you.  
Here's some advice, though.

 **marinara:  
** please no more advice

 **Thani:  
** Maybe, just maybe, don't pretend to date yourself in the future.  
It sets you up for failure.

 **marinara:  
** it's not my fault  
juleka's a cuck

 **Thani:  
** You could've admitted it any time.

 **marinara:  
** I did!  
none of you believed me

 **Thani:  
** Work on the delivery.  
When you're not drunk.

 **marinara:  
** fuck you  
also don't take any commissions from nino

 **Thani:  
** I don't know.  
I'm not one to say no to money.

 **marinara:  
** fine  
I'm going to commission you instead  
and pay you extra not to accept it

 **Thani:  
** That's called bribery.

 **marinara:  
** are you complaining?

 **Thani:  
** No, no. Go ahead.  
I'm intrigued.

 **marinara:  
** draw nino ripping his shirt open  
with sparkles

 **Thani:  
**...This is just sounding like a fantasy.

 **marinara:  
** and a rose in his mouth

 **Thani:  
** A very specific fantasy.

 **marinara:  
** confessing his love to adrien

 **Thani:  
** Ah, got it.  
You want to imagine yourself as Nino.

 **marinara:  
** what  
no?

 **Thani:  
** It's okay, Mari.  
I'll get it done, just for you.

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
I think

 **Thani:  
** How detailed are we talking here?

 **marinara:  
** what if I pay extra  
can you bump it up your commission list  
for adrien's birthday

 **Thani:  
** You're already paying extra, remember?  
For the bribe.

 **marinara:  
** yeah, you're right  
extra extra

 **Thani:  
** If it's a doodle, I can definitely get it done.

 **marinara:  
** perfect  
make it super stupid

 **Thani:  
** Nothing can be stupider than you.  
I said that in the nicest way possible.

 **marinara:  
** you say that but  
someday I'll tell my kids  
about the time I dated myself

 **Thani:  
** Don't tell them about you masturbating, you weirdo.  
That's inappropriate.

 **marinara:  
** pls leave me alone

 **Thani:  
** I can't, I'm your number one fan.  
Will you sign my chest?

 **marinara:  
** no what the heck

 **Thani:  
** For real, though.  
Does anyone ask that?

 **marinara:  
** no?  
but I have been stopped for pictures  
ahh  
twice since the pink hair  
fucking terrifying

 **Thani:  
** I'm going to pretend to be your biggest fan when we meet.

 **marinara:  
** pretend?  
you draw fanart for me

 **Thani:  
** I drew the emotes you asked for.  
That's entirely different.

 **marinara:  
** it's fanart if I want it to be

 **Thani:  
** I'll fanart you and Milkshake.

 **marinara:  
** what  
no  
I'm not into chloé!

 **Thani:  
** Chloé?


	17. 17

**AN:** Hello. It is my birthday today and my kitten tried to eat my balloons. Here's Chloé in the mix and I've changed her nickname like three times before deciding on the one she'll get soon.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** you  
are very pretty

 **marinara:  
** what do you want

 **adrikins:  
** nothing!  
i'm just telling you

 **marinara:  
** you've told me multiple times  
and now I'm suspicious  
what do you want from me, you monster?

 **adrikins:  
** love and affection?

 **marinara:  
** sorry  
can't do that

 **adrikins:  
** pls!

 **marinara:  
** nope  
that's not for lightweights

 **adrikins:  
** you were as light as me?  
we had the same amount!

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
I'm smaller than you

 **adrikins:  
** and prettier!

 **marinara:  
** so you've said  
now do you see why I'm suspicious  
you're being so  
nice

 **adrikins:  
** i'm always nice to you!

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
now you're even nicer

 **adrikins:  
** now i know your nice face!

 **marinara:  
** you do, yes

 **adrikins:  
** so you admit it!  
you think your face is nice!

 **marinara:  
** I'm cute as heck  
what's your point here

 **adrikins:  
** good!  
just wanted you to know that  
and i'll keep seeing it

 **marinara:  
** seeing?

 **adrikins:  
** i meant saying!  
but seeing works too!  
since you're still letting me see you tomorrow  
right?

 **marinara:  
** well, yeah  
if you want to?  
don't feel forced to come in

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
i am coming after your shift  
and we're going to get lunch!  
that is the plan!

 **marinara:  
** plans can change  
if you want them to

 **adrikins:  
** i want to see you!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
I want to see you, too

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
that's why we're meeting up  
keep with the times, mari

 **marinara:  
** okay, no need to be so  
sassy

 **adrikins:  
** i can't help it!  
you bring out my sassy side

 **marinara:  
** mm  
I'm sure

 **adrikins:  
** you do!  
also chloe says to check your phone

 **marinara:  
** it's on charge  
across the room

 **adrikins:  
** pls she's spamming me!  
save me!

 **marinara:  
** why?

 **adrikins:  
** because you're ignoring her!  
you can't do that  
that's bad!

 **marinara:  
** I'm bad.

 **adrikins:  
** no you're not  
you're like  
the nicest person

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
that's me  
the nicest person

 **adrikins:  
** it's what i like about you!

 **marinara:  
** that I'm nice?

 **adrikins:  
** and pretty too!  
it's a killer combination!  
be proud

 **marinara:  
** you're also pretty

 **adrikins:  
** thanks!  
but compared to you?  
you?  
i am but a child

 **marinara:  
** you're older than me  
and taller

 **adrikins:  
** a child!

 **marinara:  
** I got asked for id and you didn't

 **adrikins:  
** are you... saying i'm your sugar daddy

 **marinara:  
** what  
no?

 **adrikins:  
** but i could be!  
in other people's eyes!

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck  
no **  
**it's not that big of a difference

 **adrikins:  
** i don't know, mari!  
you do only come up to my shoulder!

 **marinara:  
** do you know what that means

 **adrikins:  
** that you're cute?

 **marinara:  
** it means I can punch your face  
but I'd still be cute if I was taller than you  
don't forget that

 **adrikins:  
** i'd never!

 **marinara:  
** good  
glad we sorted that out

 **adrikins:  
** i'm glad we did too!

 **marinara:  
** great

 **adrikins:  
** good!

 **marinara:  
** gotta stream soon but  
are you gonna be watching?  
wait  
was that weird to ask

 **adrikins:  
** no no no!  
it's not weird at all  
i'll be watching!  
sometimes it's muted so I can  
do my work without distractions  
your screams scare me

 **marinara:  
** I don't scream that much?

 **adrikins:  
** you do when you get surprised!

 **marinara:  
** barely ever

 **adrikins:  
** enough to make me jump!

 **marinara:  
** that's because I jumped!  
it's only fair if the same happens to you

 **adrikins:  
** you want to share things with me?  
that's so sweet!

 **marinara:  
** I'd share all my things with you

 **adrikins:  
** even  
your hair dye?

 **marinara:  
** we are not dying your hair  
your dad would literally kill you

 **adrikins:  
** true but  
the real question is  
how long it would take him to see it  
let's all take bets

 **marinara:  
** no.

 **adrikins:  
** pls?

 **marinara:  
** no!  
I'm not getting you in trouble with him  
he's already enough of a dick

 **adrikins:  
** an absent dick  
on a business trip for the week!

 **marinara:  
** that's great  
run through the halls from your freedom

 **adrikins:  
** there's still people here!  
but now i can let plagg roam free  
free as a bird

 **marinara:  
** doesn't he eat birds

 **adrikins:  
** not often!  
usually gives them to me  
all proud and murdery!

 **marinara:  
** murdery

 **adrikins:  
** it's murder if they're dead?

 **marinara:  
** you right  
what a great gift

 **adrikins:  
** i cry on the inside and pet him!

-x-

 **group chat: marin and kuleka are lame  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Thani:  
** There she is.  
How was your date?

 **marinara:  
** it was not a date?

 **ninny:  
** yeah, mari!  
how was it?

 **marinara:**  
nath  
what the fuck  
I told you that in confidence  
you cuck

 **Alyarr:  
** trying to keep secrets?  
don't be ridiculous  
that never works here

 **marinara:  
** apparently?

 **Thani:  
** We can't help but notice that you're here before Adrien.

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

 **ninny:  
** is he in your bed  
is that it

 **leks:  
** as if

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
don't attack me like this

 **Alyarr:  
** tell us where the boy is  
and you'll be fine

 **marinara:  
** why are you all here?

 **Thani:  
** Because that's what the chat's for?  
Idiot.

 **leks:  
** ye  
what he said

 **marinara:  
** we're like  
never all here?

 **leks:  
** maybe we are  
when ur at work  
u don't know that

 **marinara:  
** bitch you haven't been here for months

 **leks:  
** i got summoned back

 **marinara:  
** yeah, to torment me

 **leks:  
** go kiss urself in the mirror

 **Alyarr:  
** indulge in some self-love  
go on

 **ninny:  
** where is the boy!

 **marinara:  
** …  
you're all the worst

 **Thani:**  
We're just invested in your life.  
Now that we know it, that is.

 **marinara:  
** don't stalk me

 **ninny:  
** but we know everything about you  
i can fucking google you  
isnt that insane

 **marinara:  
** right?  
pls don't

 **Alyarr:  
** mhmm  
you do know that there's  
a link to your personal account now?  
like  
since those new pics with chloe  
it's known who you are

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
that was bound to happen?  
I did go to like  
a model's party

 **Alyarr:  
** and posed drunkenly with adrien  
we've got the deets  
now where he at

 **marinara:  
** he walked me home, okay  
it's in the opposite direction to his  
so he'll be a while

 **Thani:  
** And you didn't even let him meet Adrien the dog?  
Stone cold.

 **marinara:  
** it's not my dog!

 **ninny:  
** sweet dog tho  
i like it

 **marinara:  
** stop calling things it

 **ninny:  
** make me

 **marinara:  
** are you trying to fight me

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
pussy

 **Alyarr:  
** okay children  
calm down  
you can fight soon

 **ninny:  
** i can literally go challenge her to fight tomorrow

 **marinara:  
** you're banned from my work

 **ninny:  
** what why

 **marinara:  
** I don't want you to meet my parents  
pls stop

 **Alyarr:  
** all the lies are coming out  
now you work for your family too  
how could you keep this from us  
along with chloe

 **marinara:  
** why won't anyone do the é

 **Alyarr:  
** I don't know her  
so she doesn't deserve it

 **Thani:  
** She can earn it when we know her.

 **ninny:  
** im working on it  
slowly

 **marinara:  
** I doubt adrien wants her in here?

 **Thani:  
** You thought wrong.

 **Alyarr:  
** she's almost agreeing with it  
we can get the milknet action soon

 **marinara:  
** dude  
no  
you don't just tell someone  
that you ship them with me

 **ninny:  
** make us

 **marinara:  
** don't do it?

 **Thani:  
** From what Adrien's said, I'm sure Chloe would be happy with it.

 **marinara:  
** you did é before!

 **ninny:  
** shes your friend, not ours

 **leks:  
** so mean  
ur all heartless

 **ninny:  
** and youre a mouse irl  
whats your point

 **marinara:  
** hey  
don't be mean to juleka  
I'll cut you

 **Thani:  
** Do you need anger management, Mari?

 **marinara:  
** wanna find out

 **leks:  
** she's punched for me before  
she'll do it

 **ninny:  
** real  
but shes so small

 **marinara:  
** like  
I'm not even that small?

 **leks:  
** can confirm  
she's smallest here  
sry

 **marinara:  
** dude?

 **leks:  
** my girlfriend is smaller tho  
is that better

 **ninny:  
** your girlfriend is not welcome here  
mari is our resident gremlin

 **marinara:  
** feed me  
after midnight

 **Thani:  
** You do tend to snack when you stay up.

 **marinara:  
** you can't keep a secret to save your life?

 **Thani:  
** That's not a secret at all.  
Adrien knows about it, too.

 **Alyarr:  
** unless she killed him off  
he's still not here

 **marinara:  
** he's walking home  
you fucks

 **ninny:  
** suspicious

 **marinara:  
** literally text him

 **ninny:  
** no

 **Thani:  
** I don't have his number.

 **Alyarr:  
** same

 **ninny:  
** just ask and he will tell you his social security number  
the name of his first pet  
and the worst thing hes ever done

 **Thani:  
** You mean befriending you?

 **Alyarr:  
** burn

 **ninny:  
** im sad now

 **marinara:  
** good.

 **adrikins has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** hewwo!

 **marinara:  
** …  
kick him

 **leks:  
** blocked

 **ninny:  
** sdglokhdj

 **adrikins:  
** aah?  
sorry, nino dared me too!  
i'm not that bad, i promise

 **Alyarr:  
**...are you sure

 **adrikins:  
** pwease don't kick me

 **marinara:  
** why didn't you get hit by a car

 **Thani:  
** I second that.

 **adrikins:  
** because you told me to be careful!  
okok  
it's out of my system!  
i'll be good now

 **ninny:  
** fucking spectacular

 **leks:  
** was it worth it

 **adrikins:  
** not really?  
i'm just lost

 **Thani:  
** Stay innocent, Adrien.  
Never listen to Nino again.

 **adrikins:  
** but he's my best friend

 **ninny:  
** my man!

 **adrikins:  
** well  
after mari!  
sorry

 **marinara:  
** fuck yeah

 **leks:  
** rip nino  
friend-zoned

 **Alyarr:  
** mari is the best of us all  
it's true  
I can understand that

 **marinara:  
** am I above nino for everyone

 **Thani:  
** And on the scoreboards, too.  
Always.

 **ninny:  
** mari pls teach me

 **marinara:  
** I dunno, man  
I think you're pretty  
unteachable  
you just wanna scream at people on mic

 **ninny:  
** yeah but  
you can use your mic with us now?

 **Alyarr:  
** no more no mic  
bullshit  
eh mari

 **marinara:  
** um

 **adrikins:  
** you can talk to us!

 **Thani:  
** Yeah, but does she even want to?  
That's the real question.

 **ninny:  
** of course she does  
fuck off

 **leks:  
** can i just lurk in the channel  
i've still got it uninstalled

 **Thani:  
** You have to game to join the gang.

 **leks:  
** ur gang doesn't even have a name  
u posers

 **Alyarr:  
** you're right  
we need a name

 **marinara:  
** no  
we really do not

 **adrikins:  
** and matching jackets!

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **adrikins:  
** wear matching clothes with me, mari!  
we'll look great!

 **leks:  
** ye mari  
get a couple outfit with him

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **adrikins:  
** but then we'll be so cute

 **ninny:  
** im always cute

 **Alyarr:  
** not really, babe  
sorry.

 **Thani:  
** Matching jackets is a bit expensive.  
We've already got the names.

 **ninny:  
** fine  
adrien

 **adrikins:  
** yes?

 **ninny:  
** hows the new recruit coming along

 **Alyarr:  
** the one with no accent  
the accentless

 **marinara:  
** we all have accents  
don't be ridiculous

 **Alyarr:  
** fuck off  
you know what I mean

 **adrikins:  
** she's downloading it later!  
at least  
she said she is?  
she might forget  
she's not very good at remembering stuff

 **ninny:  
** no wonder youre friends

 **Thani:  
** Well, that and that they're both good-looking.

 **Alyarr:  
** whoa whoa  
calm down dude

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
he is speaking all of our minds

 **ninny:  
** idk  
what does she look like again

 **Alyarr:  
** an angel that could've been kissing mari's dumb face  
but no  
we got denied that

 **marinara:  
** stop?

 **adrikins:  
** she's really missing out!

 **Thani:  
** You've messed up, Mari.

 **adrikins:  
** no i meant chloe!

 **marinara:  
** …  
thanks?

 **leks:  
** can u like  
not do that

 **adrikins:  
** do what?

 **leks:  
** the favouritism  
i'm onto u

 **ninny:  
** but we all love mari  
shes all our favourite

 **marinara:  
** fuck you too

 **ninny:  
** see  
shes so full of charm

 **Alyarr:  
** we love you mari  
please love us back

 **marinara:  
** I'll think about it

 **Alyarr:  
** and think about our hug in the future  
I'm longing for it

 **marinara:  
** is it gonna be tight

 **Alyarr:  
** the breath will leave your lungs  
like in a bad story  
you'll be breathless at my touch

 **ninny:  
** can i have that too

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah sure

 **ninny:  
** with mari

 **marinara:  
** can we not all break my ribs pls

 **adrikins:  
** i can still hug you, right?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, of course  
don't be silly

 **Thani:  
** Yes, that's definitely being silly.  
When do you think you'll get Chloe to join, Adrien?

 **adrikins:  
** ahhh  
either in like  
the next two hours  
or tomorrow?  
i can go round hers and really set it up  
if she takes too long

 **Thani:  
** If you stall until tomorrow, I'll have a surprise for her.

 **Alyarr:  
**...what are you doing

 **Thani:  
** Being a kind person.  
And giving everyone what they want.

 **ninny:  
** bake me a cake

 **Thani:  
** Maybe if you're nice.

 **adrikins:  
** ok!  
i can do that

 **Thani:  
** Thanks.

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
**!  
i know you said that you didn't mind these  
offline messages  
but i really am sorry if they're annoying  
but you're the top streamer right now and i'm so? happy?  
like yeah! that's my friend!  
but i'm not going into chat to say that  
i'm just  
very happy that you're doing so well?  
i'm so proud of you!  
i mean  
you've been doing this all along  
but now i can see your cute face as you concentrate and everything?  
all your reactions are great  
and i really can hear the dog  
how did i not realise that before  
i'm your biggest fan  
and now you're my best friend oh my god?  
how did that happen?  
i'm going to cry myself to sleep?  
i really am going to bed!  
i'll speak to you tomorrow, mari!  
you're great  
everything about you is great!  
keep it up!

 **marinara:  
** oh my god you're a dork  
I really love it  
I mean  
you  
yeah  
if you ever talk in the chat, I'll try and respond?  
can't promise anything  
it does go kinda fast  
sad you went to bed tonight  
but these messages really made me happy!  
sleep well

-x-

 **group chat: marin and kuleka are lame  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hello  
I have updates

 **Thani:  
** About what?  
Also, hi. You've been greatly missed.

 **leks:  
** we wanted ur opinion earlier  
but it's settled now  
not telling u

 **Thani:  
** Sorry, Mari.  
They've asked me to keep a vow of silence.

 **Alyarr:  
** are you a fucking monk

 **marinara:  
** there's nothing holy about you  
I know your kinks

 **leks:  
** what do u two do at night

 **Thani:  
** Have heart-to-hearts.

 **marinara:  
** I know too much about him

 **Thani:  
** I admit, it's a bit weird now that I can imagine your face.

 **Alyarr:  
** let's not pretend you weren't trying to before  
right my man

 **Thani:  
**...Be quiet.

 **marinara:  
** it's ok  
I won't tell them your secrets  
we're friends for a reason

 **Alyarr:  
** and the reason is nino  
isn't that strange to think about

 **leks:  
** his rage brought us all together  
apparently  
and made me run away

 **Thani:  
** Yeah, but now you're back just because of Mari.  
Didn't you miss us?

 **leks:  
** eh

 **Thani:  
** Thanks.  
Real good for my self-esteem.

 **Alyarr:  
** we love you too

 **adrikins has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** adrien!

 **Alyarr:  
** hi dude

 **adrikins:  
** i have arrived!

 **marinara:  
** chloé's joining now right

 **adrikins:  
** yeah?  
how did you know?

 **marinara:  
** she text me, you doofus  
was about to say it but  
no one asked me my news  
sad

 **Thani:  
** I literally did ask.

 **Alyarr:  
** you're nothing to her now  
sorry

 **marinara:  
** you're dead to me

 **Thani:  
** I'm crying.

 **adrikins:  
** nino's coming on too!  
in a sec!

 **marinara:  
** here we go  
have you warned her about the milknet shit?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
she loves it

 **marinara:  
** …  
ok

 **Alyarr:  
** fuck yes

 **ninny has joined the chat**

 **ninny:  
** here we go boys  
our new member is coming  
will they make it past the trial stage

 **adrikins:  
** i believe in her!

 **Alyarr:  
** let's go!

 **ninny:  
** ok ok  
im doing it

 **ninny has invited chloé to the chat  
chloé has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** chloe!

 **marinara:  
** hi, chloé  
welcome to the gang, I guess

 **chloé:  
** why the fuck is ur name that  
u hate that nickname

 **ninny:  
** hello  
im nino and im the leader around these parts  
these are my minions

 **Thani:  
** Not quite, buddy.  
Hi, I'm Nathaniel.

 **Alyarr:  
** alya!  
it's nice to meet you  
we've heard a lot about you  
from adrien and mari both  
for many months

 **marinara:  
** can you not

 **leks:  
** hi

 **marinara:  
** that's juleka

 **chloé:  
** ok  
hi hello  
first of all i will not send anyone nudes  
lets put that out there first  
are we clear

 **adrikins:  
** chloe no!  
i told you that was a mistake!

 **chloé:  
** u can see his nipples but mine are a different matter  
ok

 **marinara:  
** understood  
I definitely do not want to see your nipples

 **chloé:  
** wtf  
ud be blessed to see them  
fuck u

 **marinara:  
** I'm sure

 **leks:  
** mari only has eyes for herself  
sry

 **marinara:  
** we're past that joke?

 **chloé:  
** wat

 **adrikins:  
** nothing!

 **ninny:  
** all weve heard from mari is bitching  
about u ordering milkshakes

 **Alyarr:  
** and adrien singing your praises  
he likes you very much  
so the complete opposite

 **Thani:  
** To be fair, we thought they were both talking about different people.

 **chloé:  
** like  
thanks for talking about me  
i dont really care that much  
but tell me more

 **adrikins:  
** don't be embarrassing!

 **chloé:  
** who

 **adrikins:  
** you!

 **chloé:  
** i can be embarrassing if u want  
bitch  
are u challenging me

 **adrikins:  
** oh my god no?

 **leks:  
** ye  
he is  
pls embarrass him

 **adrikins:  
** no?

 **Thani:  
** Embarrassing each other pretty much sums up this chat, though.

 **marinara:  
** does it  
because I can talk about those kinks now  
if you want

 **chloé:  
** o  
yeah do that  
adrien wants to know about ur kinks

 **ninny:  
** aslkjsdgdfh  
yes  
tell adrien them

 **adrikins:  
** i do not!

 **chloé:  
** wait  
ur nino  
arent u

 **ninny:  
** yes?  
i did say so

 **chloé:  
** if u think ur gonna be his new best friend  
uve got another thing coming

 **ninny:  
** what

 **chloé:  
** im watching u

 **adrikins:  
** sdlgjdhd?

 **Thani:  
** Mari's his best friend here, not Nino.

 **ninny:  
** fuck you?  
im a close second

 **chloé:  
** yeah  
shes fine  
im not threatened by her  
continue on with ur secret night talks

 **adrikins:  
** why did i invite you here at all?

 **ninny:  
** im the one that invited  
now i feel like shes gonna shank me

 **chloé:  
** pls  
thats too undignified

 **marinara:  
** I'm sure.

 **chloé:  
** anyway  
whats this about mari admiring me  
because i understand  
i am very nice to look at

 **leks:  
** more like her death glaring at u

 **Alyarr:  
** over romantic milkshakes

 **Thani:  
** The blender's the sound of love.

 **chloé:  
** i mean  
id be down for it  
wanna go on a date with me mari

 **adrikins:  
** she's joking!  
she said she'd do this!

 **Alyarr:  
** all I want is happiness for my babies

 **marinara:  
** can I just  
go to sleep forever

 **chloé:  
** fucking rude  
anyway  
ur going on a double date with me

 **marinara:  
** no  
I'm not?

 **chloé:  
** this is me asking

 **adrikins:  
** you're demanding?

 **chloé:  
** same thing  
fuck off  
ur coming along with me

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **chloé:  
** ye u are  
i need back up and adrien cant be it

 **marinara:  
** do you not have other friends?

 **chloé:  
** wtf **  
**im picking you  
feel blessed

 **marinara:  
** I don't want to date anyone?

 **chloé:  
** yes yes  
thats nice  
its next week pls come along

 **adrikins:  
** but

 **chloé:  
** so this was nice  
but im bored now  
bye

 **adrikins:  
** what?

 **chloé has left the chat**

 **leks:  
** so  
that was interesting

 **Alyarr:  
** have fun on that double-date  
I'm sure you'll meet someone nice!

 **marinara:  
** …  
I'm not going on one?

 **adrikins:  
** she's  
not gonna leave you alone unless you agree?  
why is this happening

 **ninny:  
** as long as its not saturday  
its fine

 **Thani:  
** You're not going to ditch us, are you, Juleka?

 **leks:  
** idk  
are u gonna call me kuleka to my face

 **ninny:  
** he wont  
but i will


	18. 18

**AN:** If it wasn't clear enough, Adrien and Marinette definitely met up at Chloé's party, two chapters ago. They hung out and then got drunk together. Adrien absolutely knows she's Ladybug, there was no confusion there. They're still friends here, only flirting.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: milknet otp  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** …  
why is this the name

 **leks:  
** becus we got told  
about ur work visit

 **ninny:  
** nath blessed us with something

 **marinara:  
** can't have been his presence

 **ninny:  
** how dare you?  
we love and respect nath in this house

 **marinara:  
** no, you don't  
you literally want to fight him  
for cock-blocking you

 **ninny:  
** times have changed  
he supports my decisions now

 **leks:  
** like making adrien cry

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
exactly

 **marinara:  
** I'm just  
gonna leave

 **leks:  
** u can't do that

 **marinara:  
** why not  
I only came on to see if adrien was here

 **leks:  
** bitch u just text him now  
don't lie

 **marinara:  
** fine  
and to speak to you losers  
but now I regret that

 **ninny:  
** true love

 **marinara:  
** I really am going tho  
pls don't call the police if I don't reply  
phone will be on silent

 **leks:  
** why are u so dramatic  
all ur doing is seeing luka

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
and locking the door so you can't come in  
we're gonna be busy

 **ninny:  
** i dont ship this

 **marinara:  
** neither do we

 **leks:  
** same  
pls don't fuck my brother

 **marinara:  
** I promise not to fuck your brother  
swear on my life  
all that jazz

 **leks:  
** thanks

 **ninny:  
** im gonna hold you to that

 **marinara:  
** not like you'll ever find out if I break it

 **ninny:  
** kuleka will tell me  
and everyone else

 **leks:  
** idk  
i'm not that much of a dick

 **marinara:  
** reassuring  
what did nath do then

 **ninny:  
** besides ditch us for class?  
he gave us an  
absolute gem

 **leks:  
** i'm framing it

 **marinara:  
** what  
does that mean

 **ninny:  
** _(image: drawing of chloé and marinette embracing)_

 **marinara:  
** I

 **leks:  
** otp  
ladybug can fk off

 **ninny:  
** the selfcest is over  
we are moving onto this now

 **marinara:  
** you were on this anyway?

 **leks:  
** ye  
but now chloe's supporting it too

 **ninny:  
** she loves it

 **marinara:  
** she probably loves that she's being drawn  
not that it's with me?

 **ninny:  
** no  
its you  
shes your fan remember

 **marinara:  
** fans don't ship themselves with me

 **leks:  
** guess adrien's not a fan

 **marinara:  
** ha  
ha

 **ninny:  
** that was his surprise for her  
btw  
when she joined i mean

 **marinara:  
** I hate everything  
why didn't I bribe him not to do that

 **ninny:  
** jokes on you  
he accepted my commission anyway?

 **marinara:  
** …  
this is even worse

 **leks:  
** is it a nsfw one

 **ninny:  
** idk  
who knows  
certainly not me

 **marinara:  
** don't you fucking dare?

 **ninny:  
** im not doing anything  
naths the one holding the pen  
and controlling the penis

 **marinara:  
** you are not  
commissioning him for porn of me and adrien

 **leks:  
** but  
it would be a good birthday present

 **marinara:  
** my birthday was months ago

 **ninny:  
** for adrien  
not you  
dont be so stuck up

 **leks:  
** ye  
ur awful

 **marinara:  
** me  
me.  
I'm the awful one here  
yes, me

 **leks:  
** i know u  
so i can confidently say yes

 **marinara:  
** I'm gonna fuck your brother

 **leks:  
** fk no

 **marinara:  
** watch me

 **ninny:**  
mari  
are you making a porno  
or asking her to watch

 **marinara:  
** …

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** you have betrayed me  
I cannot go on like this any more  
not when I'm wounded  
but hey  
now you actually have drawn fanart for me  
thanks, babe  
xo

-x-

 **group chat: milknet otp**  
 **marinara has joined the chat**

 **chloé:  
** there she is  
my true love

 **marinara:  
** I'll leave

 **chloé:  
** why  
u flirted with me earlier

 **marinara:  
** I told you to fuck off

 **chloé:  
** exactly what i just said

 **Thani:  
** I'm really seeing the chemistry.

 **marinara:  
** I think I had more with you  
sorry

 **Thani:  
** Don't you mean with Luka?  
We all saw you last night.

 **Alyarr:  
** like  
everyone but you was here crying last night  
over that stream mari  
it brought us all together

 **marinara:  
** why  
would you be crying

 **Alyarr:  
** many reasons

 **chloé:  
** jealousy for some  
u know  
the normal

 **Thani:  
** Yes, completely normal.  
Juleka really didn't appreciate the locked door.

 **marinara:  
** my ass  
she never comes in if the camera's on  
you can't fool me

 **Thani:  
** It was worth a try.

 **chloé:  
** so  
ur nerdy friends arent too bad

 **marinara:  
** thanks?  
but they're adrien's friends too

 **chloé:  
** pls  
he only talks about u

 **marinara:  
** then why did you recognise nino  
I can see through your lies?

 **chloé:  
** hes literally here  
talking about u right now

 **marinara:  
**?

 **chloé:  
** idk  
something about u being pretty  
i mean  
guess u are but  
he hasnt even complimented me yet

 **marinara:  
** you literally compliment yourself  
daily

 **chloé:  
** i deserve it  
whats ur point

 **marinara:  
** clearly not important  
my bad

 **chloé:  
** good  
now can u pls  
reply to adrien  
so he will shut up

 **marinara:  
** yeah, okay  
hang on

 **chloé:  
** thanks  
now confirm ur coming on that date with me

 **marinara:  
** no, I'm busy

 **chloé:  
** i didnt say when

 **marinara:  
** I'm always busy

 **chloé:  
** i saw u today

 **marinara:  
** yeah, busy at work  
what did you think I was doing

 **chloé:  
** u were on ur phone  
fucking liar

 **marinara:  
** no, I wasn't

 **chloé:  
** u were texting adrien

 **marinara:  
** you've got no proof

 **chloé:  
** he told me  
u reply to him quicker at work  
than when ur done  
and it makes him whine

 **marinara:  
** I  
don't like your friendship

 **chloé:  
** and i dont like u

 **marinara:  
** yes, you do  
you wouldn't be here otherwise

 **chloé:  
** i was gonna say i love u instead  
wed be a cute couple  
but ur annoying  
no thanks

 **marinara:  
** I wasn't offering

 **chloé:  
** ya but  
all ur friends are

 **marinara:  
** nath isn't

 **chloé:  
** he fanarts us

 **marinara:  
** that  
was not fanart

 **chloé:  
** i posted it earlier  
sry  
its fanart

 **marinara:  
** …  
I hate everything

 **chloé:  
** everything but me

 **marinara:  
** no  
especially you  
I've been cursing your name for many months

 **chloé:  
** but now for kinkier reasons

 **marinara:  
** death is kinky

 **chloé:  
** dying from my killer looks

 **marinara:  
** you look nicer than your personality

 **chloé:  
** thanks  
thats my best feature

 **marinara:  
** it was an insult

 **chloé:  
** no one can match up to my face  
its ok to admit it

 **marinara:  
** that's  
not what I said

 **chloé:  
** im sure

 **marinara:  
** scroll up

 **chloé:  
** no thanks

 **marinara:  
** why are you like this

 **chloé:  
** idk  
did u kill ur two nerd friends off  
or something

 **marinara:  
** they probably got distracted  
they like  
live together

 **chloé:  
** wasnt she with that other one

 **marinara:  
** that other one  
was the only name you remembered

 **chloé:  
** i remembered u  
feel appreciated

 **marinara:  
** thanks

 **chloé:  
** is this some cult  
where everyones dating  
or what

 **marinara:  
**?  
only alya and nino are  
well  
juleka has a girlfriend too

 **chloé:  
** i dont remember names

 **marinara:  
**...what should I even call them then

 **chloé:  
** idk  
nerd one and two

 **marinara:  
** I'm not doing that

 **chloé:  
** ur not very supportive

 **marinara:  
** I remember who you are  
I'd say that's pretty supportive

 **chloé:  
** as if ud forget me  
bitch

 **marinara:  
** I wish I could

 **chloé:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** how about  
a trade

 **chloé:  
** what do u want

 **marinara:  
** you're with adrien  
right

 **chloé:  
** ya

 **marinara:  
** take a pic of him  
and I'll be a good friend

 **chloé:  
** easy  
 _(image: adrien lounging across a sofa)  
_ now when are u free

 **marinara:  
** wait  
that's not what I agreed to

 **chloé:  
** its being a good friend  
so yes  
u did

 **marinara:  
** …  
this is for the double-date  
isn't it

 **chloé:  
** ya  
i need a friend  
and ur a supportive one  
arent u

 **marinara:  
** get a new friend

 **chloé:  
** i did  
its u  
congrats

 **marinara:  
** fine  
I'm already busy saturday  
but if it's during the day I can do sunday  
I think  
is that acceptable to you  
your highness?

 **chloé:  
** itll do

 **marinara:  
** great  
make it brunch  
at least  
drinking at breakfast is just sad

 **chloé:  
** im trying to make ur life not sad

 **marinara:  
** exactly  
brunch or after  
let's go

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** you actually accepted?

 **marinara:  
** what  
the date?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
what are you even  
thinking?

 **marinara:  
** you told me she wouldn't stop asking?  
what was I supposed to do  
besides  
I can always just kick her under the table  
it's fine

 **adrikins:  
** oh my god?  
what have you done

 **marinara:  
** be a supportive friend  
apparently

 **adrikins:  
** that's the worst?

 **marinara:  
** she's your friend?  
I dunno  
I think she's actually trying to be nice  
in her weird way  
like usual

 **adrikins:  
** she's trying to get you laid?

 **marinara:  
** everyone wants that for me  
apart from juleka  
but that's just because it's her brother I'm trying to bang

 **adrikins:  
** no you're not?

 **marinara:  
** platonically

 **adrikins:  
** please don't platonically bang anyone?

 **marinara:  
** wow, adrien  
way to be a supportive friend

 **adrikins:  
** the only acceptable bangs  
are finger bangs

 **marinara:  
** idk  
that could be taken two ways

 **adrikins:  
** the platonic kind!

 **marinara:  
** the less fun way  
got it

 **adrikins:  
** what happened to not being interested in anyone?

 **marinara:  
** times change  
kidding  
I'm not going to fall in love  
or bed  
with whoever chloé wants me to meet

 **adrikins:  
** she doesn't know anyone good!

 **marinara:  
** I can tell that from knowing you.  
I'm joking  
please don't hurt me  
it was a bad joke

 **adrikins:  
** i'm hurt  
you won't even platonically bang me and now this?

 **marinara:  
** excuse you  
you never asked

 **adrikins:  
** you only mentioned luka!

 **marinara:  
** it extends to you?  
all my friends  
but not all at once  
I'm not into that  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** i still  
don't understand why you agreed to go with her

 **marinara:  
** she wants backup  
I'm being a wingman  
that's a thing, right?

 **adrikins:  
** she's  
trying to do that for you?

 **marinara:  
** eh  
we'll see

 **adrikins:  
** she is!  
she's been gloating that she knows a guy  
you'll really like

 **marinara:  
** stop talking about me then  
it makes my ears hot

 **adrikins:  
** all of you is hot

 **marinara:  
** only because you're talking about me so much  
it's getting a bit intense  
please stop

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** I'll be tired from staying up with you anyway  
not like I can give this mystery guy much attention  
besides  
you know how awkward I am?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm going to tire you out?

 **marinara:  
** well  
yeah?  
we're all going back to nino's, aren't we?  
unless you're planning to ditch now

 **adrikins:  
** right  
right right  
yes, we are!  
you're still sharing a blanket with me, right?

 **marinara:  
** I really don't think we need to plan the blanket sharing

 **adrikins:  
** we do  
or alya will weasel her way in with you!

 **marinara:  
** you better get there first then

 **adrikins:  
** i'm trying!  
but you're going on a date  
and ditching me instead

 **marinara:  
** I'm being a supportive friend!

 **adrikins:  
** i knew you first!

 **marinara:  
** you knew chloé first  
why isn't she inviting you instead?

 **adrikins:  
** because i didn't turn up to the last one  
this is payback  
she knows i like spending time with you  
now she's stealing you!

 **marinara:  
** there, there  
I'll come back to you in one piece  
I promise

 **adrikins:  
** idk  
what if you get kidnapped

 **marinara:  
** with chloé there?

 **adrikins:  
** she'll be too busy  
staring at herself in her spoon

 **marinara:  
** sounds about right  
fine, what if I promise to text you?

 **adrikins:  
** throughout?

 **marinara:  
** sure  
I text you daily anyway  
I can do that  
easy

 **adrikins:  
** okay!

 **marinara:  
** it won't be that bad  
but thanks for caring

 **adrikins:  
** that's what you think?

 **marinara:  
** your faith in chloé  
is amazing

 **adrikins:  
** for a good reason!

-x-

 **group chat: milknet otp  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** what up  
losers

 **leks:  
** chloe had a tantrum

 **marinara:  
** not what I expected  
but okay  
I'll bite  
why?

 **Thani:  
** She's not invited to our dinner.

 **ninny:  
** rude

 **adrikins:  
** she's busy!  
i did invite her  
even though she doesn't have a nickname  
which really means that she hasn't been accepted?

 **Alyarr:  
** she's your friend  
you could've just dragged her along?

 **adrikins:  
** why would i do that?

 **marinara:  
** because you love and care about her

 **adrikins:  
** do i tho

 **Thani:  
** You said she's like a sister.

 **adrikins:  
** that's not an answer

 **Alyarr:  
** fair

 **marinara:  
** what's she doing tomorrow instead?

 **adrikins:  
** has a dinner with her dad!  
not really skippable  
very unlucky timing

 **marinara:  
** you don't sound sorry at all

 **adrikins:  
** she's a snake!

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm really feeling the love between you two  
the best of friends

 **adrikins:  
** what  
i love mari?

 **Alyarr:  
** I meant  
between you and chloe

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
yes!

 **Thani:  
** I'm making this clear right now.  
I will fight all of you for Nino's spare bed.

 **Alyarr:  
** he's already said it's yours  
calm down buddy

 **Thani:  
** I'm not sleeping on the floor.

 **marinara:  
** we're not having a sleepover

 **adrikins:  
** we're not?

 **marinara:  
** no  
we're not?

 **Alyarr:  
** I do actually want to have sex with nino  
please don't stay over  
thanks

 **Thani:  
** But I'll be there.

 **Alyarr:  
** and you sleep like the dead  
what's your point here

 **Thani:  
**...I hope that's a joke.

 **Alyarr:  
** xo

 **adrikins:  
** i'm scared

 **marinara:  
** it's okay, adrien  
you were going to find out about it someday  
I'm sorry it had to be today

 **adrikins:  
** what?

 **marinara:  
** about the birds and the bees

 **adrikins:  
** but  
you wouldn't have sex with me earlier?

 **marinara:  
** platonically!  
stop bringing this up  
you'll give them terrible ideas

 **Alyarr:  
** I thought you were gonna seduce juleka's brother

 **marinara:  
** it's a work in progress

 **Thani:  
** And how's the progress on you being a good person?

 **marinara:  
** idk  
we might get there one day  
I think I'm still hysterical from trying to date myself

 **adrikins:  
** mari **  
**what do you mean try?  
you had us convinced?  
i was so jealous

 **Alyarr:  
** mari  
you get around a lot

 **marinara:  
** but no one wants to mari me

 **adrikins:  
** i just did?

 **marinara:  
** it was a pun  
come on, you love puns

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
oh!  
i'd gladly marry you  
platonically

 **marinara:  
** you just want to platonically bang  
I'm sorry I didn't ask you before  
but please get over it

 **adrikins:  
** i will not  
it's my dream

 **Thani:  
** I'm not even going to question this, honestly.  
It's pretty tame for you two.  
Can you just promise not to have platonic sex on my bed for the weekend?

 **marinara:  
** do you wanna join us

 **Thani:  
** No.  
You just want the bed.

 **marinara:  
** idk, nath  
I might want to kiss your ginger head

 **Thani:  
** You'll never reach up there.  
Besides, you're already sharing a blanket with someone else.

 **marinara:  
** adrien would absolutely love to snuggle with you

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm sorry  
did you just say you're snuggling

 **marinara:  
** what of it

 **adrikins:  
** it's november?

 **Alyarr:  
** nino has heating?

 **marinara:  
** and I want to be comfortable  
if that's in adrien's arms  
you don't get to judge me

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!

 **marinara:  
** nath  
if you get cold  
you can hug juleka

 **Thani:  
** She'll eat me alive.

 **marinara:  
** she's not as aggressive irl  
you'll be fine

 **Thani:  
** She terrifies me.

 **marinara:  
** same

 **Alyarr:  
** isn't that a good thing  
she's so powerful

 **marinara:  
** you're going to be amazed  
at how  
not scary she is

 **Thani:  
** I'm more scared of Juleka than I am of your fans.

 **marinara:  
** but you're all my fans  
my minions

 **adrikins:  
** i'd gladly be your minion!

 **marinara:**  
tuck me in with the blanket, minion

 **adrikins:  
** yes, sir!

 **Alyarr:  
** this roleplay  
is not what I want to read right now

 **marinara:  
** sorry?  
would you prefer something dirtier?

 **Thani:  
** We really don't want to know about your kinky roleplay, Mari.  
Especially not with Adrien.

 **adrikins:  
** but what's wrong with me?

 **Alyarr:  
** she probably has your nip pic saved  
that's what

 **Thani:  
** It makes it far too real.

 **adrikins:  
** am i ever going to live that down?

 **Thani:  
** No, you're not.

 **Alyarr:  
** just like when nath saw nino shirtless  
it'll haunt us all  
and be in our minds

 **marinara:  
** nino and adrien shirtless are two very different things

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah  
because adrien's white enough to blind us all

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sorry?

 **Thani:  
** You'll never be forgiven.

 **adrikins:  
** but  
aren't you like as pale as me?

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm sure we'll find out tomorrow  
but for now  
I really want to know if mari has that pic saved

 **marinara:  
** what  
of course I do  
do you want it

 **adrikins:  
** delete it!

 **marinara:  
** no way  
that's prime blackmail material

 **Thani:  
** Mmm.

 **Alyarr:  
** why  
you're diabolical mari  
a true genius

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
I saved all the pics everyone else sent too  
all in one folder

 **Alyarr:  
** not even named ones?  
for shame

 **Thani:  
** The actual folder's probably just named an insult.

 **marinara:  
** it's in a loving way  
I swear

 **adrikins:  
** if you love me  
can you please delete my nipples?

 **marinara:  
** no way

 **adrikins:  
** but it's so embarrassing?  
and there's no way for us to be even

 **Alyarr:  
** are  
you asking to see our nipples

 **adrikins:  
** i  
what  
no?  
that's not what i meant!

 **Thani:  
** I'm sure some wouldn't mind, but I'd rather not, thank you.  
If it helps, I can barely remember it.

 **adrikins:  
** i'm going to cry

 **marinara:  
** I can show you some bad pictures of me?

 **Alyarr:  
** "bad"  
a new way to say nudes  
am I right

 **marinara:  
** fk off

 **adrikins:  
** really?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, sure?  
not here  
these two don't deserve to see them

 **Alyarr:  
** I resent that  
show us your nipples

 **marinara:  
** I wouldn't platonically bang either of you  
so no

 **Thani:  
** So, only Adrien, huh?  
Smooth.

 **marinara:  
** anything for a pal

 **adrikins:  
** i'll trade you  
bad pics of chloe?

 **marinara:  
** …  
heck yes  
I need those

 **adrikins:  
** great!  
they're on my phone  
she said she'd punch me if i ever posted them!

 **marinara:  
** great  
give me them so I can whip them out  
when the date goes terribly and I need a distraction

 **Alyarr:  
** what do you mean when

 **marinara:  
** I'm optimistic

 **adrikins:  
** i'll gladly help!

 **Thani:  
** A true friend.  
There to help you ruin the date.

 **marinara:  
** my kinda guy

 **Alyarr:  
** you two get on far too well

 **marinara:  
** it's okay, alya  
you'll get to share a blanket with me  
someday  
just not tomorrow

 **Alyarr:  
** can I yawn and wrap an arm around you  
and cop a feel  
at least

 **marinara:  
** anything for you, babe

 **Alyarr:  
** I love you again

 **adrikins:  
** does that mean i get to do that too

 **Thani:  
** Why don't you find out?


	19. 19

**AN:** I'm just going to put recaps at the start now. Chloé visited Mari at work, Nath drew Milknet fanart, Marinette agreed to go on a double-date with Chloé in exchange for a picture of Adrien, and Mari admitted she saved Adrien's nipple picture. Also shoutout to _AuroraLynne_ for noticing Chloé and Nath text like they did in my _Jeux D'esprit_ series.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: milknet otp  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** here's the message I got home okay

 **Alyarr:  
** it's  
the day after

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
I'm okay

 **ninny:  
** youre not supposed to say the day after?  
what if we thought you were dead  
dont interrupt the mourning process

 **marinara:  
** no mourning in the morning

 **adrikins:  
** good morning!  
it's a terrible day  
please kill me

 **Thani:  
** You didn't even drink.

 **adrikins:  
** i'm smart?  
not like anyone got drunk anyway

 **marinara:  
** I have to be thinking properly  
to deal with you idiots

 **ninny:  
** that hurts  
and after i gave you my nicest blanket

 **marinara:  
** you literally gave us your duvet

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah  
and then we naked time on it after you left  
so that's like  
an indirect hug right

 **marinara:  
** that's  
not a thing

 **Alyarr:  
** sure it is  
like an indirect kiss  
but more platonic you know?

 **Thani:  
** I'm almost convinced that you two are grosser than Mari and Juleka together.

 **marinara:  
** excuse you?  
what is that supposed to mean

 **adrikins:  
** i agree!  
juleka kept stealing you

 **marinara:  
** it's not stealing if I went willingly  
she's better than all of you

 **ninny:  
** friend  
zoned

 **marinara:  
** yes  
because this is a zone of friends  
fitting

 **Alyarr:  
** love us as much as juleka  
please  
we deserve it

 **marinara:  
** idk  
none of you knew me before breasts

 **Alyarr:  
** you have breasts?

 **ninny:  
** i second that

 **adrikins:  
** why are you looking?  
don't do that!

 **marinara:  
** how old are you two

 **Alyarr:  
** older than you  
baby

 **marinara:  
** I shuddered  
please don't call me that

 **Alyarr:  
** why not  
it's correct?

 **ninny:  
** correct and kinky  
my kinda thing

 **marinara:  
** your kinda thing is supposed to be alya  
this friendzone is feeling less and less  
friendly

 **Alyarr:  
** we're not grooming you  
don't worry

 **adrikins:  
** all i want  
is to have half the hugs juleka has?  
is that too much to ask

 **marinara:  
** you've gotta earn them  
you're almost there

 **adrikins:  
** what more must i do?

 **marinara:  
** mm  
I'll get back to you on that  
gotta get ready for my date now

 **ninny:  
** oh  
yeah thats a thing

 **Alyarr:  
** a thing a thing  
sadly  
chloe's told me it's not gonna be just the two of them  
that would've been fun

 **ninny:  
** wtf  
when did she tell you that

 **Alyarr:  
** when I was looking at my phone  
when else

 **ninny:  
**?

 **Alyarr:  
** we're pals

 **Thani:  
** Does that mean she remembers your name now?

 **Alyarr:  
** well  
she keeps getting it wrong  
but it's definitely on purpose  
no one can be that stupid

 **adrikins:  
** idk  
it might be possible with her?

 **marinara:  
** rude  
that's your friend you're talking about

 **adrikins:  
** exactly?  
i've seen her from fetus to thot

 **ninny:  
** ksdgldfhf

 **adrikins:  
** she's a dumbass?  
but she's my dumbass

 **marinara:  
** maybe you should be going on this date?

 **adrikins:  
** i want to!  
but she doesn't want me there

 **Alyarr:  
** wait  
did you two ever try and date  
was that a thing

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
no  
did you?

 **adrikins:  
** we  
did not platonically bang!  
it's okay, mari!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
what a relief  
everyone else would pale in comparison to her

 **adrikins:  
** that's what she told me  
for many years

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm getting the feeling  
her self-esteem is very high

 **adrikins:  
** what gave it away?  
no dating but  
she was convinced she was in love with me  
which was awkward for a bit?

 **marinara:  
** sagjklasg really?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
idk it was just  
so weird because she's my friend?  
i couldn't imagine it at all  
not when we're that close

 **Thani:  
** You and Mari and bond over this, clearly.

 **ninny:  
** you should salty

 **Thani:  
** I doubt Adrien told Chloé that she didn't have a soul.

 **adrikins:  
** no  
i did

 **ninny:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** have you met her?  
soulless

 **marinara:  
** true  
but I really have to go get pimped out  
this is revenge for your friend-zoning, clearly

 **adrikins:  
** nooo!  
i'm sorry this happened to you because of me  
i'm the worst

 **marinara:  
** I'll think about forgiving you  
see ya, losers

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** I finished Nino's present for Adrien.

 **marinara:**

I swear  
if it's nsfw of me and him  
I'm going to kill myself

 **Thani:  
** I'd never draw you and Nino so intimately, Mari.  
What do you take me for?

 **marinara:  
** shameless  
and someone that just wants money

 **Thani:  
** I have needs and he has money.

 **marinara:  
** and I have your address

 **Thani:  
** No, you don't.

 **marinara:  
** true  
but I've got alya's number now  
I'm sure she'll give me it

 **Thani:  
** You mean, you'll just ask for hers and come to haunt me.

 **marinara:  
** pretty much

 **Thani:  
** I've almost finished yours, too.

 **marinara:  
** do you have space for more commissions

 **Thani:  
** Maybe one, but you'll be put at the back.  
You okay with waiting?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, that's fine  
I just want more emotes

 **Thani:  
** Greedy.

 **marinara:  
** what can I say  
gotta match luka for everything

 **Thani:  
** Does that mean you'll be asking for matching icons next?

 **marinara:  
** that's  
not a bad idea, actually  
I'll get back to you on that

 **Thani:  
**...I was kidding.

 **marinara:  
** too late  
we're gonna be couple goals

 **Thani:  
** You're not even a couple.

 **marinara:  
** but we are a couple of idiots  
doesn't that count

-x-

 **group chat: milknet otp  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **leks:  
** u

 **marinara:  
** me

 **Alyarr:  
** yeeees

 **marinara:  
** no

 **Alyarr:  
** tell me more  
you can't just ignore my texts like that

 **marinara:  
** I can and did

 **leks:  
** i like chloe

 **marinara:  
** you're taken  
and you obviously don't enough to put the accent

 **Alyarr:  
** nath's the only one that adds that now  
sorry

 **leks:  
** i like chloe platonically

 **marinara:  
** no, you just like me suffering  
and that's literally what happened

 **leks:  
** can u pls tell alya  
i didn't want to spoil it

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** why

 **marinara:  
** because you laughed at me

 **leks:  
** ye  
but when don't i

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

 **Alyarr:  
** please give me half the affection you show juleka

 **marinara:  
** you can fuck off too

 **leks:  
** boring  
it was a threesome

 **marinara:  
** I did not have a threesome  
thank you

 **leks:  
** pussy

 **marinara:  
** you're the worst

 **Alyarr:  
** so what  
it was you chloe and some dude?

 **leks:  
** if by some dude  
u mean adrien  
ye

 **marinara:  
** I will not stand  
for this bullying

 **leks:  
** sit

 **marinara:  
** no!

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** have they stopped the teasing yet

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
chloe's here now and she's loving it  
i'm sorry!

 **marinara:  
** I'm going to fake my death  
in a tragic accident  
do you want to join me

 **adrikins:  
** i'd do anything with you

 **marinara:  
** suicide pact  
let's go

 **adrikins:  
** a fake suicide pact  
that's the important part!

 **marinara:  
** details

 **adrikins:  
** sfgdh  
please don't kill us  
i want to spend more time with you first

 **marinara:  
** are you asking for a second date here?  
was it really that good

 **adrikins:  
** it was great!  
i really liked the part where  
chloe just sat with us the whole time

 **marinara:  
** how dare you  
she was with her own date

 **adrikins:  
** her date was a drink?

 **marinara:  
** details?

 **adrikins:  
** sdlgjkdfhfdh  
i'm so sorry about her  
that was embarrassing?

 **marinara:  
** it's embarrassing that you  
really thought you had to come pick me up

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sorry for trusting her?  
i thought you really did have a nosebleed

 **marinara:  
** sadly, I did not  
but thanks for staying anyway  
good lunch date

 **adrikins:  
** are lunch dates all i'll get with you?  
you're busy most nights

 **marinara:  
** sorry, sorry  
but I can take a day off if you ever want to do anything?  
just need a bit of warning  
gotta keep it consistent

 **adrikins:  
** can i pick you up from work again?  
that worked well last time  
right?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, that was great  
got dinner out of the way and I could spend time with you  
but like  
don't you have class and stuff

 **adrikins:  
** i won't skip it or anything!  
but i do want to spend more time with you  
preferably  
when chloe's not there?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, of course!

 **adrikins:  
** fuck chloe!

 **marinara:  
** no thanks  
you were the third wheel on my date with her  
it was dreadful

 **adrikins:  
** but  
doesn't that make me the guy she said about?

 **marinara:  
** are you trying to say  
she was complimenting you

 **adrikins:  
** you're  
right  
that's impossible?

 **marinara:  
** I think she was just fucking with us

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sad now  
but at least i got to spend two days with you!  
a whole weekend

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
we could do it again?

 **adrikins:  
** are you asking for a second date?

 **marinara:  
** it wasn't even a first  
don't be ridiculous

 **adrikins:  
** a guy can dream?

 **marinara:  
** why are you dreaming about me  
adrien

 **adrikins:  
** because i think you're  
pretty dreamy?

 **marinara:  
** that  
was awful

 **adrikins:  
** awfully true!

 **marinara:  
** the actual worst

 **adrikins:  
** does that mean you're uninviting me

 **marinara:  
** yes  
wait no  
I want to give you your present in person

 **adrikins:  
** you're giving me a present?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, of course?  
birthday boy needs a present

 **adrikins:  
** but  
i didn't get you anything

 **marinara:  
** you said happy birthday to my alter ego  
my girlfriend at the time

 **adrikins:  
** can you please  
not refer to yourself like that?  
it scares me

 **marinara:  
** my ex-girlfriend  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** it's so weird?

 **marinara:  
** I can't help it  
we broke up because you loved her more than me  
I couldn't handle it any more

 **adrikins:  
** noo!  
i love the marinette you more!

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
you hate me at night?

 **adrikins:  
** don't twist!  
i like my friend  
not the one i have to watch to be able to see?

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
ladybug's your friend too

 **adrikins:  
** third person?

 **marinara:  
** we're tagged in pictures together and everything  
that's friendship

 **adrikins:  
** thank you for friendshipping me  
with you

 **marinara:  
** you're welcome  
it just cost you your dignity

 **adrikins:  
** did i ever have that?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, no  
you're right about that  
good job

 **adrikins:  
** i regret liking this version of you

 **marinara:  
** fucking rude

 **adrikins:  
** stop talking in third person  
and i'll like you even more!

 **marinara:  
** are you threatening me

 **adrikins:  
** absolutely!

 **marinara:  
** consider me  
warned

 **adrikins:  
** good.

-x-

 **group chat: milknet is dead  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** nino

 **ninny:  
** is not here  
can i take a msg

 **Alyarr:  
** there was no beep  
you gotta pretend to beep first

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
going to come into your work

 **ninny:  
** sounds like a date

 **marinara:  
** I  
cannot believe you?

 **adrikins:  
** why is he the first to meet your mom?

 **Alyarr:  
** he's not though?  
hasn't chloe met them

 **adrikins:  
** chloe is dead to me?

 **Alyarr:  
** right  
forgot about that

 **marinara:  
** don't change the fucking subject  
you can't just  
introduce yourself as the best thing to happen to me  
oh my god?

 **Alyarr:  
** does she think you're dating  
please tell me that's a thing

 **ninny:  
** is it a lie tho  
look at all this  
it all happened because of me  
worship me

 **marinara:  
** I hate you  
so much?  
my mom wants you to come over to dinner  
because she thinks we're dating now

 **ninny:  
** why would she think that

 **Alyarr:  
** because  
you're the best thing?

 **ninny:  
** but i said no when she asked

 **marinara:  
** you weren't very convincing  
apparently  
now my parents are asking why I haven't mentioned you?

 **adrikins:  
** this is abuse  
you won't even let me meet them!

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
it's not my fault you just  
lurk outside and wait for me  
you could just come in and talk to me?

 **adrikins:  
** no, you're working?

 **marinara:  
** dlgdh  
forget it

 **Alyarr:  
** can I come to the dinner too

 **marinara:  
** no?

 **Alyarr:  
** fucking rude  
trying to get nino all alone?

 **marinara:  
** you can keep him?  
now my parents just  
ask about that nice girl chloe  
and my handsome boyfriend  
fucking murder me

 **adrikins:  
** can i have a nickname

 **marinara:**  
that nice girl's friend  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** wait  
for real?

 **marinara:  
** yeah?  
they've seen me leave with you  
what did you expect

 **adrikins:  
** i  
don't know  
but chloe's not a nice girl

 **ninny:  
** fucking rude  
chloe is a saint

 **adrikins:  
** how much did she pay you to say that?

 **ninny:  
** not enough  
my soul will never be the same

 **Alyarr:  
** babe  
I don't think you have one

 **ninny:  
** oh  
that makes sense

 **marinara:  
** rip

 **adrikins:  
** i still love you, nino

 **ninny:  
** thanks, man  
it means a lot

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** wasn't I supposed to be the slut  
why is nino the one getting around now

 **Alyarr:  
** he's a slippery boy

 **marinara:  
** please  
never say that again

 **Alyarr:  
** what  
it's a good thing sometimes

 **marinara:  
** I don't want to know about your bedroom time  
or what you did in that duvet

 **Alyarr:  
** we did all the things you won't let me have with you

 **marinara:  
** are you hitting on me  
and bragging at the same time

 **Alyarr:  
** I thought you wanted to get some

 **marinara:  
** I rethought my life  
figured out that I shouldn't do that

 **Alyarr:  
** was that before or after  
your date turned out to be adrien

 **adrikins:  
** it wasn't a date!

 **marinara:  
** is it really a date when chloé was with us  
staring

 **ninny:  
** yeah, totally  
free entertainment

 **marinara:  
** go away

 **ninny:  
** no

 **adrikins:  
** it was just lunch!

 **Alyarr:  
** wasn't it supposed to be brunch

 **marinara:  
** idk  
everything's breakfast to me  
until it's dark

 **ninny:  
** that means any time you drink in the day  
you think its sad

 **marinara:  
** I'm a sad person  
literally

 **adrikins:  
** i'll try and cheer you up!

 **Alyarr:  
** and now that sounds like a date  
was this what it was like whenever I spoke to nino

 **marinara:  
** what do you mean was  
you're still gross together

 **ninny:  
** thanks  
youre a babe, mari

 **marinara:  
** ew

 **Alyarr:  
** hey!  
that's you admitting you're gross with adrien

 **marinara:  
** of course I am  
we're besties

 **adrikins:  
** the bestest!  
i know you're jealous  
but you can't break us apart

 **ninny:  
** i mean  
juleka can break you apart in moments  
sry

 **marinara:  
** that doesn't count  
juleka is like my pet  
she has to be number one  
forever

 **adrikins:  
** isn't that a kid?

 **marinara:  
** no, a pet.

 **Alyarr:  
** that was a description of a kid and a pet

 **marinara:  
** I'm not into pet play  
oh my god no  
don't you dare start this

 **ninny:  
** we didnt say anything  
youre the one that jumped to that?  
got something to tell us?

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah mari  
what's wrong with you

 **marinara:  
** …  
I like juleka to most

 **adrikins:  
** someday  
i'll duel her for the number one spot

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** in your heart!

 **marinara:  
** but you've already got a spot there?  
be satisfied with that

 **ninny:  
** thirsty

 **marinara:  
** you're dead to me

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not asking for much!

 **marinara:  
** you're asking me to ignore  
the love of my life

 **Alyarr:  
** you've never called juleka that in your life

 **marinara:  
** how dare you?  
our love is pure and shouldn't be mocked

 **ninny:  
** she has a girlfriend

 **marinara:  
** rose understands  
she gets me

 **adrikins:  
** you have weird friends

 **marinara:  
** explains why you're all my friends  
right

 **Alyarr:  
** is that the benefit of us  
we're weird?

 **marinara:  
** yes  
but I've stopped trying to fuck everyone  
I'm back to being innocent

 **adrikins:  
** good!  
you're supposed to be the baby here

 **marinara:  
** no roleplay here  
whatsoever

 **ninny:  
** disgusting

 **marinara:  
** exactly

 **Alyarr:  
** I don't know  
I'd roleplay with you

 **marinara:  
** and that's why I don't want it

 **Alyarr:  
** but you wanted me as your mother before?

 **marinara:  
** you've got no proof  
it never happened

 **ninny:  
** no playing house, alya  
thats banned

 **adrikins:  
** you're both too young for children!  
let mari be free and parentless!

 **ninny:  
** thats  
because you dont want to ask us for permission

 **marinara:  
** please don't ask any of my parents anything  
fake or real  
please do not talk to them  
I do not need this harassment

 **ninny:  
** i must establish my role as your father

 **marinara:  
** you  
do not

 **Alyarr:  
** excellent  
assure them that I'm a good mother too  
please

 **ninny:  
** i shall  
dont worry, babe  
itll be fine

 **adrikins:  
** i can see why chloe's the nice girl  
compared to you, nino

 **marinara:  
** nino's just  
my boyfriend  
not even a nice boyfriend

 **ninny:  
** what  
doesnt that sound  
bad compared to nice girl

 **Alyarr:  
** greet them properly  
at the dinner you're going to

 **marinara:  
** there is no dinner

 **ninny:  
** thats rude, mari  
they invited me and everything

 **marinara:  
** but not to your face  
therefore  
it's never happening

 **adrikins:  
** you can have dinner with me instead!

 **ninny:  
** sweet  
lets do that

 **adrikins:  
** but only if chloe can come  
she wants to meet you

 **marinara:  
** that'll be fun for you  
enjoy, nino

 **ninny:  
** youre coming too  
if im suffering  
then so are you

 **adrikins:  
** how dare you calling it suffering?

 **Alyarr:  
** adrien  
babe  
my boy  
watching you and mari together is suffering

 **marinara:  
** excuse you?  
that's offensive

 **ninny:  
** good  
youre offensive to my eyes

 **marinara:  
** we're  
nothing like you and alya  
you two are gross now  
but before you started dating?  
the grossest

 **ninny:  
** my dream is to be the grossest  
with you forever, babe

 **Alyarr:  
** true love

 **adrikins:  
** hope you say that at your wedding!

 **ninny:  
** only if mari will be my best man  
and just glare at us the whole time

 **marinara:  
** I'll be glaring at you two any time we meet

 **Alyarr:  
** you can just say that you want me to hug you  
it's ok mari  
you can admit it

 **marinara:  
** no.

 **ninny:  
** pussy

 **marinara:  
** stop your girlfriend from hitting on me

 **ninny:  
** no  
you deserve it

 **Alyarr:  
** xo


	20. 20

**AN:** Previously: the group, minus Chloé, met up for dinner before going back to Nino's, Nath finished Mari's commission, Mari's double-date turned out to be with Chloé and Adrien only, and Mari's mother believes Nino is her daughter's boyfriend.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
my god?  
i'm messaging you here so you don't  
actually reply on stream but  
thank you so much?  
i really wasn't expecting a shoutout like that!  
i feel so special  
absolutely my favourite streamer!  
it's even better that i know so much about you  
not in like  
a creepy way?  
wait is it creepy  
we're friends  
i should know things!  
nevermind  
this birthday boy is going to bed!  
you're so sweet!

-x-

 **group chat: birth birth birth  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** birth!

 **Alyarr:  
** birth!

 **ninny:  
** birth

 **adrikins:  
** birth!

 **chloesterol:  
** u survived until now

 **marinara:  
** until

 **adrikins:  
** i mean  
she's not wrong?  
in her own threatening way

 **ninny:  
** good job not being murdered by chloe  
youre no longer a fetus

 **adrikins:  
** non-fetus is twenty-one?

 **marinara:  
** fuck off  
that'll mean everyone here is  
right

 **ninny:  
** idk  
i take it back  
i didnt think that through

 **Alyarr:  
** babe  
do you ever think anything through

 **ninny:  
** rude?  
i thought about our future  
but im not so sure any more

 **adrikins:  
** you can't breakup on my birthday?

 **ninny:  
** son  
im sorry  
im eloping with mari

 **chloesterol:  
** how about  
no

 **adrikins:  
** what she said!

 **Alyarr:  
** maybe I want to be the one to elope with mari?  
she respects me  
and responds to my texts

 **marinara:  
** you haven't texted me

 **Alyarr:  
** see  
she remembers our conversations  
unlike someone  
leaving me on read this morning

 **ninny:  
** i was busy

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm busy for the foreseeable future  
with mari

 **adrikins:  
** can this  
pls not be my present

 **ninny:  
** idk, man  
i was gonna come give you your actual present  
but this seems good enough

 **Alyarr:  
** stealing mari away from you  
is the greatest present of all

 **marinara:  
** isn't  
that an insult

 **chloesterol:  
** ur all weirdos  
can u stop thinking about threesomes  
for like one minute  
and listen to me

 **marinara:  
** you haven't said anything?

 **chloesterol:  
** i was waiting for the attention  
that i deserve

 **ninny:  
** i mean  
do you

 **chloesterol:  
** shut up  
ur ugly

 **Alyarr:  
** algjkshdh  
suck burn

 **marinara:  
** suck

 **ninny:  
** suck

 **Alyarr:  
** wtf  
don't turn on me like this

 **chloesterol:  
** ya  
losers  
are u gonna listen or what

 **adrikins:  
** what do you want from us

 **chloesterol:  
** u to leave  
so i dont have to create a new chat  
or type the same message  
multiple fucking times

 **adrikins:  
** is this about my party

 **chloesterol:  
** who says ur getting a party  
spoiled fuck

 **adrikins:  
** um  
you always try and give me one?

 **chloesterol:  
** so

 **adrikins:  
** so

 **chloesterol:  
** can u fuck off  
adrien  
pls

 **adrikins:  
** ask nicely  
and i'll think about it

 **ninny:  
** do you want me to kick him  
master chloe

 **chloesterol:  
** ye  
do that

 **adrikins:  
** you backstabber?  
it's my birthday!

 **marinara:  
** go celebrate by yourself

 **adrikins:  
** fine!

 **adrikins has left the chat**

 **Alyarr:  
** didn't we already sort everything out

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
he doesn't know that

 **chloesterol:  
** he pretends he hates it  
but he loves my parties rly

 **ninny:  
** honestly read that as panties  
and got really concerned

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm concerned for you

 **chloesterol:  
** ur not the first to think about them

 **marinara:  
** and  
that's as much bonding as I can take  
peace out

 **chloesterol:  
** weak

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** I take it he liked his present.

 **marinara:  
** he was fucking horrified, nath  
it was glorious  
thank you for enabling me

 **Thani:  
** I mean, if anything you're the one enabling me.  
To draw Nino shirtless.

 **marinara:  
** a sight you've studied before  
ruthlessly

 **Thani:  
** Was that really the right word to use?  
I can understand why he has to wear glasses now.

 **marinara:  
** sassy  
 _(image: adrien holding a canvas with shirtless nino picture on it)_

 **Thani:  
** That's a good face.

 **marinara:  
** I think so

 **Thani:  
** I meant the expression.  
Stop being thirsty.

 **marinara:  
**?  
don't bully me like this?

 **Thani:  
** Stop being so obvious, then.

 **marinara:  
** it's platonic lust

 **Thani:  
** Yeah, I'm not an idiot.  
Sorry, Mari.

 **marinara:  
** I can't believe you're calling me out like this

 **Thani:  
** I'm just being honest.  
Everyone can tell that you like him by now, by the way.

 **marinara:  
** but  
he doesn't know that  
so that's what matters  
ok?

 **Thani:  
**...He can't be that oblivious.

 **marinara:  
** idk  
I'm playing dumb until he calls me out on it  
let me thirst in peace

 **Thani:  
** Hey, you're not denying it any more.

 **marinara:  
** listen  
I already had juleka telling me that I'm being a dumb bitch  
it's all over for me when even she knows that

 **Thani:  
** Even she?  
She seems to know you really well.

 **marinara:  
** and that's why I listen to her  
can you like  
not tease me about this in front of him  
please?

 **Thani:  
** I'm not that much of a dick.  
If I do upset you, feel free to say.  
I'll tone it down.

 **marinara:  
** why do I recognise those words  
they seem so familiar to me

 **Thani:  
** Back from when you viciously broke my heart.

 **marinara:  
** excuse you?

 **Thani:  
** I'm trying to stop the same from happening to you, okay.  
I'm a nice and caring person.

 **marinara:  
** who's teasing me

 **Thani:  
** Well, I need to enjoy myself somehow, right?

 **marinara:  
** by making me cry

 **Thani:  
** I couldn't do it in the sexy way, so this will have to do.

 **marinara:  
** sadlgdfhd

 **Thani:**  
Your keysmash has sad in it.  
I'm offended.

 **marinara:  
** and I'm horrified?  
how did this happen to you  
go back to being a nun  
no sex jokes for you

 **Thani:  
** I can't help it, Mari.  
You bring out this side of me.

 **marinara:  
** lock it up?  
go back to being socially awkward

 **Thani:  
** We can't all be Juleka.

 **marinara:  
** hey  
watch it

 **Thani:  
** I understand her in so many ways.

 **marinara:  
** oh no  
you're trying to copy her  
aren't you?

 **Thani:  
** I can only dream to be as cool as her.

 **marinara:  
** I'm concerned about you even more

 **Thani:  
** The paint fumes are getting to my head.  
I'm sorry, Mari.  
This is the end for me.

 **marinara:  
** ok  
bye

 **Thani:  
**...At least pretend to mourn me.

 **marinara:  
** it's not morning

 **Thani:  
** Don't just reply with a terrible pun.  
Don't you even care about me at all?

 **marinara:  
** no.

 **Thani:  
** So cold.

 **marinara:  
** so suffer

 **Thani:  
** I'm dying slowly.

 **marinara:  
** aren't we all?  
I don't feel any pity for you

 **Thani:  
** Why are you so heartless?

 **marinara:  
** because you tease me about adrien?  
karma, bitch

 **Thani:  
** I hope something terrible happens to you.

 **marinara:  
** too late  
I already know you

 **Thani:  
** That was the best thing to ever happen to you.

 **marinara:  
** fucking lies  
that's juleka

 **Thani:  
** Can anyone ever be as important as her to you?  
It's hard to match up to her.

 **marinara:  
** that's the point  
loser

 **Thani:  
** I'll break it to Adrien that he'll be second best forever.

 **marinara:  
** and I'll  
break you

 **Thani:  
** Kinky.

 **marinara:  
** you'll get me screaming in a new  
non-sexual way

 **Thani:  
** What do you mean new?

 **marinara:  
** typo  
pls  
I have never touched myself to you  
I can swear on my life

 **Thani:  
** It's too late.  
I'm using that as a badge of honour.  
You've screamed about me in a sexual way.

 **marinara:  
** I  
hate you

 **Thani:  
** Our love is endless.

-x-

 **group chat: afterbirth is gross  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **leks:  
** yo

 **marinara:  
** don't you  
fucking yo me  
you troll

 **adrikins:  
** so mean to the love of your life!

 **marinara:  
** it's how I show my affection?  
don't judge me, adrien

 **adrikins:  
** that means you don't love me at all?  
that's even worse!

 **marinara:  
** you're unlovable  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** father  
is that you?

 **marinara:  
** asklgjsdghdh  
?

 **leks:  
** this is too deep for me  
can u not  
i'm sensitive

 **adrikins:  
** it was a joke!

 **marinara:  
** it made me have a fucking heart attack

 **leks:  
** doesn't adrien do that to u anyway

 **marinara:  
** what's that  
is that the wind in the chat

 **leks:  
** that  
doesn't work

 **marinara:  
** do you hear that, adrien?  
the weather sure is bad today

 **adrikins:  
** how old are you?

 **marinara:  
** a fetus, apparently

 **adrikins:  
** but  
that means i'm a pedophile?

 **marinara:  
** for  
being my friend?

 **adrikins:  
** the platonic bang  
isn't supposed to end with me in jail

 **leks:  
** that's what the bang is  
the end of ur future

 **adrikins:  
** that's the worst?

 **leks:  
** i don't make the rules  
having sex with mari means  
ur life is ruined

 **marinara:  
** thanks for that lovely compliment  
you're a real pal, juleka

 **leks:  
** it got u to talk to me  
loser

 **marinara:  
** fuck you  
you're dead to me

 **leks:  
** u love me

 **adrikins:**  
what  
did she do

 **marinara:  
** she can't do anything to me  
she's dead

 **leks:  
** i told her mom about nino  
not being her boyfriend

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
his purpose in life is over  
how will he go on now?

 **marinara:  
** okay, drama queen  
calm down there

 **adrikins:  
** my ship has died

 **marinara:  
** that's not the phrase

 **adrikins:  
** it exploded  
violently!

 **marinara:  
** okay

 **leks:  
** i said she has a crush on someone instead

 **marinara:  
** you're dead to me

 **leks:  
** uve said that before  
when will it be true

 **marinara:  
** now

 **leks:  
** stop talking to the dead mari  
ur not in a horror film

 **marinara:  
** I feel like it  
when I see your face

 **leks:  
** mature

 **marinara:  
** you embarrass me

 **leks:  
** u don't have an older sibling  
i have to do my part

 **marinara:  
** ur white

 **leks:  
** i'm doing my part  
fuck off

 **marinara:  
** why

 **adrikins:  
** oh my god no?  
you can't tell her parents about her girlfriend!  
mari, you can't date yourself again!

 **leks:  
** but why not

 **marinara:  
** it was stupid enough telling you guys that  
there's no way my parents will believe that shit  
you're all just idiots

 **adrikins:  
** but  
we're your idiots?

 **marinara:  
** I'm regretting that decision

 **adrikins:  
** ok  
disown the others  
but keep me!

 **marinara:  
** idk  
you all might have to battle royale for my heart

 **leks:  
** no thanks

 **marinara:  
** that's it  
juleka's won  
sorry

 **leks:  
** i don't want it

 **marinara:  
** you don't get a choice  
you ungrateful shit

 **leks:  
** can u not  
i already have someone i love

 **marinara:  
** yeah, and it's me  
what's your point

 **adrikins:  
** you're  
starting to sound like chloe here

 **marinara:  
** I like chloé more than any of you  
because she's not here right now

 **adrikins:  
** that's  
the only reason people like her

 **leks:  
** nvm  
u two are perfect for each other  
both dicks

 **adrikins:  
** is that the wind?

 **leks:  
** …

 **leks has left the chat**

 **marinara:  
** aklsjghdhdh  
I thought you were supposed to be the mature one?

 **adrikins:  
** you've rubbed off on me  
sorry?

 **marinara:  
** man, you wish

 **adrikins:  
** you're right!

 **marinara:  
** but I don't want you to go to jail  
so we can't ever do anything  
I'm sorry, adrien  
we're just not meant to be.

 **adrikins:  
** are  
are you friend-zoning me?

 **marinara:  
** would it help  
if it's best friend

 **adrikins:  
** no?  
my heart is broken  
now I'll really never get to meet your parents

 **marinara:  
** sure you can  
as a friend

 **adrikins:  
** that's terrible!

 **marinara:  
** wtf  
sorry being my friend isn't good enough?  
you spoilt shit  
chloé was right about you

 **adrikins:  
** chloe is never right?  
how dare you

 **marinara:  
** how dare  
you

 **adrikins:  
** no  
how dare u

 **marinara:  
** u?

 **adrikins:  
** u!

 **marinara:  
** why would you do this  
to me  
I can't handle this

 **adrikins:  
** you should've thought about that first  
before becoming a fetus

 **marinara:  
** …  
but I'm twenty

 **adrikins:  
** and i've one-upped you  
literally!

 **marinara:  
** oh, fuck off  
you're terrible

 **adrikins:  
** but  
don't you love me

 **marinara:  
** maybe

 **adrikins:  
** only maybe?

 **marinara:  
** idk  
do you deserve more?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
definitely  
i'm like  
the coolest person you know

 **marinara:  
** no  
that's juleka

 **adrikins:  
** you can't pick her for everything?

 **marinara:  
** um  
fucking watch me?

 **adrikins:  
** do i have to kill her  
to take her place

 **marinara:  
** that would just make me sad  
is that what you want, adrien?  
to make me cry?  
you're just like nath

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** men are all the same  
blah blah  
stereotyping  
I'm so sad

 **adrikins:  
** mari no!  
i promise not to kill juleka

 **marinara:  
** okay, cool  
thanks for that

 **adrikins:  
** but i do have a question

 **marinara:  
** yeah?  
hit me with it

 **adrikins:  
** am i  
first at anything for you?

 **marinara:  
** yeah!  
I mean **  
**you are one of my best friends!

 **adrikins:  
** but so are others!

 **marinara:  
** and others are your best friends too?  
I'm not first at anything!

 **adrikins:  
** hey  
hey  
you don't know that!

 **marinara:  
**?  
yes, I do?  
chloé and nino are like  
your best friends?

 **adrikins:  
** maybe juleka's my number one too

 **marinara:  
** yeah, no  
you barely speak to her outside of here?

 **adrikins:  
** she  
intimidates me

 **marinara:  
** what  
why  
she's so sweet?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah but  
if i accidentally upset her  
or something  
you'll never talk to me again?

 **marinara:  
** wait  
you're not wrong but  
I wouldn't just ignore you?

 **adrikins:  
** see!

 **marinara:  
** if I liked you less  
I wouldn't listen to your side of the story?  
I'd just be pissed off

 **adrikins:  
** does that  
mean you like me?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, dude  
totally

 **adrikins:  
** that  
sounds very sarcastic?  
i'm being serious here

 **marinara:  
** so am I?  
I like you  
a lot  
that should be obvious

 **adrikins:  
** oh!  
that's  
nice

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
nice

 **adrikins:  
** I also like you

 **marinara:  
** …  
that's nice

 **adrikins:  
** alfsgdh  
don't use my own words against me?  
i'm awkward, okay  
i can't help it

 **marinara:  
** you're cute

 **adrikins:  
** don't try and weasel your way out of this  
by being cute

 **marinara:  
** isn't that what you're doing  
right now

 **adrikins:  
** i am not weaselling?  
how dare you **  
**

 **marinara:  
** yeah, you are  
being cute is unfair

 **adrikins:  
** why?  
you're just biased

 **marinara:  
** is that a problem?

 **adrikins:  
** i  
never said that

 **marinara:  
** great  
glad we sorted that out

 **adrikins:  
** good  
me too

 **marinara:  
** nice

 **adrikins:  
** i'm biased about you too

 **marinara:  
** secretly  
I'm not your favourite streamer  
I'm onto you

 **adrikins:  
**!  
no one will ever replace you!

 **marinara:  
** mmm  
I'm watching you  
and your lies

 **adrikins:  
** you're in my heart forever!

 **marinara:  
** nice

 **adrikins:  
** nice

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **leks:  
** ya

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** what do u mean no  
u can't run away from me

 **marinara:  
** watch me

 **leks:  
**?  
ur literally coming over later

 **marinara:  
** yeah, not to see you  
I'll avoid you

 **leks:  
** i'm not letting u in

 **marinara:  
** luka will let me in

 **leks:  
** he'll have headphones on  
so no

 **marinara:  
** your mom loves me

 **leks:  
** no  
she's out

 **marinara:  
**?  
what do you mean no  
she adores me

 **leks:  
** no she's not here  
idk  
she has weird taste

 **marinara:  
** explains why she loves you

 **leks:  
** boohoo  
get over it

 **marinara:  
** okay  
make it quick  
what do you want

 **leks:  
** so

 **marinara:  
** so

 **leks:  
** i've been talking to chloe

 **marinara:  
** that  
is not a good sentence

 **leks:  
** and she agrees with me  
we've come to  
an  
understanding

 **marinara:  
** this is so  
ominous

 **leks:  
** are u ready for this

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** are u sure

 **marinara:  
** …  
fine  
what is it

 **leks:  
** u and adrien

 **marinara:  
**?  
go on

 **leks:  
** are both idiots

 **marinara:  
**?  
is that it

 **leks:  
** ye

 **marinara:  
** wow  
thank you so much  
for that knowledge  
I'm so glad you and chloé are friends  
you can both be geniuses together

 **leks:  
** just like u and adrien

 **marinara:  
** this was a real insightful chat  
thanks

 **leks:  
** i'm here to help

 **marinara:  
** fucking let me in later

 **leks:  
** idk  
might just leave u outside  
until u come to ur senses

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
I will block you

 **leks:  
** technology doesn't limit  
my ability to annoy u

 **marinara:  
** why

 **leks:  
** i know where u live

 **marinara:  
** why.

-x-

 **group chat: afterbirth is gross  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **leks:  
** yo

 **marinara:  
** hello  
is anyone here

 **chloesterol:  
** yeah  
hi mari  
hope ur clean now

 **marinara:  
** no thanks to you

 **chloesterol:  
** ur welcome

 **leks:  
** pls tell me u got it

 **chloesterol:  
** u fucking bet i did  
hang on

 **marinara:  
** …

 **chloesterol:  
** _(image: marinette frowning at milkshake on her shirt)_

 **marinara:  
** why

 **chloesterol:  
** this ones my favourite **  
** _(image: marinette glaring at camera)_

 **marinara:  
** I hate you

 **leks:  
** thanks  
i need these for reasons

 **marinara:  
** you two being friends  
is the worst fucking thing

 **chloesterol:  
** _(image: marinette grimacing while using blender)  
_ what do u mean  
im making a ladybug documentary  
i need to be prepared

 **marinara:  
** no  
you are not

 **chloesterol:  
** u say no now  
but someday  
ull give in to my charm

 **marinara:  
** charm?  
my ass

 **leks:  
** idk  
i think she's pretty great

 **marinara:  
** you're a pathetic lesbian  
stop that

 **leks:  
** make me

 **chloesterol:  
** understandable  
im sorry i have this effect on people  
its a curse

 **marinara:  
** you  
are not even a little bit modest

 **chloesterol:  
** no one has ever called my body modest before  
so no

 **marinara:  
** …

 **chloesterol:  
** ur so innocent

 **marinara:  
** I hate you both

 **leks:  
** but uve been confessing ur love for me  
like  
daily

 **marinara:  
** I've finally come to my senses?  
you two are the worst people

 **chloesterol:  
** _(image: marinette glaring at camera)_

 **marinara:  
** yes  
that's exactly why

 **chloesterol:  
** dont be ridiculous  
no one can ever hate me

 **marinara:  
** are you sure about that

 **chloesterol:  
** my pros outweigh the cons

 **marinara:  
** let me guess  
the pros are your looks

 **chloesterol:  
** aw  
see  
u love me

 **marinara:  
** you love yourself

 **chloesterol:  
** but i also like u  
so i have something for u

 **marinara:**  
I don't want it  
...what is it

 **chloesterol:  
** a peace offering

 **marinara:  
** there is no peace  
when ur here

 **chloesterol:  
** ye thats true  
but still

 **marinara:  
** what is it?

 **chloesterol:  
** idk  
do u deserve it now  
ur a brat

 **marinara:  
** so?  
adrien's a brat and you like him  
don't pretend you even hate me

 **chloesterol:  
** idk  
maybe ill show u  
if u take a pic with me

 **marinara:  
** excuse  
me

 **chloesterol:  
** with u in good clothes

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
leave my wardrobe alone

 **chloesterol:  
** look good with me  
mari

 **marinara:  
** fine  
I'll take a nice picture with you  
that you just want to post

 **chloesterol:  
** great  
glad we got that sorted

 **marinara:  
** there wasn't any chance of me saying no  
was there

 **chloesterol:  
** ur a pussy  
u give in too easily

 **leks:  
** i can second that

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck  
stop teaming up

 **leks:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** this is the worst

 **chloesterol:  
** do u want that peace offering now

 **marinara:  
** will it mend my broken heart?

 **chloesterol:  
** it might make u cry

 **marinara:  
** then no  
the heck

 **chloesterol:  
** not from ur eyes

 **marinara:  
** …  
you're gross

 **chloesterol:  
** _(image: adrien sleeping with plagg beside his head)_

 **marinara:  
** I

 **chloesterol:  
** yes  
go on

 **marinara:  
** I think you're okay

 **chloesterol:  
** _(image: adrien with plagg's paw on his cheek)_

 **marinara:  
**!  
that is so cute!

 **chloesterol:  
** tell me im pretty

 **marinara:  
** no  
adrien's the pretty one right now

 **chloesterol:  
** wtf  
i did that for attention

 **marinara:  
** you did it for a pic with me  
consider me bribed


	21. 21

**AN:** Previously: Adrien turned twenty-one, Mari gave Adrien the Nino drawing at his birthday party, Juleka told Mari's mother that Mari has a crush on someone, and Chloé and Juleka bonded.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** people are very  
very weird, mari  
so weird?

 **marinara:  
** do I even want to know

 **adrikins:  
** i got asked if i know you today?

 **marinara:  
** but  
there's pictures of us online?

 **adrikins:  
** taking pictures  
and knowing you is completely different!

 **marinara:  
** so what  
did you tell them you know  
that I cry in my bedroom  
and think about how big the world is?

 **adrikins:  
** you cry over my beauty  
don't lie!

 **marinara:  
** you caught me

 **adrikins:  
** idk  
i didn't really answer?  
i barely know them  
we just have classes together

 **marinara:  
** keep them guessing  
do you know my deep dirty secrets?  
who knows

 **adrikins:  
** can i be your dirty secret

 **marinara:  
** do you wanna get dirty with me

 **adrikins:  
** yes!

 **marinara:  
** and  
deep

 **adrikins:  
** right into the deep end  
i've got my inflatable armbands on!

 **marinara:  
** are you trying to tell me  
you don't know how to swim

 **adrikins:  
** no  
i meant i have protection

 **marinara:  
** oh  
well  
that's always good

 **adrikins:  
** always be prepared!  
just like you and your umbrella

 **marinara:  
** listen  
leave my umbrella out of this?  
I just leave it in my bag, okay

 **adrikins:  
** so prepared!  
so smart!

 **marinara:  
** that doesn't sound sincere at all

 **adrikins:  
** that's because i know you  
sorry

 **marinara:  
** you know me so you can't  
think I'm smart?

 **adrikins:  
** i know  
many things

 **marinara:  
** I'm not nino  
putting milk in the dishwasher  
instead of the fridge

 **adrikins:  
** mari  
you forget what day it is

 **marinara:  
** leave me alone?

 **adrikins:  
** and you always  
believe your chat when they say your mic is off?

 **marinara:  
** okay  
I'm too trusting

 **adrikins:  
** you should only trust me  
i'll protect you

 **marinara:  
** you?  
sorry, I don't think so

 **adrikins:  
** excuse you?

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
you're a huge wimp?

 **adrikins:  
** that is  
so rude?

 **marinara:  
** but is it wrong

 **adrikins:  
** i could protect you!

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
from what

 **adrikins:  
**...things

 **marinara:  
** don't fucking  
say stds

 **adrikins:  
** my mind was not going there?

 **marinara:  
** for real?  
my bad  
you're clearly innocent again

 **adrikins:  
** i'm more innocent than you

 **marinara:  
** do you wanna fight about it  
punk  
is this a competition?

 **adrikins:  
** no no no  
no no

 **marinara:  
** mmm  
don't forget  
I know your secrets too

 **adrikins:  
** yeah but  
no one goes up to you and asks  
if you know me

 **marinara:  
** maybe they will  
one day

 **adrikins:  
** yeah, right?  
it's always just me getting asked  
about chloe  
and now you  
you!  
how could you do this to me

 **marinara:  
** what  
be your friend publicly?

 **adrikins:  
** yes?  
now people expect things of me

 **marinara:  
** oh, sweetheart  
no one expects anything of you

 **adrikins:  
** the heck!

 **marinara:  
** kidding  
I expect a lot from you  
a lot of stupidity

 **adrikins:  
** dig the dagger in deeper?  
i'm so offended

 **marinara:  
** you love me

 **adrikins:  
** yeha  
i do

 **marinara:  
** yeha

 **adrikins:  
**?

 **marinara:  
** discount yeehaw

 **adrikins:  
** that's  
what you got out of that?

 **marinara:  
** slow down there, partner

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** what  
I love you  
but you have to let me make fun of you?

 **adrikins:  
** that's the price i have to pay?

 **marinara:  
** my heart is hard to have  
you have to suffer

 **adrikins:  
** does that mean i have it

 **marinara:  
** I fucking swear  
adrien  
if this is a dick joke

 **adrikins:  
** what  
maybe thinking is hard  
not just my penis?

 **marinara:  
** mmm  
not believing it

 **adrikins:  
** the disapproval you have for my crotch  
is very worrying?

 **marinara:  
** you're just worrying in general  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** that's so rude!

 **marinara:  
** but honest?

 **adrikins:  
** so cruel  
so mean

 **marinara:  
** you'll get over it

 **adrikins:  
** is this the suffering  
i have to go through for your love?

 **marinara:  
** yes  
you really deserve it

 **adrikins:  
** the love or suffering?

 **marinara:  
** both  
you've earned it  
good job

 **adrikins:  
** is that sarcasm  
or not

 **marinara:  
** it's not  
you're great  
good job.

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!

 **marinara:  
** I think you mean  
yeha

 **adrikins:  
** …  
do you want me to say howdy?  
what do you want from me?

 **marinara:  
** love and affection  
I don't ask for much

 **adrikins:  
** you're asking  
for the impossible!

 **marinara:  
** loving me is impossible?  
fucking rude, dude

 **adrikins:  
** don't you rhyme at me?  
i'm upset at you

 **marinara:  
** go ride off on your horse then

 **adrikins:  
** your stereotypes are offensive!

 **marinara:  
** you're offensive

 **adrikins:  
** you're so rude!  
give me the sweet mari back  
i don't like this one

 **marinara:  
** you made me this way

 **adrikins:  
** i take it all back!

 **marinara:  
** it's too late  
you said you loved me  
I'm here to stay

 **adrikins:  
** will  
my hatred banish you?

 **marinara:  
** try it

 **adrikins:  
** i  
can't  
you're too lovable

 **marinara:  
** ah, yes  
inflate my ego more

 **adrikins:  
** i'll inflate it like my armbands  
ready for danger

 **marinara:  
** what  
even are you

 **adrikins:  
** a mess  
that didn't even make sense  
i'm so sorry?

 **marinara:  
** you poor thing  
you're losing your mind

 **adrikins:  
** you're  
right...  
this is the suffering  
isn't it?

 **marinara:  
** the price of love

 **adrikins:  
** and i'm not even  
getting any action from this?  
this is a terrible deal

 **marinara:  
** idk  
be nicer to me and we'll see

 **adrikins:  
** what if i asked you over for dinner

 **marinara:  
** that depends  
will you be making it

 **adrikins:  
** is that what you want?

 **marinara:  
** your home is like  
an impenetrable fortress  
i want compensation for sneaking in

 **adrikins:  
** i

 **marinara:  
** that's not penetration  
before you fucking  
say it

 **adrikins:  
** but you set that right up?

 **marinara:  
** and i snatched it away  
bitch

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
full name  
did that joke mean that much to you?

 **adrikins:  
** i  
don't know your full name?

 **marinara:  
** let's keep it that way

 **adrikins:  
** mari  
what is your name

 **marinara:  
** forbidden

 **adrikins:  
** i take it back  
you can't come over for dinner

 **marinara:  
** why  
because you can't introduce me  
to daddy dearest now?

 **adrikins:  
** oh my god?  
i was going to sneak you in  
when he's away  
i'm not an idiot!

 **marinara:  
** I'm your dirty secret now?  
I'm so fucking offended

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** am I not worth an introduction

 **adrikins:  
** you are  
to the ones that matter

 **marinara:  
** rude

 **adrikins:  
** like plagg!  
he runs the house

 **marinara:  
** …  
please  
let me come over for dinner

 **adrikins:  
** okay  
great  
it's a date

 **marinara:  
** play-date with the kitten

 **adrikins:  
** yes

 **marinara:  
** yeha

 **adrikins:  
** let it  
die!

 **marinara:  
** calm down, bucko

 **adrikins:  
** i will block you!

-x-

 **group chat: we love chloe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** you obviously don't love her enough for the accent  
why the love

 **ninny:  
** shes invaded all of our hearts  
it was  
inevitable

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
sure

 **adrikins:  
** she just offered a christmas party!

 **ninny:  
** what do you mean  
just  
fucking rude

 **adrikins:  
** …  
sorry?

 **ninny:  
** as you should be?  
you dicks were only at mine for like  
two hours  
and made so much mess

 **adrikins:  
** and you think chloe will clear that up  
all by herself?

 **ninny:  
** thats why she has you  
right

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** is this another dress up party

 **adrikins:  
** yes  
but a bad sweater is enough for her!

 **marinara:  
** are you talking from experience here

 **adrikins:  
** none of my clothes are bad?  
unlike you  
miss  
needs to go shopping

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck  
I'm going shopping with her next week  
calm down

 **adrikins:  
** you're  
buying your christmas gifts  
aren't you?

 **marinara:  
** me?  
never.

 **ninny:  
** i dont believe you

 **marinara:  
** no one asked you  
fuck off

 **adrikins:  
** aggressive!

 **marinara:  
** we were having a moment

 **ninny:  
** a  
moment

 **marinara:  
** how dare you intrude like this  
go away  
with everyone else

 **ninny:  
** go private chat then?

 **marinara:  
** maybe we will!  
nah, that's later  
I'm here to bless you with my presence  
for now

 **ninny:  
** im so blessed  
?

 **marinara:  
** good good

 **adrikins:  
** i still have classes for a week  
before break

 **ninny:  
** sucks to be you  
buddy  
i finish this week

 **marinara:  
** I finished many years ago

 **ninny:  
** youre uneducated  
we get it

 **marinara:  
** I can't hear you  
I'm fanning myself with money

 **ninny:  
** what happened  
to you being modest

 **marinara:  
** I learned from chloé

 **adrikins:  
** i've already bought your presents  
both of you!  
well  
the ones for everyone in the chat  
and everyone else  
i'm prepared

 **marinara:  
** fuck  
you really are?

 **ninny:  
** nice  
we can just exchange at chloes thing then

 **marinara:  
** when even is it  
she's told me nothing

 **ninny:  
** she was gonna text you  
after talking to adrien

 **adrikins:  
** what  
i haven't heard from her today?

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
but youre going out for dinner?

 **adrikins:  
** i am?

 **ninny:  
** dude  
why do i know your day better than you

 **adrikins:  
** i  
don't know

 **ninny:  
** its tuesday

 **adrikins:  
** what  
fuck  
i thought it was monday?

 **marinara:  
** who forgets their fucking days now?  
yeha, bitch

 **adrikins:  
** you're getting too much joy out of this?  
this means i'll have to skip out  
on playing later

 **marinara:  
** I'll forgive you  
since you're leaving me for chloé  
I completely get it  
I'd leave you for her

 **adrikins:  
**?  
please don't?

 **marinara:  
** she's hard to beat  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** if you leave me  
you can't meet plagg!

 **marinara:  
** oh  
you're right

 **ninny:  
** hang on  
whats going on here

 **marinara:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** you cant just say no

 **adrikins:  
** mari's coming to meet plagg!

 **ninny:  
** hes a cool little dude  
when

 **adrikins:  
** idk  
we haven't set a date?  
is sunday good

 **marinara:  
** yeah, sure  
no stream so I can come over whenver  
I'm free like  
all day

 **ninny:  
** desperate

 **marinara:  
** I will  
say you're stalking me on stream

 **ninny:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** set my fans on you  
and let them eat you alive

 **adrikins:  
** your  
threats are getting more creative?

 **marinara:  
** I've been plotting

 **ninny:  
** hot

 **marinara:  
** die

 **ninny:  
** scorching

 **marinara:  
** why  
nino

 **ninny:  
** im like  
a little cheerleader on your shoulder  
telling you whats up

 **marinara:  
** can you not

 **ninny:  
** im inspirational

 **marinara:  
** you're just inspiring suicidal thoughts

 **ninny:  
** ill take it

 **marinara:  
** ok.

 **adrikins:  
** your friendship is weird

 **marinara:  
** are you judging us?

 **ninny:  
** i thought we were friends  
but youre so judgemental

 **adrikins:  
** maybe i'm just jealous?

 **ninny:  
** you inspire different thoughts for her  
dont worry

 **marinara:  
** sdgljhdh

 **adrikins:  
** ok!

 **ninny:  
** so  
sunday  
huh

 **marinara:  
** yes  
what of it

 **ninny:  
** sunday  
for petting a pussy

 **marinara:  
** I will fucking end you

 **ninny:  
** save the fucking for another time  
you need to be on top of your game

 **adrikins:  
** nino  
pls?

 **ninny:  
** ok ok  
sorry, man

 **marinara:  
** excuse me

 **adrikins:  
** thanks!

 **marinara:  
** what about me  
I'm the one scarred here

 **ninny:  
** i dont care about you  
sorry

 **marinara:  
** you've known me longer

 **ninny:  
** thats not a good reason to care

 **marinara:  
** my mom thought we were dating

 **ninny:  
** and you savagely broke up with me?  
im still recovering

 **marinara:  
** right  
has alya been comforting you with that

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
wiping away my tears

 **marinara:  
** you wish she was wiping something else  
huh

 **ninny:  
** so fucking bad

 **marinara:  
** don't admit it?

 **ninny:  
** what  
you asked?

 **marinara:  
** bitch  
do you see a question mark  
it wasn't a question

 **ninny:  
** i read it as one  
with the like  
lilt at the end

 **marinara:  
** I hate you

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **leks:  
** how long  
did u think it would be a secret for

 **marinara:  
** oh  
look at the time  
I need to sleep

 **leks:  
** u haven't even streamed yet  
shut the fuck up

 **marinara:  
** aggressive

 **leks:  
** mari  
u sent a pic to luka  
asking if u looked nice

 **marinara:  
** what  
it was an honest question

 **leks:  
** i bet ur not even wearing the clothes now

 **marinara:  
** no  
they're for tomorrow  
actually

 **leks:  
** right  
tomorrow

 **marinara:  
** fuck off  
you already know I'm going to adrien's  
I fucking  
told you?

 **leks:  
** ye  
everyone knows  
i'm sure ur mom even knows

 **marinara:  
** if she does  
it's because you told her

 **leks:  
** is it a date

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** do u want it to be

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** my intel tells me  
u need to stop being a pussy

 **marinara:  
** what are you  
a secret agent?

 **leks:  
** i know like  
everything about u  
might as well be

 **marinara:  
** I hate you

 **leks:  
** don't wear that shirt  
it clashes with ur hair

 **marinara:  
** wtf

 **leks:  
** what  
u wanted an opinion

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
luka's?

 **leks:  
** too late  
i already got the pic  
and sent it to the group chat

 **marinara:  
** why

 **leks:  
** everyone says  
it looks weird with ur hair  
sry  
it's banned until ur not pink

 **marinara:  
** but  
I like this shirt

 **leks:  
** and it doesn't like u much  
not any more

 **marinara:  
** but

 **leks:  
** _(image: screenshot of adrien saying the shirt looks nice)  
_ you dumbasses belong together

 **marinara:  
** that's so fucking rude  
but true

 **leks:  
** between u two  
u might have one braincell

 **marinara:  
** gonna take that as a compliment  
thanks

 **leks:  
** ur welcome

 **marinara:  
** do you want me to send plagg pictures tomorrow

 **leks:  
** do u even have to ask

 **marinara:  
** apparently  
I do

 **leks:  
** idiot

 **marinara:  
** I'm crying now

-x-

 **group chat: we love chloe  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **Alyarr:  
** aren't you supposed to be streaming

 **marinara:  
** yeah, soon

 **ninny:  
** did you miss us that much

 **marinara:  
** I left like  
half an hour ago

 **adrikins:  
** that's a long time to be apart!

 **Thani:  
** Dependency issues.

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah  
that

 **marinara:  
** no  
I came on because I was feeling nice  
but I'm rethinking it now

 **adrikins:  
** what?

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
you fucks didn't like my shirt

 **Thani:  
** The colours didn't match, Mari.

 **marinara:  
** neither does my underwear most of the time  
is that really such a problem

 **chloesterol:  
** ya  
what are u doing

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
no  
you're here

 **chloesterol:  
** hi

 **marinara:  
** I regret coming here at all

 **Thani:  
** It's too late, you're here for good.  
What's up?

 **Alyarr:  
** tell us your secrets

 **marinara:  
** do you...  
deserve them

 **adrikins:  
** i liked your shirt!

 **marinara:  
** you're right  
I'll only tell adrien  
see you, losers

 **chloesterol:  
** bitch **  
**ill find out anyway  
get it over with

 **ninny:  
** hes terrible with secrets  
everyone will know in no time

 **adrikins:  
**?  
i am amazing with secrets?

 **chloesterol:  
** name one

 **adrikins:  
** you don't all know who i like?

 **Alyarr:  
** lsdgdhdh  
try again

 **chloesterol:  
** are u a fucking idiot  
u told me

 **ninny:  
** dude  
bro  
i love you but  
youre stupid

 **adrikins:  
**?  
it's true!  
okay, some of you know  
but not everyone!

 **Thani:  
** I'd like to think I'm the smartest here.

 **ninny:  
** fuck off

 **Thani:  
** Nino refuses to confirm my assumptions, but I know.  
I have very strong feelings about this.

 **Alyarr:  
** you feeling strongly about anything is terrifying  
do you remember when you thought  
you were in love with mari

 **chloesterol:  
** wat

 **Thani:  
** It was a crush, thank you.  
Do I have to include that in my introduction now?  
Hi, I'm Nathaniel.  
My past mistakes include: befriending Nino and thinking Mari was cute.

 **Alyarr:  
** was?

 **Thani:  
** Cute in a dateable way, I mean.

 **adrikins:  
** was?

 **marinara:  
** I'm horribly offended here  
first of all  
I'm left out of adrien's secret?  
now you're telling me I'm not fucking cute?  
I'm adorable as heck

 **chloesterol:  
** can confirm ur cute in that way

 **marinara:  
** I will spit in your milkshake

 **chloesterol:  
** ur hate makes me stronger  
with every passing day

 **marinara:  
** why

 **chloesterol:  
** any attention is good attention

 **Alyarr:  
** that's  
not the phrase

 **chloesterol:  
** u cant control me

 **Thani:  
** That's good to know.

 **Alyarr:  
** ok  
ok.

 **Thani:  
** My third mistake is the worst.

 **chloesterol:  
** is it being born

 **Thani:  
** Yes.  
Yes, it is.  
How did you take the words right out of my mouth?

 **Alyarr:  
** not your mouth

 **Thani:  
** Hilarious.

 **ninny:  
** tell me  
the god damn secret, mari

 **marinara:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** tell me!

 **marinara:  
** since you asked so nicely  
...no

 **Thani:  
** I feel like you only came on to taunt us.

 **marinara:  
** it really was to tell you guys  
until I found out about all these  
secrets

 **chloesterol:  
** its one secret  
u fucking idiot

 **marinara:  
** abuse?

 **adrikins:  
** i'll  
tell you tomorrow?

 **marinara:  
**?  
question marks?

 **adrikins:  
** idk  
we'll see whether you deserve to know it?

 **marinara:  
** what the frick  
why do I have to pass a test first  
how did these idiots pass?  
before me?

 **adrikins:  
** gossiping is evil!

 **ninny:  
** i have never gossiped a day in my life  
how dare you

 **chloesterol:  
** its literally my birth right to torment u

 **adrikins:  
** you be quiet?

 **chloesterol:  
** why  
i know so many things

 **marinara:  
** what things  
tell me a thing  
and I'll tell you my thing

 **Thani:  
** Show me your thing and I'll show mine?  
Is that what we're doing now, Mari?

 **Alyarr:  
** no dicks please

 **marinara:  
** I promise there's no dicks

 **adrikins:  
**?

 **chloesterol:  
** do u want dicks tomorrow

 **adrikins:  
** are you calling me a dick?

 **chloesterol:  
** why

 **Thani:  
** Go on, Mari.

 **Alyarr:  
** we're  
waiting  
very patiently

 **marinara:  
** patient can never be associated with any of you  
ever

 **chloesterol:  
** fuck u

 **marinara:  
** no.

 **Alyarr:  
** mature

 **marinara:  
** I'll stop insulting you guys  
when you fucking bury me

 **adrikins:  
** i'll get you the nicest flowers!

 **marinara:  
** I want your tears  
not pity flowers

 **Thani:  
** Kinky.

 **Alyarr:  
** I never knew you were into that  
are you into whips

 **marinara:  
** …

 **chloesterol:  
** mari

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **chloesterol:  
** im gonna tell u  
the thing  
privately

 **marinara:  
** but I'm saying my thing here

 **chloesterol:  
** hurry the fuck up then

 **marinara:  
** I have to  
like  
warm up first  
doing my stretches

 **ninny:  
** youre supposed to start your stream  
in like two minutes

 **marinara:  
** oh, fuck  
okay

 **adrikins:  
** run!

 **marinara:  
** yeah, yeah  
I'm going  
doing a giveaway if you guys want to enter

 **Alyarr:  
** but you play with us anyway

 **marinara:  
** it's for free stuff I got  
with a sponsorship

 **Thani:  
** This was the big thing?

 **marinara:  
** I never said it was big  
you had your mind in the gutter

 **Alyarr:  
** true  
but ok!  
free shit is good shit

 **marinara:  
** exactly?  
anyway  
tell me the thing, chloé

 **chloesterol:  
** that depends  
will i have a better chance at winning

 **marinara:  
** no

 **chloesterol:  
** rigged

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
not rigging it for you

 **chloesterol:  
** coward

 **marinara:  
** ok

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: chloesterol and marinara**

 **chloesterol:  
** loser

 **marinara:  
** you still have a chance at winning?

 **chloesterol:  
** fuck u  
thats not the point

 **marinara:  
** thing me

 **chloesterol:  
** u are a thing

 **marinara:  
** wow, yes  
thanks  
that was really worth it

 **chloesterol:  
** fk u

 **marinara:  
** why must you continue to hit me on

 **chloesterol:  
** im too good for u

 **marinara:  
**?

 **chloesterol:  
** my opinion of u went down  
when i realised who u like

 **marinara:  
** you don't know anything

 **chloesterol:  
** i know everything  
like  
adriens tells

 **marinara:  
** what

 **chloesterol:  
** when hes shy  
he touches his hair  
or neck

 **marinara:  
** I  
could've figured that out on my own

 **chloesterol:  
** he also rly likes hugs  
so do that

 **marinara:  
**?  
you do not control me?

 **chloesterol:  
** also he likes ur hair in buns

 **marinara:  
** oh  
really?

 **chloesterol:  
** i have so much more info  
but thats all u get  
for now


	22. 22

**AN:** Previously: Adrien and Mari flirted a lot and planned to have dinner at Adrien's house, Chloé volunteered to host a party, Chloé and Mari arranged to go shopping for Christmas presents, and Chloé gave Mari some pointers on what Adrien likes.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: mari is hopeless  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** that name offends me?  
also  
hello

 **Alyarr:  
** hello young lady  
where have you been

 **marinara:  
** away  
what up

 **ninny:  
** what  
up

?  
?

 **marinara:  
** you heard me.

 **Thani:  
** How was dinner, Mari?  
It's awfully late for young kids like you.  
You must have a good reason for staying up.  
I sure hope it's not anything that you're underaged for.

 **marinara:  
** was that supposed to be a sex joke  
because I'm old enough for that  
sorry

 **ninny:  
** fuck you

 **marinara:  
** offensive  
adrien's gonna be here soon

 **Alyarr:  
** and why  
isn't he here now

 **marinara:  
** because he walked me home?

 **Alyarr:  
** you were  
at his

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
gotta get my daily exercise in  
otherwise I'll be a lump

 **Thani:  
** You've literally never cared about exercise before.

 **marinara:  
** listen  
fuck you?  
when you were guys gonna tell me adrien likes me?  
get off your high horses

 **Alyarr:  
** oh  
he likes you?  
that's news

 **marinara:  
** as if you don't know?

 **ninny:  
** no  
this is definitely news to us  
yes  
liking someone?  
never heard of it before

 **marinara:  
** you have a girlfriend

 **ninny:  
** thats love  
dont try and demean our relationship

 **marinara:  
** fuck  
you

 **Alyarr:  
** you're very aggressive

 **marinara:  
** I don't know what you're talking about

 **chloesterol:  
** did he do it

 **marinara:  
** what

 **chloesterol:  
** im obliged not to tell  
unless u tell me

 **marinara:  
** what  
that he likes me?

 **chloesterol:  
** i can neither confirm or deny that

 **marinara:  
** wtf  
since when are you loyal to him

 **chloesterol:  
** when im feeling nice

 **ninny:  
** youre always nice

 **Alyarr:  
** we're convinced you're nice  
for now

 **chloesterol:  
** my plan is working  
soon all of adriens friends will be mine  
and i can laugh at him

 **Thani:  
** What happened to that loyalty?

 **chloesterol:  
** stealing friends is different to  
keeping secrets

 **marinara:  
** listen  
no one here is fucking subtle  
not after my revelation

 **Thani:  
** I mean, you didn't pick it up at the time.

 **marinara:  
** even you?

 **Thani:  
** Sorry, what?  
I don't know what we're talking about, my bad.  
I'm clearly hallucinating this conversation.

 **marinara:  
** I hate you

 **Alyarr:  
** was it a date then

 **marinara:  
** I don't know  
you tell me

 **Alyarr:  
** I  
wasn't there?

 **marinara:  
** guess you won't know then  
sorry, sucks to be you

 **ninny:  
** i like you for who you are, alya  
its ok

 **Alyarr:  
** thanks  
that's so reassuring, babe

 **ninny:  
** anything for you

 **chloesterol:  
** nauseating

 **marinara:  
** I second that  
you two can't be happy  
when all you do is torment me

 **ninny:  
** i have never done such a thing in my life  
you are precious

 **marinara:  
** every moment with you is torture

 **ninny:  
** does that mean you like pain  
youre still here?

 **chloesterol:  
** i mean  
spending time with adrien is that too  
and considering the heart eyes u give each other

 **Thani:  
** Heart eyes?  
They're so very platonic.

 **Alyarr:  
** absolutely  
I give you the dirty heart eyes, nino

 **ninny:  
** sweet

 **adrikins has joined the chat**

 **Alyarr:  
** there he is!

 **marinara:  
** ( _image:_ _plagg stretched out with the text fuck you above)_

 **adrikins:  
** why do you still have that?

 **marinara:  
** I like it  
he's very photogenic here

 **adrikins:  
** true

 **marinara:  
** glad you agree

 **chloesterol:  
** so like  
did u platonic bang or what

 **marinara:  
** wtf

 **chloesterol:  
** did u really just have awkward dinner together  
thats so disappointing

 **marinara:  
** it was a nice dinner?

 **adrikins:  
** mari helped me cook!  
it was fun

 **marinara:  
** I held the cat

 **ninny:  
** the cat?  
shame on you  
you tell me off for saying it  
and now plagg doesnt even have a name in your eyes?

 **marinara:  
** go away

 **ninny:  
** no

 **Thani:  
** Child, behave.

 **Alyarr:  
** fk off granny

 **Thani:  
** Offensive. I'm not that old.

 **Alyarr:  
** you're older than me  
that's all that matters

 **marinara:  
** congrats, nath  
glad you have something to lord over alya  
keep up the good work

 **chloesterol:  
** ur awful

 **marinara:  
** is that directed at me

 **chloesterol:  
** ya  
im gonna steal adrien now

 **marinara:  
** I feel like you have to let him go one day  
your friendship isn't healthy

 **chloesterol:  
** someone has to tell me the details  
if ur just gonna be a cunt

 **ninny:  
** wow big word?

 **Thani:  
** Rude word, you mean.

 **ninny:  
** thats what i said  
big man

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm sorry  
what  
did you really just call him  
big man

 **ninny:  
** i mean  
hes big  
so am i wrong

 **Alyarr:  
** please  
never again

 **adrikins has left the chat  
chloesterol has left the chat**

 **ninny:  
** not even a bye  
are we not worth it anymore

 **Thani:  
** Nino, were you ever worth it?

 **Alyarr:  
** good question

 **ninny:  
** dont bully me

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** Hey.

 **marinara:  
** yes, I can see through you  
you want to talk to me

 **Thani:  
** That's the purpose of chats, yes.

 **marinara:  
** you're pouncing on me  
because adrien's not here

 **Thani:  
** And where is that fine fellow?  
He's normally up now.

 **marinara:  
**...that fine fellow  
is having an early night  
he wasn't feeling that good earlier  
plus chloé probably like  
made his headache worse

 **Thani:  
** He felt unwell and you let him walk you home?

 **marinara:  
** I didn't let him do anything  
besides  
he can outrun me in seconds  
there's no escape

 **Thani:**  
Did you want to speak about what happened earlier?

 **marinara:  
** what happened

 **Thani:  
** You know, the whole Adrien liking you thing.  
You're not mad at us, are you?

 **marinara:  
** more mad at myself  
for being oblivious as fuck?  
but it's okay  
I spoke to juleka about it before I actually came on here  
so that cleared up a lot

 **Thani:  
** Sure you're not mad?  
We've been teasing him about you, as much as I tease you about him.

 **marinara:  
** wow, that's a relief to hear  
you're so fucking rude to me  
how does he handle that?  
have you caused him to cry

 **Thani:  
** Yes, many times.  
His tears give me satisfaction.

 **marinara:  
** your kinks are coming out again  
tone it down

 **Thani:  
** Make me.

 **marinara:  
** this is very sexually aggressive  
and I'm into it

 **Thani:  
** I'm screenshotting that.

 **marinara:  
** fake  
you've got no proof

 **Thani:  
** The proof is in my heart.

 **marinara:  
** is your heart pudding

 **Thani:  
** It could be for you, pudding.  
Want a taste?

 **marinara:  
** I sincerely hope this isn't how you flirt

 **Thani:  
** Honestly, only after I stop flirting.  
I used to clam up with you a lot.

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
go back to that  
please

 **Thani:  
** I'll consider it.

 **marinara:  
** yeah, thanks  
so

 **Thani:  
** So.

 **marinara:  
** idk this is awkward  
dunno how to say this

 **Thani:  
** Hit me with it.

 **marinara:  
** I'm going to bed  
night

 **Thani:  
** Wow, that was so hard.  
Night, Mari.

-x-

 **group chat: mari is hopeful  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** chloé is banned

 **leks:  
** wrong  
ur suffering fuels all of us

 **marinara:  
** did she fucking  
send the pictures here again

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
we enjoyed them  
thanks for the prime entertainment

 **marinara:  
** this is why we broke up

 **Alyarr:  
** because you're not very photogenic in your work uniform?  
that's a shame

 **leks:  
** u need to spice it up  
put some clips in ur hair

 **marinara:  
** my hair  
is pink

 **Alyarr:  
** dye doesn't mean you stop caring about your appearance  
come on  
spice it up  
make us proud

 **marinara:  
** I wear make-up for my streams

 **leks:  
** but not work

 **marinara:  
** bitch  
do you want me to wear it for over twelve hours?

 **leks:  
** ye

 **marinara:  
** big no to that

 **leks:  
** is it bigger than u

 **marinara:  
** I'm ignoring you from now on  
you mean nothing to me

 **ninny:  
** okay you two  
stop flirting

 **marinara:  
** no one notices the flirting  
don't lie

 **Alyarr:  
** we're not all you  
sorry

 **marinara:  
** shut the fuck up

 **Alyarr:  
** I take back my sorry  
you don't deserve it

 **marinara:  
** you're the worst

 **Alyarr:  
** but you love me?

 **marinara:  
** I have bad taste

 **leks:  
** u can say that again

 **marinara:  
**?  
I do not deserve this?

 **ninny:  
** idk juleka  
adrien is a good choice

 **Alyarr:  
** you're only saying that because he's your friend

 **leks:  
** isn't he ur friend too

 **ninny:  
** whats your point here  
hes a good boy  
the goodest  
you shut your filthy mouth, juleka

 **leks:  
** ok  
sry

 **ninny:  
** thanks

 **Alyarr:  
** mari  
I have questions

 **marinara:  
**...about?

 **Alyarr:  
** you

 **marinara:  
** okay, I guess

 **ninny:  
** mari  
will i win the lottery

 **marinara:  
** you already did with alya

 **Alyarr:  
** nice  
but that's not my question

 **marinara:  
** what is it then?

 **Alyarr:  
** when you look at adrien  
do you feel an  
adrienaline rush  
in your lady parts

 **marinara:  
** I will fucking leave

 **ninny:  
** sdgkdhd

 **Alyarr:  
** oh come on  
I've been holding onto that for ages  
and you don't even laugh?

 **marinara:  
** I want to die

 **Alyarr:  
** because of his looks?  
that's a bit mean

 **leks:  
** but he's a good pick  
remember  
even if his face makes her want to die

 **marinara:  
** because he's pretty  
fuck you

 **ninny:  
** nice

 **marinara:  
** …

 **Alyarr:  
** nice

 **leks:  
** nice

 **marinara:  
** I will cry  
if you continue to bully me

 **ninny:  
** its how we show our love  
stop complaining  
you ungrateful brat

 **marinara:  
** sorry, daddy

 **Alyarr:  
** I can't tell you what that did to me  
but it wasn't good

 **marinara:  
** I thought you were going somewhere else at first  
was about to leave  
forever

 **leks:  
** stop judging kinks  
i know all about urs

 **ninny:  
** oooh  
do tell

 **marinara:  
** you do not  
shut up

 **leks:  
** pay me for my silence

 **marinara:  
**?  
what do you want

 **Alyarr:  
** what happened to denying she knew?

 **marinara:  
** at this point  
juleka is all-knowing  
there is nothing that's hidden from her

 **leks:  
** that's right  
including ur big secrets

 **marinara:  
** I wouldn't call them  
big

 **leks:  
** pretty big  
who's involved is big  
right

 **marinara:  
** …

 **Alyarr:  
** what is this secret of marinette and a big boy

 **leks:  
** who said it was a boy

 **ninny:  
** spicy  
you know you love us, juleka  
tell us your secrets

 **leks:  
** ye but  
i love mari more  
so no

 **ninny:  
** wtf  
she didnt even offer you anything

 **leks:  
** i felt it  
telepathetically

 **Alyarr:  
** tele  
pathetically

 **leks:  
** fk off

 **marinara:  
** it was pretty pathetic  
can't lie there

 **ninny:  
** you just called yourself pathetic

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
am I wrong?

 **Alyarr:  
** no  
you're correct  
but we love you for it

 **marinara:  
** wow  
thank you so much for accepting me

 **ninny:  
** welcome

 **marinara:  
** I'm so blessed  
what great friends you are

 **group chat: mari is hopeful is now group chat: telepathetic  
leks has left the chat**

 **ninny:  
** pussy

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** hi!

 **marinara:  
** yes  
what

 **adrikins:  
** i just  
felt like saying hi

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
we're literally watching a film together

 **adrikins:  
** yeah  
but i can't actually say it?

 **marinara:  
** not my fault you have a cold  
keep your sniffles to yourself  
fiend

 **adrikins:  
** isn't sharing caring?

 **marinara:  
** share other things with me  
stuff I actually want

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
oh my  
are you flirting with me?

 **marinara:  
** I could be?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm down for that!

 **marinara:  
** of course you are  
that's not surprising at all

 **adrikins:  
** wow  
so enthusiastic

 **marinara:  
** what can I say  
you get me excited

 **adrikins:  
** i'll just  
go cry in the corner then!  
i can tell when i'm not wanted...

 **marinara:  
** hey  
we're not finished yet  
cry after

 **adrikins:  
** i'm crying already?  
this is bad

 **marinara:  
**?  
you're the one that wanted to watch it?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah because  
i feel sick  
and your suffering cheers me up?

 **marinara:  
** I'm reconsidering being your friend

 **adrikins:  
** but we're so much more than that!

 **marinara:  
** best friends

 **adrikins:  
** the bestest

 **marinara:  
** does that give me the right  
to come see plagg again

 **adrikins:  
** sure!  
he liked you  
and licked that  
a great sign

 **marinara:  
** he's a good boy

 **adrikins:  
** yah...  
totally...

 **marinara:  
** yah

 **adrikins:  
** i'm feeling the juleka vibes  
i wanted to channel her

 **marinara:  
** what  
you get a blocked nose and you turn into a lesbian?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
isn't that good news

 **marinara:  
** the best  
I'm so proud of you

 **adrikins:  
** thanks

 **marinara:**  
you're on break now, right?

 **adrikins:  
** i don't have a job

 **marinara:  
** you know what I meant  
you fuck

 **adrikins:  
** sorry!  
yeah, no more classes  
freedom!

 **marinara:  
** lucky  
I still have to work

 **adrikins:  
** i could come  
and keep you company

 **marinara:  
** you mean watch me creepily  
not sure about that, buddy

 **adrikins:  
** cheering you on silently!

 **marinara:  
** mhmm  
just so my parents can talk to you?  
no, pal  
no way

 **adrikins:  
** but why, friend?

 **marinara:  
** because they'll smother you  
let them calm down first

 **adrikins:  
** maybe i want to be smothered  
maybe that's my dream...

 **marinara:  
** in like  
a platonic way or not

 **adrikins:  
** oh my god  
i don't want to seduce your mother?

 **marinara:  
** it could be my dad  
don't be homophobic

 **adrikins:  
** sdlgjkdh

 **marinara:  
** and here I thought you were open-minded  
tsk tsk

 **adrikins:  
** can i just be smothered by you  
end me

 **marinara:  
** let plagg smother your face  
when you sleep

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** why not?  
I'm sure he'll purr at that  
like the good little boy he is

 **adrikins:  
** that's terrible?  
i don't want fur up my nose

 **marinara:  
** not like you'd notice it with your cold

 **adrikins:  
** way to remind me

 **marinara:  
** welcome

 **adrikins:  
** i hope you suffer tomorrow

 **marinara:  
** rude?  
I've thought ahead and picked out some comfy shoes  
I'm smart  
chloé won't make my feet hurt now

 **adrikins:  
** you picked out your outfit?  
that's adorable!

 **marinara:  
** hey  
don't mock me

 **adrikins:  
** no, i'm being sincere!  
is it out on your bed  
all neat

 **marinara:  
** no  
I have to sleep in that bed

 **adrikins:  
** you're right  
how could i be so stupid?

 **marinara:  
** sometimes I wonder that about you  
but I've just accepted it now

 **adrikins:  
** thank you  
for accepting me!

 **marinara:  
** I meant your stupidity, not you

 **adrikins:  
** so mean?  
don't break my heart

 **marinara:  
** I'd never!  
but like  
if I did  
would that stop chloé from coming to my work

 **adrikins:  
** maybe  
do you want to test it out?

 **marinara:  
** that's not a very good answer

 **adrikins:  
** i can't tell you for sure  
you're a master with a blender

 **marinara:  
** write that on my gravestone

 **adrikins:  
** okay  
you can trust me!

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
knew I could

 **adrikins:  
** have fun shopping tomorrow  
I don't feel sorry for you

 **marinara:  
**?

 **adrikins:  
** you brought it upon yourself?  
fun times are ahead

 **marinara:  
** fuck you  
I'll enjoy my date with chloé

 **adrikins:  
** mmm  
think of me!

 **marinara:  
** I'll think of you sniffing  
grossly

 **adrikins:  
** perfect!  
at least i know you love me for who i am

 **marinara:  
** a  
pain in the ass?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
but i'm your pain in the ass

 **marinara:  
** you're right  
that makes it all better

 **adrikins:  
** i'm swooning

 **marinara:  
** that's called being dizzy  
because you're ill

 **adrikins:  
** don't ruin the moment

 **marinara:  
** xo

-x-

 **group chat: telepathetic  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** what up world  
counting down to my death  
in  
half an hour

 **Thani:  
** That's a bit dramatic.  
We'll forget about you before that even happens.

 **marinara:  
** great  
thanks for that

 **Thani:  
** You're welcome.

 **marinara:  
** you're so nice

 **chloesterol:  
** bitch  
uve got enough money  
replace ur shitty clothes

 **marinara:  
** you can't just call them shitty  
they're  
sentimental to me

 **chloesterol:  
** make me

 **marinara:  
** are you  
seducing me...

 **chloesterol:  
** maybe

 **marinara:  
** what the heck  
either commit or don't  
you can't string me along like this

 **chloesterol:  
** lets see how today goes  
to be realistic

 **marinara:  
** that's  
very smart, actually  
fine

 **chloesterol:  
** yes  
praise me more

 **marinara:  
** all right, calm down  
I didn't been to influence your praise kink

 **chloesterol:  
** im sorry u cant love urself  
as much as i do

 **marinara:  
** aw  
you love me?

 **chloesterol:  
** no  
i love myself  
read my fucking words

 **marinara:  
** heartbroken...

 **chloesterol:  
** dress nicely first

 **marinara:  
** my clothes aren't that bad  
you're just  
exaggerating

 **chloesterol:  
** mari  
u told me u still have clothes from when ur were a teen

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
twenty?

 **chloesterol:  
** exactly

 **marinara:  
** wtf

 **chloesterol:  
** clothes are important  
what if people start to think  
u only have two shirts

 **marinara:  
** you're wrong  
they think I have three

 **chloesterol:  
** why

 **marinara:  
** that was a joke  
I have more than that  
I swear  
I was just trying to be cute

 **chloesterol:**  
ur cute when ur pining  
go back to that

 **marinara:  
** excuse me  
what do you even know

 **chloesterol:**  
more than u

 **marinara:  
** other than that

 **chloesterol:  
** still more than u

 **Thani:  
** I can tell you're great friends.

 **marinara:  
** go away  
I'm bonding with chloé

 **Thani:  
** I'm not welcome here any more?  
That's just cruel.

 **marinara:  
** I don't like you

 **chloesterol:  
** do u like anyone  
other than me

 **marinara:  
** depends on the day  
more often than not  
just juleka

 **chloesterol:  
** and adrien

 **marinara:  
** well, yeah  
that was a given

 **chloesterol:  
** kinda has to be if ur dating  
idiot

 **marinara:  
** you don't get to give me dating advice?

 **Thani:  
** What?

 **marinara:  
** thanks for winning me money  
I appreciate it, chloé

 **chloesterol:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** aslkldgjlsh  
we were betting whether you or juleka  
would tell them first

 **chloesterol:  
** fucking  
excuse u

 **marinara:  
** I'm rich

 **chloesterol:  
** ur a dick

 **Thani:  
** Wait, wait.  
You and Adrien are actually dating?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, dude  
what  
did you think he'd just confess  
and I'd do nothing?  
please.

 **Thani:  
** That's what you made it out to be.  
I can't believe you'd do this to me.

 **marinara:  
** okay, drama queen  
it's only been like  
a day  
can't I keep my dating life a secret

 **chloesterol:  
** not with me here  
apparently  
u fuck

 **marinara:  
** not my fault you love me  
thanks, babe

 **chloesterol:  
** u dont get to call me babe  
thats for special people  
like nathe there

 **Thani:  
** It's Nath, but I appreciate the thought.  
Babe.

 **chloesterol:  
** ya exactly what i said

 **Thani:  
** Not quite.

 **chloesterol:  
** nvm ur being denied babe too  
im back to hating everyone

 **marinara:  
** are you  
still picking me up

 **chloesterol:  
** ya  
see u

 **marinara:  
** nice

 **chloesterol has left the chat**

 **Thani:  
** For real, you're dating?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
feel free to spread that round to the rest of them  
juleka's good with secrets

 **Thani:  
** She just twists them sometimes.

 **marinara:  
** she only had a day this time  
couldn't do much damage  
I'm safe

 **Thani:  
** Well, good job making him like you back.

 **marinara:  
** that  
sounds very aggressive  
I didn't force him or anything  
I swear

 **Thani:  
** Mmm.  
I'm sure.

 **marinara:  
** don't  
moan at me

 **Thani:  
** It's my thinking noise.

 **marinara:  
** your thoughts are as gross as that noise  
don't do it

 **Thani:  
** I've never moaned at you.

 **marinara:  
** so you admit it's a moan  
shame on you

 **Thani:  
** …  
No.

 **marinara:  
** too late  
moany boy

 **Thani:  
** Please, don't call me that.

 **marinara:  
** sadly  
you don't control me

 **Thani:  
** I'll cry.

 **marinara:  
** chloé does, though  
see ya

 **Thani:  
** Have fun!


	23. 23

**AN:** Previously: Mari had dinner at Adrien's, Mari told the group chat that Adrien confessed, Adrien and Mari revealed that they're dating, and Mari went to meet Chloé to go shopping for presents.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: telepathetic  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** christmas is over  
but it's still everywhere

 **adrikins:  
** you're not allowed to take your tree down!

 **marinara:  
** what if I knock it over  
am I allowed to then

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
you pick it right back up  
and make sure it's perfect

 **marinara:  
** your envy is getting out of control

 **adrikins:  
** listen  
i'm not allowed a tree any more?

 **ninny:  
** my guy  
youre an adult

 **adrikins:  
** am i?

 **marinara:  
** sometimes  
it depends on what you want at the time  
otherwise you literally say you need an adult

 **adrikins:  
** i  
do not?

 **ninny:  
** yeah, sure  
no ones gonna believe that  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** you two are mean  
stop it!

 **marinara:  
** we speak the truth  
I'm sorry it's painful to you  
but like  
don't you have a fake tree

 **adrikins:  
** yes  
a fake  
a fraud  
a monstrosity

 **marinara:  
** you have issues

 **adrikins:  
** my issue is plagg hating the fake tree  
he climbs a tree once  
and now he's forever banned?  
hasn't anyone heard of second chances

 **marinara:  
** he's the devil

 **ninny:  
** a cute devil  
but still

 **marinara:  
** yeah

 **adrikins:  
** shut your filthy mouths?  
how dare you

 **marinara:  
** no, no  
big fan of his work  
but I now know he can't be trusted with trees  
how can I even look at him the same?

 **ninny:  
** one chance is all you get with trees  
go green or go home

 **adrikins:  
** that  
doesn't even make sense?

 **ninny:  
** it sounded better in my head  
my hands  
ruin everything

 **marinara:  
** poor alya

 **ninny:  
** ive tainted her...

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
I believe that  
you're terrible

 **ninny:  
** sob...

 **adrikins:  
** now he's typing sob?  
it's okay, nino!  
even with your evil hands  
we love you

 **ninny:  
** couldnt you like  
say theyre not evil

 **marinara:  
** the truth hurts  
remember?  
that's what we're here for

 **ninny:  
** to  
hurt my feelings

 **adrikins:  
** are you sure you have feelings?  
i don't think so sometimes

 **ninny:  
** you know what  
you two dating is the worst  
its teaming up for more than bullying  
and i dont ship it any more

 **marinara:  
** mmm

 **adrikins:  
** you don't mean that!  
you're my number one wingman

 **ninny:  
** im your only wingman

 **adrikins:  
** saying wingwoman just seems  
unnecessary

 **marinara:  
** you're unnecessary

 **adrikins:  
** how dare you?  
my own girlfriend  
turning on me

 **marinara:  
** you're welcome

 **ninny:  
** sob with me

 **adrikins:  
** ok  
but like  
do you wanna come over and sob instead

 **ninny:  
** aaaa  
yeah, i think i can  
today?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
i made too much for dinner  
come come

 **marinara:  
**?  
fucking rude?  
I'm right here?

 **adrikins:  
** but  
you just insulted me

 **marinara:  
** it's how I show my love?

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
do you wanna come too?

 **marinara:  
** this is very forced

 **adrikins:  
** it's very sincere!  
i promise!

 **ninny:  
** please come  
before he complains that hes said the wrong thing to you  
for like half an hour

 **adrikins:  
** sdklgjdh  
i have  
never done that!

 **marinara:  
** mm  
I'm sure

 **ninny:  
** mari  
i have screenshots of him pining if you want

 **marinara:  
** oh  
what do I need to do for them

 **ninny:  
** bring me cake

 **marinara:  
** easy  
I can do that

 **adrikins:  
** can i have some too

 **marinara:  
** sure  
I'm bringing dessert  
I guess

 **ninny:  
** a perfect threesome

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not saying it's rigged  
but it's definitely rigged!

 **marinara:  
** please  
nino won fair and square

 **adrikins:  
** i refuse to believe it  
it was the screenshots  
wasn't it?

 **marinara:  
** yes, definitely  
so I faked my giveaway  
just to thank him for your panic

 **adrikins:  
** i knew it.

 **marinara:  
** you caught me  
doofus

 **adrikins:  
** that  
sounds more offensive than a swear

 **marinara:  
** right?  
not sure why

 **adrikins:  
** i'm just gonna blame nino

 **marinara:  
** first my tree  
now the giveaway  
what else will you seethe in jealousy of next?

 **adrikins:  
** people that get to see you daily!

 **marinara:  
** I  
was not expecting that answer

 **adrikins:  
** well  
it's true!

 **marinara:  
** you've hurt me  
I wasn't prepared for that

 **adrikins:  
** hurt your heart  
i hope?

 **marinara:  
** that doesn't sound positive at all  
but yes  
my heart is very much hurty

 **adrikins:  
** hurty

 **marinara:  
** don't ruin our moment

 **adrikins:  
** we can have other moments!  
this is more important

 **marinara:  
** what  
making fun of me?

 **adrikins:  
** yeha!  
gotta take my chance when i see it

 **marinara:  
** yeha is back, I see

 **adrikins:  
** frick

 **marinara:  
** forget out moment  
I want to bully you

 **adrikins:  
** you really need to look up  
other ways to express your love?

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
rude  
and it's not like you never realised this

 **adrikins:  
** true!  
i'm glad you're not all  
shy and quiet with me

 **marinara:  
** are you  
making a jab at me

 **adrikins:  
** no no!  
i mean  
thank you for warming up to me?

 **marinara:  
** adrien  
I did more than warm up to yo

 **adrikins:  
** warming up gone sexual

 **marinara:  
** no.

 **adrikins:  
** sad

 **marinara:  
** I'm not that warm  
sorry.

 **adrikins:  
** it was a joke!

 **marinara:  
** sdkgdhd  
I can tell, you idiot

 **adrikins:  
** there's the name calling again  
it's hurting my fragile ego

 **marinara:  
** you posted a picture yesterday  
and got thousands of likes

 **adrikins:  
** if we're being correct  
chloe posted it

 **marinara:  
** your ego can fuck off

 **adrikins:  
** rude!

 **marinara:  
** I'm not complaining  
more pictures for me to admire

 **adrikins:  
** don't do that!

 **marinara:  
** why not?  
you told me you watch my streams to see me  
isn't this like  
the same

 **adrikins:  
** but you barely post pictures!  
what else am i supposed to do when i'm bored?

 **marinara:  
** you  
could talk to me

 **adrikins:  
** you're busy sometimes!  
and i like your gameplay anyway  
it's a win-win situation, mari

 **marinara:  
** idk  
I just feel a bit  
embarrassed?  
not sure if that's the right word there

 **adrikins:  
** but whyyy

 **marinara:  
** because  
you're watching me when I'm unaware!  
that came out weird  
but yeah

 **adrikins:  
** you knew i did this anyway!

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
now you wanna kiss me

 **adrikins:  
** i've wanted to kiss you for a while!

 **marinara:  
** but I didn't know that  
that's my point!

 **adrikins:  
** dkgdh  
i promise i'm not staring at your lips or anything!  
they're nice and all but  
that would be weird  
wouldn't it?  
i swear i don't!  
i look at your smile sometimes  
or your reaction since you're so pretty

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
stop

 **adrikins:  
** let me appreciate my girlfriend!

 **marinara:  
** do it  
quietly

 **adrikins:  
** my keyboard is very quiet as i type this  
unlike yours

 **marinara:  
** don't shame my keyboard?

some people are into that

 **adrikins:  
** is that your fetish?  
because if it is  
i don't think this relationship will work out

 **marinara:  
** let me have my kinks  
what the heck

 **adrikins:  
** it's  
all coming out now

 **marinara:  
** don't bully me?

 **adrikins:  
** you don't control me  
i'll do what i want

 **marinara:  
**...right  
I'm sure

 **adrikins:  
** you don't sound very sure at all

 **marinara:  
** you're very  
easy to influence

 **adrikins:  
** how dare you  
call me easy?

 **marinara:  
** it's the truth and I should say it  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** absolutely offended  
how could you  
you're supposed to be on my side

 **marinara:  
** it's okay, I support you  
and your weakness

 **adrikins:  
** it's a weakness now!

 **marinara:  
** you are a weak boy

 **adrikins:  
** i'm cry

 **marinara:  
** see?  
so weak  
so adorable  
I'm into it

 **adrikins:  
** i'm getting very mixed signals  
but thanks?

 **marinara:  
** I'm your biggest fan

 **adrikins:  
** you're my only fan

 **marinara:  
** hey  
we both know that's not true

 **adrikins:  
** my only true fan?

 **marinara:  
** mmm  
still rude to others  
I don't approve

 **adrikins:  
**!  
fuck you!

 **marinara:  
** now you're rude to me  
I'm cry

 **adrikins:  
** good

 **marinara:  
** is this  
your kink

 **adrikins:  
** what if it is  
huh?  
what then?

 **marinara:  
** don't mind me  
just sobbing from despair

 **adrikins:  
** rip

-x-

 **group chat: milknet is dead  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** like  
scale of one to ten  
how much do I have to dress up tomorrow

 **chloesterol:  
** i will murder u

 **Thani:  
** That's a ten.

 **marinara:  
** yikes

 **chloesterol:  
** u bought ur outfit with me  
fucking wear it

 **marinara:  
** I'm getting cold feet

 **chloesterol:  
** its winter

 **marinara:  
** okay  
that was uncalled for

 **chloesterol:  
** deal with it  
match me

 **marinara:  
** I don't know how to tell you this  
but please  
look at our group name

 **chloesterol:  
** u changing it wont make it true  
im stuck with u

 **marinara:  
**?  
isn't it  
me stuck with you  
not the other way around?

 **chloesterol:  
** no  
im a blessing

 **marinara:  
** right

 **chloesterol:  
** fuck u

 **Thani:  
** I can really feel the forever vibes from you two.

 **marinara:  
** fuck off, nathe

 **Thani:  
** It's really not Nathe.  
Please.

 **marinara:  
** make me

 **Thani:  
** I don't appreciate your threats.  
They make me feel uncomfortable.

 **marinara:  
** hopefully your outfit tomorrow also does  
that's what I'm looking forward to

 **Thani:  
** I don't know what you're talking about.

 **marinara:  
** alya's a good source of info

 **Thani:  
** Are you sure about that?  
She's not very honest.

 **marinara:  
** do you mean  
you're not wearing tights

 **chloesterol:  
** tights or u cant come

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
what she said

 **Thani:  
** Why must you torture me so?

 **marinara:  
** alya said there's tights  
so there has to be tights

 **Thani:  
** Alya's word isn't law.

 **marinara:  
** that's where you're wrong

 **chloesterol:  
** what i want is law  
do it

 **Thani:  
** You can just say you want to see my legs.

 **chloesterol:  
** ill think about it

 **Thani:  
** You're going to think about my legs?  
Oh, my.

 **marinara:  
** stop that

 **Thani:  
** Stop what?  
I don't know what you're talking about.

 **marinara:  
** being  
weird

 **Thani:  
** With someone other than you?  
It's okay to admit you're jealous, Mari.

 **marinara:  
** jealous  
that you're joking with someone?

 **Thani:  
** Yes.

 **marinara:  
** I worry about you sometimes

 **Thani:  
** Thank you for caring.

 **chloesterol:  
** u two are weird  
whatever  
see u

 **chloesterol has left the chat**

 **Thani:  
** And there were two.

 **marinara:  
** I hate you

 **Thani:  
** You don't mean that.

 **marinara:  
** with every  
fibre of my being

 **Thani:  
** Deep.

 **marinara:  
s**o, tights boy  
you excited for tomorrow?

 **Thani:  
** Sure.

 **marinara:  
** I'll pretend that really has enthusiasm  
juleka's bringing her girlfriend along  
you can meet her

 **Thani:  
** Everyone's going to meet her, yes?

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
she's nice and needs to know you're nice  
you can make a friend

 **Thani:  
**...Thank you?

 **marinara:  
** you're welcome  
it's proof that I like you  
recommending you to my friends?  
amazing

 **Thani:  
** If Juleka's bringing along her girlfriend, are you bringing anyone?

 **marinara:  
**?  
everyone else?

 **Thani:  
** I meant Luka.

 **marinara:  
** oh  
no, he's cool not coming  
too overwhelming to meet everyone all at once  
you know?  
he's not really a social person

 **Thani:  
** Neither are you.

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
why do you think we're best friends

match made in heaven

 **Thani:  
** Are you sure he's not feeling left out?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
he's fine  
like  
he'd ask to be included if he wanted to be  
it might just take a while to work up the courage

 **Thani:  
**...That sounds like you should just ask him.

 **marinara:  
** then he'd say no  
you have to let him think it's his idea

 **Thani:  
** Thanks for that inside knowledge.  
I hope I can use it in the future.

 **marinara:  
** welcome

 **Thani:  
** You don't really speak about him often any more.

 **marinara:  
** I  
barely spoke about him anyway?

 **Thani:  
** True, but you did mention him more.  
A lot more than now.

 **marinara:  
** oh  
idk?  
bit weird talking about him when none of you  
even know him?  
I exhausted all the topics I could  
now it's just  
inside jokes that I'd have to awkwardly explain

 **Thani:  
** Well, his sister is here.

 **marinara:  
** that's even weirder  
she'll tell him I'm bitching  
just to spite me

 **Thani:  
** You love her really.

 **marinara:  
** it makes me question my mental state  
but yes  
how did this happen to me

 **Thani:  
** You should probably question it anyway.  
You're in this weird chat still.

 **marinara:  
** you're right  
bye

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: leks and maarinara**

 **leks:  
** my headphones broke

 **marinara:  
** dang  
you loved that pair

 **leks:  
** pls tell me u got a spare

 **marinara:  
** yeah, sure  
what colour do you want?

 **leks:  
** any

 **marinara:  
** you say that  
but I can see the light drain from your eyes  
when it's a colour you hate

 **leks:  
** i'm not picky with charity

 **marinara:  
** is it really charity  
what else would I do with all this shit?  
I have so much

 **leks:  
** don't let them hear u say that

 **marinara:  
** please  
take some off my hands  
just come over and pick yourself

 **leks:  
** are u sure

 **marinara:  
** yeah, dude  
come on

 **leks:  
** rly

 **marinara:  
** do you wanna go to the cinema?

 **leks:  
** is this u bribing me

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
come watch with me

 **leks:  
** ok  
i would've agreed anyway

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
now it's a win-win

 **leks:  
** i'm getting ice cream

 **marinara:  
** it's  
december

 **leks:  
** u can't stop me

 **marinara:  
** I'll just join you  
and suffer

 **leks:  
** nice  
we can split the flavours

 **marinara:  
** halfsies?

 **leks:  
** ye  
good plan

 **marinara:  
** okay, great

 **leks:  
** see u soon

-x-

 **group chat: milknet is dead  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Alyarr:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **Alyarr:  
** you really  
had to work today?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
but now we're closed until next year

 **ninny:  
** you make it sound like  
a really long time

 **marinara:  
** it's long for me  
I suffer  
and everyone asks how my holiday was  
or whether I even celebrate it

 **ninny:  
** fun times  
thank you for coming back to us

 **Alyarr:  
** we've missed you greatly  
we were mourning you  
the entire time

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
that makes me feel better

 **Alyarr:  
** it should  
we love you

 **marinara:  
** I'm not having a threesome with you

 **Alyarr:  
** idk  
we did get pretty close at chloe's  
we're almost there

 **marinara:  
** yeah, no  
I don't think so

 **ninny:  
** isnt mari  
our daughter or something  
i cant keep track of this family any more

 **Alyarr:  
** I just go with the flow  
agree with what everyone else says

 **marinara:  
** you're both losers

 **Alyarr:  
** you're absolutely right  
yes

 **ninny:  
** wow really  
thank you for enlightening me, mari  
i never knew

 **marinara:  
** you're welcome

 **Alyarr:  
** what a kind child

 **marinara:  
** thanks, mother

 **Alyarr:  
** anything for you darling

 **marinara:  
** how about  
don't do this  
it's creepy

 **ninny:  
** its only creepy if you call me daddy  
dont do that and we are fine, kiddo

 **marinara:  
** don't  
call me kiddo

 **ninny:  
** little buddy

 **Alyarr:  
** sounds more like a name for your penis

 **ninny:  
** pal?

 **marinara:  
** a dog

 **ninny:  
** daughter

 **marinara:  
** too strict  
what did I do wrong?

 **ninny:  
** well  
youre dating an older man

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
who's like your best friend

 **ninny:  
** exactly  
do you see the problem here  
?

 **Alyarr:  
** young lady  
this is terrible  
we'll get the law involved

 **marinara:  
** I'm just  
gonna leave

 **ninny:  
** get your butt back here  
missy

 **marinara:  
** I'm so uncomfortable

 **Alyarr:  
** with parenting?

 **marinara:  
** bad parenting

 **ninny:  
** so you admit  
we are parents

 **marinara:  
** pls stop

 **Alyarr:  
** too late  
I have a picture of us three I can frame on my wall

 **marinara:  
** it  
has us in bad costumes

 **ninny:  
** perfect for the family christmas card

 **marinara:  
** christmas is over

 **Alyarr:  
** we're prepared for next year  
no one's ever going to call us lazy

 **marinara:  
** I

 **ninny:  
** its ok  
we know you love us

 **marinara:  
** why did you ever start dating  
why did this have to happen

 **ninny:  
** your hatred brought us together  
thank you

 **marinara:  
** wasn't it your hatred  
of me

 **Alyarr:  
** to be fair  
it was for more than you  
but yes

 **ninny:  
** ive seen the error of my ways, ok  
i was a dumb

 **marinara:  
** a  
dumb

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
but now youre my favourite child

 **Alyarr:  
** you're the only one we can keep track of  
let's keep it that way

 **marinara:  
** good luck

 **Alyarr:  
** _(image: Alya and Nino with their arms wrapped around Marinette's shoulders, all smiling)  
_ a family portrait

 **marinara:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** look at our beautiful child  
dressed stupidly  
im so proud

 **marinara:  
** I don't like it when you  
compliment me  
makes me think you want something

 **Alyarr:  
** a happy family  
is that too much to ask?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
it is

 **ninny:  
** tsk  
youre terrible

 **marinara:  
** thank you!

 **Alyarr:  
** maybe we'll send you away to camp

 **marinara:  
** it's okay  
I'll do it  
time to banish myself

 **ninny:  
** come back when summers over

 **Alyarr:  
** we'll be waiting

 **marinara:  
** don't hold your breath

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** I'm not saying you're full of terrible ideas.  
But I'm not not saying that.

 **marinara:  
** pussy  
say it outright

 **Thani:  
** I'm going to voice my confusion instead.  
Why are you picking me?

 **marinara:  
** well  
I like you?

 **Thani:  
** Only like?  
After all this time?  
Consider me hurt, Mari.  
All our late nights together...

 **marinara:  
** shut up  
I said I'd play with a friend  
and you're a friend  
so come play on my stream with me

 **Thani:  
** Why not Adrien?

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
he's terrible  
improving but still terrible  
and he'd just  
flirt with me  
and I'd get all weird  
since so many people are listening

 **Thani:  
** You're wanting voice chat?

 **marinara:  
** oh, I meant with typing  
but we can voice, if you want?  
whatever makes you comfortable  
idk  
you're a good pick to have on  
you don't have to  
I'd just like you to

 **Thani:  
** I feel like I'm selling my soul here.  
How does pink hair come before bringing a friend online?

 **marinara:  
** luka's my usual friend  
but people know him  
plus you're already associated with my channel  
because of your emotes  
right?

 **Thani:  
** I've done more for Luka.

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
but you love me more  
so don't even mention that

 **Thani:  
** I haven't played in weeks.

 **marinara:  
** you don't have to be good

 **Thani:  
** You just said Adrien's bad.

 **marinara:  
** terribly bad  
but it's more because I'd want to be all gooey with him  
and I'm awkward

 **Thani:  
** Be gooey with me, Mari.  
It's my dream in life.

 **marinara:  
** okay  
if you play with me

 **Thani:  
** I expect to be wood by your sweet words.

 **marinara:  
** wood  
excuse you

 **Thani:  
** I meant wooed.  
Please.

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
my sweet words would give you wood  
if I say it right

 **Thani:  
** I really don't want an erection, thank you.

 **marinara:  
** fucking rude  
you don't appreciate me enough

 **Thani:  
** You wouldn't appreciate my erection.

 **marinara:  
** but I'd laugh at it  
that has to count for something  
right

 **Thani:  
** Woo me platonically, please.

 **marinara:  
** fine, fine  
I'll cater to your every whim

 **Thani:  
** Perfect.


	24. 24

**AN:** Previously: Nino won Mari's giveaway, Chloé's party happened, Juleka and Mari went to the cinema, and Mari asked Nath to play on stream with her. Also, _KimbaSprite_ has been kind enough to request an alternative version of _MDR_ where it's re-told outside of the chats from the beginning. So, that'll be out within the next month, hopefully.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: nath's the chosen one  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** okay  
reminder that no one's allowed to embarrass nath tonight

 **ninny:  
** we would never?

 **marinara:  
** no donating  
with a weird message to make him all awkward

 **Alyarr:  
** everyone else is going to do that  
not us

 **marinara:  
** no messaging him and making him lose focus

 **adrikins:  
** this  
is a lot of rules?

 **marinara:  
** just ignore him for the night  
that sounds better  
safer for everyone

 **Alyarr:  
** you don't control us?  
if I want to see him  
I will barge into his room  
try and stop me

 **marinara:  
** stop.

 **Alyarr:  
** ok sorry  
he's losing out on facemask night then  
since he's choosing you over me

 **marinara:  
** I asked first

 **Alyarr:  
** it's a tradition?  
and now he's picking you  
the ultimate betrayal

 **marinara:  
** maybe I'll wear a facemask  
and have him join me

 **adrikins:  
** but  
you're not showing his cam?  
why?

 **marinara:  
** it'll be there in feeling  
what the fuck  
don't be so rude

 **adrikins:  
**?  
then  
what if he lies and doesn't actually use it?

 **Alyarr:  
** you deserve that betrayal  
I hope someone lies to you

 **marinara:  
** I'll steal your boyfriend next

 **Alyarr:  
** that's your father you're talking about

 **marinara:  
** daddy kink  
let's go

 **Alyarr:  
** dlsgjkdh  
please no  
I didn't raise you like this

 **marinara:  
** all that time you were at work  
made me this way  
the babysitter was a bad influence

 **Alyarr:  
** I knew juleka couldn't be trusted with anything

 **marinara:  
**?  
juleka?

 **adrikins:  
** wouldn't you pick me  
not her?

 **Alyarr:  
** no  
that would make you a predator  
don't hit on the kids you're babysitting  
that's so fucking weird

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
you right  
okay, that's not me!  
i'll never babysit!

 **marinara:  
** good to know  
thank you for telling us

 **Alyarr:  
** does she let you stay up late

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
she does try and make me sleep earlier?  
that does count for something  
right

 **Alyarr:  
** not enough for her to be good

 **marinara:  
** I'll tell her that  
to her face

 **Alyarr:  
** that she's banned from babysitting?  
good

 **marinara:  
** okay  
I'll try and remember

 **Alyarr:  
** and I'm not paying her for the last night  
look what she's done to you

 **ninny:  
** if i cant talk to nath  
can i talk to you

 **marinara:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** why not  
youre not a coward with your chatbox covered  
its like  
begging for some good messages

 **marinara:  
** no.  
people will just think you want attention

 **ninny:  
** but i do  
from you

 **marinara:  
** get it from alya instead  
I'm off limits

 **adrikins:  
** but you've never told me not to?

 **marinara:  
** because  
you've never messaged my actual account  
only my alt that I play with you guys on

 **adrikins:  
** but  
what if tonight's the night?

 **marinara:  
** then go ahead

 **ninny:  
**?  
favouritism?

 **marinara:  
**?  
what's new

 **ninny:  
** you sucking his dick

 **Alyarr:  
** literally

 **adrikins:  
** alya!  
!

 **Alyarr:  
** what  
it's true isn't it  
don't get all shy now  
flirt in the chat like always  
chop chop  
come on you two

 **marinara:  
** we are not performing monkeys  
I will not  
dance for you

 **Alyarr:  
** what if I donated on stream

 **marinara:  
** depends on the amount

 **ninny:  
** priorities are good

 **marinara:  
** exactly  
so keep nath's in mind  
and don't bother him too much  
he's gonna be all quiet on voice chat as it is

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah yeah  
leave the baby alone

 **marinara:  
** I thought I was the baby?

 **Alyarr:  
** everyone is baby

 **ninny:  
** im  
not into ageplay  
alya pls

 **Alyarr:  
** make me

 **ninny has left the chat**

 **marinara:  
** bye  
that's it  
he's going to kill himself  
it's over

 **Alyarr:  
** coward

 **adrikins:  
** i'm  
coming to back away slowly

 **marinara:  
** you're not good at that

 **adrikins:  
** i will not listen to such slander?

 **marinara:  
** mmm  
I'm sure  
you already know you're shit at being slow

 **Alyarr:  
** is  
this tmi

 **adrikins:  
** sdlgdfhfj  
no!

 **marinara:  
** what

 **Alyarr:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** oh  
no  
no!  
it's a joke, alya!

 **Alyarr:  
** mmm

 **adrikins:  
** plagg gets scared from fast movements!  
so i always scare him  
by accident!  
that's what she meant  
not what your dirty mind thought of

 **Alyarr:  
** why am I the dirty one  
we were literally just talking about  
mari sucking your dick

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
stop  
I will leave

 **Alyarr:  
** ok  
my bad  
I will not talk about your bedroom time

 **marinara:  
** let's never mention it again  
thanks

 **Alyarr:  
** for being so open  
you're being very shy

 **marinara:  
** open?  
open?

 **adrikins:  
** i  
wouldn't call her open?

 **marinara:  
** you thought I was dating myself

 **Alyarr:  
** somehow  
I almost forgot that  
and now I want to punch myself for believing you at all

 **adrikins:  
** she's a good liar!

 **marinara:  
** the sad part is  
I'm so bad at lying irl  
so so bad

 **Alyarr:  
** do you  
have a tell

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
it's called existing

 **adrikins:  
** rip

 **marinara:  
** I am very trust worthy  
look into my eyes and tell me your deepest secrets

 **Alyarr:  
** okay  
I love you

 **adrikins:  
** that's  
not a secret!

 **marinara:  
** everyone and their mother knows that

 **Alyarr:  
** does your mother know  
I want her to like me  
more than nino

 **marinara:  
** are you trying to tell me **  
**nino doesn't like you very much?

 **Alyarr:  
** what  
you know I didn't mean it like that  
fuck off

 **marinara:  
** too late  
not relationship goals

 **Alyarr:  
** I'll punch you in the throat  
I'll do it

 **marinara:  
** you have to pay to come here first

 **Alyarr:  
** worth it

 **marinara:  
** aw  
you think I'm worth the money  
I love you, alya

 **Alyarr:  
** it'll be so worth it  
to see you squirm in pain

 **marinara:  
** this took a big turn from you confessing to me?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm getting mixed signals

 **Alyarr:  
** I have no signals for you adrien  
that time in my life is over

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sad now

 **Alyarr:  
** good

 **marinara:  
** give us the good alya back  
you're mean

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm living my best life

 **marinara:  
** and I have to go now  
please  
don't bully nath

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm gonna kick his door open  
and scream

 **marinara:  
** he has push to talk for his mic

 **Alyarr:  
** fuck

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** ye  
it's a great idea

 **marinara:  
** it's your worst idea  
I don't approve of it

 **leks:  
** too late  
he already said yes

 **marinara:  
** don't lie

 **leks:  
** but he did  
text him and confirm it  
i dare u

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** do it  
pussy

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
no

 **leks:  
** it's happening

 **marinara:  
** why have you done this

 **leks:  
** because  
it's one more person to torment u  
and that's my kinda thing

 **marinara:  
** you're  
a traitor

 **leks:  
** was i ever on ur side

 **marinara:  
** no  
you're right

 **leks:  
** love u

 **marinara:  
** that just  
sounds so very sarcastic  
I'm offended

 **leks:  
** he's been talking to nath  
like  
i saw nath's name pop up  
on his phone

 **marinara:  
** excuse me  
what

 **leks:  
** idk  
besties now or some shit

 **marinara:  
** are you kidding me  
neither of them has said anything

 **leks:  
** wow  
wonder how that feels

 **marinara:  
** now is not the time  
juleka  
it's not all about you  
this is about my feelings

 **leks:  
** sry  
my bad

 **marinara:  
** thank you

 **leks:  
** k

 **marinara:  
** k

 **leks:  
** i'll ask nino to add him later

 **marinara:  
** I hate your brother

 **leks:  
** is that why  
ur coming over later

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
I'm gonna suffocate him

 **leks:  
** with what

 **marinara:  
** the blanket I'm stealing from him

 **leks:  
** his own blanket  
so mean

 **marinara:  
** I think it's pretty fitting

 **leks:  
** his feet stick out the end of it

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
that's why it's my blanket now

 **leks:  
** but i use it

 **marinara:  
** it's mine  
I've claimed it

 **leks:  
** did u like  
pee on it

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
or did I write my name on the label  
like a civilised person

 **leks:  
** that's not u

 **marinara:  
** I did spill my drink on it the other day  
did he wash it yet?

 **leks:  
** doubt it

 **marinara:  
** really did claim it then

 **leks:  
** gross

 **marinara:  
** I'm an angel

 **leks:  
** no

-x-

 **group chat: nath's the chosen one  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **chloesterol:  
** loser

 **marinara:  
** is that directed at me  
or what

 **chloesterol:**  
everyone  
and u

 **marinara:  
** okay, thank you for that

 **ninny:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** nino!

 **adrikins:  
**!  
you're here!

 **leks:  
** hi

 **marinara:  
** hello, friends  
and chloé

 **chloesterol:  
** hi

 **ninny:  
** the accent means you like her  
remember

 **marinara:  
** damn  
being caught lying through text too  
this is a disaster

 **chloesterol:  
** wat

 **marinara:  
** never mind  
don't worry your pretty little head about it

 **chloesterol:  
** im taller than u

 **marinara:  
** but I called you pretty  
no need to be petty

 **leks:  
** stop flirt

 **marinara:  
** I will flirt all I like  
chloé gets me

 **chloesterol:  
** what do u want  
why u trying to be cute

 **marinara:  
** trying?

 **chloesterol:  
** trying

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
offensive

 **chloesterol:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** you  
can't say no to my point

 **chloesterol:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** no

 **chloesterol:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** that's  
not how this works

 **chloesterol:  
** no

 **leks:  
** can u get this over with  
pls

 **ninny:  
** im supposed to be waiting for a signal

 **marinara:  
** is it me crying  
because I'm doing that now

 **adrikins:  
**?  
wipe your tears

 **marinara:  
** make me

 **adrikins:  
** i'm powerless here  
i cannot control anyone  
no one will ever listen to me

 **marinara:  
** okay  
you sound like you have more problems than me  
you can have the spotlight

 **chloesterol:  
** no

 **marinara:  
** we're not talking to you right now!

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** later!

 **chloesterol:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** how can you argue with this  
better admit befeat

 **marinara:  
** befeat

 **chloesterol:  
** idiot

 **ninny:  
** wtf  
i was on your side here  
and this is how you treat me?

 **chloesterol:  
** i dont pick favourites  
sry

 **adrikins:  
** that's a lie!  
i know you better than that!

 **chloesterol:  
** gay

 **adrikins:  
** what **  
**?

 **chloesterol:  
** u heard me

 **adrikins:  
** it made no sense!  
i'm annoyed now!

 **marinara:  
** that's it  
you've angered the impossible  
we're kicking you out, chloé  
you can't sit with us

 **chloesterol:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** powerful words  
from a powerful girl

 **chloesterol:  
** ur all weird  
im leaving

 **marinara:  
** …

 **chloesterol has left the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
okay?

 **ninny:  
** ok  
compliment her to get rid of her  
ill keep that in mind

 **marinara:  
** nah  
she's going out for dinner

 **adrikins:  
**?  
why do you know that and not me?

 **marinara:  
** because  
we're friends

 **adrikins:  
** she's my best friend?

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
she's also my friend

 **adrikins:  
** favouritism?

 **ninny:  
** wild

 **marinara:  
** I'm in the know  
I deserve this position  
do you know what I've been through because of her?

 **adrikins:  
** please  
no

 **marinara:  
** milkshake in the eye, adrien  
in the eye  
do you want that?

 **adrikins:  
** no?

 **marinara:  
** then  
I deserve the gossip  
not you

 **ninny:  
** its gossip worthy?

 **marinara:  
** maybe

 **ninny:  
** to be gossip  
you gotta have someone to talk to  
right

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
and that someone is chloé

 **ninny:  
** sad

 **marinara:  
** fuck you

 **leks has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
** juleka!

 **leks:  
** hi

 **adrikins:  
** hello!  
how was your day been  
you're nice  
i like talking to you

 **leks:  
** what  
do u want

 **adrikins:  
** what makes you think i want something?

 **marinara:  
** everything

 **adrikins:  
** you!  
stay! out of this!

 **marinara:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** doesnt quite have the chloe impact

 **marinara:  
** fk you

 **leks:  
** ok  
i regret coming here

 **marinara:  
** you literally planned this  
it's your fault

 **adrikins:  
**?

 **leks:  
** k  
go on nino

 **ninny:  
** drumroll pls

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **ninny:  
** ok  
fuck you too

 **adrikins:  
** mean

 **ninny has invited luka to the chat  
luka has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** what up  
asshole

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **ninny:  
** no, thats luka

 **leks:  
** shut the fuck up  
u don't get to make those jokes

 **luka:  
** what

 **leks:  
** hi

 **luka:  
** ur literally in the next room  
why are you saying hi to me

 **leks:  
** i'm being nice

 **luka:  
** weird  
but ok

 **marinara:  
** it's called being friendly  
it's not like  
she can just ignore you here

 **luka:  
** are you sure  
?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
but doesn't mean I can't do that  
bye

 **adrikins:  
** hello!  
it's very nice to meet you!

 **ninny:  
** smooth

 **luka:  
** hello?

 **ninny:  
** oh  
right  
hi

 **luka:  
** hi

 **ninny:  
** im nino

 **luka:  
** yeah  
you told me that before  
?

 **ninny:  
** im making a show for the children  
play along

 **luka:  
** ok  
hello Im luka

 **adrikins:  
** hello!

 **luka:  
** youve said that

 **adrikins:  
** i'm saying it again!  
it's nice to finally meet you!

 **luka:  
** and that

 **marinara:  
** that's my boyfriend

 **luka:  
** Im your best friend

 **marinara:  
** fuck off  
you know I meant adrien

 **luka:  
** so  
this is the famous adrien

 **leks:  
** ye  
he's like a puppy

 **luka:  
** cute

 **adrikins:  
** thanks!  
i'm taking that as a compliment

 **luka:  
** thanks for the invite

 **marinara:  
** you wormed your way in here  
you're not welcome

 **luka:  
** aw thanks

 **marinara:  
** die

 **luka:  
** thats also cute

 **adrikins:  
** i agree!

 **leks:  
** ew  
he actually means that

 **luka:  
** so do I  
ur also cute leka

 **ninny:  
** le...ka...

 **marinara:  
** who's cute now  
huh

 **leks:  
** fk off

 **luka:  
** dont tell me  
do you all really type leks

 **marinara:  
** no  
we're not lazy and type out juleka

 **luka:  
** is it really laziness  
or is it love

 **marinara:  
** maybe both

 **luka:  
** fair

 **ninny:  
** mari  
i thought you were gonna ignore him

 **marinara:  
** my madness lasted two seconds

 **luka:  
** whos the loser now

 **marinara:  
** I know where you live

 **luka:  
** yeah  
and you have for over a decade  
but Im still alive

 **marinara:  
** not for long

 **luka:  
** spooky  
I dare you

 **marinara:  
** I'll come over  
and eat your food

 **luka:  
** I mean  
my mom would like that

 **ninny:  
** can you tell us embarrassing mari stories  
juleka's too nice

 **leks:  
** wat

 **marinara:  
** juleka understands the meaning of privacy  
unlike you guys

 **adrikins:  
** i don't know what you mean  
i've never done anything wrong in my life

 **ninny:  
** dude  
you sent us a picture of your cat's shit this morning

 **adrikins:  
** he missed the litter tray?

 **leks:  
** good for him

 **adrikins:  
** he's never done that before!  
i needed to defend him beforehand  
so you don't come round and see it  
and judge him  
it was an accident, ok?

 **marinara:  
** is it really an accident  
if it happens again in the future

 **leks:  
** a planned accident

 **luka:  
** thats your nickname

 **leks:  
** stop

 **marinara:  
** oversharing is our way of life

 **adrikins:  
** overshare what chloe's doing right now

 **marinara:  
** nice try  
but I'd never betray her like that

 **luka:  
** which one is she again  
its hard to keep track of ur friends  
when you give them all weird nicknames

 **ninny:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** shut  
up

 **luka:  
** what  
its true  
?

 **marinara:  
** you're here to embarrass juleka  
not me?

 **luka:  
** I can do both  
people love a multitasker

 **adrikins:  
**!  
yes!

 **luka:  
** I am a peddler of embarrassing stories  
would you like to see my wares

 **ninny:  
** fuck yes

 **leks:  
** can u at least do mari first

 **luka:  
** I can do that  
but only since shes younger

 **marinara:  
**?  
be nice to the baby?

 **luka:  
** nino  
you met mari first  
right  
?

 **ninny:  
** yeah

 **luka:  
** she called you asshole for like  
two weeks

 **marinara:  
** oh my god

 **luka:  
** then it turned into fkboy

 **adrikins:  
** and then what?  
what's the final evolution?

 **luka:  
** its still fkboy

 **ninny:  
** am i a nice fkboy at least

 **marinara:  
** look  
names are hard to remember  
ok?  
you do not get to judge me  
oh my god  
why is this happening

 **luka:  
** yeah thats true  
its cute though  
until you accidentally say their nickname to their face  
when its mildly offensive

 **marinara:  
** go away

 **luka:  
** you cant get rid of me now  
Ive infiltrated my way in

 **leks:  
** u befriended a dude u paid  
does it really count

 **luka:  
** I wasnt paying him to be my friend now  
was I

 **marinara:  
** idk  
are you sure you didn't

 **luka:  
** Im  
pretty sure

 **leks:  
**? **  
**he's not here to back up that claim  
so  
u bribed him

 **luka:  
** thanks

 **marinara:  
** it's okay  
we understand why you did it

 **leks:  
** it's rough being lonely  
huh

 **marinara:  
** friends are hard for you  
huh

 **luka:  
** teaming up on here  
isnt cool

 **marinara:  
** what's that  
can't hear you over you revealing  
my nickname for nino?

 **ninny:  
** if it helps  
i found it funny

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
glad you enjoy my embarrassment

 **adrikins:  
** can we know more?

 **luka:  
** dunno  
Im being bullied right now  
might have to limit myself to a single secret a day

 **marinara:  
** log on once a day

 **luka:  
** I mean  
yeah  
I can do that

 **marinara:  
** I was trying to be a dick

 **leks:  
** u get a one for effort

 **marinara:  
** fuck you?

 **leks:  
**?

 **marinara:  
** I'm offended by your score  
I deserve a three  
at least

 **leks:  
** ur insults are getting stale  
heard em all before

 **luka:  
** been using them for years  
better get some new ones

 **marinara:  
** but that requires effort

 **leks:  
** that's why u got a one  
loser

 **marinara:  
** now  
I understand how it feels to be ganged up on  
it's terrible

 **ninny:  
** its about time you understood my suffering

 **adrikins:  
** nino!  
be quiet!

 **ninny:  
** let me interrupt their bonding  
they need to know my feelings

 **marinara:  
** do we though...

 **leks:  
** no

 **luka:  
** go on fkboy  
tell me ur feelings

 **ninny:  
** ok  
well  
my elbow hurts a little  
since i hit my desk just now

 **luka:  
** thats sad

 **ninny:  
** right?

 **leks:  
** ur sad

 **marinara:  
** right!

 **adrikins:  
** bonding  
!

 **marinara:  
** gross

 **leks:  
** gross

 **marinara:  
**!  
beat you

 **leks:  
** are u five

 **marinara:  
** yeah

 **ninny:  
** how was five year old mari

 **luka:  
** dunno  
she didnt exist for me

 **marinara:  
** fucking rude  
we've been through this  
I didn't just start to exist when we met

 **luka:  
**? **  
**are you sure  
because Im not seeing any proof

 **marinara:  
** fuck off

 **leks:  
** we weren't in same class until we were like  
eight

 **marinara:  
** go away

 **leks:  
** that's all ur getting from me

 **ninny:  
** ill take it  
thank you, juleka

 **leks:  
** ur welcome

 **marinara:  
** you're not welcome  
please leave

 **leks:  
** ok

 **juleka has left the chat**

 **marinara:  
** dlgdfhdf

 **luka:  
** shes laughing

 **adrikins:  
** a spy!

 **luka:  
** is it really spying  
when shes in my room

 **ninny:  
** and you were  
typing to each other

 **luka:  
** well  
she came in after I said she was in another room  
it just made it weirder

 **adrikins:  
** were you facing the same direction

 **luka:  
** she was on my bed  
so not really  
no

 **marinara:  
** you  
really don't need to go into this much detail

 **adrikins:  
** oh!  
is it weird i know that angle  
because i watch your stream?

 **ninny:  
** yes

 **marinara:  
** a bit

 **adrikins:  
** forbidden knowledge...

 **ninny:  
** tell us more

 **adrikins:  
** i  
can't think  
i'm bad on the spot

 **luka:  
** not that good at stalking me huh

 **adrikins:  
** i'll try better!

 **luka:  
** good luck

 **adrikins:**  
thank you  
it means a lot that you support me!

 **luka:  
** I wish you the best in ur life

 **marinara:  
** you just used  
you and ur in the same sentence

 **luka:  
** and I have for years  
you cant change me mari

 **marinara:  
** I  
can try...

 **luka:  
** good luck

 **ninny:  
** that one sounded more sarcastic than the last

 **luka:  
**?  
me  
sarcastic

never

-x-

 **private chat: luka and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** like  
I am very glad you're here  
but I still don't get why  
but ok  
please stay forever

 **luka:  
** mixed signals

 **marinara:  
** they're nice  
I hope you like them

 **luka:  
** ya  
if you like them so much  
Im sure I will

 **marinara:  
** ok  
cool

 **luka:  
** cool

 **marinara:  
** cool

 **luka:  
** cool

 **marinara:  
** stop

 **luka:  
**?  
cool


	25. 25

**AN:** Previously: Nath was on Mari's stream, Chloé went out to dinner without telling Adrien who with, and Luka joined the chat and told embarrassing stories about Marinette. There's now also a re-telling of chapters one to twenty-two as a one-shot from Marinette's POV called _Mort de Rire_.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** that's it  
he's dead to me

 **adrikins:  
** mari...

 **marinara:  
** that's more times  
than I can count on my hand now  
it's on purpose

 **adrikins:  
** he loves you

 **marinara:  
** no.

 **adrikins:  
** pls  
give him another chance

 **marinara:  
** plagg has betrayed me for the last time

 **adrikins:  
** he's not breaking the skin!  
he's just  
friendly

 **marinara:  
** friendly is not gnawing on my head for a minute straight  
more than once?

 **adrikins:  
** gnawing is affection

 **marinara:  
**?  
are you gonna start biting me?

 **adrikins:  
** i mean  
i could?  
but it's a bit soon don't you think

 **marinara:  
** …  
shut up

 **adrikins:  
** i didn't know you felt this way about me?

 **marinara:  
** that I  
want you to bite me?

 **adrikins:  
** yes  
it's happening so fast...  
how will i cope

 **marinara:  
** we're dating

 **adrikins:  
** are we

 **marinara:  
** idk  
are we

 **adrikins:  
** i thought we were just bros  
goofing around?

 **marinara:  
** you're the only goof here

 **adrikins:  
** i'm  
taking that as a compliment!

 **marinara:  
** sure, you do that  
that's fine

 **adrikins:  
** are you saying  
you don't want to goof around with me?

 **marinara:  
** that's a bit fast  
don't you think?

 **adrikins:  
** you're right  
we need to work up to holding hands first!

 **marinara:  
** you've held my hand

 **adrikins:  
** wrong  
you dreamt that

 **marinara:  
** you think you're in my dreams?  
please

 **adrikins:  
** sorry  
am i overestimating myself here?

 **marinara:  
** extremely  
you're in my nightmares

 **adrikins:  
** where something bad happens to me?  
or  
am i the bad thing  
oh my god am i the bad thing marinette?

 **marinara:  
** maybe

 **adrikins:  
** maybe?

 **marinara:  
** it depends on whether you bully me or not

 **adrikins:  
** i would never!  
bully you!

 **marinara:  
** maybe not  
but your cat does

 **adrikins:  
** don't you bring him into this

 **marinara:  
** I'm terrified of him  
I wait in fear at yours  
scared of him coming around the corner  
pouncing on me

 **adrikins:  
** he's a good boy!

 **marinara:  
** he tried to eat my shoelace

 **adrikins:  
** it was a nice shoelace

 **marinara:  
** was?  
past tense?

 **adrikins:  
** it  
has bite marks now

 **marinara:  
** you're right

 **adrikins:  
** i usually am!

 **marinara:  
** anyway  
I like your cat but he's also a menace

 **adrikins:  
** as he should be!  
he's got character

 **marinara:  
** a lot of it

 **adrikins:  
** i think he'd be boring  
if he was fat

 **marinara:  
** what

 **adrikins:  
** maybe?  
wouldn't it be harder to do things  
with extra weight on him

 **marinara:  
** I  
don't know?  
cats are a mystery to me

 **adrikins:  
** let's  
not find out

 **marinara:  
** ok  
deal

 **adrikins:  
** the vet says he's average weight  
he's okay

 **marinara:  
** you  
asked the vet?

 **adrikins:  
** you don't know what goes on in there  
okay!  
you don't know!

 **marinara:  
** what  
does this mean

 **adrikins:  
** it means  
he acts like an angel there!  
they all think he's so well behaved  
but they  
don't know

 **marinara:  
** so  
he's evil

 **adrikins:  
** how dare you  
only i can call him evil

 **marinara:  
** okay, okay  
he's not evil

 **adrikins:  
** thank you

 **marinara:  
** but he does bite me  
so can i call him evil now?

 **adrikins:  
** you can only call him positive things!

 **marinara:  
** a real angel

 **adrikins:  
** i can sense your sarcasm!  
and i don't like it!

 **marinara:  
** but I like you  
wanna goof around?

 **adrikins:  
** …  
what's in it for me

 **marinara:  
** me

 **adrikins:  
** tempting  
but what else?

 **marinara:  
** me again

 **adrikins:  
** ok  
i'm sold

 **marinara:  
**...good

 **adrikins:  
** when's the goofing taking place

 **marinara:  
** this just sounds like  
you're awkwardly asking me on a date

 **adrikins:  
** maybe i am  
got a problem with that?

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
aggressive

 **adrikins:  
** are you saying i'm second to you?

 **marinara:  
** calm down, child

 **adrikins:  
** you  
can't call me a child then go on a date with me

 **marinara:  
** watch me

 **adrikins:  
** pls no

 **marinara:  
** too late  
it's date time

 **adrikins:  
** but i'm a child

 **marinara:  
** maybe I am too  
we'll be good together

 **adrikins:  
** i'm too young to understand love

 **marinara:  
** so you don't love plagg?  
wow, adrien  
wow

 **adrikins:  
** what  
no!

 **marinara:  
** no?  
that poor cat

 **adrikins:  
** that's not what i meant!  
don't twist my words!

 **marinara:  
** I'm not twisting anything  
it's written  
right there  
by you

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** you're so mean to him  
poor poor plagg

 **adrikins:  
** i'm breaking up with you

 **marinara:  
** no

 **adrikins:  
** what do you mean  
no?

 **marinara:  
** I don't like that response  
change it

 **adrikins:  
** that's  
not how this works?

 **marinara:  
** it is now

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** yes

 **adrikins:  
** no?

 **marinara:  
** do you wanna go on that date tomorrow

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
yes?  
i'm free after

 **marinara:  
** after one isn't it

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
yes  
you're good at this

 **marinara:  
** you sent me a screenshot of your schedule

 **adrikins:  
** i was impressed then  
i thought you memorised it

 **marinara:  
** I'm saving my memory for better things

 **adrikins:  
** like my face

 **marinara:  
** modest

 **adrikins:  
** it's understandable

 **marinara:  
** you've been talking to chloé too much

 **adrikins:  
** or not enough  
because  
she still won't tell me where she went the other night?

 **marinara:  
** sdlkgjdh  
still?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!

 **marinara:  
** she went out for dinner with her mom

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
really?

 **marinara:  
** yeah

 **adrikins:  
** that's the big secret?

 **marinara:  
** idk  
she said she never sees her mom  
and that you'd be weird about it  
or something  
so there we go

 **adrikins:  
** me?  
weird?  
how dare she

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
you can be pretty weird  
I get it

 **adrikins:  
** you're supposed to be on my side here!

 **marinara:  
** I am  
but  
I've known chloé longer  
therefore  
I'm on her side

 **adrikins:  
** that's not right!

 **marinara:  
** I don't make the rules  
just don't bring it up with her, I guess  
she's being pretty  
odd about talking about it

 **adrikins:  
** she still told you  
not me?

 **marinara:  
** idk  
maybe it was easier since I don't know the whole history  
or something  
she just said that she's not close with her  
that's it

 **adrikins:  
** divorced

 **marinara:  
** rip

 **adrikins:  
** not deceased?

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
saying rip to the relationship

 **adrikins:  
** don't rip us

 **marinara:  
** never

 **adrikins:  
** ok  
i'll forgive you this one  
but if she comes to you again  
i'm sorry but  
i'll have to shank you

 **marinara:  
** where  
are you getting a shank from?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm sure i can get one  
from someone here!

 **marinara:  
** I feel like  
you'd be in more danger in this scenario

 **adrikins:  
** what  
why?

 **marinara:  
** you're more likely to get stabbed  
than actually shank me

 **adrikins:  
** maybe someone will understand!

 **marinara:  
** and pity you enough  
to give you a weapon?

 **adrikins:  
** hey  
i'm dangerous enough already!

 **marinara:  
** …  
are you

 **adrikins:  
** other than my good looks

 **marinara:  
** right

 **adrikins:  
** i promise i'm strong

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
sure you are

 **adrikins:  
** you don't sound very convinced?  
do you need a  
demonstration

 **marinara:  
** what are you gonna do  
lift plagg?

 **adrikins:  
** with one hand

 **marinara:  
** wowie

 **adrikins:  
** right?

 **marinara:  
** I'm swooning

 **adrikins:  
** that's all i want

 **marinara:  
** you sure know how to impress me

 **adrikins:  
** why else would you be with me?  
definitely not my sense of humour

 **marinara:  
** at least you're being honest now

 **adrikins:  
** are you  
bullying me?

 **marinara:  
** no way  
we're just being bros

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
yes  
you're right

-x-

 **group chat: nath's the chosen one  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Thani:  
** I'm not saying that you're wrong.  
I just don't agree.

 **luka:  
** ya but  
why

 **Thani:**  
I don't like the sound of it, that's all.

 **luka:  
** lame

 **Thani:  
** Me?

 **luka:  
** yeah u  
and ur music taste  
I dont understand you

 **Thani:  
** And you think I understand you?  
You're weird.

 **marinara:  
** what the hell  
are you two talking about

 **luka:  
** go away

 **marinara:  
** that's not it

 **Thani:  
** Your singing.

 **marinara:  
** you've  
never heard me sing

 **Thani:  
** You've done it on stream before.

 **marinara:  
** how about  
stop stalking me  
nathaniel

 **Thani:  
** Are you saying my full name to intimidate me?

 **marinara:  
** is it working

 **Thani:  
** It makes me all tingly inside.

 **luka:  
** that sure sounds like its working  
good job mari

 **marinara:  
** I don't deserve this treatment  
I came here to have a good time  
and all I get instead is  
you two

 **Thani:  
** What more could you ever want?

 **marinara:  
** not you  
?

 **Thani:  
** Wrong.

 **luka:  
** mari  
tell nath he sucks

 **marinara:  
** nath already knows he sucks

 **Thani:  
** She tells me that a lot.

 **luka:  
** ok  
thats a lot about ur relationship  
that I didnt want to know

 **marinara:  
** do you want to feel my first

 **luka:  
** is that  
to me or nath  
?

 **marinara:  
** that's it  
I'm punching you

 **luka:  
** cool

 **Thani:  
** Try not to enjoy it too much.

 **luka:  
** but it makes me all tingly  
dont you want that for me  
?

 **Thani:  
** You're right.  
We all deserve to be tingly from Marinette.

 **marinara:  
** die

 **luka:  
** ur so charming

 **marinara:  
** that's why I have a boyfriend  
and you don't

 **luka:  
** Im married to my farm

 **marinara:  
** that's the only hoe in your life huh

 **luka:  
** sadly

 **Thani:  
** You poor thing.

 **luka:  
** pity me

 **marinara:  
** no  
next you'll be asking us to tuck you into bed  
it's a slippery slope

 **Thani:  
** I don't think that's how that works, Marinette.

 **marinara:  
** you don't know anything  
be quiet

 **Thani:  
** Sorry.

 **marinara:  
** not forgiven  
know better next time

 **luka:  
** ur angry today

 **marinara:  
** furious

 **Thani:  
** Is it because I'm bonding with Luka?  
I'm trying to steal him from you.

 **marinara:  
** yes  
it makes me fiery

 **luka:  
** we can tell

 **Thani:  
** You can have him back.  
We have nothing in common.

 **marinara:  
** you both love me  
that's enough

 **luka:  
** apparently not  
if Im being sold off

 **Thani:  
** You can have him for free.

 **luka:  
** am I not worth  
anything  
to you nath

 **Thani:  
** Maybe a little bit.  
Your money does help me.

 **luka:  
** so if I commission u again  
I can be ur friend  
?

 **Thani:  
** Yes.

 **luka:  
** ok  
can u wait a few days

 **Thani:  
** Sure.

 **luka:  
** cool  
Ill think of something good then

 **marinara:  
**?

 **Thani:  
** Do you mind?  
We're bonding.

 **marinara:  
** that was more like bribing  
but ok

 **Thani:  
** Same thing.  
It's okay to be jealous, Marinette.

 **marinara:  
** jealous is putting it lightly  
pay me

 **luka:  
** and what will u do for me

 **marinara:  
** I'll  
tuck you in at night

 **Thani:  
**...That's a tempting offer.  
Is it open for me?

 **marinara:  
** absolutely  
I'll make a job of it  
if there's enough interest

 **Thani:  
** I'll start saving.

 **marinara:  
** bed time stories are included  
but they might not be pg

 **luka:  
** …  
u gonna read me smut to sleep?

 **marinara:  
** what  
no

 **Thani:  
** Murder.

 **marinara:  
** yes  
pleasant dreams knowing enemies are dead  
right

 **luka:  
** what did ur parents read you

 **marinara:  
** the wrong things, clearly  
I know better now

 **Thani:  
** I don't think you know anything, actually.

 **marinara:  
** that's mean...

 **luka:  
** but true

 **marinara:  
** don't gang up on me  
this isn't what I want

 **luka:  
** pay me

 **marinara:  
** to  
not bully me  
?

 **luka:  
** ya

 **marinara:  
** isn't that  
bullying though?  
like  
give me your lunch money

 **Thani:  
** Except it's give me a little bit of money.

 **luka:  
** little

Im going big or going home

 **marinara:  
** you're at home

 **luka:  
** fk

 **marinara:  
** loser

 **Thani:  
** You've fucked it up now.

 **marinara:  
** neither of you are getting my money  
instead  
I'm leaving

 **luka:  
** what  
already

 **marinara:  
** I have better things to do  
than talk to you too

 **Thani:  
** You're seeing Adrien, aren't you?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
priorities

 **luka:  
** I feel so unloved

 **marinara:  
** xo

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **leks:**  
don't say  
a fking word

 **marinara:  
** hm

 **leks:  
** pls

 **marinara:  
** hm...

 **leks:  
** mari  
u love me don't u

 **marinara:  
** debatable

 **leks:  
** pls  
u and adrien are the only ones who know  
sweet talk him for me

 **marinara:  
** adrien is out of my control

 **leks:  
** bribe him

 **marinara:  
** that's not a healthy relationship

 **leks:  
** nothing about u is healthy

 **marinara:  
** that's it  
I'm telling luka

 **leks:  
** pls

 **marinara:  
** …  
it's ok  
he text me earlier saying his coffee machine broke  
you're in the clear

 **leks:  
** are u sure

 **marinara:  
** unless adrien mentions it

 **leks:  
** pls

 **marinara:  
** just buy him something sweet  
and he'll forgive you

 **leks:  
** i'm poor

 **marinara:  
** bitch me too

 **leks:  
** …  
don't even compare us

 **marinara:  
** rude

 **leks:  
** can u save me some cake or something tomorrow

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
you wanna come pick it up  
or  
want me to bring it round

 **leks:  
** o  
round  
?

 **marinara:  
** can I stay for food then

 **leks:  
** ye  
i'll tell mom

 **marinara:  
** cool

-x-

 **group chat: luka's sad now  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Alyarr:  
** my guy  
shut the fuck up

 **marinara:  
** angry  
who you angry at

 **ninny:  
** me

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** adrien!

 **ninny:  
** excuse me  
this is about me right now  
can you fuck off

 **marinara:  
** but  
isn't luka sad

 **ninny:  
** his sadness was this morning  
its my time now

 **marinara:  
** okay  
my bad

 **Alyarr:  
** he doesn't want to watch a movie with me

 **marinara:  
** what a loser

 **ninny:  
** you  
dont even know which one?

 **marinara:  
** yeah but  
it's with alya  
I'd watch anything with you, alya

 **Alyarr:  
** do you wanna watch it with me tonight

 **marinara:  
** sure  
it's a date

 **adrikins:  
** you're streaming tonight!

 **marinara:  
** is late good for you

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah  
I have no classes tomorrow  
I can do that

 **marinara:  
** okay  
it's a date

 **Alyarr:  
** you're the best

 **ninny:  
** youll regret it  
im telling you now

 **marinara:  
** don't tell me anything  
I don't trust you

 **ninny:  
** what  
why  
what did i do

 **Alyarr:  
** existed

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** yeha  
that

 **ninny:  
** yeha

 **marinara:  
** pardon  
this is about you  
not me

 **Alyarr:  
** can't argue about that  
sorry

 **ninny:  
** can it not be about me any more  
pls

 **marinara:  
** no  
we're sticking to what I've been told  
and that's  
the world revolving around you right now

 **adrikins:  
** are you flirting with him now  
it sure sounds like it

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
I could be

 **ninny:  
** will you have a date with me tonight instead of alya

 **marinara:  
** yes

 **Alyarr:  
** hang on

 **marinara:  
** it's all about you, nino

 **ninny:  
** do you  
wanna play later

 **marinara:  
** I have like  
an hour before dinner if you wanna play now

 **ninny:  
** hell yeah

 **marinara:  
** there  
now I can still date alya later

 **Alyarr:  
** woo

 **marinara:  
** is this what being a playboy feels like  
it's exhausting

 **adrikins:  
** it hasn't  
even been two minutes?

 **marinara:  
** yes  
imagine my tiredness  
how do people do this  
?

 **adrikins:  
** at least i don't have to worry about you cheating on me?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
that seems stressful as hell  
it's just not meant for me

 **adrikins:  
** good?

 **Alyarr:  
** I can't even manage my classes  
how would I be able to date two people at once

 **marinara:  
** wouldn't it be easier online  
unless  
you're easily distracted

 **ninny:  
** pls dont compare which is easier  
it makes me feel  
bad

 **marinara:  
** sorry, nino  
you can relax  
no one's cheating on you here

 **ninny:  
** thanks

 **adrikins:  
** should i be worried  
?

 **marinara:  
** always

 **Alyarr:  
** I can't help but notice  
that you don't care about luka's sadness

 **marinara:  
**?  
because he's told me already  
I'm first, losers

 **adrikins:  
** are you

 **marinara:  
** always  
I'm all knowing

 **ninny:  
** mari  
will i win the lottery

 **marinara:  
** alya is the lottery

 **Alyarr:  
** nice

 **marinara:  
** luka texts me like  
every morning

 **adrikins:  
** and when you're walking home

 **marinara:  
** salty

 **adrikins:  
** a bit!  
i want to talk to you

 **marinara:  
** I talk to you all the time

 **adrikins:  
** but not when you're walking home

 **marinara:  
** you're very fixated on this  
I'm sorry, it's the way of the world  
nothing will change this

 **Alyarr:  
** rip

 **adrikins:  
** what if i cry

 **marinara:  
** then I'll laugh

 **adrikins:  
** sad

 **ninny:  
** hey  
sadness is mine  
you stop that

 **adrikins:  
** sorry!

 **ninny:  
** thanks

 **adrikins:  
** what if i  
marry luka on his farm game

 **marinara:  
** farm game

 **adrikins:  
** yeah  
i wanna be a farmer's wife!  
I wanna feed chickens!

 **marinara:  
** I don't think he'll want you  
but you can try

 **ninny:  
** wait  
i didnt realise that position was open

 **marinara:  
** what  
as luka's wife?

 **Alyarr:  
** farm wife  
get it right

 **marinara:  
** it's not open

 **adrikins:  
** maybe he'll open it for me!

 **marinara:  
** he'll be happy with anyone  
that wants to play with him

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **marinara:  
** you're welcome to try

 **ninny:  
** but i hate farming

 **marinara:  
** you're out  
sorry

 **ninny:  
** but i wanna be his wife

 **marinara:  
** farm wife only

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm bad at farming  
I'm out

 **adrikins:  
** yes  
the competition is dwindling

 **marinara:  
** …

 **adrikins:  
** chloe likes farms

 **marinara:  
** does she now

 **adrikins:  
** this knowledge is forbidden for her  
pls  
i can't compete with her...

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
you could try

 **adrikins:  
** she gets  
really obsessed with games  
she'll beat me

 **marinara:  
** is there really a winner  
for farming

 **adrikins:  
** yes?  
it's buying stuff

 **marinara:  
** idk  
seems boring

 **adrikins:  
** you're rude!

 **marinara:  
** no  
you are  
you're the one talking about trying to marry luka

 **adrikins:  
** maybe he'll just let me have a little  
house on his farm!  
like a permanent sleepover

 **marinara:  
** I sure hope not

 **adrikins:  
** i'll never play with you again  
i'll be busy on the farm

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah that's not lasting long

 **adrikins:  
** shut up

 **Alyarr:  
** what  
you prefer watching shit  
I know this already

 **adrikins:  
** can you unknow this?

 **marinara:  
** you tell us like  
everything  
it's not our fault

 **adrikins:  
** lies!

 **ninny:  
** bro  
you are an oversharer  
im sorry

 **adrikins:  
** nino...  
how could you...

 **ninny:  
** gotta be honest here  
you did send me a picture of plaggs shit  
like  
two days ago

 **adrikins:  
** stop bringing that up to spite me!

 **ninny:  
** its a good example  
sry

 **marinara:  
** he's right

 **adrikins:  
** that's it  
i'm never telling you guys anything  
ever again!

 **Alyarr:  
** mm  
good luck

 **marinara:  
** ok

 **adrikins:  
** ever!

 **marinara:  
** adrien

 **adrikins:  
** what do you want

 **marinara:  
** I'm sorry for bullying you  
I'm sure luka will love you to be his wife

 **adrikins:  
** he'd be very lucky!

 **ninny:  
** ok  
bit stuck up

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **Alyarr:  
** let him be confident  
it's refreshing

 **marinara:  
** is that the right word

 **Alyarr:  
** maybe

 **adrikins:  
** i'm marriage material

 **marinara:  
** you're married to your cat

 **adrikins:  
** see  
i'm reliable  
look at how consistently i love him

 **ninny:  
** true  
will you ever love me that much

 **adrikins:  
** i'll think about it...

 **marinara:  
** what about me

 **adrikins:  
** no

 **marinara:  
**?

 **adrikins:  
** he's my number one  
just like  
luka is for calling you on your way home

 **marinara:  
** …  
oh my god  
get over it

 **adrikins:  
** i will when i marry him

 **Alyarr:  
** petty


	26. 26

**AN:** Previously: Mari went on a date with Adrien, Juleka broke Luka's coffee machine, and Adrien decided he wanted to be Luka's farm wife. Also, happy birthday to this story.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: chloesterol and marinara**

 **chloesterol:  
** listen

 **marinara:  
** no

 **chloesterol:  
** im just saying  
its a good idea

 **marinara:  
** no, it's not  
it's a terrible one

 **chloesterol:  
** im branching out

 **marinara:  
** you're going where you're not welcome

 **chloesterol:  
** u dont get to decide that  
bitch

 **marinara:  
** go away

 **chloesterol:  
** no  
come over here

 **marinara:  
** I don't want to

 **chloesterol:  
** you dont get a choice

 **marinara:  
**?  
excuse you  
says who

 **chloesterol:  
** me  
hurry up

 **marinara:  
** I'm  
in my pyjamas

 **chloesterol:  
** come over in pyjamas

 **marinara:  
** and let you film me in them?  
no

 **chloesterol:  
** then get dressed  
its not fucking hard

 **marinara:  
** you're going to call my outfit ugly

 **chloesterol:  
** if you didnt buy it with me  
then ye

 **marinara:  
** stop bullying me

 **chloesterol:  
** thats why ur coming over  
ill make u fabulous

 **marinara:  
** you'll make me look like it's halloween

 **chloesterol:  
** do u wanna be slutty then

 **marinara:  
** …  
I meant like a clown, but okay

 **chloesterol:  
** slutty clown

 **marinara:  
** does it have to be me  
can't you convince adrien to do this

 **chloesterol:  
** adriens not as big as u  
i want a good impact

 **marinara:  
** that's  
really not reassuring that you like me at all

 **chloesterol:  
** ur tolerable

 **marinara:  
** thanks?

 **chloesterol:  
** are u coming over then

 **marinara:  
** give me like  
thirty minutes?

 **chloesterol:  
** ok  
ill order food

 **marinara:  
** oh, hell yeah  
why didn't you mention that before?

 **chloesterol:  
** i didnt think u were ruled by ur stomach

 **marinara:  
** food is a good bribe  
feed me and I'll go anywhere with you

 **chloesterol:  
** does it matter how good the food is

 **marinara:  
** as if you'd get anything but the expensive stuff  
snob

 **chloesterol:  
** i buy ur stuff

 **marinara:  
** hey hey  
hey  
are you calling my family's  
store  
cheap?

 **chloesterol:  
** na  
its like average

 **marinara:  
** how dare you?

 **chloesterol:  
** in price idiot  
u make good milkshakes

 **marinara:  
** great  
if you said that they're bad  
I'd fucking end you

 **chloesterol:  
** are u flirting with me

 **marinara:  
** maybe

 **chloesterol:  
** do that on camera  
i want a good video

 **marinara:  
** yeah, yeah  
but I'm not sure how many views you'll get  
for real  
I don't really post there

 **chloesterol:  
** im using u for ur fame

 **marinara:  
** I figured that out long ago

 **chloesterol:  
** youll finally have nice makeup

 **marinara:  
** this food better be good

 **chloesterol:  
** come over and find out

 **marinara:  
** fine  
I'll go get ready

 **chloesterol:  
** hurry up

-x-

 **group chat: chloe's a beauty guru now  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **Alyarr:  
** there she is

 **marinara:  
** what do you want from me  
leave me alone

 **adrikins:  
** gasp  
mari!  
you've returned to us!

 **marinara:  
** you spoke to me like  
ten minutes ago

 **adrikins:  
** that's different  
this is typing now

 **marinara:  
** is it really that different

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
i can say good morning twice now  
so  
good morning!

 **marinara:  
** morning

 **ninny:  
** its past noon

 **marinara:  
** fk off

 **Alyarr:  
** sassy  
how'd last night go?

 **marinara:  
** I'm not giving you any spoilers  
you'll have to watch the video like everyone else

 **adrikins:  
** it was cute!

 **Alyarr:  
**?  
but he got to see it  
what is this favourtism

 **marinara:  
** I'm sorry  
are you tucking me in at night?  
no  
you are not

 **ninny:  
** why is he tucking you in

 **marinara:  
** okay  
maybe he hasn't done that  
but adrien did kiss my forehead before

 **adrikins:  
** lgdskjdh

 **marinara:  
** the world must know

 **adrikins:  
** but i'm shy!

 **Alyarr:  
** I'd ask you to tell me more  
but  
I also want to keep my innocent image of adrien

 **marinara:  
** he's cute  
it's ok

 **ninny:  
** inappropriate

 **marinara:  
** surprised you could spell that

 **ninny:  
** okay  
thats it  
do you want to fight mari  
because ill do it

 **marinara:  
** yeah

 **ninny:  
** give me a time and a place

 **marinara:  
** right now

 **ninny:  
** but its sunday  
i dont want to leave my house

 **marinara:  
** same  
but i have to

 **ninny:  
** have to?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
having dinner with my parents later

 **adrikins:  
** you've got a couple of hours!  
a while for your pyjamas

 **marinara:  
** I wish I could stay in them forever  
but alas  
I cannot

 **adrikins:  
** they'll miss you too!

 **Alyarr:  
** rip  
you see your parents like  
daily  
but you still go to theirs for dinner

 **marinara:  
** yeah?

 **Alyarr:  
** do you not  
like  
get fed up with them

 **marinara:  
** oh  
not really?  
I mean  
I see them at work, yeah  
but it's not like they're annoying there?  
and they've always been pretty nice

 **ninny:  
** i have like  
a phonecall a week with mine  
and they dont live that far away

 **Alyarr:  
** they're paying for that sweet flat for you though

 **ninny:  
** true that

 **adrikins:  
** can i move in

 **ninny:  
** no pets allowed

 **adrikins:  
** why  
do you know that?

 **ninny:  
** i wanted a friend ok?  
you make plagg out to be like  
the light of your life  
i wanted that too

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not saying you can coparent him  
but you can be his friend

 **ninny:  
** little dudes already my friend  
lets be honest here  
he loves me

 **adrikins:  
** he loves anyone that gives him attention!

 **marinara:  
** little bastard

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!

 **marinara:  
** what  
you call him that too

 **adrikins:  
** i can't tell if there's affection in your tone  
when you're typing!

 **marinara:  
** always

 **adrikins:  
** but was that sarcasm

 **marinara:  
** never  
I do like that little dude  
wouldn't say it's quite love yet

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **Alyarr:  
** is it love for adrien yet

 **marinara:  
** excuse you

 **ninny:  
** do you love me yet alya  
am i worthy

 **Alyarr:  
** no

 **ninny:  
** i knew it...

 **Alyarr:  
** but I do love plagg  
he's cute

 **adrikins:  
** he thinks you're cute too

 **Alyarr:  
** nice  
is he single

 **adrikins:  
** he's married to my pillow right now  
sorry!  
no more room in his heart!

 **Alyarr:  
** I'll wait for him  
I want him to know that

 **adrikins:  
** he'll be pleased!

 **Alyarr:  
** I should hope so  
my love is very valuable

 **ninny:  
** says who

 **Alyarr:  
** my mom

 **marinara:  
** mother knows best

 **ninny:  
** i liked it when maris mom liked me  
can we go back to dating  
she touched my shoulder and asked how i was  
it was so nice

 **marinara:  
** stop fantasising about my mom?

 **ninny:  
** it was reminiscing  
get it right

 **marinara:  
** stop that too

 **ninny:  
** now im even sadder

 **marinara:  
** good  
pls suffer

 **ninny:  
** im already suffering

 **Alyarr:  
** are you thirteen  
stop being so dramatic

 **ninny:  
** i cant help it  
im bored

 **adrikins:  
** do something fun!  
wait  
are you calling us boring

nino!

 **ninny:  
** im bored

 **adrikins:  
** that's so mean!

 **ninny:  
** do something fun then  
dance for me  
monkey

 **marinara:  
** I wish I could kick you

 **ninny:  
** i mean  
you could always come over and do that

 **marinara:  
** are you  
inviting me to yours  
just to hurt you  
?

 **ninny:  
** yeah  
amuse me

 **marinara:  
** your kinks are out of control  
this is outrageous  
alya  
what do you see in this fool

 **Alyarr:  
** webcam makes him look nice

 **marinara:  
** you can't use that excuse  
I've seen you cuddle

 **Alyarr:  
** you were drunk

 **marinara:  
** I was not

 **adrikins:  
** i've seen it too!

 **ninny:  
** hush, dude  
butting in is rude

 **adrikins:  
** oh  
sorry!

 **Alyarr:  
** you had a fever dream  
nino's just my e-boy

 **marinara:  
** oh no

 **Alyarr:  
** next he'll be making short videos  
and making a cuck of himself

 **marinara:  
** he's enough of a cuck already  
isn't he

 **ninny:  
** i resent that

 **marinara:  
** you have no say in that

 **Alyarr:  
** he's an idiot but  
I think I like that

 **adrikins:  
** think?

 **Alyarr:  
** yeah  
I'm still thinking about it  
I'll get back to you with my answer later

 **ninny:  
** wtf

 **Alyarr:  
** xo

 **marinara:  
** good luck

 **ninny:  
** when i asked for entertainment  
i didnt mean this

 **adrikins:  
** beggars cant be choosers

 **ninny:  
** i just wanted friends  
not abuse

 **marinara:  
** sorry  
no friends here

 **adrikins:  
**!  
we're more than friends!

 **marinara:  
** no, we're not

 **adrikins:  
** friends with no benefits!

 **Alyarr:  
** …  
sure  
why not

 **marinara:  
** gross

 **luka has joined the chat**

 **adrikins:  
**!  
luka!

 **luka:  
** hi

 **marinara:  
** why are you here

 **luka:  
** I felt good vibes

 **marinara:  
** shut the fuck up

 **luka:  
** ur not so good  
you should fix that

 **adrikins:  
** hello!

 **luka:  
** ya  
hey adrien  
how are u

 **adrikins:  
** i'm okay!  
i was wondering if i could  
ask you something

 **luka:  
** what  
?

 **adrikins:  
** is that  
a positive response?  
i can't tell

 **luka:  
** you havent  
asked a question yet

 **adrikins:  
** i'm  
working up to it!

 **marinara:  
** …

 **Alyarr:  
** I believe in you dude  
you've got this

 **marinara:  
** really

 **adrikins:  
** so!

 **luka:  
**?

 **Alyarr:  
** bksdgjdh

 **marinara:  
** he wants to know  
if you'll marry him

 **luka:  
** can we go on a date first

 **marinara:  
** you're not dating my boyfriend

 **luka:  
** well he wants to marry me  
so are u sure ur relationship is good

 **marinara:  
** maybe it's an open one  
have you thought about that  
?

 **luka:  
** as if

 **marinara:  
** shut up  
you don't know me

 **luka:  
** marinette  
i know what pyjamas ur in right now

 **marinara:  
** I'm dressed

 **luka:  
** no ur not

 **Alyarr:  
** she's not

 **marinara:  
**!

 **adrikins:  
** what  
no  
i just wanted to ask  
if you like to play with me?

 **marinara:  
** not in the sexual way

 **luka:  
** o  
I dont have a smurf

 **adrikins:  
** not that game!  
i want to farm

 **luka:  
** are u leading me on  
because I want you to know  
Im fragile

 **Alyarr:  
** don't toy with the poor boy's heart

 **adrikins:  
** i want to try!  
i've never really played anything like it before  
but i saw your stream of it  
and it looks fun?  
and i don't think mari will play with me

 **luka:  
** marinette is racist to farms

 **marinara:  
** not how that word works

 **luka:  
** quiet racist

 **marinara:  
** still not

 **adrikins:  
** it is multiplayer, right?

 **luka:  
** ya  
ud want to start from the beginning  
instead of like  
joining someones whos far in though  
or itll be weird

 **adrikins:  
** ok ok

 **luka:  
** I could help u later  
if u want

 **adrikins:  
**!  
yes!  
i'd like that!

 **luka:  
** ok

 **marinara:  
** lame  
the two of you and the game

 **luka:  
** listen  
just because u died once  
doesnt mean that its bad  
it means u are

 **marinara:  
** you have absolutely no proof to back up this slander

 **ninny:  
** i wish with all of my heart  
that thats true  
pls

 **marinara:  
** fuck you

 **ninny:  
** i want you to be bad at something  
please

 **luka:  
** she cant whistle  
does that make u feel better  
?

 **ninny:  
** yes  
finally  
i have one upped you, mari  
what are you going to do now  
huh  
loser

 **marinara:  
** ignore you

 **ninny:  
** its going well already

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **group chat: chloe is now a beauty guru  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **chloesterol:  
** what up loser

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **Thani:  
** Looks like the cash cow is finally here.

 **marinara:  
** excuse you

 **Thani:  
** You got pimped out for views.  
How does it feel?

 **marinara:  
** like money

 **chloesterol:  
** as it should  
ur just salty i didnt touch ur face

 **Thani:  
** Yes, I'm devastated.  
You've caught me.

 **chloesterol:  
** maybe work on not being so weird  
and then well talk in the future

 **marinara:  
** can you  
not  
proposition the resident virgin

 **Thani:  
** No, please continue.  
Marinette just wants to keep me in a cage.

 **marinara:  
** the cave is your bedroom  
work on your commissions instead  
come on

 **Thani:  
** I had to stop taking them for a while because of you.

 **marinara:  
** shouldn't you be thanking me  
you can afford socks without holes in them now

 **Thani:  
** That pair had sentimental value, okay.  
I wore them on a special day.

 **marinara:  
** and  
what day was that

 **Thani:  
** I met you.

 **marinara:  
** you're right  
they're lucky socks

 **Thani:  
**...Sadly, I'm just joking.

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck  
that's it  
you've broken my heart

 **chloesterol:  
** i thought u didnt have a heart to break

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
because it already belongs to you  
sorry  
I need to be more clear

 **chloesterol:  
** good

 **marinara:  
** I forgot we're dating now  
sorry

 **Thani:  
** Save the flirting for the camera, you two.

 **marinara:  
** was it that good  
did it make you excited, nath?

 **Thani:  
** The face touching? Yes.

 **marinara:  
** woo

 **chloesterol:  
** i have actually  
got messages asking if ur really dating adrien  
or if its just a cover

 **marinara:  
**?  
already?

 **chloesterol:  
** ye

 **marinara:  
** your  
video's been out like  
two days

 **chloesterol:  
** ye but  
i got pics with u first

 **marinara:  
** that makes no sense

 **Thani:  
** Let's be serious, nothing on the internet does.

 **marinara:  
** you're right  
you don't make any sense, nath  
sorry

 **Thani:  
** I exist outside of the internet, you know.

 **chloesterol:  
** prove it  
pussy

 **Thani:  
** I could give you my number.  
Does that work?

 **marinara:  
** how about  
no

 **Thani:  
** Darn.

 **marinara:  
** nath

 **Thani:  
** Yes?

 **marinara:  
** you love me right

 **Thani:  
**...Why?

 **marinara:  
** hang on

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** hi

 **Thani:  
**?  
Okay, hello.  
What's up?

 **marinara:  
** I told chloé to do this before  
but I think she  
doesn't actually want to bother you?  
idk

 **Thani:  
** What?

 **marinara:  
** wants you to do a banner for her channel  
but we know you're booked  
so like  
whenever you're free  
I'll pay for it

 **Thani:  
** Could you wait a couple of weeks?  
I'm a bit behind with uni work as it is.

 **marinara:  
** yeah, sure  
don't bring it up with her, though  
I want it to be a surprise

 **Thani:  
** Can it even be a surprise if you've mentioned it before?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
doubt she expects me to get it done for her  
she did kind of call you trash

 **Thani:  
** I'm sorry, what?

 **marinara:  
** she was kidding!  
I swear  
she doesn't think you're trash  
she likes your stuff  
really jealous of all the drawings everyone else has gotten  
I promise

 **Thani:  
** Why am I trash, then?

 **marinara:  
** cause I said you were booked up  
idk  
she's chloé  
she didn't mean it

 **Thani:  
** That's not very reassuring, but okay.

 **marinara:  
** trust me

 **Thani:  
** Sadly, I do.  
I think that's my downfall.

 **marinara:  
** some would say it's your lack of soul  
but maybe

 **Thani:  
** Go away.

 **marinara:  
** okay, okay  
ciao

 **Thani:  
** Loser.

 **marinara:  
** love you too

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** i  
have a chicken!

 **marinara:  
** that's nice

 **adrikins:  
** there's even little sound effects!  
it's so cute, mari!  
why wouldn't you want to play this?  
i don't understand

 **marinara:  
** idk  
there's not much to do in them?  
I mean  
you can have a cute farm and all  
but there's barely anything to do  
it's just not for me

 **adrikins:  
** but you're cute  
and so's this!  
it should be a match made in heaven

 **marinara:  
** cuteness isn't all there is to life  
I'm sorry

 **adrikins:  
** but i care about it!  
i'm not gonna play a game if it's not cute  
that's  
boring!

 **marinara:  
** or is that vain  
does that count as vain  
if your character's only allowed to be cute?  
idk  
either way  
I don't mind being ugly as hell if the game's fun

 **adrikins:  
** it's okay  
you're cute on the inside  
always!

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
that means a lot

 **adrikins:  
** you're welcome!

 **marinara:  
** you've been playing that a few hours  
enjoying it?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!  
luka's really helping  
i actually know what i'm doing right now!

 **marinara:  
** that's good!  
if he's mean to you  
I'll happily kick his ass

 **adrikins:  
** nonooooo nonono  
he's great!  
it was a little awkward at first  
but the voice chat really helps!

 **marinara:  
** somehow  
I feel like I've been left behind

 **adrikins:  
** i've ditched you  
forever!

 **marinara:  
** eloped onto a farm  
how could this happen  
I've been ditched for some chicken

 **adrikins:  
** i've got two!  
saving up for my third  
i love them so much

 **marinara:  
** are you playing favourites?

 **adrikins:  
** i would never!  
actually  
maybe  
oh my god no!

 **marinara:  
** bad parent

 **adrikins:  
** this is why  
i'm never getting a second cat

 **marinara:  
** no?  
what if plagg gets lonely without you  
you don't want him to have a friend?

 **adrikins:  
** but it'll be hard to not play favourites!  
and he'll get jealous  
he already gets mad when i ignore him  
imagine if there was a little kitten  
cuter than him?  
he'd go mad!

 **marinara:  
** the bastard would cry

 **adrikins:  
** stop calling him that!

 **marinara:  
** cute bastard

 **adrikins:  
** better  
but not ok

 **marinara:  
** mmm  
sorry, sorry  
you really don't want another one?

 **adrikins:  
** i do want!  
but using my head  
it doesn't seem like a good idea  
i'll keep all my love for plagg

 **marinara:  
** hey  
save some for me

 **adrikins:  
** that's separate love  
i don't have the same for you!

 **marinara:  
** what the fuck

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not a furry!  
it's platonic for plagg!  
he baby!

 **marinara:  
** that's  
reassuring  
thank you for clarifying that

 **adrikins:  
** you're welcome!

 **marinara:  
** I love you not platonically too

 **adrikins:  
**!  
that is good!

 **marinara:  
** yes  
you're welcome

 **adrikins:  
** but the real question is  
do you love the two adriens in your life?

 **marinara:  
** adrien the dog has been quiet today  
it's been very peaceful

 **adrikins:  
** what a good boy!

 **marinara:  
** adrien's a girl

 **adrikins:  
** everyone can be a boy!  
boys support boys!

 **marinara:  
** true

 **adrikins:  
** i can  
almost get that chicken!

 **marinara:  
** are you or luka naming them?

 **adrikins:  
** we're taking it in turns!  
it's my turn now  
i'm excited

 **marinara:  
** please  
don't pun it

 **adrikins:  
** i would never!  
how dare you!

 **marinara:  
** mhmm  
somehow  
I don't believe you

 **adrikins:  
** that's offensive!

 **marinara:  
** you're literally making an army of chickens  
and you think I'm the rude one here

 **adrikins:  
** all they can do is lay eggs and make noises!  
and eat some grass  
what a peaceful life  
i want that life

 **marinara:  
** I'm sorry your life is so difficult  
but you have a child to take care of

 **adrikins:  
** he's  
meowing at birds right now!

 **marinara:  
** cute

 **adrikins:  
** luka can hear him!

 **marinara:  
** I hope he appreciates that  
his ears are being blessed

 **adrikins:  
** i hope so too  
he's the chosen one!

 **marinara:  
** as long as you don't marry him  
I'm happy for him

 **adrikins:  
** i am a cute girl!  
so maybe he will!

 **marinara:  
** understandable  
I would marry you too if you were always a cute girl

 **adrikins:  
** but i'm cute right now

 **marinara:  
** you pale in comparison to plagg

 **adrikins:  
** i  
can't argue with that

 **marinara:  
** he's the source of all the goodness in the world  
and I need you to know that

 **adrikins:  
** you should've seen him as a kitten!

 **marinara:  
** got any videos?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!  
but i  
have chickens to attend to first!

 **marinara:  
** oh my god  
they're more important than plagg?  
how could this happen

 **adrikins:  
** they're not!  
but luka's going in like  
ten minutes!  
so i'll find it then!

 **marinara:  
** mmm  
if you say so, traitor

 **adrikins:  
** mari!

 **marinara:  
** it's okay  
I still love the little idiot  
he has me

 **adrikins:  
** you call him mean names!

 **marinara:  
** he bites me  
it's fair

 **adrikins:  
** no!


	27. 27

**AN:** Previously: Chloé posted a make-up video with Mari, Mari discussed with Nath about commissioning a banner for Chloé's channel, and Adrien and Luka started playing a farming game together.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **group chat: chloe's a beauty guru  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** sup nerds

 **lukalele:  
** hello third wheel

 **marinara:  
**?

 **lukalele:  
** u heard me

 **marinara:  
** I'm offended  
that's what I am

 **lukalele:  
** offended and intrusive  
a good combo for u

 **marinara:  
** I hate you  
why are you here

 **lukalele:  
** why are you here  
arent u at work

 **marinara:  
** …  
maybe

 **lukalele:  
** answer me slacker

 **marinara:  
** it's my break  
back off, dude

 **lukalele:  
** u never come here on ur break

 **marinara:  
** well  
I'm here!

 **Alyarr:  
** welcome

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
at least someone appreciates my presence

 **Alyarr:  
** I do  
a lot

 **marinara:  
** knew I could count on you

 **Alyarr:  
** any time babe

 **marinara:  
** everyone but you is dead to me

 **Alyarr:  
** I can get down with that  
we'll run off into the sunset

 **marinara:  
** can that be during the summer  
my ears hurt when it's cold

 **Alyarr:  
** run off into the sunset  
with earmuffs on

 **marinara:  
** right  
that sounds a lot better

 **lukalele:  
** I wish you good luck  
in your relationship

 **marinara:  
** thanks.

 **Alyarr:  
** appreciate it pal

 **lukalele:  
** ur welcome

 **marinara:  
** so nice

 **lukalele:  
** its the least I can do  
after ive been gifted such a nickname

 **Alyarr:  
** adrien's stupidity outdid ours

 **marinara:  
** it's truly a miracle

 **lukalele:  
** ill tell him u called him that

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
he'll think I'm using you to flirt with him

 **lukalele:  
** arent u

 **marinara:  
** no

 **lukalele:  
** joining our calls when ur not even farming  
is the same thing right

 **marinara:  
** bite me

 **lukalele:  
** u could always join us

 **marinara:  
** I will not.

 **Alyarr:  
** I feel like  
you have a vendetta against that game now  
what's wrong mari?

 **marinara:  
** I don't  
want to farm?

 **lukalele:  
** whats that  
all I can hear is u  
crying

 **marinara:  
** die

 **lukalele:  
** sobbing

 **Alyarr:  
** weeping

 **marinara:  
** don't join him?

 **lukalele:  
** wailing

 **marinara:  
** bye  
my break is over

 **Alyarr:  
** bye!

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **adrikins:  
** are you feeling better yet?

 **marinara:  
** idk  
not really  
I think I've got a cold

 **adrikins:  
** well  
yeah?  
you are sniffling

 **marinara:  
** you're sniffling  
fuck you

 **adrikins:  
** it's not an insult!  
no wonder you got sent home  
angry girl

 **marinara:  
** I want to die

 **adrikins:  
** pls don't

 **marinara:  
** I'll think about it

 **adrikins:  
** just  
cancel stream?  
they'll understand

 **marinara:  
** nah  
I'll cut it a few hours  
make it a short one

 **adrikins:  
** you really don't have to!

 **marinara:  
** I know but  
like  
it's my job

 **adrikins:  
** you've got two jobs

 **marinara:  
** we barely count the other one  
ignore that

 **adrikins:  
** want your parents to know you think that?  
how dare you!

 **marinara:  
** I'm a good daughter  
let me keep it that way

 **adrikins:  
** you could always  
quit, right?

 **marinara:  
** trying to make me jobless?

 **adrikins:  
** i'm  
trying to think of your well-being!  
you're always tired, mari

 **marinara:  
** I like sleep

 **adrikins:  
** that's not a good response

 **marinara:  
**!

 **adrikins:  
** why don't your parents  
hire someone else?  
you're usually busy  
so like  
it's not like it would be a waste of money

 **marinara:  
** I guess but  
it's a whole process trying to get someone good  
that they actually like and can trust  
that's why I started working more there after school

 **adrikins:  
** what was the plan if you went to uni then?

 **marinara:  
** cry  
idk  
I was working with someone at first but  
they quit after a few months for another job

 **adrikins:  
** rip

 **marinara:  
** mom has been asking me about that  
so  
maybe  
I really will think about it  
I'm not just saying it this time

 **adrikins:  
** promise?  
i'm not trying to make you poor  
so i can be the sugar daddy here

 **marinara:  
** pay for me

 **adrikins:  
** ok!

 **marinara:  
** nah I do make enough with streaming  
no flex there  
I swear  
but like  
I want to help my family too?  
I didn't think it would work out like this

 **adrikins:  
** but you're so lovable!  
i'm glad other people see it  
and then you've got luka too  
a dream team!

 **marinara:  
** a dream team  
you say  
but I'm the third wheel here

 **adrikins:  
** i have chickens to care for  
ok!  
i love you but i also love them

 **marinara:  
** love?  
you dare say you love me?

 **adrikins:  
** yeah!

 **marinara:  
** such lies

 **adrikins:  
** but i do!

 **marinara:  
** prove it

 **adrikins:  
** ok  
can i come over

 **marinara:  
** I mean  
sure?  
but I might sneeze on you  
and need to blow my nose every few minutes

 **adrikins:  
** that's fine!

 **marinara:  
** I'm not in  
prime kissing condition

 **adrikins:  
** then i can kiss your forehead!

 **marinara:  
** sure  
you do that

 **adrikins:  
** i will!  
be there soon!

 **marinara:  
** not my fault if you catch my cold

 **adrikins:  
** it's worth it to see you!

 **marinara:  
** don't try and butter me up  
I'm still going to sound like shit

 **adrikins:  
** i'll bring medicine!

 **marinara:  
** you don't have to  
I've still got some  
I think  
somewhere

 **adrikins:  
** you can't stop me!

-x-

 **group chat: chloe's a beauty guru  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **chloesterol:  
** hi loser

 **marinara:  
** hi other loser

 **chloesterol:  
** u done being gross yet

 **marinara:  
** ridiculous question  
never

 **chloesterol:  
** ew  
ur mom said ur dying

 **marinara:  
** I doubt that

 **chloesterol:  
** she said something like that

 **marinara:  
** close but no

 **chloesterol:  
** why didnt u tell me u were taking the day off

 **marinara:  
** the whole week  
I'm sick, idiot  
you don't want me sneezing at you, do you?

 **chloesterol:  
** u dont get to assume my kinks

 **marinara:  
** that's a no  
okay

 **chloesterol:  
** adrien said u were sick  
but i thought he was joking

 **marinara:  
** why

 **chloesterol:  
** idk  
said he was taking care of u  
couldve been some roleplay

 **marinara:  
** …  
I hate you

 **chloesterol:  
** i cant trust anyone around here

 **marinara:  
** why is it only you here  
I don't want you

 **chloesterol:  
** everyone wants me  
theyre in class i think  
nino just went to work

 **marinara:  
** then  
why are you here

 **chloesterol:  
** im sick

 **marinara:  
** no, you're not  
you'd be crying that you're dying  
and probably looking up symptoms  
and thinking it's worse than it is

 **chloesterol:  
** hey  
fuck u

 **marinara:  
** xo

 **chloesterol:  
** got cancelled  
im bored

 **marinara:  
** poor thing

 **chloesterol:  
** pity me

 **marinara:  
** oh, I am  
don't worry

 **chloesterol:  
** that makes me feel better

 **marinara:  
** that's good

 **chloesterol:  
** but im still bored

 **marinara:  
** go watch something

 **chloesterol:  
** i got bored of that

 **marinara:  
** I think you're just bored of life  
sorry

 **chloesterol:  
** amuse me

 **marinara:  
** hang on  
let me cough out a lung first

 **chloesterol:  
** yes  
suffer

 **marinara:  
** is that what you want  
huh  
my pain?

 **chloesterol:  
** little bit

 **marinara:  
** rude  
I thought we were getting married

 **chloesterol:  
** ive changed my mind  
ur too much trouble

 **marinara:  
**?

 **chloesterol:  
** fed up with adrien  
talking about ur ass

 **marinara:  
** he'd never

 **chloesterol:  
** fine  
i wish it was ur ass

 **marinara:  
** he is pure and wonderful

 **chloesterol:  
** if i have to hear about how nice u are  
one more time  
im going to die

 **marinara:  
** aren't you happy we're together  
this is your fault?

 **chloesterol:  
** i regret everything  
make him shut up

 **marinara:  
** I don't control him  
that's why it's a successful relationship

 **chloesterol:  
** uve been dating like  
two days  
u cant call it that

 **marinara:  
** three months **  
**but still longer than your relationships  
loser

 **chloesterol:  
** i love myself too much

 **marinara:  
** is that what you tell yourself

 **chloesterol:  
** how about  
fk off

 **marinara:  
** you're bored, aren't you?  
let me bully you

 **chloesterol:  
** i didnt sign up for this

 **marinara:  
** you chose to join this

 **chloesterol:  
** ye  
cause ur here

 **marinara:  
** so let me bully you

friendship

 **chloesterol:  
** bully me irl bitch  
im taller than u

 **marinara:  
** can I hug you instead

 **chloesterol:  
** maybe  
depends what ur wearing

 **marinara:  
** are you flirting with me

 **chloesterol:  
** dont touch me if ur clothes are itchy

 **marinara:  
** fucking rude  
haven't you seen my outfits lately  
I've been very stylish while dying

 **chloesterol:  
** cant see ur legs  
could be in pyjamas for all i know

 **marinara:  
** let's  
focus on my great make-up instead  
I've been using the tips you gave me

 **chloesterol:  
** good

 **marinara:  
** is that all I get

 **chloesterol:  
** uve looked good

 **marinara:  
** aw  
you love me

 **chloesterol:  
** thats a bit too far

 **marinara:  
** you love me!

 **chloesterol:  
** i will leave

 **marinara:  
** yeye  
go amuse yourself then  
good luck

 **chloesterol:  
** too lazy

 **marinara:  
** are you even not lazy

 **chloesterol:  
** sometimes

 **marinara:  
** tell me about the times

 **chloesterol:  
** before i go out  
but im inside  
so

 **marinara:  
** are you  
without make-up

 **chloesterol:  
** maybe

 **marinara:  
** what you wearing chloé

 **chloesterol:  
** whos flirting now

 **marinara:  
** me  
gimme the deets

 **chloesterol:  
** u said deets  
so no

 **marinara:  
** oh, come on  
it would've been worse if I actually said that

 **chloesterol:  
** i dont know u

 **marinara:  
** what do you mean  
I'm your best friend

 **chloesterol:  
** i regret that too

 **marinara:  
** as long as I'm in your thoughts  
it's fine

 **chloesterol:  
** what if theyre violent

 **marinara:  
** I'm into that

 **chloesterol:  
** ew

-x-

 **group chat: chloe's a beauty guru  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **ninny:  
** get away from me  
i dont want your germs

 **Thani:  
** Hi, Mari.  
Feeling better yet?

 **marinara:  
** not really  
but I've got today off again  
so I'm still in bed

 **Thani:  
** Oh, sweet.  
Planning to stay in there forever?

 **Alyarr:  
** can I join

 **marinara:  
** this bed is mine  
I paid for it

 **Alyarr:  
** I bet you'd let adrien in it  
traitor

 **adrikins:  
** no!  
i'm not allowed over any more

 **marinara:  
** I don't want to get you sick  
this is a no entry zone now

 **ninny:  
** are you meaning your home  
or what

 **marinara:  
** …

 **Alyarr:  
** it's a legit question

 **Thani:  
** The answer is very much needed.

 **marinara:  
** I hate you all  
you can't bully me when I'm weak  
that's mean

 **Thani:  
** It's out of love and affection.  
You've got all the medicine you need, right?

 **adrikins:  
** yes!

 **Alyarr:  
** he was asking mari  
not you

 **adrikins:  
** but i bought it!

 **ninny:  
** ok show off  
calm down

 **adrikins:  
** i'm a good person!

 **marinara:  
** the more you say it  
the more I start to suspect it's an act

 **ninny:  
** a permanent roleplay  
youre right

 **Thani:  
** He must be a good actor.

 **Alyarr:  
** or we're all just dumb  
there's also that

 **marinara:  
** it could be either

 **adrikins:  
** i'm not acting!  
i'm really bad at lying

 **marinara:  
** in person

 **adrikins:  
** i'd like to think i'm bad everywhere

 **ninny:  
** youre a real bad boy  
its true

 **Thani:  
** Emotionally stunted?

 **adrikins:  
** no?

 **marinara:  
** little bit

 **adrikins:  
** what do you mean  
little bit?

 **marinara:  
** xo

 **Thani:  
** Tragic backstory that only your love interest can unlock?

 **Alyarr:  
** no to that one

 **ninny:  
** hell tell anyone thatll listen

 **adrikins:  
** anyone that i like!

 **ninny:  
** same thing

 **adrikins:  
** there's people i don't like!

 **Thani:  
** Name one.

 **adrikins:  
** i  
can't think when you put me on the spot? **  
**

 **marinara:  
** is that it  
are you sure

 **adrikins:  
** yes!

 **marinara:  
** I dunno, man  
I don't think you're capable of hating anyone

 **adrikins:  
** i hate you

 **marinara:  
** wrong  
you hate that you can't come over right now  
that's different

 **adrikins:  
**!

 **Alyarr:  
** it's okay to admit your flaws adrien

 **ninny:  
** we can't all be perfect, man

 **adrikins:  
** disliking someone is being perfect?

 **ninny:  
** flaws mean youre not a robot

 **marinara:  
** we accept you for who you are  
idiot and all

 **adrikins:  
** you're all evil!

 **Thani:  
** Going to go and cry to your new best friend?

 **adrikins:  
** no!

 **marinara:  
** sad news  
luka's on his way over now so he won't be farming with you

 **adrikins:  
**?  
why can he come over?

 **marinara:  
** I don't care about him

 **Alyarr:  
** that's  
an interesting answer

 **marinara:  
** already infected  
who'd you think gave me it in the first place  
he was to atone for his sins  
by watching shitty films with me

 **adrikins:  
** i'm the third wheel now

 **Thani:  
** Third wheel implies that you're there with them.

 **adrikins:  
** ow  
right in the heart!

 **Alyarr:  
** someone had to break it to you

 **marinara:  
** he's all mine for now  
sorry

 **adrikins:  
** the betrayal...

 **marinara:  
** I'm sure you'll get over it  
but maybe not cry to chloé  
she's fed up with you talking about me

 **adrikins:  
** but she brings you up first!

 **marinara:  
** as she should

 **Alyarr:  
** that implies that you're not supposed to answer  
about marinette

 **adrikins:  
** but that's  
what a conversation is?

 **ninny:  
** let her vent at u instead

 **adrikins:  
** but it's not complaints!

 **Thani:  
** Let her moon over her, then.

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
let her moon

 **adrikins:  
** am i gonna be the third wheel with chloe soon

 **marinara:  
** what do you mean soon

 **adrikins:  
** no...  
already?

 **marinara:  
** I'm marrying her soon  
sorry

 **Thani:  
** Are we all invited?

 **marinara:  
** yeah, totally  
I'll stream it  
nath, you're my best man

 **Thani:  
** I deserve it.

 **marinara:  
** you do

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** You know I don't agree with that.

 **marinara:  
** you don't agree with anything  
get over it

 **Thani:  
** It's against my beliefs.

 **marinara:  
** I believe you're an idiot  
now watch the dang video

 **Thani:  
** Fine.  
But only because I like you a little bit.

 **marinara:  
** oh, only a little bit?  
how refreshing  
finally  
someone that doesn't fawn over me

 **Thani:  
** Maybe we'll get there someday.  
But right now, I only tolerate you.

 **marinara:  
** I donated to you yesterday

 **Thani:  
** Donated?  
Is that what we're calling it?

 **marinara:  
** yes  
it makes me sound good

 **Thani:  
** You paid me.

 **marinara:  
** for hand services

 **Thani:  
** For a commission.

 **marinara:  
** yes, that's what I said  
same thing, right?

 **Thani:  
** It's really, really not.  
It makes me sound dirty.

 **marinara:  
** don't you want someone to think of you like that?  
Otherwise you'll get lonely.

 **Thani:  
** It doesn't make me feel anything good when it's you.

 **marinara:  
** what  
who would you rather have?  
I'm all you've got, babe

 **Thani:  
** Don't babe me.

 **marinara:  
** what  
babe why

 **Thani:  
** I hate it.

 **marinara:  
** no, you don't

 **Thani:  
** I hate you.

 **marinara:  
** no, you tolerate me  
scroll up

 **Thani:  
** You're horrible.

 **marinara:**  
horribly tolerable.

 **Thani:  
** Mari, that's not a thing.

 **marinara:  
** it is  
gonna put that as my bio now

 **Thani:  
** …  
Go ahead.

 **marinara:  
** done  
now the people know

 **Thani:  
** How does Adrien tolerate you?

 **marinara:  
** my beauty makes up for my brawn

 **Thani:  
** Right.

 **marinara:  
** idk  
I've somehow tricked him into thinking I'm a good girlfriend  
so we're keeping it that way

 **Thani:  
** Impressive.  
Is he aware that you're an actual idiot?

 **marinara:  
** I think so

 **Thani:  
** You've got your work cut out for you.  
Are you offering him any hand services?

 **marinara:  
** oh, yes  
the gaming kind

 **Thani:  
** Of course.

 **marinara:  
** sneaky  
stealing my jokes

 **Thani:  
** Sharing is caring, right?

 **marinara:  
** yes  
like my money  
take more

 **Thani:  
** When a slot opens up.

 **marinara:  
** there should be a slot just for me  
I'm your most loyal customer

 **Thani:  
** I mean, if we're going be quantity, that's Luka.

 **marinara:  
** fuck off  
I'm going to beat him

 **Thani:  
** Are you?

 **marinara:  
** yes  
tell me when I can throw money at you for like  
ten emotes

 **Thani:  
** I'll get back to you.

 **marinara:  
** good  
because I want them exactly like luka's to piss him off

 **Thani:  
** I can do that.

 **marinara:  
** for a price  
right?  
I'm hilarious

 **Thani:  
** I'm considering blocking you.

 **marinara:  
** lies

 **Thani:  
** My hand services aren't worth this harassment.

 **marinara:  
** …

 **Thani:  
** You heard me.

 **marinara:  
** big fan of your work  
but not your words

 **Thani:  
** That's mildly offensive.

 **marinara:  
** only mildly?  
I need to work on my delivery

 **Thani:  
** You've gotten gentle in your old age.

 **marinara:  
** nath  
I'm younger than you

 **Thani:  
** My knees click when I get up.

 **marinara:  
** that's nice  
thank you for telling me

 **Thani:  
** You're welcome.

 **marinara:  
** I'll be thinking of your old knees now  
whenever I walk

 **Thani:  
** In just a few months, you'll be like me.

 **marinara:  
** I look forward to it  
I'll make a song to the clicks

 **Thani:  
** I'm a little bit worried about you.

 **marinara:  
** same  
but I have a question

 **Thani:  
** Go for it.

 **marinara:  
** are you busy tomorrow night

like  
do you have to be up the following morning

 **Thani:  
** No.

 **marinara:  
** that's not  
very clear

 **Thani:  
** Sorry, no plans.  
Unless Alya springs something on me.

 **marinara:  
** sweet  
wanna stay up stupidly late

 **Thani:  
** You're really selling the idea here.

 **marinara:  
** no need to be rude about it

 **Thani:  
** Sure, let's do it.  
It's been a while.

 **marinara:  
** well  
that was easy

 **Thani:  
** My old age has made me a pushover.

 **marinara:  
** true  
does that mean I can make you do all sorts of things now

 **Thani:  
** You already get my hand services.  
What more could you want?

 **marinara:  
** true...  
but maybe a bit of love

 **Thani:  
** Maybe.

 **marinara:  
** a little bit

 **Thani:  
** That depends.

 **marinara:  
** what does it depend on  
oh wise one

 **Thani:  
** On what you want to watch together.

 **marinara:  
** something  
bad

 **Thani:  
** Okay, I'll love you a little.

 **marinara:  
**!

-x-

 **private chat: leks and marinara**

 **leks:  
** hi

 **marinara:  
** hi

 **leks:  
** do u have a spare mouse  
mine broke

 **marinara:  
** …  
ask your brother?

 **leks:  
** he said no  
and  
i'm too lazy to search in his room  
it's a mess

 **marinara:  
** did you look under his bed

 **leks:  
** why would i look there

 **marinara:  
** because  
he keeps spare shit in a box there

 **leks:  
** o  
for real  
?

 **marinara:  
** you're both hopeless  
okay, I put it under there  
hoping  
he'd remember

 **leks:  
** helpful

 **marinara:  
** check it, loser

 **leks:  
** k

 **marinara:  
** unbelievable

 **leks:  
** got one  
it lights up

 **marinara:  
** you might be able to choose the colours  
if it's the one I'm thinking of

 **leks:  
** nice

 **marinara:  
** enjoy  
was that all you wanted

 **leks:  
** maybe

 **marinara:  
** using me...  
when I'm ill...

 **leks:  
** i use u when ur ok too  
don't be so dramatic

 **marinara:  
** try and stop me

 **leks:  
** ew

 **marinara:  
** wtf  
this isn't feeling much like a friendship right now  
you're terrible

 **leks:  
** give me more things  
then we'll talk

 **marinara:  
** what do you want

 **leks:  
** rose wants to see u again

 **marinara:  
** as she should  
I'm awesome?

 **leks:  
** ew

 **marinara:  
** stop ewing me  
I have feelings!

 **leks:  
** whatever  
do u wanna dye ur hair again  
or are u gonna  
let it grow out

 **marinara:  
** nah  
if rose is up for it  
then sure  
but I don't want that to be the only time  
that I see her?

 **leks:  
** ok  
buy us lunch  
then hair

 **marinara:  
** I can do that

 **leks:  
** k

 **marinara:  
** but  
I feel like you just used me for food

 **leks:  
** is that anything new

 **marinara:  
** true...


	28. 28

**AN:** Previously: Luka got given his nickname, Mari suffered from a cold and comtemplated quitting her day job. There'll be one or two chapters more, but then the story's done.

 _Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Chat Noir © Thomas Astruc_

 **private chat: chloesterol and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** chloé...

 **chloesterol:  
** what

 **marinara:  
** I'm not dating you

 **chloesterol:  
** date me for clout

 **marinara:  
** no

 **chloesterol:  
** well  
im not deleting that pic  
so people can continue to think that

 **marinara:  
** I'm in a happy relationship  
sorry

 **chloesterol:  
** for like  
three days now

 **marinara:  
** still three months

 **chloesterol:  
** it feels shorter than that

 **marinara:  
** time flies when you're  
having fun

 **chloesterol:  
** gross

 **marinara:  
** you have all the fun with me

 **chloesterol:  
** no  
ur boring

 **marinara:  
** mmm  
why do you watch me then

 **chloesterol:  
** i laugh at u  
in pity

 **marinara:  
** ah yes  
the pity laugh  
I understand

 **chloesterol:  
** good

 **marinara:  
** I fucking swear though  
if chat starts saying shit about you  
I'm going to cry

 **chloesterol:  
** stick up for me  
love me

 **marinara:  
** no no  
they'll just mock me  
not you

 **chloesterol:  
** id mock u too

 **marinara:  
** reassuring  
thank you for the ego boost, chloé

 **chloesterol:  
** anything for u

 **marinara:  
** do you actually mean that  
or are you lying

 **chloesterol:  
** depends  
what do u want

 **marinara:  
**  
can you send me a pic of you  
that like  
actually shows if you've got moles or whatever

 **chloesterol:  
** wat

 **marinara:  
** listen  
what if there's a mole you always edit out  
keeping it from the world  
I need to know these details

 **chloesterol:  
** what are u doing

 **marinara:  
** nothing

 **chloesterol:  
** right

 **marinara:  
** look  
I thought it would be better to ask  
than to just shove my camera in your face

 **chloesterol:  
** i wouldnt have questioned it  
im beautiful

 **marinara:  
** a beautiful idiot

 **chloesterol:  
** isnt that u

 **marinara:  
** aw  
you calling me beautiful?

 **chloesterol:  
** i dont associate with ugly people

 **marinara:  
** so nice  
thank you

 **chloesterol:  
** your eyeliner was wonky last night

 **marinara:  
** leave me alone

 **chloesterol:  
** u smudged it when u screamed into ur hands

 **marinara:  
** priorities

 **chloesterol:  
** dont do it again

 **marinara:  
** maybe I'll wear no make-up next time  
what'll you say then  
huh

 **chloesterol:  
** gross  
thats what

 **marinara:  
** what  
I bet you've got like  
no eyebrows without make-up on

 **chloesterol:  
** im beautiful  
fk u

 **marinara:  
** prove it

 **chloesterol:  
** maybe i will

 **marinara:  
** pussy  
do it

 **chloesterol:  
** u know what

 **marinara:  
** what

 **chloesterol:  
** come stay over

 **marinara:  
** that sounds oddly threatening

 **chloesterol:  
** u can finally have a good skincare routine

 **marinara:  
** don't insult me to get me in your home

 **chloesterol:  
** come

 **marinara:  
** okay, sure  
when

 **chloesterol:  
** now

 **marinara:  
** what

 **chloesterol:  
** u dont stream today  
come

 **marinara:  
** I have work in the morning

 **chloesterol:  
** so slip away

 **marinara:  
** you want me to do the walk of shame...

 **chloesterol:  
** ur skin will be glowing

 **marinara:  
** walk of  
pride

 **chloesterol:  
** ye

 **marinara:  
** okay  
I can get behind that

 **chloesterol:  
** good

 **marinara:  
** do u want me to bring anything over  
not wine

 **chloesterol:  
** pyjamas

 **marinara:  
** good thinking

-x-

 **group chat: milknet is back  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **leks:  
** hi

 **lukalele:  
** hi

 **adrikins:  
** hi

 **marinara:  
** hi

 **lukalele:  
** what u doin here

 **marinara:  
** wanting to talk with friends  
is that a crime  
luka  
is it?

 **adrikins:  
** it is  
when you ditch us!

 **marinara:  
** it was one evening  
you'll get over it

 **leks:  
** never

 **marinara:  
** you could've come too!

 **leks:  
** no thanks

 **marinara:  
** chloé actually offered  
it wasn't just me being nice

 **lukalele:  
** ur never nice

 **adrikins:  
** where was my invite?

 **marinara:  
** lost

 **lukalele:  
** ur not welcome with them any more  
Im sorry adrien

 **leks:  
** im more liked than u

 **adrikins:  
** how could this happen...

 **marinara:  
** chloé wanted the attention on her  
not on you

 **adrikins:  
** so you're saying  
you love me!

 **leks:  
** absolutely  
be gross in private

 **marinara:  
** I love you more than chloé

 **leks:  
** like that's hard

 **adrikins:  
** chloe is very lovable!

 **lukalele:  
** idk  
I think she might hate me

 **marinara:  
** no that's just chloé  
don't take it personally

 **lukalele:  
** I am

 **marinara:  
** well  
don't

 **lukalele:  
** try and stop me

 **marinara:  
**?

 **lukalele:  
** exactly  
u cant

 **marinara:  
** why do I even put up with you  
you make me sigh

 **lukalele:  
** from fondness

 **marinara:  
** no

 **leks:  
** no one sighs from fondness  
for u

 **marinara:  
** exactly

 **leks:  
** i'm the favourite child

 **lukalele:  
** facts pls

 **leks:  
** ask mom

 **lukalele:  
** facts pls

 **marinara:  
** I think it depends on the day  
and whether either of you do your own washing

 **lukalele:  
** hey

 **marinara:  
** what  
you know I'm right

 **leks:  
** see  
it's me

 **marinara:  
** you're both equally as terrible

 **lukalele:  
** Im sorry our moms loves us  
while u got thrown out

 **marinara:  
** first of all  
that's not correct at all

 **leks:  
** u shouted too much at night  
had to go

 **marinara:  
** that's not even a little bit right

 **lukalele:  
** worst child  
I understand why ur mom complains to ours

 **marinara:  
** she does not

 **leks:  
** ye but  
can u prove that  
?

 **marinara:  
** this is ridiculous  
I am the perfect child here  
the shining example of what you two should be

 **lukalele:  
** depressed

 **leks:  
** overworked

 **marinara:  
** fed up with you two  
you scared adrien away

 **leks:  
** weak

 **lukalele:  
** dont change the subject  
were busy insulting u

 **marinara:  
** must you  
I'm sensitive

 **leks:  
** weak

 **marinara:  
** were both of those directed at me  
or what

 **leks:  
** mayb

 **marinara:  
** e

 **lukalele:  
** children  
calm down

 **marinara:  
** shut up, grandpa

 **lukalele:  
** I dont have any white hairs

 **marinara:  
** yeah because you dyed the few grey ones  
I know your secrets

 **leks:  
** clinging to youth with blue hair  
i see how it is

 **marinara:  
** pathetic isn't it

 **leks:  
** ur  
pink

 **marinara:  
** yeah because strangers on the internet pressured me into it  
peer pressure is dangerous  
watch out

 **lukalele:  
** already given her that talk  
its ok

 **marinara:  
** wow  
you're actually a good brother

 **lukalele:  
** thanks  
I do try sometimes

 **leks:  
** brother  
can u get me a drink

 **lukalele:  
** no

 **leks:  
** that lasted long

 **lukalele:  
** I gave u a mouse  
what more could u want from me

 **marinara:  
** clearly too much  
tsk

 **leks:  
** i'm testing the boundaries

 **marinara:  
** you've been doing that all your life

 **leks:  
** i'm still testing

 **lukalele:  
** thats it  
Im moving out  
Ive had enough

 **leks:  
** ye ok  
sure

 **lukalele:  
** mari let me in

 **marinara:  
** no  
you had your chance

 **lukalele:  
** Ive changed my mind  
let me share ur bed

 **marinara:  
** what's in it for me

 **lukalele:  
** my  
company

 **marinara:  
** yeah no

 **marinara has left the chat**

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** okay  
okay  
I broached the subject

 **adrikins:  
** you did?

 **marinara:  
** well  
more like my dad asked how I was doing  
and I just blurted that my stream's going great

 **adrikins:  
** you are the stream  
it's true!

 **marinara:  
** shut up  
he looked a bit concerned at that  
but then my mom came in so the subject came

 **adrikins:  
** that  
doesn't sound like you talked about it at all?

 **marinara:  
** well  
I did in my head  
for a while  
and then they asked if I wanted to have dinner with them tomorrow  
and I didn't say no

 **adrikins:  
** that's good!

 **marinara:  
** and then  
they asked if you want to come

 **adrikins:  
**?  
really?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
so  
are you free?

 **adrikins:  
** definitely!  
i'm excited  
do you think they'll like me as much as nino?

 **marinara:  
** stupid question

 **adrikins:  
** you're right...  
nino is too precious

 **marinara:  
** let's just skip that  
but yes, they really want you there  
don't feel pressured to come though  
you don't have to like  
suck up to them or anything  
if my parents offend you somehow  
I'm apologising in advance

 **adrikins:  
** but they seem so nice?

 **marinara:  
** they're  
enthusiastic

 **adrikins:  
** even chloe says they're nice!  
i've got high hopes

 **marinara:  
** aaa

 **adrikins:  
** is that a scream of joy

 **marinara:  
** it could be

 **adrikins:  
** how can i be certain it is?

 **marinara:  
** make me happy  
then it'll always be

 **adrikins:  
** so i'll never make you scream in pleasure?  
way to break it to me gently

 **marinara:  
** gross

 **adrikins:  
** gross?

 **marinara:  
** let's stick to holding hands  
forever  
we're innocent

 **adrikins:  
** can we not

 **marinara:  
** that depends on whether my parents like you

 **adrikins:  
** it does?

 **marinara:  
** no  
but that's a bonus

 **adrikins:  
** challenge accepted!

 **marinara:  
** the challenge of  
getting into my pants

 **adrikins:  
** we're innocent!  
don't be so crude!

 **marinara:  
** ok ok  
my bad

 **adrikins:  
** good

 **marinara:  
** I'll try and talk to them before dinner  
I guess  
since you coming will like  
clear up any awkwardness

 **adrikins:  
** wouldn't it be the other way around?

 **marinara:  
** nah

 **adrikins:  
** if you say so?

-x-

 **group chat: adrien's a homewrecker  
marinara has joined the chat**

 **marinara:  
** hello

 **chloesterol:  
** hi

 **marinara:  
** you're here  
early

 **chloesterol:  
** i just got home

 **marinara:  
** is the milkshake gone yet

 **chloesterol:  
** still drinking it

 **Alyarr:  
** she showed us a candid pic of you  
looking real mad while making it

 **marinara:  
** I can't help that my expression looks like that  
naturally

 **chloesterol:  
** strike a pose and ull look fine

 **marinara:  
** thanks  
that does wonders for my confidence

 **chloesterol:  
** for real tho  
u could actually put some effort in and take nice pics

 **marinara:  
** idk  
that really is effort

 **chloesterol:  
** the last u posted was blurry

 **marinara:  
** a statement

 **chloesterol:  
** not a good one

 **marinara:  
** you're hurting me here

 **Alyarr:  
** there is a big contrast between you two here  
 **  
marinara:  
** and you  
you're the loser here

 **Alyarr:  
** what the hell

 **marinara:  
**!

 **Alyarr:  
** listen  
just because adrien gave your dad some flowers  
doesn't mean you get to take it out on me

 **marinara:  
** I will not be controlled

 **chloesterol:  
** urs dads hot tho

 **marinara:  
** I will kick you  
I can do that

 **chloesterol:  
** rude

 **marinara:  
** let's change the subject  
hello, alya  
how are you

 **Alyarr:  
** offended

 **chloesterol:  
** as u should be  
ur follower count is lowest here

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm not an attention whore like you two  
sorry

 **chloesterol:  
** thats why i like mari best  
she understands me

 **marinara:  
** I understand nothing  
don't look at me

 **chloesterol:  
** she understands me  
and that i like to look pretty  
so maybe she should do the same

 **marinara:  
** my phone's camera is pretty shit though

 **chloesterol:  
** fix that

 **marinara:  
** no  
it's not broken so I'm fine with it

 **chloesterol:  
** uve got the money to

 **marinara:  
** that doesn't mean I'm going to

 **chloesterol:  
** im going to smash it

 **marinara:  
** well  
that's just rude

 **chloesterol:  
** its called being a good friend

 **marinara:  
** has anyone  
ever  
called you that

 **chloesterol:  
** maybe once

 **marinara:  
** a badge of honour

 **chloesterol:  
** take pics of ur pretty skin

 **marinara:  
** you should kinda murdery when you say it like that

 **chloesterol:  
** im not going to kill u

 **marinara:  
** I don't believe that  
but ok

 **chloesterol:  
** not unless u keep up with the routine

 **marinara:  
** why are you threatening me  
over skincare

 **chloesterol:  
** have a selfcare day  
look after urself

 **marinara:  
** what do you think I've been doing before you  
?

 **chloesterol:  
** wearing bad clothes

 **marinara:  
** offensive...

 **chloesterol:  
** ur the one that came to me for help

 **marinara:  
** I'd never

 **chloesterol:  
** u come to me for other help too

 **Alyarr:  
** getting lesbian vibes here

 **marinara:  
** we're married

 **Alyarr:  
** right  
my bad

 **chloesterol:  
** fk u

 **Alyarr:  
** I said I'm sorry?

 **chloesterol:  
** im leaving

 **marinara:  
** bye chlo

 **chloesterol:  
** bye loser

 **Alyarr:  
** bye?

 **chloesterol has left the chat**

 **marinara:  
** before you even ask  
I doubt you pissed her off

 **Alyarr:  
** sometimes  
I can't even tell if she actually likes us

 **marinara:  
** sdkjghdfhfj  
she does, I swear

 **Alyarr:  
** you and adrien say this  
but whenever you're both gone  
it's so so awkward here

 **marinara:  
** she's shy  
in her own way

 **Alyarr:  
** I'm  
sure

 **marinara:  
** if it helps  
she doesn't really bitch about you guys  
so that's a good sign

 **Alyarr:  
** you two get along well  
and it confuses me greatly

 **marinara:  
** idk  
I never would've thought we'd be friends  
but she's actually really cool

 **Alyarr:  
** will I ever see it mari  
will I

 **marinara:  
** if you deserve it

 **Alyarr:  
** wow  
telling me I'm not a good girl  
I see how it is

 **marinara:  
** only nino can call you a bad girl  
sorry

 **Alyarr:  
** die

 **marinara:  
** cruel...

-x-

 **private chat: adrikins and marinara**

 **marinara:  
** ok  
I did it for real this time

 **adrikins:  
** tell me more?

 **marinara:  
** luka's already confirmed that I did the right thing  
so my confidence isn't crumbling  
and I will not be crying in bed tonight

 **adrikins:  
** that's  
great to hear?

 **marinara:  
** validation and praise if what I live off of

 **adrikins:  
** and stalling!

 **marinara:  
** ya  
I'm getting to it...

 **adrikins:  
** i'm impatient!

 **marinara:  
** you really are  
ok  
so

 **adrikins:  
** so

 **marinara:  
** so

 **adrikins:  
** so...

 **marinara:  
** I brought up  
maybe not working there as often  
and they were really supportive?  
like  
I knew they would but  
but they seemed really happy that I brought it up myself?

 **adrikins:  
** good!

 **marinara:  
** they're gonna look for someone now  
two

 **adrikins:  
** someones!

 **marinara:  
** yes  
and I also got told to extend the offer to you  
if you want

 **adrikins:  
**?

 **marinara:  
** already said you're busy but  
they wanted to see you more so it's an excuse I think?

 **adrikins:  
** as much as i'd like to say yes  
don't think i can?  
i'm a full time mom you know

 **marinara:  
** you are, yes  
and a rich boy  
rich boys don't need jobs

 **adrikins:  
** shhh!  
don't bully me

 **marinara:  
** okay, mom

 **adrikins:  
** that sounds weird!

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
let's not do that again

 **adrikins:  
** so they're fine with you quitting  
for real?

 **marinara:  
** yeah  
they offered to let me go like  
immediately?  
but I said I'd stick around to meet the new people  
and help out until they're all settled and  
trusted

 **adrikins:  
** exciting!

 **marinara:  
** hopefully  
fingers crossed it's no one I went to school with  
that'll be awkward

 **adrikins:  
** oh no  
the dreaded  
what do you do now conversation?

 **marinara:  
** the worst...

 **adrikins:  
** i got asked that the other day  
and just  
blanked

 **marinara:  
** that's what you do  
nothing important

 **adrikins:  
** rude!

 **marinara:  
** well  
you're not doing me yet, are you?

 **adrikins:  
** marinette!

 **marinara:  
** what  
that was a good one  
come on

 **adrikins:  
** my eyes!

 **marinara:  
** yeah yeah  
imagine my eyes  
when you hit on my dad

 **adrikins:  
** oh my god?  
i did not!

 **marinara:  
** mmm...

 **adrikins:  
** i panicked ok?  
i wanted to be cute!

 **marinara:  
** you're always cute  
but for real  
thanks for giving them flowers  
you didn't have to?  
you didn't have to bring anything at all  
other than yourself  
yeah

 **adrikins:  
** i wanted to!  
i needed to make a good impression right

 **marinara:  
** you make me happy  
that's good enough already

 **adrikins:  
** now it's even better!

 **marinara:  
** if you say so

 **adrikins:  
** bribing them  
to give me their daughter!

 **marinara:  
** am I only worth flowers to you  
wow?

 **adrikins:  
** i can be flashier next time  
if there is  
a next time

 **marinara:  
** probably

 **adrikins:  
** cool

 **marinara:  
** cool

 **adrikins:  
** cool

 **marinara:  
** so  
are you ditching me later for luka  
or do you wanna watch something with me

 **adrikins:  
** chicken time!

 **marinara:  
** I hate that answer

 **adrikins:  
** i'm a responsible parent!  
mari  
let's  
move in together and get chickens!

 **marinara:  
** yeah, no  
that's not happening

 **adrikins:  
** which bit

 **marinara:  
** both

 **adrikins:  
** the rejection...

 **marinara:  
** no pets in my building

 **adrikins:  
** that's  
not true at all?

 **marinara:  
** new rule

 **adrikins:**  
wow!  
just break my heart gently  
pls?

 **marinara:  
** ok  
someday we'll move in  
and dress plagg in a chicken costume

 **adrikins:  
** dslkgjdhdj

 **marinara:  
** that's the best I've got  
sorry...

 **adrikins:  
** next halloween

 **marinara:  
** too soon

 **adrikins:  
** i meant for the costume!

 **marinara:  
** oh!  
that's doable  
probably  
might have to be for a small dog

 **adrikins:  
** a real photoshoot!

 **marinara:  
** looking forward to it

 **adrikins:  
** i'll get chloe to take the good pics!

 **marinara:  
** that's  
pushing it a bit I think

 **adrikins:  
** no no!  
she's begging to take your pics  
and this'll make you happy  
so i'll convince her eventually!

 **marinara:  
** that made no sense  
but ok

 **adrikins:  
** shhhh...

-x-

 **private chat: Thani and marinara**

 **Thani:  
** Okay, give it to me straight.  
Was that good enough or not?

 **marinara:  
** v good

 **Thani:  
** Yes?

 **marinara:  
** yeah she'll love it  
thank you

 **Thani:  
** I still need to actually colour it.

 **marinara:  
** true  
but it's very nice  
chloé's going to love it  
for real

 **Thani:  
** If you're sure.

 **marinara:  
** very sure  
very very  
as long as you get her hair colour right  
she'll be happy

 **Thani:  
** You're making me nervous.

 **marinara:  
** kdsghh  
just do what you do  
it'll be fine  
it's a present anyway

 **Thani:  
** Are you sure she's not the type to straight out say she hates it?  
Because I'm getting that vibe from her.

 **marinara:  
** probably  
but she won't hate it

 **Thani:  
** You're oddly confident.

 **marinara:  
** because I'm a good person  
nah she said she wanted this anyway  
so  
it's kind of easy to guess her reaction

 **Thani:  
** Okay.

 **marinara:  
** you're real worried about this  
calm down  
it's chloé

 **Thani:  
** I'm a nervous person.

 **marinara:  
** chill out, my guy

 **Thani:  
** That doesn't really help.

 **marinara:  
** when are you gonna start slacking  
I'm bored

 **Thani:  
** Watch at half past?  
I want to finish this video first.

 **marinara:  
** hang on  
you weren't even drawing?

 **Thani:  
** There's more to me than my work, you fool.

 **marinara:  
** I'm amazed  
and feel swindled all at once

 **Thani:  
** I'm sorry you had to find out this way.

 **marinara:  
** it's a tragic day...

 **Thani:  
** At least I'm not ditching you, right?  
You should leave Adrien for me.

 **marinara:  
** you're absolutely right  
let's ride off into the sunset

 **Thani:  
** What are we riding on?

 **marinara:  
** bicycles

 **Thani:  
** Have you got a neat little basket at the front?

 **marinara:  
** I don't  
own one at all  
unless my parents still have mine from like  
ten years ago

 **Thani:  
** Pretty sure my parents still have mine.

 **marinara:  
** great  
let's use that

 **Thani:  
** Hang on, I need to come get you first.

 **marinara:  
** ok  
might as well sleep until morning then  
that's how long it'll take you

 **Thani:  
** Maybe my legs are really muscly.  
And I'll get there in record time.

 **marinara:  
** woo me with your leg muscles

 **Thani:  
** I'll flex them in a stretch.

 **marinara:  
** oh, man  
I sure am getting hot and sweaty  
thinking of your long spider legs

 **Thani:  
** …

 **marinara:  
** am I wrong

come on

 **Thani:  
** Spiders aren't very sexy.  
You've ruined my dream.

 **marinara:  
** it was a dream to seduce me?  
how sweet

 **Thani:  
** I've changed my mind.  
I'll get someone else to appreciate my spider legs.

 **marinara:  
** I see you're embracing it now  
and leaving me  
is this how all relationships end

 **Thani:  
** It's how ours does.  
Good-bye, Marinette.

 **marinara:  
** no

 **Thani:  
** Bye.

 **marinara:  
** no?  
you said you'd spend time with me!

 **Thani:  
** That was until I stopped fantasising about you and my childhood bike.  
I'm sorry, we can't be together.

 **marinara:  
** this is terrible

 **Thani:  
** You are.

 **marinara:  
** wtf  
it hasn't even been two minutes  
and you're insulting me?

 **Thani:  
** You deserve it.

 **marinara:  
** I'm sensitive, okay  
I can't handle such abuse

 **Thani:  
** Poor baby.

 **marinara:  
** I'm crying.

 **Thani:  
** Cry harder.

 **marinara:  
** you'd like that, wouldn't you?

 **Thani:  
** I'm going to get a drink.

 **marinara:  
** yes  
yes!  
I'll join you!

 **Thani:  
** Pick something to watch.

 **marinara:  
**!


End file.
